Let’s Discuss…About Why Everyone Must Be Gay
Three years ago, when I was unemployed, I had this friend who got wind of this seminar that was going to be hosted by some gay activist group here in Lagos. It’s an event we simply must attend, my friend said as he tried to persuade me to go with him for the seminar. He was boyfriend-less at the time and figured it’d be the perfect hunting ground for a potential hook-up. I got sold and accompanied him to the event. It was a good seminar. I learned a lot. There were good-looking attendees there, both male and female. My friend flirted incessantly with one of the guys. At the end of the seminar, he asked the guy for his number, and the young man coolly declined, telling him he wasn’t interested in what my friend was obviously interested in. he is straight, he said. He’s just here because as a human rights activist, he’s sympathetic to the gay cause.
Bloody closeted fag, my friend muttered viciously to me. I asked if he didn’t believe the guy’s heterosexual claim. He said no, he didn’t. When I asked why, then came the litany of clichéd rationalizations – he’s too pretty to be straight… he’s a gay activist, for chrissakes… he’s gay, he just doesn’t know it yet… #sigh#
A couple of days ago, I happened on a tweet by someone I follow.
Lol. I know, this isn’t the gravest of issues, but it’s something a number of us, even I, are guilty of often times – this predilection most homosexual people have for the presumption that every other person, either homophobic or sympathetic, is a gay person waiting to happen.
This notion is what drives a lot of us, the brave ones, to seduce others to the…um, queer way of life.
Someone once scathingly said to me that gay men need to wake up from their bubble, that sometimes, a person who is homophobic is like so, simply because he detests homosexuality, and not because of some self denial or despisal of his suspected queerness.
I don’t know. What are your thoughts? Let’s discuss…about why everyone must be gay.
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21 Comments
kendigin
July 12, 05:26First to comment o! #dancingskelewu#
I dont think a person has to be gay to be an activist. To be an activist u only have to be human, shikena.
For example, I used to have a cousin who was so antigay and homophobic. But after a while, after a series of interactions with both gay pple and activists, she is now at the forefront of the fight against the stupid antigay law.
kendigin
July 12, 05:30Btw pinkpanther wia is my article ooo.
Hmmm, diariz god. Continue.
Now ken wants to help you to make the blog lively. Will you say no? Chai!
chestnut
July 12, 05:43Everyone is most definitely not gay; it’s just wishful thinking on d part of some of our brothers. It’s just like saying “every one is either straight or soon-to-be-straight”…sounds totally ignorant. I assume those dudes who think everyone is “soon-to-be-gay” are under d impression that if they can lure a straight guy into bed and give him amazing sex,those guys would turn gay(now,in such a situation,I don’t know what eventually becomes of those…”Victims”; I don’t know what eventually happens to their sexuality,but I’m just thinking to myself, if it were that easy,why can’t it work the same way in d reverse? Why can’t a hot girl,luring me into bed and giving me mind-blowing sex, turn me “straight” and make me suddenly feel d urge to puke wen I see a hot naked guy?). If I start having great sex with some very sexy girl,would that really make me become unattracted to guys FOREVER? Close ur eyes,imagine it,and ask urselves the same question. Some ppl are genuinely straight AND understanding of gay ppl; nothing would make them “truly” turn gay, and trying to turn them out is just insensitive and disrespectful (especially of someone who is sympathetic to our cause) and that might slowly start to leave a bad taste in his mouth. E’rrbody aint a closet-case,really, and some of us should just give it a rest.
Dennis Macauley
July 12, 06:09It is with a lot of shame that I admit that I also bought into this stereotype. A few months ago I became friends with this guy who kept criticizing the anti gay law on twitter! I mean he had to be gay right? Why else will he fight our cause? I followed him and he followed back (good sign). We started exchanging DMS, I asked for a blackberry pin and he gave me (another good sign of a well paved road ahead). It turned out that he was visiting portharcourt that weekend and my “little Mr” was visiting family in Yenagoa so I thought a little cherry by the side won’t hurt anyone (*bows head in shame*). I asked him to meet me up in a lounge and he easily agreed to, grateful for the offer that he did not know anyone in portharcourt. He showed up looking so cute with a pink tshirt, a snug pair of jeans that showed off impressive cakes and a floral perfume, which to me was the nail on the coffin (he has to be gay).
We kept talking and I flirted shamelessly (I know I’m going to hell, next) and one time I put my hand over his, he smiled and said “I think there has been a mix up”. He explained that he was straight, as straight as a pole and he championed gay rights just as he champions Human rights because Gay rights are human rights. He was very sweet and gracious about it, total class act. My Ego however deflated, together with another part of my anatomy, as I felt serious shame for what I had done. I assumed he was gay because he believed in gay rights! How wrong was i.
We are now great friends and we often laugh over that episode. He got married last month and I was a grooms man. I have since learned my lesson; albeit the hard way
pinkpanthertb
July 12, 06:11Wow. This is one misdirected episode that ended really well.
chestnut
July 12, 06:47Lol. Straight guys really need to stop confusing us with their pink tshirts and floral perfumes. I once had a friend; his favorite scent was “Unforgivable Woman”,by diddy.but d guy loves pussy more than anything in d world!
kendigin
July 12, 06:58Story. Loving pussy doesnt stop anyone from loving prick. Theres this guy in my former office that has fondled, smooched and screwed almost all the girls at work. I thot he was super straight till the day we kissed.
Point is sm pple go crazy for pussy just to make up for their appetite for prick.
chestnut
July 12, 07:46@kendigin: perhaps d office dude was just curious? *shrug* I don’t know how u guys get to d point of kissing a straight guy tho.what leads up to that? How do u get to that point? I wish I were that brave.I could never hav dat kind of liver. How I wan take start d conversation sef? I’m totally clueless!
kendigin
July 12, 09:09Well in my case it took a long period of chemistry and tension in the air. And then the opportunity presented itself and it just happened. We didnt talk about it after, and avoided each other like plague. This was back when I believed all gays were defitely going to hell.
But in truth I dnt think I cld ever initiate anything wit a straight guy. Heck any guy sef!
Legalkoboko
July 12, 07:34In the ancient Roman republic and empire period, there was no distinction between being gay and straight. The concept of human sexuality was simply unknown.
It was thought that every male human being is capable of having sex with both males and females. It was considered normal. But now morden scientific findings tell us otherwise.
My point is that it is very natural for not just gay people, but for all the uninformed people out there to presume that every man alive today is either actively gay or a latent gay man. I think this way of thinking is the driving force behind all the national homophobia we see around us: the fear that these active gay people will eventually persuade or seduce every other male person in the country and focus their minds solely on gay sex thereby making procreation undesirable to every man. In this context, one can readily appreciate the fear, the apprehensions of homophobic people.
So all that belief that all (cute and sexy ) guys out there can be “converted ” has its root in serious misinformation. This topic has always been a source of amusement and curiosity for me. Thank you Pinky for bringing It up today.
Absalom
July 12, 10:21Thanks, Legalkoboko: Your comment made go find a link an FB friend of mine shared last week which I skipped. It’s about the “invention of heterosexuality”. In all my thoughts about who is attracted to what and who gets “converted” to what, I can’t help but think that humans are mostly wired to be more open and willing to explore their options – but social construct came along and polarised people along sexuality lines, lines that placed one sexuality above the other, introduced the concepts of normality and abnormality. If Jonathan Katz’s thoughts on this matter have any merit (just read his essay) I’m desperate for such a world to come back where what you fuck can be anything – labelled or unlabelled, understood or mysterious, static or in a state of flux – and it’ll be all right.
trystham
July 12, 08:20The topic caught my attention. ‘MUST’??? Whats with the certainty? There is no denying that EVERYONE is sexually curious. Someone wants to try certain races, someone wants to play roles, Some want certain age ranges…its in what situations that ppl get their best orgasmic feelings that they decide to stick to. A necrophiliac probably thinks all are necrophiliacs waiting to happen. Its this kinda thinking (gaydar to some) that get ppl beaten to near death in the 1st place. Like someone said on that labels topic thingy, let ppl do their own labellings by themselves
Dennis Macauley
July 12, 08:49I also think that we have internalized Homophobia to the point that we believe that we are on the “deviant” side of nature. So we collect straight guys to show off to our friends like Oscars on a mantle in a pseudo attempt to validate ourselves. Its like we want to reach into the “normal bank” and pull out one of them and feel good about ourselves, afterall they are not that normal (as it were).
@chestnut my colleague wears “White Diamonds” to work everyday with the skinniest of pants! Let’s just say I have fantasies that involve him holding the photocopier with his back to me…(Yes Pink Panther I am going to hell, care to join?)
kendigin
July 12, 09:16Hmmm speak for urself o. I dont keep any straight froends. I have enough issies hiding in the closet from family, not to talk of adding friends.
chestnut
July 12, 14:37Hehehe…u know u’re going to hell on a skateboard,right?
Chizzie
July 12, 15:22I hope ur boyfriend doesn’t read this blog
pinkpanthertb
July 13, 02:25As long as have a photocopier inside the limousine we’re using to take that ride to hell. 😉 might as well get off one last bang, yea?
Lothario
July 12, 10:29I totally agree with Dennis on this one….the feeling of turning a normal person abnormal must be exhilarating for a lot of people. Honestly I can’t stand people who make moves on straight people, you’re really opening yourself up to all kinds of danger. I need confirmation that someone is gay before i even say hello in my deep ‘come hither’ voice.
As for thinking everyone is gay, come on!!!
Absalom
July 12, 10:40But coming back to our PRESENT social realities where these constructs have already been made (and many of us who identify as gay would never know if – given different social circumstances – would have liked some pussy on the side too; or for those who identify as straight know if they would have checked out cock), I’ll just say that everybody cannot be “gay” nor everybody “straight”. But everybody can just be human and free to explore their sexual cravings as they see fit and with whom they want at any point in time. Nobody should use presumptions to make others uncomfortable.
tobby17
July 12, 15:26I guess it’s always worth a try..
Try your luck..LOL
Khaleesi
July 12, 19:15sexuality is one of the most complex amd misunderstood forces of mankind. for as long as humans exist, there shall continue to be mysteries attached to sexuality. its possible for a 100% str8 guy to be cool with and sympathetic to the plight of oppressed gay people just like a lot of white people were involved in the anti-slavery struggle, a lot of men are&still are involved in fighting for the rights of women,children etc. I personally know a couple of VERY straight guys who hang out with,club with and sit in while their gay friends act very gay and they r totally cool with all this & yet they say they r totally straight and simply cant comprehend having sex with a man,they v simply learned to live and let live as well as to look beyong sexuality alone as a yardstick for measuring a person’s worth! this is a stage a large majority of the Nigerian populace is yet to get to and with the regular dose of opium and misinformation they receive, I fear they may never reach that stage!
a lot of gay guys r held captive by wishful thinking and refuse to accept the fact that some guys are just not wired to be gay, just as some are wired to be gay. a straight guy might experiment with guys a few times, but if he’s not wired that way, he will eventually swing back to his real sexuality …