JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 16)
October 3
Home has been fun and relaxing. Until today. Today, I have to mow the lawn, sweep and mop the floor (thanks to the recent paint job to the house), and then wash bathrooms. It doesn’t help that I’m like the only young person in the house. You know parents nah – call me from the room to get the remote in front of them. Well that’s mostly my dad. My mum likes to do things herself and could be quite the perfectionist. Last night, there were dishes in the sink and I pleaded with her to just go to bed because the dishes wouldn’t run away. They could be washed in the morning. But nooooooo. She just had to. And sleepy ole me couldn’t just leave her to do the dishes herself, so I got the job of rinsing. I swear, that woman! I’m sure if she had a heart attack and there were dishes in the sink, she would first do the dishes before calling an ambulance.
I do have this little cousin around though. I bully him a bit, but he gets to play with my Nintendo 3Ds, and watch legend of Kora on my phone, so he doesn’t complain. The feeling of power though.
I was going through a drawer one time, looking for a dividend warrant, when I stumbled on a piece of paper. And guess what… It was a love letter to my ‘wittle bwother.’ Not wanting to infringe on his privacy, I returned the letter and pretended I didn’t see it. After I read the whole thing of course. It was so cute I could die. It wasn’t one of those shuga-in-my-tea, buttah-in-ma-bread nonsense. It was legit love letter that made me want to scream to my brother: “WIFE THAT FEMALE BEFORE SHE GETS AWAY!”
For that matter, why hasn’t anyone written me a love letter before? I however did get cute texts from my first boyfriend though. And since then… Nothing. One of them used to tell me I was perfect, before the illusion was finally spoilt. Lol. I don’t feel perfect. I could do with some extra flesh in crucial areas. I think my knees are knobbly and my hair is just too much of a bother to comb. Meanwhile, my younger brother be looking like an Adonis. He is also light-skinned on top, and you know all them bitches be wanting to be light skin. I’m taller than my elder brother, my younger brother is taller than me. I’m lighter than my elder brother, my younger brother is lighter than me. It’s like we are all graded. Lol.
I’m on this regimen to reduce the number of times I wank. But of course that makes me horny often. And then I go out and I see these hard-bodied men with their shirts off. One of my neighbours even came to my house in just his boxers, and I tried not to stare. One day, I will serve him a drugged drink and have my way with him. That will teach him to be tempting a nigga. Bitch. Lol. Where will I find the liver to do that sef?
Life basically is grand, pending the time I have to go back to school and start eating my regular staples. I won’t even get fruit juice!
I downloaded The Script’s new album. And I love it! Thanks to my paddy who recommended it.
This post is short. There isn’t much to say. Y’all have a fab week ahead. Have me in your prayers so that all these straight niggas that want to be tempting a sister will not find me.
Oh, and a final thing. I like chocolate milk. Buh-bye!
Written by James
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29 Comments
Ruby
October 05, 05:17I’m glad u r trying to reduce the wanking odyssey @James.
Meanwhile, enjoy d holiday while u can, take the temptations in your stride cos believe me, you can never be tempted with more than u can bear.
Keep up d good work darling *Mwah*
Dennis Macauley
October 05, 05:58Your mom is some Bree Van De Kamp? LOL
I don’t think we ever find ourselves attractive. When people fuss over you, you tend to feel like me? What do they see? That happens to me all the time. I’m sure you are good-looking, you just don’t see it
king
October 05, 06:34Oh yes I do believe you must be good looking and yet you don’t know it james….that happened to me cause when i was younger i was STUNNING but it was until I saw my pic I took at 18 after I turned 30 that i truly realized why( one day some dude exclaimed..wow you are so handsome) but I shrugged it off cause we were in public ooh but i sooo wanted to believe it but didn’t until I saw my pic myself…so go right ahead and BELIEVE it and one more thingy James darling…..be a bold gal and bat an eye at someone once in your life biko…you just might strike lucky….chuckle!
pinkpanthertb
October 05, 07:59Hah! Stunning. Right.
Dennis Macauley
October 05, 11:27Sarcastic much!
Biko what is happening with King and Pink Panther today?
World war 1?
JustJames
October 05, 11:42Pinky behave. Or is this shade I’m sensing. So unlady like.
maxonex
October 05, 12:16More like world war pink …puhuahuahuahuahua…meanwhile I’ ll be watching from a distance…tryna avoid the pink fumes from the nukes…
McGray
October 05, 06:38I wouldnt wait a second to drug any dude who flaunts his cakes across my not-guilty face *….et in tera pax hominibus….(service continues)*
Metrosexual
October 05, 06:52LOL……… Welldone ooh..
Metrosexual
October 05, 06:50No Sound Without Silence…. I love the album too.. Still waiting for Nicole Scherzinger’s ‘Big Fat Lie’ and Leona Lewis ‘Echo’…….. Nice one today, Jamie…!
Neon
October 05, 13:00Yeah… Can’t wait for “Big Fat Lie” to drop! Previewed the songs and pre-ordered on iTunes. But… “Echo” isn’t a new album. That’s Leona’s sophomore studio effort released in 2009 😀 But she has new music coming!
T÷
October 05, 07:40Feels like something’s missing in this journal…
king
October 05, 07:57Hmm T na you know ooo u dey Dia when James was putting pen to paper biko?
T÷
October 05, 08:18This Kind u r fast getting into my radar o…hmm…
iamcoy
October 05, 07:57Nice one Jamie.. I need ur email addy
JustJames
October 05, 08:53justjames892@gmail.com
gad
October 05, 09:43Looking forward to next episode
king
October 05, 10:06Me too! James well done!
Paul
October 05, 15:48An email gad?
gad
October 05, 16:40gaddgad101@yahoo.com
#TeamKizito
October 05, 13:37Hmm. All dads have that “get me the remote” characteristics, shey? Tsk!
daniel
October 05, 14:53Dear James, talking about drugging someone, what and what is needed? Biko school a bruva,, there’s this dude that is sick and the fever is highly contagious, I wanna stop him before he stops me. Phew!!!
Dennis Macauley
October 05, 15:46Flunitrazepam + Tadalafil
Ooopsie I shouldn’t have said that!
*runs away before other medics kill me*
Paul
October 05, 15:52U r evil. U didn’t even stop @ d flunitrazepam u had to add tadalafil!
@ ds rate I feel for Mrs Macaulay
daniel
October 05, 16:38Thanks o Oga Macauley, Paul adodie? Let him tell me everything jor.. If bobo die, all join..
Brian Collins
October 05, 16:55hmm hmm hmm, nice combo. Keep his popsicle nicely stiff with him dead to the world. My, what fun one could have with that.
Dennis Macauley
October 05, 17:33You’d be shocked to find out what goes on in the macaulay’s bedroom!
Dark twisted stuff
#OkBye
gad
October 05, 17:41You are a scandal.i will tell my daddy for you
pinkpanthertb
October 05, 19:56Where are you running to? C’mere, Hell is calling. They have an ambulance waiting to convey you there.