Let’s Discuss…About That Gay Man Called The Top

Let’s Discuss…About That Gay Man Called The Top

The contention between Tops and Bottoms has existed ever since the gender roles of men and women were made to cross over into the universal gaybourhood. The Top is the man. The Bottom is the woman. The Top should take care of the bills. The Bottom should be the housewife. The Top should prove his role by being the dominant one. The Bottom should pipe down and remain submissive.

Ridiculous assertions, if you ask me. But there it is. Gay men actually think and believe these things.

And then, following the scorn some of us have for Versatiles, this infects some gay men’s perception of the Top.

In an online LGBT group I belong to, someone (evidently Bottom) posted the picture below.3484_1130766533600741_2092239289285158744_n

Lol. The shade is pretty much self-explanatory. And in the comments thread, most commenters seemed to enjoy the snarky picture, Tops, Bottoms and Versatiles alike. Following the ‘LOL’s and ‘LMAO’s, there were some comments, which I’ll be representing below with different alphabets representing different commenter.

RB: Come to think about all this role plays et al. Is there really anyone who is purely top that has never tried allowing anything, be it a dick or any other thing inside him?

OM: You’ve not seen the Quintessential Naija active tops na. The ones that will tell you how they can never allow another man to fuck them. Those are the ones I enjoy poking their eyes out with my pitch fork.

JR: It’s just very funny when I hear: ‘No man has ever fucked me.’ It’s just so crazy. But in bed, before you say Jack, their legs will be thrown up in the air

CA: Matter no gree me talk. Some wear the Top Tag like a work ID card. Lmao! One told me he’s a Strong Top…whatever that means.

JR: I’ve heard one say Vibrant Top…

CA: One’s Facebook ID was Top Daniel. As in, dude changed his surname to Top… *tired*

JR: Shey na government job. Isoright, make him start to take salary.

IZ: Lol. What if I tell una say I be Flamboyant Top, una go gree?

WS: But wait let me ask. If I can say that as a Bottom, I’ve never fucked ass, then why do y’all have a problem believing there are Tops who’ve never spread their legs for dick? You guys should camdan abeg. There’s such a thing called preferences. While some Tops may lie about how strict their role is, some others may actually mean it. We really should stop letting our bias blind us to the concept of individuality. Not every Top is a liar.

CA: We are talking about Nigerian Tops. Those ones can lie for Africa! Tops ndii Obodo Oyibo are more straightforward and actually know what they want, but that’s not the case here. Most here are confused.

CA: And yeah, it’s way easier for a Bottom to remain a Bottom than a Top to ever remain a Top. As time goes on, one or two things will make him let go of the cookies…willingly or unwillingly. Either money, work connections, contract, relationship pressures, rape, or sheer curiosity will make the Nigerian Top bend sooner or later.

JR: CA, I can raise leg for you for this comment. Many tops won’t be as sincere as you are.

OM: Choi, see advert. Aunty, raise it high joor…it is allowed.

JR: Hahahahaa.. Mechieonu!

WS: Nigerian Tops? You see that generalisation that’s like a disease with people. You seem to know all Nigerian Tops, eh CA? Well I no get strength to argue this one. Believe what y’all wanna believe. But I’d find it ironic when you react with annoyance when tomorrow’s generalisation is going after you. Shey that’s how last week, the generalisation was that all Anambra TBs are vindictive. Today it’s that all Nigerian Tops are liars. Issorite.

SO: I read the comments that day, all of them. I’m from Anambra and I know I’m not any of those things that they mentioned that day. And I didn’t want to raise my voice. So I let it slide.

CA: One man’s Top is another man’s Bottom… *whistling away*

OM: WS, I can’t speak for all Tops, there may be exceptions. But most of the strict tops I know and have come across have at one point in time, experimented with trying to take a dick. Usually at the early stages of discovery of their sexuality. That’s how they know what works for them. That’s different. Not the ones that can finish twerking on or deep throat a 15 inch cock and lie that they have never taken a finger up their asses.

The conversation goes on and on with opinions tiding this way and that. At some point, it struck me to bring this over here so I can get a take on the view of KDians. So let’s discuss…about that Nigerian Gay Man who’s a Top.


When you're Top AF

When you’re Top AF

Previous Those Headies Awards Moments When Olamide had something to say and Don Jazzy had something else to say
Next Photo: Where is Korede Bello during all this Headies drama?

About author

You might also like

Editor's Desk 46 Comments


I am no lawyer or human rights activist. Heck, I can’t even remember all the human rights there are in existence. What are those rights again? There should be more

Our Stories 18 Comments

The Busola Dakolo in All of Us

BACKSTORY: Busola Dakolo is an alumnus of my secondary school. That was where she was when she first knew Biodun Fatoyinbo. At the time, Busola was a school fellowship leader.

Editor's Desk 6 Comments

Facebook Post Of The Day V

Shade well served. 🙂


  1. ken
    January 02, 06:42 Reply

    Abeggi sexual preferences are just what they are. Whether people lie or not, I think everyone is entitled to whatever makes them more comfortable. If the top suddenly decides to bottom, then it shldnt be a big deal. We are humans afterall – free to make choices whenever we like.

    That said, there are all shades of preferences. There are even bottoms who detest tops who bottom (versatiles). There are also strict bottoms married to women (what I wouldnt give for a glimpse of their rendezvous). Lmao

    • #Chestnut
      January 02, 08:37 Reply

      Everyone IS entitled to whatever they enjoy in bed, but I think it’s d lying that pisses ppl off.
      A friend of mine recently asked my why ppl lie about what they do in bed, I was like, “ok,where’s that question coming from?” and he went on to tell me about how a friend of his brought some new guy to his house. This new guy was an EXTREME body-builder,with the physique and machismo to match. Well, while my friend and his friend were making out in d room, d friend called out to d body-builder guy( who was in the palour) to join, but he declined, so dude told my friend “don’t bother about him jor; he’s a strict top”. Well after they got down and d other guy fell asleep, new guy now tells my friend they should lift some weights (my friend is also into body-building), they worked out and lifted weights…eventually the new guy started “stretching hand” towards him, and told my friend he wanted him to fuck him. I was like “ok, maybe he wanted to experiment…” But my friend said he took d dick in a way most bottoms couldn’t cos most bottoms can’t match his “roughness” in bed, but d body-builder dude was actually an aggressive receiver. Oh,and afterwards,he made my friend promise not to tell d other friend,that he took dick…
      *Amebo mode de-activated*

      • ken
        January 02, 09:07 Reply

        Looool…but really isnt that his own problem. its his body and I think he can choose how and when to use it.

        But really, the only time a person shld be pissed about being lied to is when someone claims to be a top online then wen u finally meet he wants to be bottom. I mean that would be kinda embarassing. But so long as his preference is not affecting u, then his sexual preference shld be his personal business.

        There are some guys that choose when and where to bottom based on their partner or circumstance. There are also some guys who are simply ashamed of being bottom (perhaps from their deep underlying homophobia)

  2. johnny
    January 02, 06:56 Reply

    Some Tops that love BBC, they can do anything to have it
    The 1st guy I met my life, claims top but I didn’t allow him coz he was too bitchy, I have this friendship like thingy for bitchy guys. Later I heard he is MAMA for his area.

    • Kenny
      January 02, 07:00 Reply

      You didn’t allow him cos he was too bitchy? I’ll just let that bitchy part slide. But u really think effeminate guys can’t be tops? And stereotypes such as this usually comes from the bottoms.

    • Max 2.0
      January 02, 09:39 Reply

      So in your twisted opinion, he wasnt man enough for you?
      Some times I think some gay men deserve the bad things that happen to them.

  3. Kenny
    January 02, 06:57 Reply

    Until people stop seeing being a bottom as being less of a man, issues like this will continue to abound. So what? He’s a top but has been fucked before, who cares?

  4. Kenny
    January 02, 07:02 Reply

    That’s how you’ll tell some people you’re versatile and they’ll say you’re a bottom in denial.

    • Pink Panther
      January 02, 07:03 Reply

      That part irritates the hell out of me. I mean, seriously, warrisdat? You tell someone your preference, and the someone decides to interpret it for you.

  5. Alves
    January 02, 07:09 Reply

    People want what they want. Just like the colours of the rainbow, there is a part that overlaps with other colours, and a part that stands alone.

  6. Dennis Macaulay
    January 02, 07:32 Reply

    I avoid this conversation because most times it leads to stupidity! I don’t have a problem with roles as long as it remains preference but my problem usually is these things don’t often remain in the bedroom.

    Roles are assigned along lines of gender archetypes and then the stereotypes of gender are brought in where a full grown man will tell you to “pay for the beer na, aren’t you the man”? Or a man will ask you to cook and clean for him because you are his bottom.

    Then there is what I call “top privilege” which is an offshoot of male privilege where a guy believes he is superior to his partner because he is top and his partner is bottom. This is why a few guys are reluctant to admit they are bottoms while the “Tops” wear it like a badge of honor because let’s face it in the gayborhood, tops are deemed superior and in shorter supply which is why my brother in the ministry here would use the expression “Top quality tops” lol!

    I was arguing with a few friends just yesterday about promiscuity and being a hoe and how those expressions are rarely used on tops, it is bottoms that are regarded as hoes and you hear expressions like “all of mushin don fuck that one”.

    We really should stop doing these Things!

    • Francis
      January 02, 07:58 Reply

      Village mentality. ???? Sometimes na the tops/bottoms wey dey perpetuate this mess I blame.

    • Peak
      January 02, 09:38 Reply

      You see that social and economic implications of identify to a sexual role or preference, is the problem I have with a particular crop of ppl (yeah, I am being stereotypical right now). Particularly the economic implication. Just because you align urself to a specific role, doesn’t mean I am suppose to pick up ur bills. As for social implications, I still haven’t met a bottom who fits or does all things I always read here. Most of the bottoms I have met don’t fit into the domestic stereotypes. They are like any other man out there, strong willed, egotistic, impossible to deal with and generally do they please.

  7. S A N
    January 02, 07:41 Reply

    Bottoms are extinct. 95% of the persons you’ll encounter these days are either tops or versatile. People are now changing their roles to reflect some kind of strength i don’t even have the patience to go into. Sex and sexuality is fluid, nothing is exactly cast in stone. Enjoy sex the way you enjoy and be proud of it. There are a million more ways to show masculinity if that’s your thing.

      • Max 2.0
        January 02, 09:52 Reply

        Not to Pinky… Sex isn’t fluid..
        *side eyes*

    • Mr. Fingers
      January 02, 08:45 Reply

      “enjoy sex the way u enjoy it…”


      Gay people make life difficult for themselves at times, u can’t even tell ur self the truth abt what u want.

      Telling ur friends u are strictly top and secretly swallowing the biggest dick in town.

    • KingBey
      January 04, 03:01 Reply

      You’re right ! You hardly see anyone admitting to being a Bottom nowadays…..most times, all you get to see is Versatile whereas the person is actually a Bottom. Ngwanu, Versatile, fuck me back, mba……Lol

  8. lawal
    January 02, 07:59 Reply

    All this going back and forth just because of the tag someone has put on himself ehn.

    A same-sex relationship is supposed to be free of all these yeye flexing of muscle and superiority divide. Even heterosexual relationships are looking to achieve this but the gayborhood is looking more and more like the old husband and wife relationship. Smh

    I remember being shamed once for ‘traveling from my pocket just to get fucked’. I argued that I was seeking pleasure and I did get the pleasure tbh but no, this guy won’t lemme, “you pay for sex only when you’re topping”. I didn’t even pay for sex, I just paid for transport.

    While I agree that a little honesty will be nice on the so called top’s part, the real problem stems from guys seeing bottoms as less of a man.

    Personally, I don’t care if a top has bottomed before, I’m not in the business of trying to be a Shrink on everybody, trying to know them more than they do themselves. If I’m in a relationship with you, you got to be versatile but if we just wanna have fun, I take your role as you say it is.
    Anyways, I’m one of those who just believe the best of people.

    • johnny
      January 02, 08:57 Reply

      There was a guy like that, who thought he was using my friend as a top, always coming to eat and drink not know he is the one been used by my sex addict friend

    • Peak
      January 02, 09:02 Reply

      “traveling from my pocket just to get fucked” lol, this is just funny.

      I cringe everytime I hear my straight friends brag about how they “fucked” a girl just to water their evergreen egos. I don’t pass up on the opportunity to call them to order either. Sex is usually between 2 “consenting” individuals, who come together to FUCK EACH OTHER!
      I just want to coil into a ball of misery when MEN toe the same line by going, ” I fucked him, he use to fuck me, he use to fuck my friend”. Its painful to watch grown men, marginalise themselves or allow themselves be marginalised by members of the same group. Its sex, Y’all fucked each other. Stop making urself a footstool to some else’s ego.

  9. Peak
    January 02, 08:23 Reply

    Am I the only one who in summary felt the above exchange inferred that once you take a dick, then you are weak? Need I remind us all that the “most pronounced” common denominator with homosexuals is the D? We are all Dick lovers whether we openly admit is or not. Last I checked women have butt holes too. So enought with this BS about about one being superior to the other on the premise of who loves the D.

    I think we are all responsible for promoting this stereotypical nonsense. I don’t see anyone raising dust that bottoms don’t make attempts to top. A top can bottom and still retain his integrity as a top with a little or no dent on his amour. A bottoms usually don’t bother with “topping” activities, and when they do, there are seen as “wannabes”. Its a twisted circle of sexual politics and we are all responsible for it’s furtherance.

    WS and OM are clearly the men with functional brains, and the CA character?? I just can’t!
    That CA character is just giving me Chestnut vibes.

    • #Chestnut
      January 02, 08:40 Reply

      @Peak: “Chestnut vibes” kwa? Don’t allow d devil to use u this new year o!

      • Peak
        January 02, 09:22 Reply

        Lol, bhet, you sef look at it now, the CA guy was serving Chestnut’s signature blueberry “messy” muffins. Not that i said it was you…he was just giving me ur typa vibe.

        Happy new to you mebor-mebor **bear hug**

        • #Chestnut
          January 02, 09:51 Reply

          @Peak: hehehe…dis new year,I’ll try not to be too messy. Happy new year to u too,luv *mwah*

    • Lawal
      January 02, 08:47 Reply

      Well Spoken Peak.

      We need to stop seeing being a top or bottom as fixed positions assigned by God and therefore mutually exclusive.

    • Dickson Clement
      January 02, 09:48 Reply

      Being top or bottom should refer to what excites an individual during sexual activity. If the strict top takes a sedative and passes out, then someone takes the cookie, does that make him bottom? No! Same for the bottom, if someone were to grind on his wood, does that make him ‘top’?

  10. Masked Man
    January 02, 08:23 Reply

    The tattoo in the last photo sha.

    I hardly find people identify as bottoms these days. People are either tops, or versatile.

    Shit is crazy.

  11. keredim
    January 02, 08:24 Reply

    Not sure what all the drama is for?

    You state your preferences.

    You hook up

    You fuck or get fucked

    You have a shower and move on to the next one.??

    Extending this sexual role thing outside the bedroom, is economic hardship, nothing else.

    • Masked Man
      January 02, 08:36 Reply


      Keredim, you are just a lot to handle.

    • Duke
      January 02, 09:33 Reply

      God bless you keredim. I wish people can have the chance to leave the Nigerian gay scene and all its palaver. Here it is whambamboomboompow and you are out the door. Ever since I left Naija, I have been confident to say I am a Vers top. No questions asked, no judgments, no wahala. Just hit and go. All this drama is so annoying to even read, pushing me back to the dark ages I so happily left behind. Heck, many profiles here on gay apps have Vers guys on top demand!

      • ambivalentone
        January 02, 10:16 Reply

        It is d lie B4 the hook-up that is the annoying factor here sah. You state you are confident to put up ‘verse-top’ on ur profile. If dey like ur market, good..If not, na to wait for customer. But the Naija gay scene tho. The fear of rejection and the ‘my market MUST sell this year’ mentality. I also think an overbloated sense of self (A Naija thing) is responsible. I’m just tired.

      • Keredim
        January 02, 11:37 Reply

        That is KD for you Duke. The gift that keeps giving..?

  12. bruno
    January 02, 09:03 Reply

    you can claim what you like really. as long as you’re good at what you do, it’s fine.

  13. Delle
    January 02, 09:12 Reply

    Firstly, top, bottom or versatile are sexual preferences that should (mark the word ‘should’) begin and end on that comfy, well-made mattress. Being top, bottom or versatile doesn’t apply when buying food at a restaurant, going shopping together, and what have you except of course courtesy is playing the lead. I feel if the ‘top’ guy is the one who decided to take you out, then leave the paycheck for him, if not, what’s that thing that’d make you sit there looking like a moron expecting your food/shopped items to be paid for you? The fact that on bed I’m passive is the more reason why I’d want to show you how independent of myself I am when we both go out.
    Not all bottoms are submissive sef. I like to think the word ‘submissive’ applies to bondage sex only, you could say bottoms are passive but then again, I’ve heard of ‘power bottoms’. Everything has a tag, all have names…that’s why we confuse ourselves.

    Personally, I don’t think there’s any gay man who hasn’t tried something up his ass, even down to our vegetables. It’s one thing to say u are top and you don’t receive dick and another to say you are top and have NEVER had anything up your ass…now, that’s just a blatant lie! Many a times, it’s the horrible incident these so-called tops may have had that would make them never want to receive dick again.

    Now, unlike what a commenter in the entry said, I don’t think there’s a gay foreign man that identifies as either bottom or top, many if not all, are versatiles. I think it’s even a criterion to get married over there.

    • Keredim
      January 02, 09:49 Reply

      Well said Delle. Until..

      “don’t think there’s a gay foreign man that identifies as either bottom or top, many if not all, are versatiles….”

      They identify as Top or bottom or versatile. And they largely stick to their advertised roles. No hang ups…

  14. Max 2.0
    January 02, 09:35 Reply

    Another post about Tops and Bottoms again?? This same stupid label that is part of the problem we have in the community?? MBA!!! Not today..
    *U turn.*

  15. Duke
    January 02, 09:39 Reply

    And that shit about extending roles outside the bedroom… Arrgh! The things I want to say but my conscience is holding me back. So, cos I bottomed for you, I will now be washing your clothes and shit. Arrgh!!! Or It will now be my duty to be cooking and serving you! God! That will be the day! The D must really be so good to scatter my cognition.

  16. Jamie
    January 02, 09:41 Reply

    This made me remember that ugly first relationship of mine!!! If only he’d remembered early enough!!!
    Anyway, I think that, even though a lot of people tend to lie about their sexual preferences, chemistry plays a huge role in what one wants to do with another… One may be ”STRICTLY TOP”, but after a good, well-flavoured pre-sex romance, they’d be willing to open up their legs for the Versatile and try some adventure!!! LOL… But if you’re lying, even though it is your right to have privacy, it’s your partner’s right to decide who to get down with, so he/she deserves the truth!!
    Talking about truth, I never wish to be in the shoes of these MGM’s wives shaa… If only the homophobes knew what they do!!!

  17. Oluwadamilare Okoro
    January 02, 09:42 Reply

    Gay Roles. I guess it should be obvious now that I don’t like roles or the stereotypes that come with them!

    This topic will never rest. As long as some people believe that other people are lying to them… As long as some people believe that one role is superior to another… #sigh

  18. Mitch
    January 02, 09:47 Reply

    Are we still on this over-beaten topic? Seriously? When would Nigerian Gay men realize that one’s sexual preference is just that, a PREFERENCE! Why do we always have to bring hetero-normativity into gay affairs? We are GAY for fuck’s sake!

    We know sexuality is fluid. In the same vein, preferences are fluid. I’m a bottom and I forever will be one, no matter the number of asses I fuck (which is impossible seeing how I’m totally clueless around any hole that ain’t a mouth). In the same vein, if a top decides to experiment with taking a D up his ass, it doesn’t change the fact he is top. The only time that changes is if he is versatile but claims to be top (which BTW is something I stilll find wierd AF).

    Kere once said something about the idiocies in our gay community stemming from the fact that we are first Nigerian, then gay. That is the pure truth since “Nigerian” has come to mean having shit for brains, being a misogynistic bigot, being a confoundedly stupid homophobe or just being a waste of space and oxygen! Though there are exceptions, I’m beginning to find that they are few and far between.

  19. Timi LEO
    January 02, 10:33 Reply

    To me I would say sex roles are just matter of choice,

  20. Francis
    January 02, 10:41 Reply

    Still waiting on those wey dey commit these acts to come and take their matter. ???☕

  21. Chizzie
    January 02, 10:59 Reply

    I think this role thing is more than who takes the dick and who doesn’t. I’ve assumed the penetrative role before but I still identify as bottom. If a top has taken a dick up his ass before or even several times then that shouldn’t make him less of a top.

    For me a top is anyone who assumes a dominant role in the bedroom when two guys are involved. He isn’t the one that pays the bills, or gives you money. He should get the lube however as that’s his jurisdiction, but ultimately if he can send a bottom to cloud nine and back then he has earned his role as a top.

    Anal sex is very tricky. It can either be very painful or very pleasurable, and i feel this is where roles come to play when gay sex is involved.

    A true Top has mastered the art of anal penetration such that it is pleasurable for both parties

    And a true Bottom has mastered the art of receptive sex such that it doesn’t become messy and he enjoys it as well

    Its basically what a person is good at doing more! If I am good at receiving dick and enjoy it more then I have every right to call myself a bottom regardless of whether I have penetrated a guy or not and vice versa for tops

    I don’t care if my top takes dick up his ass, actually I prefer guys that aren’t afraid to have things stray up there from time to time as that’s one area I like to fiddle with, all that matters is that he can fuck.

    • Francis
      January 02, 12:16 Reply

      So lube is the top’s priority just as women are not supposed to carry condoms abi?

      • Brian Collins
        January 02, 20:02 Reply

        Any body that tells me not to carry condom and lubes is a liar from the pit of hell. O mua, abeg o. Before someone will now tell me, ehn no condom o and it is already late.

  22. chalant
    January 02, 11:00 Reply

    long story ,av met pure bottom,to whom the thought of ass repulses them,have also met versatile tops who claim to be pure top,hiding under the role romance.

    really dnt get the biggie here am top am top,av given hand jobs before and rarely rarely give blow job,except ma victims really needs it.

    I thing remains, I don’t get the fuss about dick, I keep thinking “nigga cum so imma wipe this shit off”, “what da fuck do bottoms love about dicks” “dude don’t cum on moi abeg” etc. total no attraction to dick,not to talk off near my ass, mention it da kind beating imma feel like giving the person .

    #pure top,no grey preference ,I also don’t believe in versatility “that’s me” ,when ever I hear versitle I think “his ashamed of been called bottom”, when I hear romance as a preference I think ” gay bottom, ”

    #some dudes r actually tops,some bottom ,some versatile.

    • Peak
      January 02, 12:05 Reply

      Victims? *sigh* not today, just not today. The year is still relatively fresh to jump off the handle, so no!

    • Kenny
      January 02, 12:39 Reply

      Why then do you have sex with men them @ Chalant? You have deeply rooted issues you have to work on asap. People like Chalant are the ‘gay’ men who end up ‘kitoing’ other gay men! *spits

    • Max 2.0
      January 02, 12:56 Reply

      “except ma victims really needs it”

      @Charlatan, you’re the type of gay dude that every gay man MUST avoid. You have all the qualities–

      *High handed

    • Mitch
      January 02, 13:00 Reply

      Now here’s a “Nigerian”! Confoundedly stupid!

    • keredim
      January 02, 13:39 Reply

      una try sef.

      I read it twice, all the street talk,” tryna b hip shit” confused the shit outta me.

      As it stands, I am not sure if he is gay sef, nevermind his role

    • Baby
      January 02, 17:21 Reply

      Victim, Really??? People like you should be sex starved. I blame the people that find you sexually appealing in the first place. Rubbish…

    • Brian Collins
      January 02, 20:18 Reply

      Oh lawd, I think I may know who chalant is? I met someone over a year ago and I saved his name as Obnoxious Fowl on my WhatsApp when he started telling me some of the stuff chalant is saying now. I only changed his name to his real name after about Six months of knowing him and seing that he needed education. I couldn’t get through to him though. He also thinks being gay is a game and he sometimes tries to sound hip too.

      • Francis
        January 02, 20:28 Reply

        ???? Obnoxious Fowl? Umu KD sha.

      • Terra
        January 04, 12:44 Reply

        As much as it would take to kill him tbh

    • Williams
      January 02, 13:44 Reply

      Haloperidol, ECT please and castration.You need your testicles excised.That’s the cure for all that smelly ego/preferences

  23. chalant
    January 02, 14:15 Reply

    bitchea abeg #safe, am not saying my view or ideology is right,neither do I see a bottom as inferior “had that issue with my ex he believes the top is the man n bottoms need to be taken care off like a woman” I don’t, a man is a man to me “if I want a woman I know where to find em”. that’s da way I take mean no disrespect jor, da way I see it doesn’t have to be,” is my fada Bruce almighty “my point is #some dudes are tops,some bottoms, some verse.not all dude av attraction to a phallus/dick ,I dont. I use da word victim cause I believe sex to be a sort of game,game of dominating, anticipation, the wait, the guessing etc, to me imma hunter, that’s just me,I believe in dominanting when it comes to sex,taking the lead,and yes av met bottoms who dont like been dominanted ” FYI the sex was boring”,have met bottoms who loves been dominated. submission doesn’t make one a woman”I hate it when a bottom think of himself as a woman,bias my total dis attraction to effeminate dudes”my dick won’t even move for an effeminate nigga not to talk of triggering my imagination, I love my men as men and nothing is as exciting as dominanting a dude “one of the reasons I prefer a nigga not been gay,totally not giving me the gay vibe, give me the tendencies not the gay vibe”.

    sex is an individual thing,we all like it a certain way,there is no correct way to have sex,what works for yhu wud disgust me,verse versal.

    yea and as for been kito,if yhu meet me in person that the first thing that would shot through yhur mind,I get asked that question a lot,if am gay ,by answer has always been ” let me show yhu”.

    #mehn yhu’ll shud chill and dont go bottom crazy on me.

    • Somebody
      January 02, 16:09 Reply

      A lot of things are wrong with your write-up but I’ll start with the most obvious one – your horrible grammar.

      1. Please why are you using comma as a space indicator? I’ll give you the benefit of doubt and say maybe the space button on your Nokia Asha isn’t working.

      2. Your desperate need to sound “hip” and “cool” is a tad nauseating. This is the reason people who smoke weed shouldn’t use the internet. I get why people use shortforms but you took it to another level.

      3. Weren’t you taught punctuation or the use of capital letters in school?

      4. I like the fact you actually spilled this vile on a platform like KD at least I’m sure the likes of Max, DM, Chizzie etc can educate you with or without insulting you first(I can’t guarantee anything).

      5. Please don’t write a comment and make 1000 grammatical errors and then say “pardon da mistake jor”. It doesn’t work like that.

      Lastly, you really need to work on yourself and your view of life. Internalized homophobia (as much as i hate to say it) isn’t even the main issue you have. From ego to downright stupidity… *sigh* . Happy New Year.
      PS-Fix it Jesus!!

      • Keredim
        January 02, 16:37 Reply

        Oh Lawd???

    • Baby
      January 02, 17:33 Reply

      Verse versal indeed… Mtcheew… I now understand the depth of your pitiable wisdom.

    • Baby
      January 02, 17:50 Reply

      So my 1kobo on the issue at hand… Virtually everyone have spoken my mind here and I must confess, ya’ll are very mind-blowingly brilliant(permit me, I have poetic liscence) excluding those vomiting rubbish for comments. So a friend of mine that I usually flirt with asked me out and I told him I don’t do relationships adding that I prefer being friends with him while being honest about the fact that I will not be faithful in a relationship… And his comment was hilarious… “Tops should rather be the ones flirting not bottoms… Cos they are like the wives, they should always keep themselves for their boyfriends…” I had to use some months to teach him practical lessons about dominating with a sound ideology and he was calling and begging that he is at my service and would do whatever pleased me.. People just need to be educated and exposed. I have friends that are tops that wouldn’t dare insult me even though they are older… It’s all about understanding who you are and what you stand for. Role play is just for the bedroom. Outside the bedroom, I show you how ideologically superior I am to you if that is the case of course…

      Good to be though. Luv ya’ll except for those saying non-sense…

  24. Timi LEO
    January 02, 16:35 Reply

    @Chalant… Please can u elaborate what you mean by “victim” because personally I don’t get it… And i cast out every spirit of internal homophobia in you.. #smh

  25. Dickson Clement
    January 02, 17:25 Reply

    Good lahd! * Rolls eyes and shakes head in sargasm* @ Chalant you make me laugh. I recommend a real self evaluation for you. Guy you are gay. Homosexual, incredible masculine Homo! Get acquainted with that semantic. It will do u some good! Lol! But the thick masculine vibe am getting from you got me all flirty!!

  26. isi_zifa
    January 02, 21:53 Reply

    Good evening Pinky. I am a calm effeminate guy who is pure bottom, and I read through all the comments on this article. It made me laugh a lot and also think a lot too. There are really a lot of us who have only bottomed all our life because that is what we only understand how to do best,I also agree that there should be no stereotypes in the gay community. people should be allowed to make their sexual preference. But a times we on the effeminate side do want more. I like to call it, a certain level of protection, I for one would nt mind cooking for my man or washing his clothes. It doesn’t make me less of man, its just how I have always wanted things. We want a man who is protective, someone who has a stronger male presence but at the same time loves you every inch of the way. He respects you and fights for you. He believes in you, prays with you and most importantly is willing to build a home with you. Lol…..it doesn’t mean I am weak, its just one of the ways I want to show he means a lot to me….by the way, I would pay the bills and get him a car if he needs one

    • Pink Panther
      January 03, 05:16 Reply

      Kai, isi_zifa, in this modern age of feminism, why will you goan be thinking these things na? lol 🙂

      • Francis
        January 03, 07:45 Reply

        According to wetin I learn recently this one na another version of feminism. Knowing what you want, going after it and not apologizing for it….as long as you are not enforcing it on others. Do your thing and allow others do theirs ?

      • Isi_zifa
        January 03, 09:40 Reply

        Lmho….I don’t know ooooooo…..I think its just thoughts I have built up in my head for a long time. I sort of grew up like that..
        …I did something like that for my 1st boyfriend, and I never regretted it….after him I never met anyone else like him. His family moved back to somewhere in Europe, and he had to go too. Maybe its too much fairytale endings and books.

  27. chalant
    January 02, 23:11 Reply

    @somebody, yhu gay and I get the need to sound classy,intelligent and rich.lol this an online forum pple air their views,not a jamb center,yhur no bodies English professor, that’s da way I choose to write, cause thats da way I am in person, okay yhu classier than me “are yhu satisfied”, yhu more intelligent ” abeg let me hear word”, infact yhur an high class bitch by all definition “are yhu through”. all this shit does it make yhu feel better. niggas are airing there views in a chat format not English 101 or English literature, yhur looking for punctuation mark and diction in a forum,were pple chat as friends” take hand guy”. quit deceiving yhurselve, yhu understood what I wrote and meant to pass out soundly “that’s communication not gramma”, am not out to impress anybody and I dont do drama. broh I just say it as I feel.

    #seriously internalized homophobia, is that the only grammar you guys know, when a view goes against yhur,which by read alone majority of views aired on this forum are bottom inclined, once a view differ yhu’ll scream internalized homophobia. dude am in love with been a man, am in love with digging men, its not even a fact I hide in my immediate environment, am gay or am not gay, am still gonna feel n think a certain way ,cause am inclined too ,yhu still gonna be yhu.

    #fyi,I ain’t educated nor intelligent, in fact yhu fit enough to be my professor, fire on

    #asin jamb marking on a forum, mehn.

    • Somebody
      January 02, 23:43 Reply

      So, it seems my corrections didn’t help and please those were just suggestions I don’t see why you want to cry. Online forum or not, me being desperate to sound classy or not, the bottom line is that you have bad grammar!! Your views, albeit f*cked up, immature, irrational and embarrassingly stupid, are your views. I don’t understand why someone writes arrant nonsense and gets corrected, then the next thing is for the person to get all defensive using the freedom of speech as an excuse to talk trash. *sigh*
      PS-I was not looking for punctuation marks, I just didn’t see any in the right places. I was just seeing commas, apostrophes and something else scattered on my phone screen. So, naturally my Grammar Nazi personá was activated.
      Oh and there is nothing like dominanted or dominanting or “an high class bitch” (lol you taught I was done with you). You talk about communication but I was very confused there. If this is how you speak in real life… Well I’ll be damned if didn’t correct you every five seconds and please the fact you “ain’t educated or intelligent” shouldn’t be an excuse.

      BTW bottom inclined?? Seriously?? Seriously?? *sigh*

    • Stranger
      January 03, 16:14 Reply

      Dude, you should comment more often, I actually like how you type.

      • Somebody
        January 03, 16:32 Reply

        I’m an avid follower of this blog but hardly ever comment except in Deola’s corner (I’m a TV Geek) but challant’s comment had to draw me out. Stranger I’ll try to comment more but don’t hold your breath.

  28. peaches
    January 03, 01:12 Reply

    Homophobic tops nko?… so i was cornered by this guy, dark and boxy like blackberry passport, huge, but cant speak english, let alone dress aright yet there he was in front of me leering like a cow. me,am a tall lady, fear didnt catch me cos it will take more than one of him to wear me serious kito, because this guy has been a hater since my primary school days. But here he was tonyt, grinning from ear to ear telling me he knows am gay, he saw me with a friend whom he happens to know and how we shld make out sometime. Repulsion made me say “sorry, i dnt do boys” and made to walk off, this pikin grab my arm pleading, “give me a chance, you fit top me if u want”, of course i put up my nicki smile n sashayed myself away. i laughed and then frowned at that fellow wanting to bend for kpanla aunty like me, obviously for money, but bad still. so i texted my frnd to confam and pam!, they both sex bfore, and the fellow charged 6k and took his boot. That to me was no man biko, bfore they meet spoil sontin.

    • peaches
      January 03, 01:24 Reply

      i forgot to add that my repulsion was peppered by the fact that that guy hated me when we were growing up in the hood, but hunger n desperation makes him a nightcrawler to his vomit. yet in the day he wld walk past you like a lord, *bites finger* God haff catch him this time.

  29. Timi LEO
    January 03, 03:08 Reply

    Lol…. trap yaff catch d hunter…kikikikiki

  30. KingBey
    January 04, 03:35 Reply

    I don’t care whatever role again. I just need a true love this 2016. Someone I can trust and do other stuffs aside sex with. Someone I can bring home and who can stand by me in thick and thin. Lord pls answer my prayer as your child is not getting any younger. I don’t want to grow old single. ???

  31. chalant
    January 04, 04:03 Reply

    after typing an entire paragraph,
    I just realized some things.

    #why da fuck am typing
    #what am still doing here
    #bitch safe abeg.

  32. chalant
    January 04, 04:07 Reply

    @ someone, more grease to yhur elbow,continue.

  33. Baby
    January 07, 18:11 Reply

    Lolz… Seriously, you’re in the wrong place. I wonder why it took you a decade to figure that out…

    Bye Chalant.

  34. Adrian
    March 06, 20:13 Reply

    In this day an age, the fact that some men still identify with these limiting positions that stem out of heterosexual gender roles, is too absurd for words.
    There is something both sad as well as pathetic to men who give up the use of their manhood and call themselves “bottoms”, and to men who chose to ignore the fact that they have a Prostate, the single most sensitive spot in the human male body, and that they are attracted to men, and men have dicks, calling themselves “tops”.
    While the straight world is moving towards a gender equitable direction, at least here in the West, with women taking more active role in their sex lives and many many straight guys enjoying being fingerfucked or dildoed, there are still these relics in the gay world that hang onto these archaic clownish roles.
    The good news (for me) is that according to my elderly friends, these labels used to be extremely widespread in the 50s-80s, but as the society became more progressive, and gay rights have advanced, especially in the past 15 years or so these roles have dwindled to insignificance. According to my older wise gay friends, these roles used to be a reflection of a homophobic society. And I think they are right. Sexual “preferences” are unlike sexual orientation, they are not fixed, nor are they inborn. There is nothing about a “top” that makes him one, it all comes down to early socialisation and gender role identity in a polarised society.
    Luckily in my generation here is western-Europe I hardly meet anyone who is not versatile. Unless they belong to an ethnic minority that hails from a regressive culture. I’ve met a few Muslim men here in London who were convinced that they are not even gay, because “they don’t get fucked”. An almost demented identity. but its not at all surprising since all of them come from countries that still punish homosexuality, severely, and they are extremely gender polarised and misogynistic.

Leave a Reply