Femme Guys Need To Man Up? Seriously?
There is a hilarious tint to femmephobia in that homosexual men are sometimes the ones keenest to peddle it. From quotes about how God created you masc not femme to remarks about how you might out them or how you’re misrepresenting homosexuality, the sentiments may be different but the stupidity is the same.
It’s not even a special trend. The oppressed have always been guilty of oppressing members of their class while fighting for an end to their own oppression or closing their eyes to oppression of members of their class in exchange for tiny gestures of ingratiation.
You think femme people are “somehow” (the go-to euphemism for ‘different’ or ‘inferior’) and should give in to “straight acting” so that they are easier on the eyes and more easily digestible by your homophobic, sexually-repressed yet sexually-obsessed, faux conservative society. You disguise your disapproval as concern for them and all.
Well, fuck you, fuck your concern and fuck your society.
People are naturally feminine in the same way people are naturally homosexual. You don’t get to school a homophobe on the illogicality of homophobia and then come on your update to write: “If I wanted to date feminine guys, why don’t I just date a woman?” Is your brain run by NEPA? Imagine the irony of it all.
We need to stop teaching boys that there are certain things that boys should do or not do if they want to be considered men. We need to stop making people feel inferior for being who they are. We need to attack those adverts that attach inanities like beer drinking or muscles to quotes like “for real men” in the same way feminists attack ads that place women primarily in the kitchen. These gender constructs do more harm than good. They feed into toxic masculinity. They feed into patriarchy, and long term, they harm us all as a society and as individuals.
Finally, we all need to confront our femmephobia in whatever way it presents itself and in whatever crevices of our existence the last vestiges still lie. A society should stand up for its most vulnerable. You cannot complain about your larger society maltreating you and then marginalize members of your own society. Show some fucking balls and lead by example.
Effeminate men will not disappear from the earth because society says so. It is who they are. Now, get your ass off the couch and be a fucking ally. The world won’t end because we stood up for our own. Quite the opposite actually; our community will be better for it.
Written by Vhagar
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19 Comments
Gad
November 23, 05:08I have no issue with effeminate guys but I will definitely not want to have anything to do with a John who dresses in Aisha’s clothes,plate,s his hair and wears ear rings. In the same vein, a lady who dresses like a man will never catch my fancy.
On another note, I think effeminate guys are more sexy,coolheaded, loving and adventurous.
Delle
November 23, 11:01“On another note, I think effeminate guys are more sexy,coolheaded, loving and adventurous.”
Highly unnecessary. No one needs such patronizing compliment, definitely not femme guys.
You should read the post again, slowly this time so you comprehend a little better. Take as much time as you want. I’ve come to understand some of us can be really slow.
Mandy
November 23, 17:52What if that John who dresses like Aisha is transgender
Malik
November 23, 20:30There’s no part of the comment that’s necessary. I get the adrenaline rush to be the first to comment, but when all you have to talk about is your personal preferences that are potentially provocative, it’s better to find something else to say. Or use an emoji.
Jay
November 23, 12:01I love this post…..
The sad thing about it all is that; even the gay guys out there will discriminate a fellow gay guy simply bcos he’s effeminate…i mean,its totally wrong.
Foxydevil
November 23, 15:02I can never feel anything for a feminine guy.
Being gay is not just about sexuality to me, it’s also about psychology .
When I want to be with a man, I’d like to be with a man you’d feel would have your back in a fight. Protect you when it’s tough and have enough shoulder to accomdate you, when you cry.
Don’t want no one taking up my shelf to store make ups or someone blabbering about Kim Kardashian or Kylie Jenner when I want to read, rocking a heel and spandex and doing the Beyonce fingers.
At the end of the day, you can’t change anyone’s nature and it will be folly to even try just like you cant change anyone’s preference and it is beyond foolish to even try.
KD must be brimming with them….
Little wonder, why everyone here is catty.
Hyperventilating estrogenic display.
Tsk!
sleek
November 23, 17:24You calling someone else catty?
Even with all that you display on this blog,all the egocentrism that makes you come off as someone with narcissistic personality disorder.
You really should check yourself.
Foxydevil
November 23, 20:44“everyone ”
Did your stupid head Miss it?
Malik
November 23, 20:36This post is obviously not about anyone’s sexual preference. So keep yours to yourself, realize your biases and prejudices against femmes; and repent.
Foxydevil
November 23, 20:50I didn’t read it.
Forgive me if I don’t know what it is about.
I have a lot to do, wasting my time reading another ” tale of anguish and oppression” was not slated on my bucket list.
flame
November 23, 21:20I think regardless of the ‘tone’ of the post. It’s main message was tolerance, accommodation and respect for diversity, not your preference. Of cause everyone has preferences, but that certainly does not justify being insensitive to and making other human beings feel inadequate because they do not fit into ‘our preferences’. Is that not what the ‘LGBT Movement’ is about?
I think we all should learn empathy and also try to understand the various struggles of different members (of the LGBT community.
Grindr was the first expose` I had about the LGBT ‘community’, it felt so toxic (still does). Empathy and Education are a good place to start a conversation.
Foxydevil
November 23, 23:39My best female friend is a prostitute, I take her to the clinic every three months to check her HIV status.
One time she was infected with pubic lice ,I helped her shave and applied an ointment. She stays over at my house sometimes. I’ve told her to quit prostitution a couple of times, but she has only an OND degree, a sick mother in onitsha and five siblings .prostitution gives her more than 30k per week. From there she pays her bills and feeds and have a little extra to send down home.
I’ve squatted with a thief. He stole a mobile phone and was stripped naked and dragged round the street. His father threw him out and he lived with me for three months. Talked him out of his laziness, now he’s a successful tricycle driver and planning to get a new one in 2018 .
I lived with an AIDS patient.
He was at the final stage of death and all he wanted was a little peace and quiet and a little less smell of detergent and fluids. I took him home with me, looked after him for two weeks ,till he crossed peacefully to the other side.
You don’t know the first and last thing about me.
All you know is a pseudonym called foxy ? .
That I can’t date a feminine guy does not mean I can’t be friends with one , hang out or chill.
Or that I will bully ,insult ,harass or avoid.
When I’m in bed with a man, I’d love to feel his muscles, hardness, manliness, his beards ,his strength.
What’s the need of being gay if I’m gonna end up with a body softer than a woman’s ,with no breast or pussy to compliment it. I’d rather bang the real woman and get it over and done with.
I’ve never favoured Chinese products, better an original, than a cheap knock off. ?
Like my father used to say.
“when you want to eat a toad, eat the fattest one, when you are called a toad eater, you’ll affirm ”
I didn’t listen to most of the things the old man said ,but this one found a way to stick.
For those hoping to jump into bed with me, NO CHANCE! ????
Baddest
November 24, 09:21Foxy you be badddo, I can see u re an angel,No doubt God is blessing you because of the people u have showed love and u will always find favor, gay people like to over judge others lol, there is something called preference,we prefer something,once I see femmy traits In some people that is it,I can’t be sexually attracted to such person but if u get sexy and talented like koredo bello then it is different, so please tell ur hAters to shove it off their ass Biko.. we all heave our preferences, I had this str8 jamo guy that really liked one other Trinidad femmy guy, he dropped at home everyday after work, we all worked together many years ago, the str8 jump guy had a kid and baby mama who he lives with, I wanted him so bad and I was jealous because of the way he showed the trini femme guy love, I had no probs with the femme guy but I only wanted full attention of the jammo guy but it was clear the name guy wanted the femmy guy and they might Be doing stuff unlike me in the closet and loving him… so abeg femme guys get people that really like them for who they are and should focus on Those ones lol
Cleo
November 23, 16:16i’d like to get something clear Vhagar, are you coming from the relationship angle or mingling/tolerance angle cos I’ve seen comments that… answer first
Mandy
November 23, 17:49When I think about all the discrimination we perpetuate amongst ourselves, it makes me feel like we kinda deserve not getting equality. Like honestly, how can we expect to be taken seriously, to be showed compassion, when we’re so callously incapable of showing ourselves compassion
Baddest
November 24, 09:09Let me share this, when I was in primary school,I remember some kids usually said I acted like a gal, lemme just call them bullies, I was also told stories that I was in nursery school that I used to beat up even the kids bigger and older, Infact the story was that once I am coming down the stairs,all the other kids run away, I used to bite my teachers in nursery and fight them too maybe I hated school, who puts a 2 year old into a nursery school when he is supposed to be at home playing so I guess my family started beating me more and put so much fear into me which might the reason that I became stammerer and also formed a shell around myself, I have always been emotionally lonely, growing up I liked both gals and boys,I was also abused by both sex,as early as 6 I can remember being on top that red pussy of our neighbor and the warm feeling, I had no biznezz seeing that then, I also went through that when a slightly older female cousin started living with us, somehow my people found out and she was sent back to her family,I remember bumb grinding both gals and boys while growing up, I had the same kind of feeling for both,even though some said I behaved like a gal but I was not like other femmy guys, I never did any gals things nor had any interest in doing those stuffs,maybe I just wasn’t that alpha male,I had a lot of homosexual and heterosexual experience while growing up and I liked both, in fact I almost raped a gal in my js2 and she shouted in my house, I didn’t it was called rape, God saved me sha, anyway I always liked the mirror and sometimes I catwalk and watch myself in the mirror back secondary school so one day after school and after extension classes,everyone has left and I was waiting for our driver, I used that chance to catwalk around the field till one sexy mixed race immediate senior came close and advised me not to walk like a gal again that it is not good blah blah, he spoke to me in a good way and I respected and I did try out my new catwalk which I almost made up my mind to unveil the next day at school.. That part of me died that day, we all have Femmy traits in us,I think God I didn’t become a Rihanna , we had loads of them in our school infact every set, I don’t hate them in anyway but they are not my type of guys, I have never been homophobic to them because of their looks unlike many other closet homophobic guys, I mind my biZ, I thinky life changed after I started maturbating , when I started I was using the thought and image of one gal I fucked way back In our former house to climax, then boom I changed it to this guy I really liked in our set, there were 2 friends and I liked them and I always suspect them, I later did something with one and the other one is still in my WhatsApp but I don’t have any feelings for him anymore.only if he knew that I changed my psychology because of him and I have wanking for years now with the thought of boys,I always wish I can change it back,maybe one day I will sha,boys wasn’t more of an adventure which I enjoyed and I did not get to know more about gals sexually… the only way some people can suspect that I like boys is because most times some fresh boys visit me and I haven’t had a female visitor in my house for years, I know many gals, some even want to come, I am different because I don’t try to impress anybody, I don’t wish for any femmy guy to Man up,they should be happy with themselves if that is what makes them, I am not attracted to femme boys, I don’t chill with them but you see if they have interesting personality like derenle, I will sure hug them in public like I do when I see derenle, the problem is the people that fuck the femmy guys steady in private and run from them in public lol.. I met one boy on Grindr, he came to my house like 3 times to suck my dick and after many months he saw me in a mamaput and came to say hi, I told him I did not remember him oh, he was with someone and I knew he will tell the next person that we did stuffs so I had no choice then to form no knowledge, please people if you have mere link up with someone, don’t go and hollering at them in public to avoid embarrassment, it was just a mere hook up, we didn’t plan to become friends or whatever, if I am not making efforts to notice u or greet u in public hen please have some pride and act like I don’t exist.be rest assured if you are type, both in brain, attitude and physical looks then been we will be friends for life as long as u re not toxic. One guy dat gave me a the rimming of my life and I kept wanting him oh, na so him come change am for me and being dey form for me oh ,nigga was short and ugly oh but can rim and suck for Africa ,he denied me that for years and one day he called me oh and wanted to start remaining me who he was , I knew it was him but omo I told him I cant remember, I know such people can spread gist but it is better to spread the gist that can proved than the one that will make u look like liar … my advice to everyone is to make sure u re not regular,u don’t wanna know how many str8 boys and celebs in bobrisky’s DM, I know this for a fact,they are there cu he is relevant and they want something from him, one thing is that if people want something from u,j can always get something from them if u re a bad boy like me … The str8 boy in my room now pressing computer has said no to many Alhajis and rich boys because he is str8 but guess what I have given him blow jobs even though he is yet to blow me back but has wanked me to heavens, he is hot as fuck with massive dick. Be relevant and even if u want like Beyoncé then nobody will send you or trash talk , Just don’t come to my house abeg lol, I love my femmy guys from afar, we all have our preferences, please don’t change whatever that makes u happy, if u re sure it makes u happy. My people Papa omoisore is engaged, wish him well oh and don’t trash talk him, we all have our life to live.Not every man that likes men wants to live with a man, I don’t see that happening to me… call it what u want,it is your life, I am happier than you,all I need is money money money
Wonda Buoy
November 24, 14:57A New series would have given you more typing space. Interesting though.
Baddest
November 24, 22:49I know right, they can copy and paste sha, it’s funny how i like reading stuffs here but I can’t even send my own stories and adventures . One day I might write about how i went down with one of the Nigerian sexist star obviously before he came big, as long as no one can figure out who I am talking about then I am fine because he knows I am taking the secret to the grave even though we ain’t on speaking terms,I don’t really find him attractive anymore but he is a great person to be friends with tho.
quinn
November 24, 12:53Power to the P*$$y! ✊. This is so true though!