Looking
Most people fantasize about leaving Nigeria and relocating to another country but never stop to consider the baggage that comes with it. I was really ecstatic when I learned I was to relocate to Canada to further my studies. The thought of building a new network of friends (gay friends) didn’t feel like much of an issue to me.
“After all, it’s Canada. How hard can it be?” I thought to myself.
But boy, was I wrong.
You know how, in foreign movies, boy meets boy and wind starts to blow from nowhere while every other thing stands still? Yes, I was expecting that, expecting the-wind-and-time-pause thingy. LOL. I never imagined it would be this hard to find someone I can relate with. The funny part is, I have friends but they are all straight. At least, that’s how they present to me. Kito Diaries has taught me that straight things can suddenly emerge not-so straight. For some reason, straight guys are drawn to me, not in a sexual way. Sometimes, I ask myself how it is that these guys don’t mind being seen with me because I’m quite effeminate.
The struggle of being friends with these guys is real. Most times, they’d engage me in topics which don’t interest me in any way, but I just go with the flow. And since I’m not out to them, I can’t really bring up things I really want to talk about.
I didn’t have many gay friends back home in Nigeria, but the few I had were really good and fun people to be around. They’d be full to bursting with stories of their sexcapades and make fun of me since I was the person getting the least action – in fact, I was hardly getting any action. (But that is something I’ll write about later.)
It’s been five months since I left Nigeria and I’m yet to find someone I can relate with. It is not like there aren’t gay guys here, I’d like to think so anyway. It’s just that everyone is so private, and you don’t just walk up to an unknown person to start a conversation. It also doesn’t help that I am incapable of making the first move.
This is NOT a hookup thing o. Because I know some people are already rolling their eyes up to their sockets, saying, “Well, why not go on Grindr?”
With this being said, if you know anyone who stays in Canada, or you are someone who stays in Canada, I’d be very happy if you would make a connection with me. I NEED (GAY) FRIENDS! Before all these straight friends I have drain me of all of my rainbow fabulousness.
Simply reach out to Pink Panther to connect with me.
Written by Magiccharlie
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17 Comments
Sim
May 20, 04:22Do you want a lesbian friend? My bestie is a lesbian, she lives in Toronto.
Black Dynasty
May 20, 05:00I’ve moved countries a few times and not a fan of hookup/casual etc… I can relate to this completely!
Thing is, there isn’t much of a choice but the apps/websites. Unfortunately you will have to stomach and filter through a lot of the BS especially the ones who believe the apps are strictly for those looking to fuck ?.
It used to be better on the websites (bgc/a4a) back in the day; made some close friends there over the years and same applies to grindr.
Alternatively, you can check out gay bars and clubs etc… though they can be understandably daunting.
Sadly only have str8 friends in Canada and wish you the best!
PS. Anyone in the UAE?
Magiccharlie
May 20, 05:43Honestly I’ve tried Grindr everyone wants to hook up, fro m info I gathered i heard you’d find mostly old people in gay bars plus a gay bar isnt somwhere i’d want to go to alone, you never can tell what will happen
Black Dynasty
May 20, 12:40Fair enough @ bars, I can’t say I ever went alone. I imagine you’re also not out? If you were and felt comfy, I’m sure you could find lgbt friendly events in your city…
Opal
May 20, 05:31Lol. I can totally imagine. Also depends on your city. I’m in Canada and would be cool to chat. What’s your email address or send me a note on jeffopal89@gmail.com
Cheers
Magiccharlie
May 20, 05:39I’m in calgary, you will get a mail from me soon
Higwe
May 20, 06:29If I ever get the opportunity of traveling out ,the first thing I’ll do is find a rich, desperate, middle aged white woman to marry .??
At least ,I’ll be guaranteed a comfortable shelter and an extended paper while I focus on my hustle .
I can’t come and kill myself.
Peace
May 20, 09:04*rolls eyes* all these Igbo men sef…….. ?
Obiora
May 23, 00:12Lol…And you think all these women haven’t caught on? What do y’all take these white people for? Fools? They already know the game, heck they’re even ahead of the game.
Obiora
May 23, 00:16If it were that easy as you think, many of my Nigerian brothers won’t be forced into crime, many work menial jobs just to avoid being homeless and begging on the street. They say experience is the best teacher. Getting a white woman or man and obtaining your papers is not as easy as 123… Lol, don’t get it twisted.
J
May 20, 09:03Take it slow, I believe you’ll meet some friends in due time. Isn’t there a gay association or club in school? I know you’re still trying to adapt to your new environment, so please be very smart.
I’m not racist, but from the stories I have been reading online… I think there are a lot of problematic people abroad, serial killers and what have you LOL
DBS
May 20, 17:43I don’t mind being friends. Only have one bisexual friend (guy)..
Shoot me an email if you don’t mind. I’m a woman though and not bi??
DBS
May 20, 17:44Udahchidi@gmail.com
Patrick
May 20, 22:34Magiccharlie,
I can relate. I travelled overseas for studies a year ago, excited that I would finally be free to be who I am. In particular, I was hoping to finally get myself a nice, clean, African American dude for a boyfriend, but I found them to be either ridiculously picky or simply interested in sex. I wanted romance.
Weirdly, I keep attracting black girls and middle-aged white men.
I would say that 5 months is a rather short time to begin to judge your situation. I have met some interesting gay people in the last couple of months. So give it time.
Gerrard
May 21, 00:01give it sometime hunny
Bussy
May 24, 03:42You can wait for me you know, once I’m done with school I’d come over to Canada for a job, then we get married a year after and have 3 lovely daughters and a son if you’d love ??
Magiccharlie
May 24, 03:46Lmao there’s nothing I’d love more??