HIS KITO STORY (EDITION 20)
I’ve been an avid reader of this blog for quite some time now, although I’ve never commented, primarily because I’m not really a ‘community’ person. My main draw here is the kito stories. These stories reinforce in my mind the thought that gay people are really having it hard out here. When friends of mine talk about their kito experiences, I always keep silent, because in my mind, their stories make me contemplate my funny-yet-not-so-funny kito story.
I was 14 and in SS3, in a private secondary school in Port Harcourt. For the most part of my life, I’ve always known I am gay. I was a little effeminate. Okay, not little – a LOT effeminate. Oh, and I was really fat and really dark. In those days, I had no idea what a toner was. (lol)
So as you’ve probably guessed, I was constantly bullied and made fun of. My secondary school life was quite simply horrific and terrible; absolutely no fond memories there.
I had no friends, and I knew nothing about being gay. (This was like 2008, and there was no ‘Glee’ then) The closest thing I had then to a gay representation was Andrew Van De Kamp, the gay son on Desperate Housewives.
My secondary school was a day school. So my life was basically from the classroom back home. The driver always picked me up. I was sort of an overly-protected child. We were not rich, but my parents would go limbless rather than see their children not receive the best. And for this, I sought to pay them back by being one of the best students in school, always coming home with the best grades. As if my life in school wasn’t already miserable, my academic brilliance gave everyone another reason to hate me.
My family stayed in Borokiri then. And there was this guy (There’s always a guy). He was about twenty. My drive home usually took me past his house. And almost every time, I’d find him sitting outside and staring idly at the human and vehicular traffic passing by.
I found him attractive. And one day, I mined the courage to wave at him as the driver steered the car past him. He waved back. The response made me very excited. Our waving continued for weeks, and then one day, he made a gesture with his hands, signaling for me to come back to see him. I was a bit discouraged, because getting back to him would be a problem; my parents didn’t let us go out because the neighbourhood was quite ghetto.
But the Fates must have wanted my meet with the guy to happen, because when I got home, I met only my elder cousin at home. I told her I wanted to run a little errand outside, to buy credit to call my mother with, that it was an emergency. She nodded her okay.
The trek back to the guy’s house was about twenty minutes long. I got there and he said hey. I couldn’t even talk. He proceeded to ask me my name and details. Instinctually, perhaps driven by years of distrust in the humanity of people around me, I lied to him about my name. I told him my name was John. He told me his name was Ebi.
As he spoke to me, I couldn’t believe what was happening. This guy was so hot, like hotter than the Sahara, and there I was, a fat kid (real fat), and black and just anyhow and really just a mess. And he was talking to me. We had an irrelevant discussion. Then he took my number. And I went back home. When he called, I wanted to faint. It was the good old midnight call, and we chatted until 3am, mostly inane stuff.
Fast forward to six weeks later, on a sweet Saturday evening, I received a message from him: ‘Can you come to my house?’ My parents were not around, so of course, yes, I could certainly go to his house. I put on my slippers, a shirt, and my shorts – in that order. And I got stepping.
I got to his house. This was the first time I would be entering inside his house. In all the time we’d been getting acquainted, we always stood outside.
Inside his bedroom, we talked for about thirty minutes. And the next thing I knew, he leaned over and kissed me. I was instantly enraptured. My body was set ablaze by the touch of his lips. This was my first gay kiss – well, my first kiss really. And I was over the moon. He proceeded to tell me that he liked me very much, and that he wanted to have sex with me.
Okay, what is sex again? I thought to myself. Hmm sex. I was reluctant. My first sexual encounter was when I was seven, with a neighbourhood little girl. It was a ‘mummy and daddy’ game gone wrong, and it was a mess, and I was laughing all through.
Ebi began to pull off all my clothes, and soon, I was stark naked and very erect before him. Then he told me to give him a minute, that he was going to lock the parlour door. He left and closed the bedroom door behind him. I was too dazed with desire that I didn’t find it curious that he left the room with my clothes. Then I heard a click – of the bedroom door getting locked.
And through the door, his next words were: “Come, small gay, wetin be that your name again? Your own don finish today!”
My heart turned to stone as I stared in shock at the door. Subconsciously, I found myself being grateful that he hadn’t called me a fag though. Amazingly though, I didn’t freak out. I kept quiet and began looking around the room as he raged on. He paused to make a few calls to his cronies, telling them he had captured a “small gay” and that they should come over and that one of them should bring his camera phone.
As he was making his calls, I saw his clothes and calmly squeezed my fat frame into a shirt and shorts that marginally fit me. I was very calm. My heart was beating fast, but in the process was pumping a stream of icy water through my veins. I’d been bullied my whole life, for being fat, for being effeminate, and for being smart. But I wasn’t about to let myself be bullied for being gay. Never. I would not cry. I would not fret.
When Ebi noticed that everywhere was awfully quiet, he started shouting, “Come, small gay, you don die?” And then he unlocked the door and opened it.
That was my chance. Like a fat ballerina, I ran forward and slammed into him with all my weight the moment he opened the door. He fell to the ground, and before he could stand, I was in the parlour. But the wicked beast had locked the door and the metal burglary proof. He was laughing as he came after me, saying, “Where you dey run go?” I looked at the window; it was one of those sliding windows, and it was not open. Till today, I do not know what possessed me to do what I did. In a split second, I lifted myself clean off my feet and propelled my body toward the window. I crashed through, glass flying everywhere and fell on the ground on the other side. I was now outside, and without looking to see if I’d sustained any injuries, I ran for the gate, while he struggled to open the door. He couldn’t open the door fast enough, so he made for the window, yelling at his dog to get me.
Of course, the dog came galloping for me, barking furiously. I turned back and first saw his face at the window, and then the dog. And in that moment, I felt like I was staring at two devils. I didn’t run from the dog. Anger and hate were pounding through my veins too much for me to run. Instead I waited until the animal was close to me, and I let fly with my leg, giving it a savage kick upside the head. It promptly fell to the ground, and began writhing and whining in pain.
Then I fled from the house. Luckily, bikes were still a thing in Port Harcourt then. I hopped on the first one I saw and made my way home. It was when I was changing into my own clothes that I realised that my phone was not with me. I couldn’t remember if I’d had it with me and it fell when I took my giant leap through the window or if they’d been with my clothes that he seized. However, it was locked with a code and I was ready to let it go. The highest penalty for the loss would be my dad shouting and frowning at me for the next one week.
Then I looked into the mirror in my room. I stared at my fat nerdy self, and I said to myself: “No, no, no…” I wasn’t going to let that be. So I wrapped Ebi’s clothes in a bag. I came out of my house, hopped on another bike and went back to his house.
On getting there, I saw about five people, all guys in their late teens and early twenties, standing around before the house. There was no flinch to my body and no fear in my eyes as I walked up to him and handed him his clothes, and told him I wanted my phone back. At first, he stared me, surprised by my audacity. When he made as though to slap me, I told him he should try it, and he would go to jail that night. That was an empty threat, but my acting was splendid, and he couldn’t call my bluff. So instead of striking me, he began shouting, “Small fag, small fag…” and saying he would kill me and nothing would happen.
An elderly woman who was passing by stopped to ask what was going on. I dived in first with my story, about how I was merely walking past and these guys stopped me, harassed me and took my phone. Outraged, she began shouting at them, demanded for the phone, and handed it to me once Ebi relinquished it to her. In the next second, I was on yet another bike (thank God for bikes) and headed straight to my house.
That year, I graduated from secondary school and gained admission to the university to study Law. By the time I came home for my first vacation, we had moved out of that area. Six years later, now aged twenty-one, a barrister and solicitor of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, hot, fierce and taking no bullshit from anyone, with a hot career and a hot boyfriend, I decided to drive down to Borokiri. To Ebi’s house.
I got there, and to my surprise, he was sitting outside, the same man who’d been twenty, sitting outside his house and watching idly as the traffic went by. He didn’t even recognise me when I said hi. I stared at him and began wishing for a number of things. I wished I’d told him I was that fat, black boy who he’d tried to victimize. I wished he’d heard me out and then told me how sorry he was, and how he was just stupid and young, and that all he wanted was the phone and some money because he was broke. I wished I’d laughed and told him how my life was too successful and busy for me to dwell on the past.
I wished all these had happened as I got back into my car and drove away from him.
Written by Brit Labeija
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118 Comments
Santa Diaba
August 20, 06:32????? Yassss!!!!!
Mike Daemon
August 20, 06:42Love, Love, Love it, but now that you are a ‘successful Lawyer’ you really need to start making noise about why that law is unfair to us, because if we don’t make the noise, nobody will make it for us, else you will be unable to marry that your ‘hot guy’ here, or rather he’ll be unable to marry you here.
#TeamKizito
August 20, 06:48Awww!
Britney, awwn. Lol.
#Chestnut
August 20, 07:05Hahahaha! I love this story! So funny and so brave! You were the real MVP. So,that stupid Ebi is still sitting in front of his house and looking for fourteen year old boys to…what exactly was he planning to do to u sef?kidnap/extortion?anyway,he’s still exactly where ppl like him are supposed to be. Lmao…I died at “like a fat ballerina”!
Masked Man
August 20, 07:06Britney Labeoko,
This was amazingly. Fat kid pulling off kung-fu stunt even in the face of danger. That’s super incredible. And now, look what you’ve become. How very nice.
Well done.
#TeamKizito
August 20, 07:48Yels. It is amazingly. 🙂
Masked Man
August 20, 10:29Shut up.
Brian Collins
August 20, 22:17Kizito darling.
Eugene
August 20, 07:15Hahahaha! I love you, Labeija. I knew it was gon be a “good” story the second I saw the photo of that grinning man up there.
obatala
August 20, 07:17. I put on my slippers , a shirt , and my shorts – in that order.
I really loved this part of your story.
.
I have always tried to do this but my footwear always gets stuck so I have to take it off.
#TeamKizito
August 20, 07:47Hmmm.
Peak
August 20, 08:46Forgive me @Obatala, if I didn’t know better, I would say u were throwing shade with ur ” i put on my slippers , a shirt , and my shorts – in that order. I really loved this part of your story.”.
I read that part of the story again to be really sure and only found “.As he was making his calls, I saw his clothes and calmly squeezed my fat frame into a shirt and shorts that marginally fit me. ”
This is a positive story, what’s the point in trying to take away from it?
For the sake of those who don’t know, u can wear a slippers then “shorts” afterwards. Shorts! not trousers. unless u are a extra tight shorts wearing man, I think its quite possible.
Like I said, I’m not sure if u were trying to throw shade. If not, pardon my rant, but if u were, #WeakShade.
Jason
August 20, 07:36Out of all the kito stories I’ve read so far this has to be the less traumatising. The rest always ended horrific. I am a Namibian, a friend send the link to this blog a month ago and I’ve been an avid reader since then. I love the kito stories because we do stupid stuff that could get us in danger because we are all seeking for love and validation. There is barely any blog or postings about kito stories in Namibia so I find this blog informative.
Pink Panther
August 20, 07:48Welcome Jason, and thanks for your readership.
kacee
August 20, 08:39Welcome jason,i’m PP’s younger sister.
JArch
August 20, 10:24And am that amazing extra sexy cousin abi
***looking at Kacee one kain***
kacee
August 20, 13:10Lol
Jason
August 20, 09:28Thanks PP for the warm welcome.
Masked Man
August 20, 10:31Welcome Jason, I’ll show you around town in Pink City.
Khaleesi
August 20, 11:09Hi Jason, its good to have you!! Always a pleasure to have non – Nigerians here, pls do feel very comfortable in our gaybourhood and do bring your friends along, we cant wait to hear your stories ***big wet kiss***
PS: If there’s any of our local slang or usage that you dont understand, please please feel free to ask and we’ll clarify .. muah!
Max
August 20, 16:37Hey Jason.. I’m PP’s crazy ass bestie..**side eyes all other basic besties of PP**
Welcome. Cant wait to get a story from you..we wanna know how you guys survive there.
Brian Collins
August 20, 22:21Biko nu, when did Max start whoring for stories for PP? #ThisIsNotRhetorical
Pink Panther
August 21, 03:17Hahahahahahaa. Brian, shey you know you’re now looking for trouble, eh?
lluvmua
August 20, 08:03hallelujah……. that’s indeed the meaning of the phrase “having the last laugh” lmaoooooo….. nice story dear
Sinnex
August 20, 08:10Now this is beautiful.
Some people are funny sha…a 14 year old!
Guy, if I was in your position I would have walked up to him oooo…
HAPPYGUY
August 20, 08:14Sounded like an action movie… Nice and brave…
Khaleesi
August 20, 08:26Wow! For once the gay man is not the helpless vulnerable victim! This story gave me so much joy! I can almost see Ebi’s life unfold before us all; he’s about 27 now, he probably has a kid or two with zero career or business prospects;in a few years time, he’ll be well into his 30s totally unemployable and hard to train in any skill or business. He’ll spend his days sitting idly in front of his father’s house with a heart full of bitterness and hate, meanwhile he’ll have a few more kids perhaps make things more permanent with one of his numerous women and then proceed to breed like a pair of rabbits and thereby perpetuating the hard-to-break cycle of grinding poverty. You see; a lot of them kito wearers are nothing but opportunistic criminals and thugs who frequently end up like most criminals do: full of regret! ***tongue out @Ebi and all his fellow kito wearers***
Pink Panther
August 20, 08:46Hahahahahahahaa!!! Khaleesi, you paint a vivid delicious picture.
Max
August 20, 16:39Hahahahaga Khaleesi. You’re such a joy.
Such a grim picture of the young man
kacee
August 20, 08:43*claps* i love your story Brit Labeija
i can’t believe you went back to take your phone omg, that took a lot of courage wow. You just made my day boo boo.
Masked Man
August 20, 10:34Hi Kacee.
kacee
August 20, 17:04MM i have missed u so much *crying*
Temi Cole
August 20, 08:43Lol @ fat ballerina! Great stuff… your triumph brought so much joy!
Tobby
August 20, 08:56I like this one!.
Well done, fatty ^__^
Peak
August 20, 09:09Ladies and Gentlemen, this right here, is how you show u are a BB (Boss Bitch)
The most inspiring thing about this story, isn’t just how he escaped/survived then went on to triumph in life, but how he channel all his insecurities and flaws and used it as a spring board to fight his way out of the situation and go on to be the best he could be presently, flaw and all. For that my friend, I salute you, I salute u courage.
I swear this played out like an action flick in my mind. An action film that did not just entertain but did well to educate its audience as well.
BTW brit-brit how’s that toner working out for ya? (Lol, sorry i just couldn’t resist)
Lothario
August 20, 11:08Lol…… I was going to ask the same thing. The toner must have worked wonders.
Keredim
August 20, 09:13Wow… That felt like Bond series meets desperate housewives via Taken 1-3.
“The name is Bond, Joan Bond.”
Diablo
August 20, 09:32Keredim, the bloke in your avatar, is that you?
Keredim
August 20, 10:17No Diablo,it’s a pic I cropped from the Internet. Why?
Masked Man
August 20, 10:45What else, someborri is horny.
Keredim
August 20, 10:51MM, he can’t be horny. He is happily married and “serviced” on the regular at home.
Masked Man
August 20, 11:01Ah!
I see.
Such servicing that you get as marriage benefits.
Mmh, ndi marriage. Daalu nu.
Keredim
August 20, 12:58Now now MM, don’t hate, congratulate.
Masked Man
August 20, 14:10No hate, Keredim. No hate.
Just couldn’t relate.
Tiercel de Claron
August 20, 13:01The “married” state is one I’d recommend for you,seeing as you’re perpetually horned as an he-goat
Keredim
August 20, 13:44Slut shaming again are we, Señorita De Claron?
Tiercel de Claron
August 20, 13:48In this case,tis the very thing he needs
Tiercel de Claron
August 20, 22:38Btw Kere,it’s Seigneur de Claron
Masked Man
August 20, 14:08Clarissa,
Call me he-goat or perpetual hoe, it’s really your business not mine. Says a whole lot about you than I.
Bye Clara!!!
Keredim
August 20, 14:19Bia MM, Is there some sort of sexual tension between you and TdC? Almost like a hook up that went wrong and now you both are blaming each other.
Please both of you get a room and resolve the issue Kia- kia
Masked Man
August 20, 14:28Keredim, are you fucking kidding me?
Me and TDC? Sexual tension?
Oh Pls, the man will bore me to depression with his uprightness.
Keredim
August 20, 15:02MM, sometimes they are the best. When they unleash that “uprightness”, it’s up down, up down, up down, move all around….it’s like that destiny’s child song “Lose my breath” mixed with Lionel Ritchie’s “All night long”
Imagine a young hunky soldier leaving for battle not knowing when or if ever he will get some again….OH LAWD!!!!
No, you both NEED to get a room I swear.
Masked Man
August 20, 15:17Lol,
Keredim,
You know what I meant.
Leave aunty Clarissa alone oh.
Tiercel de Claron
August 20, 22:34First I’ve been called upright,says quite a lot about the degree of your hoe-ness.
Btw,you wouldn’t be bored.You’ll come back begging for more.
Oliver Twist-style
Diablo
August 20, 11:59Smh
Max
August 20, 16:47Lmao, @MM, you need a wax figure of Trey songs and a 12 inch dildo/vibrator strapped on it. I don’t think any human can quench your thirst.
kacee
August 20, 17:08Lol, and this is the Max i know and miss.
ambivalentone
August 20, 09:23Wow!!! First, if u are Yoruba, u’d know ‘Ebi’ means ‘hunger’ and wouldn’t av anything to do with him but it all turned out good. But HE initiated d kiss na. All of a sudden u are ‘little gay’. Your ‘chi’ dinnor go to the market dt day. I imagine the reason he is still at his father’s house is cos father had two choices. Fix the glass OR send him to school. I bet we all know what popsie chose…lol I’d give ANYTHING to know the story he cooked up to tell how the window broke tho. The only casualty in this story is the dog. Poor doggie 🙁
Diablo
August 20, 09:30This is the best Kito story i have read!! I laughed so hard especially the part where you kicked the dog. Lol! The best form of revenge is to be successful, oh and losing some weight and toning also helps too! Hateful people are unhappy and frustrated people, and that’s why they remain stagnant. Which probably explains why homophobic ppl are often poor and struggling, unexposed and unable to feed sufficiently.
Lol can we be friends? I think you’re so badass.
KingBey
August 20, 09:44Where did you get this theory about homophobic people from? All the homophobes in my family are the most successful ones ooo. I don’t see the relationship between being rich and homophobic.
Masked Man
August 20, 11:04Abeg help me ask him.
Khaleesi
August 20, 11:15@Kingbey, i think what he’s trying to say is that the kind of homophobes who sit and plan kito events for helpless gays are usually poor and with no prospects. The rich homophobes in your family are likely too busy making money and too polished to sit and plot how a kito wearing event … #MajorDifference
Mandy
August 20, 09:51Diablo, perhaps you should ammend it to homophobic people who actively seek to victimize gay people are the ones who are poor, struggling and unexposed. When you focus your time on being a predator, nothing else in your life can be working out well.
Diablo
August 20, 11:58Thanks that’s what i meant 🙂
KingBey
August 20, 09:40All these you did at 14? O dikwa egwu ! And I thought the minimum age for Nigerian University education is 16? Issorait ! *continues stirring oatmeal*
Mandy
August 20, 09:46Seriously? You’re shading his story becos of his age? Just becos you weren’t capable of such courage at 14 doesn’t mean you should denigrate those who actually are.
ambivalentone
August 20, 12:33I hope you are stirring sugar into that bitterness. I wonder when an age limit has ever bin enforced or stopped anyone from being promoted or punished.
Brian Collins
August 20, 22:34KingBey, me like you wellas o, i wouldn’t like to give you a ‘Tef-reply’. I have a friend who finishes school at 15 & got into Bowen the same yr. Was a graduate by 19+. Finished youth service and went for his Masters. He is 23 now and is working.
I just believe that anyone who lies like some people do here will probably be exposed somehow. Lets not always look for things that might look like discrepancies in every story.
King Mufasa
August 20, 09:55Dear writer,
There is nothing wrong with being dark skinned.
By the way, your balls are admirable.
Lothario
August 20, 11:10You were 14 in 2008? It’s official…. I’m old!
Tiercel de Claron
August 20, 13:05Hahahaha.
Where would you place the likes of us then?
kacee
August 20, 17:11Chai papa’s lol
JOJOARMANI
August 20, 11:56Uh acted all that brave coz u were just 14… u take actions without thinking of what the outcome would look like…
u just know ur gay. u don’t know what it is to be Gay and Nigerian!…
Nice read.
Rev; Hot
August 20, 12:43Best. Kito. Story. Ever!!!!!!
I couldn’t help but laugh………
There’s nothing better than the feeling of proving people wrong and overcoming presuppositions.
iamcoy
August 20, 13:31You kicked the dog?
AMAZEBALLS!!
Keredim
August 20, 15:11Nna meh, leave that thing. The shit was serious!!! Rambo would have been envious..
Oluwadamilare Okoro
August 20, 16:14Great piece. Very inspiring.
I was about to be surprised that there was no mention of “internalized homophobia” in the comment section till I noticed someone is MIA.
The Ebi guy actually initiated the kiss … He is probably gay and fighting with that our dear popular phrase.
And sitting outside staring idly in front of his father’s house six years after …. Oluwatobiloba!!!
Max
August 20, 16:51Hello to you too
Francis
August 20, 17:03He doesn’t necessarily have to be gay. abi all the straight men wey dey play gay for Hollywood na closet cases?
Some niggas are just mega desperate
Keredim
August 20, 17:28Thank you ojare Doc Francis. Tell am
Max
August 20, 16:31Hahahaha hahahahahahaha.. The part about laying on the bed naked..lmfao.
I love this. I want more stories like this.
Fun read.
Francis
August 20, 16:44Thanks for sharing Brit. This really put a smile on face and reminded me of those few days when adrenaline got the best of me and made me confront my bullies all the while being aware say na die get me. Lol. Funny enough after each encounter they usually calmed down. Lol.
Really exciting piece 😀
chuck
August 20, 17:15Another kito situation where people are rushing into things. Going after strangers at 14? Beyond homosexuality y’all have plenty issues
Francis
August 20, 17:31Angel Gabriel arrives! Ha. wait oh, na so Gad take vanish abi he don join legion of KD observers?
Keredim
August 20, 17:32Haba Chuck, was the last sentence necessary?
chuck
August 20, 18:20Hi Keredim,
The decision making across the kito victims is similar. Why do they rush into sexual situations with victims?Why are they so unwilling to blame their captors? What’s the rationale?
Also who’s Angel Gabriel?
keredim
August 20, 19:21Yes I agree, the stories are kinda monotonous (bar this action packed one) and the trigger is the same lack of self control. But this happens when raging hormones meets a forbidden act. In most cases it is due to being young and naive and being lured into a comfortable position.
That doesn’t mean the kito victims have issues beyond their homosexuality. (And i am not going to read you for implying that homosexuality is an “issue”).
You have not mentioned that the villains spend time grooming their victims and winning their confidence. This is what con-artists do.
Regarding Angel Gabriel. Francis was alluding to Gad and his right wing puritanical views.(Remember him?)
Somehow, Francis is beginning to see the Gad in you.
Pink Panther
August 20, 20:35Beautiful comment, keredim.
Francis
August 20, 21:37LOL. Keredim I’m not seeing anything oh. Na my mention of Angel Gabriel remind me of Gad
keredim
August 20, 21:42Doctor, I beg go write prescription (or a song) lol
Chuck
August 20, 21:59Lack of self – control is an issue, in my opinion. a 14 year old is a minor and should not be fucking strangers who are much older.
Of course the kito culprits should be punished – but their victims are always reluctant to help track down the culprits. I don’t know why that is.
Could you explain why you think my views are right -wing? As far as I know avoiding sex as a minor is not related to economic distribution.
Francis
August 20, 22:18You act as though you’ve never done anything ridiculous in your life before. We are humans and bound to fuck up royally at some point in life. The koko is learning from those fuck ups and avoiding them in the future.
I’m grateful to God for all my fuckups as I’ve learnt a lot from them
Brian Collins
August 20, 22:42But all these self righteous pricks sef, i hope they know that when the trumpets sounds they will still go to hell with all the other self righteous pricks. #iSMH
keredim
August 20, 22:27Chuck,
1) Yes, a 14 year old is minor….LEGALLY, but not Biologically. And ain’t no law gonna quell them hormones.
2) You don’t know why Kito victims are reluctant to help track down culprits? May I respectfully ask which country you reside in?
3) Right-wing view. Your comment about 14 year old being a minor is a bit right wing. Such views do not have to made in an economic setting to be right wing
(I also said Puritanical – not sure why you didn’t pick that up)
chuck
August 21, 01:491. I think that the law gets the minority age right, and that it’s fair to prevent minors from fuckibg older people. Minors are vulnerable. Are you for legalising/ decriminalising sex with minors? If so I’d like to hear your thoughts.
2. There are ways to divulge numbers, locations, Facebook profiles etc without divulging your own identity. The victims haven’t said they are not doing it because they fear retaliation: they’ve often said they’ve moved on. That’s what surprises me. If someone assaulted me I would want punishment even after I moved on.
3. I am sure we are not using right wing to mean the same thing. I do not believe in religions so I do not hold religious views (puritanical or otherwise). Historically left wing governments(socialist, social democratic, etc) have championed minority and child protections, so I’d have to ask you to clarify what you mean by right wing.
chuck
August 21, 02:27For Francis and Brian,
I’ve come across your sentiments before. The short answer is that I do not believe that an action is proper because it happens often. Many people fuck up. But a fuck up is still, by it’s very name, a fuckup.
I don’t believe in Christianity so heaven/hell aren’t real. Good luck.
I have the high road – I did not fuck strange adults as a minor. I don’t rush to fuck strangers. But expecting only people who, like me, have not fucked up, to be the only ones that can talk about fuckups is wrong. It’s an ad hominem fallacy. Judge arguments on the strengths of their claims, premises, and supporting evidence.
Francis
August 21, 05:52No one here is endorsing fuckups or peadophilia. You just dey turn matter upside down unnecessarily. Nna best of luck living in your cloud where everyone is supposed to be above fuckups.
Reminds of me of an episode of I Am Cait where awon long time transgenders confronted Caitlyn due to her rigid views that sex work should never be any option. The world isn’t black and white at all.
Pink Panther
August 21, 03:24‘The victims haven’t said they are not doing it because they fear retaliation: they’ve often said they’ve moved on. That’s what surprises me. If someone assaulted me I would want punishment even after I moved on.’
Different people with different temperaments. Not everyone is built to avenge a wrongdoing. Some people just want to move on and put said ugliness behind them. Surely, you’re advanced enough to know that.
Keredim
August 21, 06:39Chuck.
1) I am not endorsing under aged sex. I am saying (and I think most people picked up on it) at that age the average child is sexually curious and tends to go out and experiment. We all had urges at that age and most of us fooled around to various degrees. Yes it was illegal but we did it and if we got caught we were not hauled off to jail.
2) I asked you respectfully to tell me where you live? You didn’t answer. If sounds to me that you don’t live in Nigeria or sometimes you come across as not being on this planet.
3) right wing = “conservative” “traditionalist”
4) you need to chilax. Like Francis said, not everything is black or white. Have some empathy.
Chuck
August 21, 06:57I live in Lagos. I’d assumed the question was rhetorical, since it involved references to living in clouds or on inhabitable planets.
If you think the action was wrong too, then why do you disagree with me for calling it out? I don’t defend myself when I do things that I know are wrong. This might be a lifestyle difference, if so I guess we are just living by different rules.
As PP quoted, I’ve been empathetic. I’ve put myself in the shoes of the victims. I know what I would do in these situations. It would involve taking (anonymous, discreet) steps to get the kitoers punished.
P.S. PP you can’t have it both ways – either we can say what we would do differently or we do not recognize that people approach these issues differently. people are either different and can say what would be different for them, or we are all judged by the same rules.
Finally, I guess all “progressive” ideas eventually become conservative. It would be interesting to sketch out where the line is these days.
keredim
August 21, 08:21Chuck if you read my comments carefully I called you out on your LAST sentence about Kito victims having other issues other than homosexuality.
That sentence in my opinion, is not “progressive”. It is repressive. You may not have religious beliefs but there was some pontification and disdain in that sentence. This is why I took umbrage.
chuck
August 21, 12:58That sentence was poorly worded. I meant: y’all have plenty issues that go beyond the effects of being gay in a hostile environment
Max
August 21, 17:09Oh and @Chuk, do you have a boyfriend in your life right now?
I could really use a non-hoe in my life right now, since I seem to be surrounded with only only them. And its depressing as hell, knowing you might just be the last of your kind, an endangered specie. I agree with everything you said.
But sometimes, you, like me may come off as too holistic, which prevents people from seeing the real truth and sense in what you’re saying. So, please know how to make amends. If anyone ever attempts to Kito me, I’ll become their worst nightmare. I often wonder why Kito victims mostly turn to cowards afterwards. Its highly infuriating.
We deserve each other.. Anytime you need my contact, you know what to do..
Max
August 21, 16:57Hahahahahahahahahaha..lmfao We have a new angel on the block.. His name is #AngelChuk
Cc: Pink panther
Subject:- Take note
sensei
August 20, 20:21Omg! Awesome!
MacArdry
August 20, 23:00More of such stories,abeg.Not the sob stories that were being served before.
*Been a while I was here,taking back Mac and burying Sian*
Hello Max.
Pink Panther
August 21, 03:22Lol. Oh look, its Max’s nemesis return to life. 🙂
MacArdry
August 21, 06:56Shush Pinky,I come in peace
Pink Panther
August 21, 08:03Are you sure, eh Mac? *eyeing u one kain one kain*
Max
August 21, 17:10PP, don’t start what you can’t finish
Kester
August 21, 00:58All the laughter I saved for Christmas has been spent. Wow what a great piece. Rare courage, rarer calm and innovativeness in the face of storm. You took all the bullying you received and channeled it into getting free. I am so happy for you. The comments tho, it is very true that people who spend time planning on how to bring others down rarely go up in life. I laughed so hard at what some people think has happened to ebi. I know an ebi in borokiri who fits this description and of course he is tattered hustler in his 30 ‘s with no skill except binge smoking on weed and other things. Because of some semblance of fine face and body he has he’s being fucked for pay btw N500-N1500 sometimes for free. Maybe it’s the same person I know I’m wishing it is he. Oh my goodness I need to make calls and confirm this Pronto bye!!!!!!!
sinnex
August 21, 09:53Kai! Amebo no good oooo.
Anyway, I hope you make your findings known to the house. This Ebi seems like someone I would like to meet. Except maybe for the fact that he is above 30…yuck!
Brian Collins
August 21, 10:59Sinnex, i know you are not planning to go the TEF way. Street love is not for you.
Max
August 21, 17:15Oh Brian, he’s so into street love. Rough looking dudes. He’s a potential Kito victim.
He loves them rugged.. Someone who can pluck his Cherry right.
Anyone who loves those kind of people is playing with fire.
The most internalized homophobes I’ve met are people with those features.
Roman
August 24, 01:49Yassssss Labeija, absolutely amazing story.
Stranger
August 26, 03:05I loved this piece. I empathized so much with the writer. Lovely details. This was brilliant, cheers brother!!
ION: I really like this Francis guy.
Swiss
December 05, 22:50okay Kim..
George Grey
June 13, 20:50Amazing story!