FOR AJ

One of my main attractions to the male human species has always been body. Give me a fit, not-too-bulked-up bodied man with broad shoulders, that body that I can run my hands through all night – and I might just confess all my sins to him already. So, it wasn’t the name “AJ” that caught my eye as I scrolled through the numerous thirsty and annoying profiles on hornet. AJ had the body of a god, one you could worship and bow down to while wishing things would be done to you. Immediately I saw the picture attached to the profile, I opened it and immediately typed, “Please come and ruin my life,” sending it along with a crying emoji. I simply had to let this stranger know that I meant my words and would actually let him ruin my life.

All notification sounds on my phone are loud, so there is almost no way I’d miss any message that comes into my phone except it is either off or I am in another realm. When this particular hornet message came in, I thought it was one of the numerous unsolicited limp dick pics that white men send to me or the upcoming fraudsters that didn’t finish learning yahoo-yahoo in 419 school, before coming to your DM to say they are looking for sugar babies to be giving monthly allowance to.

Then I checked out the message and it was from AJ. I was instantly happy to see that I’d gotten a reply from him. It read: “Okay. Your profile name got me for a minute there though, lol.” The name on my profile is “fat ass”, and AJ said one of the reasons it caught his attention was because it was different, eye-catching, and after opening and reading my message, he just knew he had to reply.

We soon began talking, that day and for many days after. He said he was pansexual. It quickly began to feel like we’d known each other for ages, as we were very chatty and open with each other. I found myself having conversations with him that I wouldn’t normally have with strangers on the internet, and it was bliss. I would make it part of my daily routine to log on to my hornet just to chat with AJ, and every day, we talked more and the conversations were almost unending before we had to say goodbye to return to our individual days.

One day, during our chat, AJ suggested we moved to WhatsApp or telegram, and I was immediately hit by a sudden fear of losing him. Because, of course, transferring conversations to WhatsApp is where communication goes to die. It is there that either the chats lose steam or you both simply turn to status viewers. With some trepidation, I gave AJ my phone number, telling him to promise me that no matter what happens, we wouldn’t lose the touch and flow we had on hornet.

Our interaction was more than two weeks old when I realised that neither one of us knew what the other looked like. All this time, I’d been chatting with someone whose body was all I knew about his appearance. Omo! This one that I was already liking this person and we were vibing, what if he doesn’t pass the picture test or he isn’t attracted to me and everything just goes south? I think this was what held me back from pushing for us to exchange pictures; because I had gotten to really like this guy and I was nervous that exchanging pictures would change everything.

But then, I had to know. So, one day, I asked him why he hadn’t asked me for my pictures. He said that he wasn’t too big on looks or physical appearance. Ha! There are still men like this on this rainbow universe? I told him it was same for me and I was actually looking forward to seeing him in person.

I was wrong. WhatsApp didn’t kill our connection. In fact, over there, we dialed things up by sexting each other, talking dirty and promising things. Of course I had to know his capabilities and sexual range, because no be only fine body we go chop abeg. He said he was not really a big fan of penetrative sex. Not to say that he couldn’t fuck the ass or wouldn’t if there was a need for it; he just much preferred kissing and foreplay. Me sef, I kuku sabi kiss, so may the best kisser win. I told him things I liked being done to my body and how I liked my men to handle me in bed. He asked if my ass was really as fat as my hornet profile said, and I was tempted to send him a picture confirming that this bitch tells no lies, but I wanted to keep him in suspense of what he was to expect. So I merely answered, “Yes, it is.”

I liked this man.

God help me, because the chemistry between me and AJ had gotten to that level where I imagined my future with him by my side.

On this particular day, we were chatting about a friend of mine who invited me to his birthday party later in the week, and jokingly, I asked him if he would want to come with me. He promptly said yes. I think I panicked a little; the reality of us finally meeting had suddenly crystallized. Wanting to dissuade him, I told him the party would most likely be a queer affair, since the celebrant is a gay man, and he said he didn’t mind. He later added that he might change his mind at the last minute and that I shouldn’t be angry if he does that. I assured him I wouldn’t take any offense. We went on to talk about clothes and our outfits for the party, and joked about how we would run away from the party together if we weren’t feeling it, and just end up at either my place or his for the night.

I really liked this man.

The next day, our discussion was about gym, how long he had been attending and how I’d just started going to the gym. And then, without any prompting, I found myself going through my gallery and selecting some of my best pictures and sending them to him. I sent a voice note together with the pictures telling him that I was nervous that I might not pass the picture test, so I would just put out my phone’s network and then come back later to meet his response or message on the picture. I returned to the chat later to a few messages from him. He was amused by my message and said that I had one of the best smiles he’d ever seen. He’d also sent his pictures; he wasn’t a typically fine boy, but he was gorgeous still. You know those people whose good looks don’t hit you at first, but it is just there and you see it after a second look and you are like, omo this person is actually fine. Immediately I saw his full head of hair and full-bearded face in the pictures, all I could think of was how I wanted to touch them and run my hands through them while lying on his bare sculpted chest.

For someone who likes to define whatever I have with guys so I don’t get lost and so I can avoid stories that touch, I didn’t know what AJ and I had, and it didn’t bother me.

I just really liked the man.

So, one morning as usual after my gym exercise, I called AJ on the phone. And this was when things took a turn that I didn’t see coming. I called several times and my calls were not answered. When I got home, I messaged him on WhatsApp and there was no response. Our last chat was the previous night, when we said good night to each other, promising that we’d talk again the next day. Him being this MIA was unusual, but I didn’t overthink it; he was most likely still sleeping or busy.

But I was in for the shock of my life.

Written by Lanrey