Eez Positive I Positive! I No Kill Person! (Episode 2)
My uncle, Mother’s younger brother, visited. It was a weekend in December. Frankly, I could have done without his presence. I was having enough trouble with Mother and my sister as it was. I sincerely didn’t want to add his wahala to the mix. Thankfully, my sister has small sense when it comes to understanding what boundaries are. She’d always be a homophobic idiot Christian, but, she doesn’t make the mistake of bringing it into my room. Heck, she doesn’t even make the mistake of entering my room without my express invitation. Very unlike Mother and her brothers. Those ones have no understanding of boundaries at all!
I mean, there was this one time in 2015 when he visited, and after we’d had a long family discussion, I went to bed. Only to wake up to him quietly going through the things in the chest of drawers next to my bed. All because Mother had said during that meeting that she suspected I was using hard drugs. (Which, I honestly was, but only when I was in school. *tongue out* Sue me!) If he thought he’d find proof of my predilections in my room, eiyah unto him. Plus, some other time, I’d seen him going through my sister’s stuff, in his words, “…to check if she was still keeping her body holy.”
The memory of that happening creeped me out every time I thought about it. So, to hear that he’d be visiting our house was disheartening. I mean, my status was still a secret in this house. It was just between Mother and me. My sister, despite being a medical practitioner, still didn’t know. And we most definitely were not ever telling my dad. It was a bit irritating, knowing that I’d have to hide my drugs in some really out-of-the-way place to avoid detection.
I was still trying to figure out where to place them when Mother walked into my room. There was a grave look on her face, and I was about to ask her if anything was wrong, when she said it. Mother opened her mouth and told me to take my drugs and hide them in her room, inside one of her boxes. It’d have been a fine suggestion if not for one very weird thing she did: Madam was whispering! I mean, we were alone in the house (my sister had gone to the market), no one could hear us talk, yet this woman was whispering while talking to me about my drugs. I sha maintained my composure and moved the drugs to her room. And throughout the time her brother was around, I was always going to her room to take my meds.
However, on this fateful day, I forgot to close her door behind me before opening her box to get my meds. Next thing I knew, I heard her angry voice. I turned to see her standing in the doorway, fuming at me.
Why was she angry? you ask.
Well, apparently I was being careless – that what if it was my sister or her brother was the one who was walking past and saw me through the open door… That, oh, so this is how I want to disgrace her, to bring shame to her… That what was I thinking when I failed to lock the door. And on and on and on she went.
But, here’s the problem: my sister and uncle had gone out that morning in search of a particular type of bread they’re fond of. I entered her room less than a minute after they left the house. So, how could they have been at the door? I tried to point it out to her but she wouldn’t listen. Madam kept hissing angrily at me till I lost it and told her to shut up. After telling her a few more angry words, I took my meds, locked her box and stalked out of her room.
Ah-ahn! You people shuu epp me tell this woman that eez just positive I positive oh, I dinnor kill person.
Written by Mitch
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20 Comments
Nicki Minaj
August 27, 06:47You Kwan, calm down. You should also sensitized them. You don’t expect her to understand that it’s not a death sentence or anything to be ashamed of. She’s just exhibiting her fears. She’s trying for the others not to know about it. Trust me, it’s better for one person to know about it than the whole family. It spreads like wild fire. Before you know it, they’ll start avoiding you like a plague. It’s reality.
Mariposa
August 27, 07:28Bitter Truth… It’s not gonna be easy but you also have to Sensitive Them on it…
Kudos to your Mum, Honestly, Parents can be sometimes annoying but never ever disrespect them. I’ll suggest you apologize to your Mum as well.
Like @Nicki Minaj wrote… You have a Job now. Not easy but it’s just a Phase that you’ll Overcome…
Mitch
August 28, 12:32When you’ve known my mother as long as I have, you’d come to discover that her motives are usually not as benign as they appear on the surface.
Still, I get your point.
We’re currently at a weird place in our relationship. And I prefer it to the open confrontations or her overbearing intrusions into my life.
So…yeah.
Jay
August 27, 07:44I feel you should enlighten her and make her understand better. My mum as spiritual/religious as she is, has helped me alot through my journey plus my dad and my immediate brother. …
Mitch
August 28, 12:33You do know that enlightenment comes when the individual wants to get enlightened, right? Not when they’re closed against knowledge. I can’t split her head open to stuff the knowledge into her brain na. ???
Yusuf
August 27, 07:44I hear all these stories, bout changing dishes, and all sorts of segregating bs and all I can think about is how loving and supportive my mom was, is. It’s painful how misunderstood we are when it comes to dealing with positive persons.
Mitch
August 28, 12:36You are lucky, man.
Most of us didn’t get understanding like that from our parents.
Black Dynasty
August 27, 07:48Sighs, we have a lot to teach the older generation. I would however be damned if any of my uncles have the audacity to enter my room and go through my things whether I’m there or not.
I don’t care how much older they are, they will understand boundaries that very day. My parents wouldn’t even dare.
Moyo
August 28, 00:59I thought I was alone. I will reset the idiot.
Mitch
August 28, 12:39I currently am waiting for the person who’d be unfortunate enough to try nonsense like that with me again. It’s going to be a full dragging.
Chocolad??
August 27, 16:02Be easy on your mom.
Take it from someone who wish he could still hear his mom complain about everything, including the shape of my nose(she thought my nose got bigger as a result of my dad beatings. Lol)
You lashing back at her won’t change anything.
People react differently to this kind of discovery and this is what she chose.
I think by now, you should understand that when you start living with HIV, there are certain adjustments that has to be made. In your case; it’s your relationship with your mom.
Yield!
Find strength in surrender.
And try dealing with her differently.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Mitch
August 28, 12:43Find strength in surrender?
Are you kidding me right now?
Try surrendering to a steamroller. Or a whirlpool. That’s the kind of fucking force my mother is. If you don’t push back against her, be sure she’d run your life for you. Heck, she virtually runs the lives of 4 of her 5 brothers, including her 2 elder brothers. It’s fight or be ruled with her. Terrible part is, she doesn’t know when she does this. She just believes she’s helping you to be what “… God wants you to be.”
So, no. Thanks, but, no thanks.
I like my independence of mind way too much.
Good boy
August 27, 18:25I’m positive too, I haven’t told anyone in my house, I hope they. Never find out. You’re lucky you have your mum. Lucky you?.
I hide my drugs
Mitch
August 28, 12:48If you think their reaction to the news of your positivity would be discriminatory, please don’t tell them. Your peace of mind is paramount.
If you need to talk to someone desperately, find a friend you can confide in, someone you trust and unload on them. You’d find that it’s really good for the soul. Or, you could talk to Pink Panther. He can either refer you to me or one of our resident psychologists, or talk to you himself.
Be good, nnam.
Good boy
August 28, 20:18Thank you? I will message them. I would pass telling a friend now. If I will it will be when I’m independent.
My parents found out about my sexuality recently, its been kind of okay tho, just advise once in a while. Them now finding out about my sexuality, thy won’t even believe I didn’t get it from sex. I just hope they never find out. I’m in my final year in school now and I want to go and do some diplomas next year. I still need a lot from them. Thank you kitodairies. I just came across your site and I like your stories both fiction and non fiction
Genevieve Nnaji
August 27, 21:18You told your mum to shut up?
Waoooh!!!
Mitch
August 28, 12:44?????
I said it in the heat of anger, plis. I’m not a bad shaid
Good boy
August 28, 07:29You are so lucky to have your mum, its good she doesn’t want anyone to know. I’m positive too, I didn’t get it from sex but my FAM won’t believe. I hope they never find out
Vin
August 29, 03:17Please can I have your number I would love talking with you in private
Rubby
August 31, 11:58That mother needs to be told shut up a thousand times.
She is supposed to show her son so much love.
For heaven’s sake if she doesn’t wants to be a good support system to me then let her mind her business then, I will move out of the house and start life over again period.
I have a friend who is going through this as well, rather his own is even worst.
This mama has given him an altimatun to move out of the hux.
Any little thing he does the mama will be like I hope u done wash the spoon well, I hope you Don wash the cup and plate well .
Sometimes she is like Abeg stay far from me make you no come infect me.
Guys pls just imagine that kind of discrimination and stigma coming from your own biological mum.
I fit run mental for that kind Mata.
But funny enough all this mums are very lucky, cuz if na me I for Don show them serious madness.
Been positive over ten years now and none of my family members is aware about it all because I don’t have that energy to get such discrimination and stigma from them.
My peace of mind my pride.