Just A Simple Reminder

It’s okay to be out. It’s okay to prioritize your happiness over everyone else’s. It’s okay to want to be free. It’s okay to be yourself. It’s okay to give hope to those who are scared. It’s okay to wake up knowing you wear your skeleton on your outside. It takes a lot of courage to be yourself everyday in a world that tells you to be someone else or even act it. You are strong. Remember that every day that you lay down and think about all the negative comments you took in that day. It takes a lot of strength to grow up for just yourself.

It’s okay to flaunt yourself and be flamboyant but still keep the answer to your sexuality to yourself. You don’t owe anyone a reply. Nobody needs to know who you are dating or sleeping with.

It’s okay to not be out. It’s okay to keep you to yourself. If that makes you happy and comfortable, stay there. It’s okay to realize your coming out may not only affect the way people treat you, but also how they treat your family. It’s okay to believe you are not dependent enough to risk losing the source of your finance while building your dream and future.

It’s okay to pretend. It’s okay to appear to accept what the world wants to see you as. It’s okay to believe in what the world sees as a solution. It’s not okay to drag someone else’s situation into your mess. It’s not okay to deceive someone else at the expense of their happiness. It’s not okay to attack those who have decided to be themselves. You of all people should know how it’s not possible to change who you are.

It’s okay to dislike the character of someone who is LGBT. It’s okay to not want to be best friends with them but it’s not okay to make it obvious. It’s not okay to use that “fear” of homosexuals as your definition for homophobia. If you really fear them, they wouldn’t be at the bottom of the human rights pyramid. If you feared them, they would probably be known as people with super powers. Imagine a queer man walking up to you to say, “Your money or I’ll kiss you.”

I can’t imagine you giving up your money.

It’s not okay to use violence to intimidate or hurt people, to use terror to get at them. It’s okay to not understand them. But you should endeavour to turn your lack of understanding around. It’s not okay to turn what you don’t understand into a weapon to victimize others. It’s perfect to mind your business and keep walking when you see something you don’t like. It’s not okay to troll. It’s not okay to make someone feel less about themselves. It’s not okay to use or encourage violence. You were not born to hate. You simply got accustomed to privilege.

It’s okay to be unsure about your sexuality. It’s okay to be questioning. It’s okay to not want to think or be bothered about your sexuality. It’s okay to see yourself beyond the lens of who you decide to love. It’s perfectly fine to stay asexual.

It’s okay to be subtle about your sexuality. It’s okay to not want to participate but it’s not okay to tell those who decide to talk about it that they are being too loud. It’s not okay to tell them to shut up. It’s not okay to silence anybody’s existence.

It’s okay to be an advocate. It’s a good thing to be on the right side of things. It’s a good thing to encourage the visibility of a marginalized people. It’s not okay to tell them to hide. It’s not okay to talk about their safety without addressing the reason for it. It’s not okay for all you have to say to them to be “pretend” and “blend in”. It’s not okay to tell them to be on the low. It’s not okay to remind them that society will never accept them.

The essential detail is that:

Whatever you decide…LOVE SHOULD ALWAYS WIN.

Written by Nonso Chukwu