OUR ALLIES ARE FUCKING UP!

The creation of heterosexuality (the identity) marked the creation of homophobia (the response to people who are not protected under heterosexuality), and it is important we know this. The pervasiveness of heterosexuality is what makes it even more violent. Queer people have, for the longest time, been subjected to and continue to be subjected to homophobic violence, structurally and otherwise. But with the phenomenon of homophobia births the pushback led by queer people, with support from people who are protected by heterosexuality – the people who are called allies. This has led to some societies punishing people for their homophobia (although these societies all have a history of state-sanctioned homophobia), especially after Jehovah-for-the-Gays appeared to them in their dreams and warned them of a ten-day plague if they don’t fucking let His people go!

A person being made to suffer the consequence of their homophobia looks good at first glance – maybe even two glances. Three? Four? Man, I don’t know. But what I do know is that it is never enough. In fact, it does not happen enough. In a way, it is selective. This only happens because, while there is a pushback against homophobia, homophobia still thrives. It still protects people. The law still allows people to be needlessly violent, especially in Nigeria.

On the ninth of January 2021, at 12:11 PM, popular Twitter user, self-proclaimed LGBTQ+ ally and photographer Anny Robert (@IamAnnyRobert) tweeted from his iPhone two pictures – one of him and the other of his friend, both of them having lunch at a restaurant in Lagos. Accompanied by this tweet was the caption “My view, His view, Love Wins *inserts rainbow emoji*.” The rainbow added for dramatic effect of course, because apart from photography, Mister Anny “do usually do comedy ear and dear.” The tweet garnered over 4000 likes and over 300 retweets (including quoted replies). Many of these engagements included homophobic people crying in his mentions, others tweeting in support, some laughing at the joke because they could tell that Anny was having fun. One may even argue that these were two men divesting from societal expectations and models of male friendships/interactions. Two men having brunch with such an intimate caption, instead of bonding at war with unwashed boxers! A big dub against the patriarchy, that.

The tweet may’ve seemed innocent, beautiful to see in fact, but when you realize that it was of two cis-heterosexual men in the picture, using queer lingo to frame their friendship, it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

The history of “Love Wins” dates back to June 26th 2015, after the US Supreme Court Ruling that required all states (by law) to allow same-sex couples marry and recognize same-sex marriages from other states. It was a historical event that saw many people on Twitter tweet in support using the hashtag #LoveWins. #LoveWins because, after many years, a pillar of institutionalized bigotry and violence may have been pulled down. #LoveWins because queer people, who decide to participate in monogamy via marriage, could finally do so. #LoveWins because queer people could now get protection under the law. #LoveWins because, for once, the age long battle with homophobia had been won. This is the origin, history, context and usage of the phrase.

It has NOTHING to do with heterosexual expressions, as people protected by heterosexuality have never been at war. They have never had to watch their existence being debated in 280 characters or more on a daily basis on Beyoncé’s internet. They have never had to perform heterosexuality for protection. They simply express. They simply carry out violence and have the law back them. This is because: to be protected by heterosexuality is to be violent. It is to enjoy privilege and maintain inequality. The invention of heterosexuality is violent by thought, design and application. So for a man who enjoys the protection to go ahead and caption his tweet “Love Wins” when he’s not subjected to homophobic violence is wicked, disrespectful and very colonialist. It was not only invasive; it was also tone deaf, because that tweet was expressed in the same space that #LoveWins originated from: Twitter.

#LoveWins and everything queer is not something to cosplay with. We are human beings, not ideologies that you pick and drop. Many of our queer brothers, sisters, parents, uncles, aunts, cousins and niblings have died for expressing. #LoveWins exists because of them. It is a testament to the history of violent homophobia. It’s an affirmation of our queerness, and those people who dwell on Mount Heteromanjaro should absolutely not use it. Queer framing of heterosexual relationships is peak privilege. Queer coding/baiting is a serious problem. TV shows and movies are guilty of this, so we will not be making it out to be some sort of minor inconvenience that we can just “let be”. It feeds into a larger system of structural homophobia. Adopting queerness for money or social currency is evil. Adopting queerness so you appeal to the LGBTQ+ audience, while not alienating your other audience, is cruel, and is exactly a byproduct of capitalism.

Positioning yourself as an ally and doing this makes it more hurtful, because, why are you guilty of expressing the very form of violence you are against? Why are you guilty of homophobia as an ally yourself? Allies should know their place and stay there. Queer people also need to understand why we must gatekeep queerness and queer culture (including language), because it is on the basis of our queerness that we’re murdered, prevented from employment, economically dispossessed, unhoused, raped and ridiculed. These things we do and say are why we are a target, so we cannot fold our arms and watch people protected by heterosexuality use our expressions for fun or, as they like to say, to “catch cruise”. Anny Roberts has since deleted his tweet and offered an apology to the community. We will continue to watch that space to determine if his apology is genuine.

Let us learn to demand more from our allies. The work they are doing is not enough. A lot of them are homophobic and just need a little push to unmask it. We should not applaud decency or accept the barest minimum.

Fuck homophobia.

Written by Big Bad Judy