JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 8)
July 16
The past two weeks have been crazy hectic. I’ve had to study because it’s that time of the semester where tests pop up unexpectedly and I wonder what spirit made me go pick the course I’m doing.
My libido seems to be suffering for it, which is unusual considering the fact that I am more often than not up for sex. I have wanked more than five times in one day on more than one occasion (it was during strike, don’t blame me). But now the thought of sex is like “naaah.”
I still wank when I feel like, but I don’t want to be with other people sexually. I want to be selfish and think of myself. I could go top somebody but I find it hard being the selfish top (I want to come when I feel like and more often than not, it’s early. But I’m usually ready for rounds 2 and 3 in a jiffy). And most Nigerian tops are rather selfish and just think that the fact that they are ramming in and out of your ass means you’re enjoying it, so I’d rather not bottom anytime soon.
Speaking of selfish tops, Ash, my best friend of five years lives in America now, and he tells me of his sexcapades and how the tops do everything in their power to make the bottom happy. I envy the mofo. I just hope he’s playing safe sha.
Moving on. I was thinking a while back in class, when my lecturer was droning on and on about xenobiotics, what it would be like to fuck a lady. Is pussy as great as the straight ones say it is? I’ve been a bit bi-curious since then. But I’m rather timid when it comes to the fairer sex and I wonder what the fuck would happen if I totally fucked up during sex and don’t give it to her good (a constant worry that plagues me even when I top). Lol. I’ll try and make up for it in other ways though *wags tongue* I can imagine someone saying “eeewww” right now, but I eat clean ass if I am asked to, so why not pussy. I mean I could just close my eyes and pretend it’s pomo or something.
Some days ago this fine specimen of a male beeped me. Hubba-hubba! I just wanted to lick him. But then, it was time to strike a conversation, and the whole thing was just awkward. With one word answers from each side. Normally I play coy if someone beeps me first… He should be the one to make the conversation, you know. But when two people are playing coy… Needless to say, the conversation was going nowhere and I decided to be full-on friendly. And still, all I got were one word answers, and it was so frustrating be, no matter how cute you are, if you can’t hold a fucking convo, I can’t deal. I’m not going to force myself on you. But I will give you chances to be better before I delete your fine face from my phone (that’s so I won’t end up looking desperate chasing after the person. Not cause I’m a snob)
Which brings me to something I’ve been toying with in my head. Conversations with people via IM… how can they be grouped? Lol. There are the people with no conversation skills, like the one I mentioned above. There are also those who just want to talk about sex. Then there are those who are desperate for a hookup. And those who ask you for nudes so much you begin to wonder if they are using your pictures for juju. There are those who you’d love to talk to but show up at the wrongest of times, and there are those who snub you and won’t even read your pings though you know they are with their phone 24/7. There are the Drama Queens (I added someone who began to ask why I didn’t immediately say hi to him after adding him and wanted to make an issue of it. Thank goodness the delete button isn’t very far). Then there are the ones who you click with almost immediately and it feels like you’ve been friends forever, till one day they stop giving you attention and y’all just drift apart. So, so many more, and the funny part is that each and every one of us fits into this category.
I downloaded an extended playlist by Owl City, my favoritest musician in the whole wide world (do I hear gasps? Sorry Bey), and I’m loving it so much. I also bought a social psychology textbook… why? Cause I’m weird like that. I’d also like to know how society affects my wee little mind and how I can manipulate people *evil laughter*
I have to stop now *eyes histology textbook warily*
Y’all remember to stay FLAWLESS and hold your head high wherever you are cause our fabulousness and awesomeness should not be hidden.
Written by James
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42 Comments
chestnut
July 20, 06:21Those one-word answers in a conversation…don’t u just hat that? Lol. I can’t, with those knuckle-heads that can’t hold a conversation.that’s d first allure for me, and if trying to converse with u becomes harder than algebra…well, #ByeFelicia!
chestnut
July 20, 06:23*hate
pinkpanthertb
July 20, 06:26Wallai! I mean, if you can’t spark it up via IM which is even an easier forum for conversations, how much more face-to-face? That shii were getting us to actually converse is like prying apart teeth is just not for me. I’m currently contemplating deleting someone from my contact list sef, dude can be so depressingly monosyllabic. And he’s been on my list this long sef, cos he’s also HAWT. 🙂
chestnut
July 20, 06:41Lol. In my experience,if u delete some of those mute ninjas,they’ll look for ur pin and add u up again…and continue keeping quiet. I keep wondering if for them, it’s just about having a certain amount of contacts on their fone. What’s d point of having a contact if u won’t talk to them,even when they try to talk to u? I wonder how that makes any type of sense to them.
trystham
July 20, 06:32You are so right about the bbm grouping thing. I have never seen the importance of sending nudes and doing all that dirty talk when not in the bedroom tho. And most times, the dirty talkers, nude pics seekers, desperate hookers up are one n the same person.
Chizzie
July 20, 06:36I just thought this was unnecessarily vulgar and too explicit; if a top is really into you, he would go through great lengths to ensure u are satisfied. ..it depends on the physical and sexual chemistry between you two. So maybe the fault is from your end not our Nigerian tops…
I think it would be good if you’d focus more on ur studies and maybe quit the journaling thing for a while especially seeing as u aren’t particularly good at it; and good luck finding a job with a Vetinary Science degree. .
chestnut
July 20, 06:46Really chizzie?Lol. I can’t with this niccur. I swear I’m starting to become convinced that u do this for d attention…u thrive on controversy! LMFAO. I can’t!
(And yea,it’s not just abt how much person likes u;some ppl are just not good in bed,period, just like some women can’t cook a decent meal,no matter how much they love their husbands)
Chizzie
July 20, 07:28most of the tops I meet always aim to please. .. oftentimes im like “put it in already”, it depends to a large extent on how sexually attractive the bottom is.. Likewise with tops when I meet one thats very sexually appealing ( dark skinned, hairy, thick and juicy )…I pull all the stops and ensure he’s thoroughly satisfied.
Dubem
July 20, 07:24‘I think it would be good if you’d focus more on ur studies and maybe quit the journaling thing for a while especially seeing as u aren’t particularly good at it; and good luck finding a job with a Vetinary Science degree.’
How can a single person be this vile and hateful and condescending and seething with nothing but negativity? How? How did God get it so wrong in one person? I sincerely doubt you have a boyfriend or have a fabulous life, becos in my opinion, only people who have everything going wrong for them can possibly spout such wickedness for their fellow men. Guy, you have a problem. You need to change your orientation. You may think you’re being cool with this your meanness, but someday your bad attitude will come back around.
JustJames
July 20, 07:57“Hang on pls …Thrystham in all seriousness. .don’t u have anything doing? Cause this is really becoming sad. ..Why do ur comments revolve around me or ways to get back at me? why do u always feel the need to justify and validate urself when u come across my comments? yst u almost wrote a thesis trying to come up with a witty reply. is it some form of inferiority complex? or is it just a case of being idle? look when the chips are down. ..u are a man! pls go and find something doing. ..go and get a job pls, don’t centre ur life around an anonymous gay blog esp amongst ppl that will cringe when they finally see u.
Are u in school? are u writing Jamb? what do u do pls? Unemployment isn’t something u should feel too comfortable with.
at the end of the day…im the one with the boyfriend who i love so much. ..and the nice job I am so grateful about and the good looks and u are still well, poor and ugly.
hope u have a nice weekend. ..might not have time for our cat fights this weekend cus I also work on Saturdays…and after that I’ll be hanging out with the mr…might go see Maleficent on Sunday finally… *hugs* praying for u”
Chizzie… you wrote this trystham a while ago. I pretty much feel you should apply it to yourself before telling other people what to do. Hypocrisy is not a good look and definitely doesn’t go well with attention seeking baby. You just look desperate and alone.
Chizzie
July 20, 08:06wait so u went to fetch something I posted 2 weeks ago and took the time to copy and past it and I am the desperate and lonely one? ok
Dubem
July 20, 08:14He merely took his time to prove a point @Chizzie. But I suppose someone as blinded by negativity as you will fail to see it. You seem to be quick with the criticisms, and I’d ask for you to keep your pieces coming, but seeing how huge a fall-out you have with Pinkie, I guess that won’t be happening. Someone who has published merely two writeups here that aren’t that stupendous barely has a right to be so dismissive of other people’s constant efforts.
trystham
July 20, 08:31James, u just had to gaan dig out my name 2 make ur point abi? I haf catch my sub o *bunches fist* You want summa dis huh? You’s gonna get it
pinkpanthertb
July 20, 08:42LMAO! *shaking my head and going back to my writing of Love and Sex*
JustJames
July 20, 08:51Btw chizzie. It’s veterinary medicine, not vetinary science.
Chizzie
July 20, 09:01ok…still doesn’t improve ur likelihood of employment
pinkpanthertb
July 20, 10:04This is your last comment on this blog. no other thing you say here will get to live more seconds than necessary anymore. I don’t care what anybody says about my decision, but as long as I moderate here, in the same way I frustrated Alpha Papi to silence from here with my deletions of his comments, that is what I will do to you. Whether good or bad (not that you are capable of making good comments), they will no longer exist here. Since you have sworn to remain like so, I’d rather you continue with your hatefulness elsewhere.
pinkpanthertb
July 20, 11:52And its ironical really. When I decided to start deleting Alpha papi’s comments, you (Chizzie) were the one who gave me the idea. You were the one who kept berating me for not ridding the blog of Alpha’s inflammatory comments.
chestnut
July 20, 09:57Chizzie that one was really low,even for u.how can u cast darkness on someone’s future just like that?(not that mean words can affect his success though) What makes u think he wouldn’t be gainfully employed as soon as he needs it? What makes u think u won’t have to work for him in future? This is just messy!
Khaleesi
July 20, 11:22Chizzie am worried about you sincerely. for someone to consistently spew forth such hate and venom is a symptom of deep psycho-emotional problems. plzzz get help you’re a deeply disturbed bitch, that’s the only reason you always attempt to soothe your excruciating mental agony by trying to hurt&pit others down …biko hurry up b4 u blow your brains out someday or slash your wrists or hang from your ceiling, there’s still time to salvage whats left of your sanity!!
earl
July 20, 13:47Sweetheart, I used 2 be a great fan of ur sarcasm, buh I’d draw the line wen ignorance is perceived a thousand miles away…. 1. Its Veterinary Medicine, not Veterinary Science…. 2. Unfortunately, a vet doctor cn be richer than a banker… My next door neighbour is a veterinary doctor, and sweetie, dis lady is loaded.. She aint married yet, and she isn’t even up to 30…. 3. Give yourself the consolation of the fact that you are not in any way better than any of us here, and stop lashing at others….. Stay blessed. Jesus loves you..
T÷
July 20, 16:31Chizze u r just a disgusting fellow…u make so much noise about employment as if that’s what defines someone….dude you work at heritage bank, I mean heritage bank? And you make so much noise about job ish like you work in one better blue shit company.
Dude shut the fuck up and take the back seat. You disgusting lowlife…mtcheeeew
trystham
July 20, 16:41WHOA!!! Easy there tiger. Two beeps on my phone to show this much anger? Its Sunday abeg. Church mind ppl. Work with me here. Take a deep breath, slowly exhale…WHOOOOOOOOOOOSAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
T÷
July 20, 16:31Chizze u r just a disgusting fellow…u make so much noise about employment as if that’s what defines someone….dude you work at heritage bank, I mean heritage bank? And you make so much noise about job ish like you work in one better blue chip company.
Dude shut the fuck up and take the back seat. You disgusting lowlife…mtcheeeew
Absalom
July 20, 06:38Relatable subjects all round, including the part about buying a psychology textbook. You’re not weird at all; back in my parents’ houses, I have this tome I’m still reading.
pinkpanthertb
July 20, 06:45Why does that not shock me…
Jarch
July 20, 08:19James, I thoroughly enjoyed today’s journal. it’s always been interesting from the onset- full of random yet almost sequential ramblings that’s expected of a journal.
That being said there will always be a certain specie of sheep that will always want to voice their sadistic opinion just to try and make themselves feel good.
I believe a lion doesn’t loose sleep over the opinion of sheep. He’ll be like “Oh a sheep is bleating, atleast that’s my dinner sorted…. Next!!!”
Stay Fly and keep the journal coming
pinkpanthertb
July 20, 08:20LOL! Several shades of grey right here.
Legalkoboko
July 20, 18:57hahahaha!! Jarch, I had to purse for a moment just to have a good laugh at that one. Oh dear!
Jarch
July 20, 08:29Pinky and chestnut we’ve always had and will always have those people that just want to occupy space on your bbm. I call them monitoring spirits – cos that’s all they do – sit back and just monitor you life (some go as far as stealing your pictures from your dp…. TF!!)
When I delete such people, I “Delete and Ignore”. So trying to find your way back to my list is out of the question.
Fitzgerald
July 20, 08:52I just wonder why some people on this blog can be so egotistical and still be dumb. They just think they are the best at everything and no one else can be better than them. (I’m not going to mention names, but if you feel guilty after reading this comment then you’re one of them). James, that was a good write up and it’s a reflection of how journals really are. Would want to see more of this.
Iduke
July 20, 09:21Fitz thanks for reminding me about my Fav scandalous duo. Plus. Chizzie is a pee.baby. His constant need for attention only makes my tot all the more true. A baby wets itself and cries. Chizzie does that. A baby is hungry and cries. Chizzie does that. A baby falls and hurts itself. Chizzie does that. A baby attempts at being awesome as we KD peeps and fails. Chizzie does that. Need I say more. James.. panther is one of them silent monitoring monosyllabic chatpipu on my bbm. So panther Ub kettle leave pots alone
Jarch
July 20, 09:49Lol Iduke…. There’s a difference btw marking attendance on bbm and just normal chats. BBM isn’t supposed to be everyday na. Once a month or once every 2wks is more than enough na
The only time that exception doesn’t apply is if he’s you boyfriend, colleague or business partner. Then daily chatting is of the essence.
Khaleesi
July 20, 11:17aww James, you’re every Sapiosexual’s crush!!! I love the way you take seemingly mindless pieces if ramble and weld them together into something poignant and beautiful… please keep it up, you’ll go places! I love, totally love how you write from deep within your soul.
Dennis Macauley
July 20, 11:59I think we should all learn to take the high road! When someone is being a child, allow them to be that! Ignore and Rise above!!!
That said, I’m not exactly a fan of James Journal, however I can see that it’s improving and the structure keeps getting better.
About the BBM, I have a 14day rule; if we don’t talk in 14days off you go. Even my mother (who blackmailed herself into my BBM list by the way) knows this. I have about 70 contacts and I think that number is a lot even.
lluvmua
July 20, 12:34Its just so obvious that chizzie is an attention seeking , unserious , backdated and UGLY BITCH!!!! So ya all can do d bitch some favour and give him some attention !!! #BITCHES BE LIKE THEY ARE SHARING ATTENTION OVER THERE!!! Period. And my sweerie pie james I simply love ur journal dearie. Nice 1 @chizzie (weird name) mtcheewwww*rolls eye*
Lothario
July 20, 12:50Oh gosh! PP seriously? You silenced her? Lmao…..come on Na! Let her be…not everyone can be a fan, but the way you know that you’re on the way up is when the haters are upping the ante on the hating. Let the bitch be.
James, lovely as always! And as Dennis said, you’re improving…that’s very good!
trystham
July 20, 15:58I quite agree. Let him be biko. You cannot compare him with Alpha papi. That one was a homophobe with internet access. Much as I had hoped for this day, it kinda feels like too much an extreme action was taken(maybe cos I just came from church????) Its still the high road for me.
P.S *punches JustJames in the face* That’s for involving me in your subtle yabs.
JustJames
July 20, 16:27I’m sorry trystham love… but I didn’t yab him na. I just gave him some advice.
Blaq Jaqs
July 20, 16:50I’ve always been slightly amused maybe even a fan of Chizzie: I like the fact that (s)he says what’s on her mind, the way she sees it and is unapologetic about it. That kind of resilience would often thrive in adversity. And she does make some valid points and arguments that hold ground and I often find myself agreeing with (even though I don’t agree with your approach). However, when you start calling people ugly and poor and unemployed; it’s a new level of low. A Lot of people especially gay people already have enough battles they are fighting, why make it harder? It makes you worse than a homophobe whom we can indulge ignorance. But not you because you should understand better and not throw such words so carelessly. Perhaps you watched too much Gossip Girl or Mean Girls growing up and have been disillusioned to think possessing these attributes make you cool. They don’t. They make you look uglier than the people you are looking down on.
I’ve always assumed you were smart. Referencing your well-constructed sentences and lucid arguments and insightful points. But then you made a statement about someone not getting a job because they studied veterinary ‘science’. Wow. I don’t know whether it’s naive or just myopic thinking. Whatever it is. Never underestimate what someone can be because of where they are coming from or what they have studied. Truly I’m disappointed in the fact that we still have people exhibiting such appalling behaviour. (but I’m sure you don’t really care)
That out of my system, well done with the entry James. Initially I was skeptical about your writing. I still am is some ways. But I’ve come to like how real you come off as when you pen these thoughts of yours. I feel like I’m getting to know you more and more. And there is something very beautiful about all the ramblings. I dare say I even have a crush on you these days! *covers face and runs away!
blakes
July 20, 19:39lol pls am i allowed to just come and laugh and go? ok hahahahahahaahahhahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahaahhahahahahahahahahhaahahhahahahahahaahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaha
Dominic
July 21, 09:14Sometimes, nope most times I have come to the realisation that the hatred in most gays is thicker than that in the worst homophobes. Attacking his writing is not enough, u had to go to the extent of painting his future black ‘cos of his course of study. Haba! That’s so freaking shallow. With all the negativity attach to being gay then someone wants to turn this blog to some hatred museum……no abeg. Good one pinky!!!