HOW LONG SHOULD SEX LAST?
Originally published on madamenoire.com
*
‘90s R&B songs will have you out here thinking that having a healthy sex life means hours upon hours of nonstop, back-breaking sex that spans from the evening to the wee hours of the morning. Real life, however, will have you toss out those unrealistic expectations with the quickness.
In a recent episode of The Real, the panel weighed in on how long they believe that sex should last. The conversation was based on a survey conducted by Penn State Erie researchers Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani on 50 members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research. Participants included psychologists, physicians, social workers, marriage/family therapists and nurses “who have collectively seen thousands of patients over several decades.” According to their findings, people found one to two minutes of sex to be too short. Three to seven minutes of sex was considered adequate. Seven to thirteen minutes of sex was voted to be desirable and ten to thirty minutes of sex was considered to be too long.
“A man’s or woman’s interpretation of his or her sexual functioning as well as [their] partners rely on personal beliefs developed in part from society’s messages, formal and informal,” the researchers said. “Unfortunately, today’s popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity. Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy model of large penises, rock-hard erections, and all-night-long intercourse.”
The results of the survey sparked an interesting debate on The Real panel. While Adrienne Bailon felt that twenty to thirty minutes of sex—foreplay included—was fairly average, Jeanie Mai was here for the five-minute wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sessions. Lonnie Love said that she would be down to go two brief rounds if it isn’t a work night, while Tamera Mowry expressed that she enjoys “lovemaking” that wrap after about fifteen minutes—excluding foreplay.
Obviously, the answer to this question comes down to personal preference, but generally speaking, how long do you believe sex should last?
And because I’m posing this question to KDians, of course I mean ‘gay sex’. 🙂 Do sound off in the comments section.
About author
You might also like
THE NEW YEAR, THE RESOLUTION
Happy New Year, everyone. Welcome to the year 2016. The past year has really been an interesting one for the KD community as we’ve grown in leaps and bounds. The
Why won’t Game of Thrones give LGBT characters a break?
Originally published in independent.co.uk *This piece contains spoilers for Game of Thrones Season Seven, Episode Two* As it so often does, Sunday night’s Game of Thrones left me screaming at
A Medley Of Opinions About Love And Relationship In The Nigerian Gay Community
So, a couple of days ago, I posted my response to a friend who wanted some answers about love and relationships. Before I arrived at my response, I brought the
60 Comments
Mandy
October 08, 06:06Sex should last as long or as short as you and your partner have time for, but this clearly depends on soooo many factors, individually! First, age. As perhaps a university student, sex can go on for-ev-er, like there isn’t anything else in life to do. Dehydrated, dry, delirious, nodding off and waking back up again, all of it. Esp. if it was a holiday break!
But as a grown-ass person with responsibilities and obligations, that just seems pointless and punitive lol. With jobs, schedules, and MUCH better skill, and esp. if you’re in a long-term relationship, 10-30min seems about right (including foreplay). Additionally, I’m more a fan of multiple short sessions vs one long one. I’m saying, take a power nap and come back renewed!
Arabian Princess
October 08, 07:24Really, University Students have nothing else in life to do? Such stereotype!!! What century do u live in?
And only grown-ass people have responsibilities? Chaiii. I haf die oo
Brian Collins
October 08, 08:12Don’t mind him let him come to FUTO and other Universities i’m sure, and see all sorts of respondibilities students have to take up.
Mandy, you go school at all? #AskingForArabianPrincess’PeaceOfMind.
Mandy
October 08, 08:16Lol. Hian! Did you have to take me so literally? Ok no vex. I didn’t mean to generalize.
Danish
October 08, 06:19Seeing as I have no experience on the issue (Yes!!! I am a late bloomer on the gay scene). I will wait upon the sexologists in the house to give details.
In case you were wondering, I just wanted to make a comment.
Mitch
October 08, 06:39Probably 20 minutes to 1 hour. That’s my practical limit
#Chestnut
October 08, 06:58Your head is there Mitch! Wetin person wan derive from 13 minutes? Is it a pop-quiz?hian!…hehehe *runs away*
papasmurf
October 08, 07:31@ Mitch 1hour?!!!! JESU!!! I hope the dude don’t come back for a repeat performance again dat nite! My anal walls couldn’t withstand d abuse.
I’m more of d 30minutes kinda guy.
Oh! And foreplay is a MUST!
Nothn screams mechanical sex than a guy who can’t even play ur body like a finely tunes musical instrument, nd then make BEAUTIFUL music with you.
Pink Panther
October 08, 07:41Preach, papasmurf! PREACH! 😀
Brian Collins
October 08, 07:43If we wanna get down to penetrative sex for me 10-15 mins should be the max. For sex with someone with good chemistry or that you absolutely adore and the feeling is mutual, like Bae or potential bae, could just take as long as all night long with short breaks inbetween. The foreplay could take forever especially when everything is reciprocated. From the kissing to exploring each others bodies, to the blow jobs, to rimming (although when i am in this zone i personally like to leave the dick for last so as not to exicte my partner too much) then the actual fucking. Before you know it, it’s the break of dawn.
pete
October 08, 07:47No time frame. Be focused on giving & receiving pleasure.
Dennis Macaulay
October 08, 07:50**wears glasses to read comments**
KingBey
October 08, 15:17Nobe small thing
Ace
October 08, 08:01I am a big fan of foreplay. Sometimes, foreplay is all I need and that can last as long as we both can go. Penetrative sex should be the climax of a great foreplay and that shouldn’t go beyond 20 minutes.
Pink Panther
October 08, 08:13LOL. Ever had in your bed the dude who won’t do the foreplay?
Duke (formerly Ace)
October 08, 08:34Yeah. His number and all forms of contact disappeared from my life.
Pink Panther
October 08, 09:07Hahahahahahahahahahaaa!!!
Brian Collins
October 08, 14:57Pls don’t change your name. I am still secretly vexing for Ambivalentone, now you?
ambivalentone
October 08, 15:23Haba!!! Pinky gave us all options na. No vex.
Anyways, length of a session is dependent on the dick size, how much lube is available, and how well he is communicating his passion…and so many innumerable exogenous factors. But I think I prefer the multiple short sessions.
Sinnex
October 08, 08:24I know sex shouldn’t last up to two hours. How can someone keep going and going and going for up to 2 hours without any sign of cumming? Na wa oooo…
Pink Panther
October 08, 08:33Ah my dear, you’ve obviously not met those legendary for not cumming on time. They’ll keep plundering your ass as though trying to discover the lost island of Atlantis
Max
October 08, 09:09I’ve done 3 hours +. 80% of it was foreplay though. And I’m one of those who don’t cum on time.
When there’s chemistry between you too, you just can’t get enough of each other.
KryxxX
October 08, 08:41How long?
Hmmn! For me, a lot of factors needs to be considered! Mood, time, location et all! If am feeling very sexy nd I totally like you or more like love u, 20mins tops, half of which should be intense foreplay/striptease! I aim to please! But please dont be banging on my ass for close to an hour in d name of sex! It is an ass, not pussy and has its limit! Need I remind you that it is super painful too! Very painful, especially when you r packing! So biko, even if u r mining gold or seeking the lost treasures of Capt. Flint, to avoid a quick notice/eviction, u better be cumming b4 40min! If you have a death wish, I have a life wish too nd my ass has no insurance coverage!
Max
October 08, 09:06Anything from 30 minutes to an hour is my weighted average. Though short bursts can be fun..But once I get a hold of you naked, I’m not letting go. Only one person has defeated me in this area, I was literally exhausted and yearned to be left alone.
Pink Panther
October 08, 09:08A story there perhaps? 😀 #Getting MyStoryWhoreOn
Max
October 08, 09:16???. I’m not sure they’ll be very happy about that, I’m sure they’re reading this but have no idea.
There may be a story.. All depends on my mood ?☺☺
Pink Panther
October 08, 09:16*sigh* This mood again… :/
Dennis Macaulay
October 08, 09:15Max; defeated you? Was it wrestling?
Max
October 08, 09:42Mehn, it felt like wrestling oh.
Tiercel de Claron
October 08, 09:18Hmmm
Max
October 08, 09:43What’s wrong TDC? Not Destroying your image of max am I?
Tiercel de Claron
October 08, 09:58Nope.
You hew true to type.
Per being defeated only once,bless your lucky stars I didn’t know you when………….nevermind.
Jeova Sanctus Unus
October 08, 10:17I wonder who
Hoello Max!
Max
October 08, 10:38??.. Bitch, you know who.
Chizzie
October 08, 09:531hr and 30mins of intense foreplay is ideal. 30mins of rimming and all forms of ass play ( except fingering), 30mins of sucking and nibbling my nips ( Very essential as they are very big, red tinged and HIGHLY sensitive and as such require undivided attention) and 30mins of me fellating on all fours .
Then 15mins MAXIMUM of intense pounding, because it is an ass not a vagina
belcullen
October 08, 10:02And Chizzie has a schedule 4 each part of sex lol. Well as 4 me depends on d individual nothing less dan 5minutes tho. No fun in dat.
Teflondon
October 08, 10:12the appropriate duration of sex depends on various variables.
using my sex life as case study..
illd say depending on the amount of bodies involved, 30 minutes on the average is just appropriate if its a body involved including foreplay. basically, i believe sex should be done only at night when you can go all night long. anything other than that should be considered a quickie! that i believe.
ikhines
October 08, 10:43I have one weird crush on this tef guy tho’…. probably from hearing ur voice on that show… I can’t explainnnnnn!
Max
October 08, 11:42And I say again, I hope you’re not the ikhines I know.
ikhines
October 08, 17:33Who are you again?
Eddie
October 08, 13:00My average sex time frame varies sha…ten minutes to even an hour…an hour depends on my level of arousal and if the dude knows how to rock me like a hurricane and intense foreplay…the “Ten minutes” depends on how horny I must have been so it feels almost like I can’t wait to feel it inside me n I just explode in ecstasy especially after bein sex-starved for a while
ronniephoenix
October 08, 13:42Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I will just leave here for people who actually can have sex and enjoy it.
Thirty minutes, 1 to 2 hours? Seriously.
I always wonder if people do lie about their love for sex, I just can’t believe sex is this great, that one will be willing to have it for hours.
Well, bye.
#ace
#grayace
#demiace
Xoxo.
Duke (formerly Ace)
October 08, 14:51Lol… Okkkkkkkk
ronniephoenix
October 08, 19:50@duke(formally ace)
Ummmm, ace actually means asexual.
#ace(asexual)
#grayace(grayasexual)
#demiace(demiasexual)
Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk?
Ok.
Lol.
#justhavingfun
Peak
October 08, 14:49Look at this ppl! Just look!
I’m embarrassed for a considerable number of these comments I’m seeing right now
Can u imagine @KryxxX saying he can squeeze strip tease, foreplay and actual penetration into 20 minutes. Please it’s sex not a 1st to finish race. Grouping everything to gether like its pepper in the market that u are prizing it 3 for 50naira. It takes more than 30 minute to get a proper manicure, so why in hells name would I have sex with anyone under 30min. Abeg all u under 1 hour ppl, if we ever jam, just tell me u are ve a serious bf, some untreated STI or something that would do the trick.
I just did a mental count and I don’t have any under 1 hour foreplay,…………………EVER!!!
Shave, keep it nice, fresh and clean, then smash the clock. I’m not exactly a very sexual person, but when its time 2 work, u better turn da fuck up! And Yes! I have been called a savage b4, I’m that dedicated to the craft when I’m in the zone.
Been considering going “No Penetratives”, I hear its the new sex Vegan **winks @ at so so and so (u know yourselves)** but this survey is not encouraging cha-cha!
Brian Collins
October 08, 15:17Don’t be winking at anybody jor, spill le beans. *i got Organo Gold Café Noir in a pot*
Pink Panther
October 08, 17:46Ah yes, Peak the savage. *nodding in agreement* 🙂
Delle
October 08, 15:10Yessss! As I have no practical experience in this…I’m so glad y’all commented before myself. And to all the dick-takers in the house, thanks 4 d encouragement…I’m really looking forward to receiving a dick! Mtcheew…as if its that hellish!
Mitch ooo…so you can go an hour ehn?! Ahh! I will report you!
ambivalentone
October 08, 15:26I WILL be watching this space for when you finally do
GOld
October 08, 15:17I would love to know u Peak.
Ur comment piqued my interest?
Pink Panther
October 08, 17:45Is that all his comment piqued, eh Gold? 🙂
KingBey
October 08, 15:25Una get strength o. Thirty minutes…one hour….of gini? Na work? I don’t fancy sex when it’s above 15minutes….that’s my max. Maybe 20mins if we had foreplay……I can’t remember being naked with someone for more than 20mins……darling, I will sleep off on you. I get bored that easily. Lol.
Lothario
October 08, 17:52Most of these comments are surprising. I guess each person has his/her time limit…. But Please…. 1 hour? How exactly can we finish in one hour? Foreplay is a necessity for me always, I don’t joke with it, it’s VERY important… No jokes! Come on na!
All the best with your sex lives for those of you who aren’t fans of foreplay….. I foresee eye rolls at the mention of your names.
*still waiting to hear someone’s view on this article though*
BRYANNNN
October 08, 18:09…………………WHORE ALERT!!!!!…………………..
…………..I Hate sex thou, but can manage a 4hr sex…….esp. when he’s served hot!!!!!
Lothario
October 08, 18:224 hours of your life doing something you hate…… ????
Brian Collins
October 08, 18:30That is no so bad afterall, some people work at the same job they hate for up to 20years.
Silver Cat
October 08, 19:19Ma ndi 1hr ma ndi 10minutes, ekene m unu na ihe na-etiri unu egwu. This has been all so very enlightening. Jisi nu ïke, both the givers and takers of D. As for virgins like me, we spend our time reading novels, watching TV or searching for the cure of Cancer and/or HIV.
sucre
October 08, 22:36Well, 6hrs and am still pounding I fink I have a problem….
HERO
October 08, 23:48Is there really a time limit for sex? I don’t record time, all I do is to make sure l take Мy partner to cloud 9 amist proper and mindblowing fourplay. For me having a smile with the comment “Baby ur D Bomb” is worth more than 2 -3 hours sex.
Fierce_shanique
October 09, 00:45Hian!!! All this talk about sex and how long it should last, is making someone horny joor…..i like it wen we are panting and grasping for breath after the whole exercise. It makes me feel like a warrior princess…#Xena