P!nk On P!nk Crime
“To educate a man in mind and not morals is to educate a menace to society.”
These words by Theodore Roosevelt reverberated in my being, following the feedback that came in the wake of my “epistle”-like comment which mirrored my feelings and interpretation of the post that was nothing but a “joke”. Mistakes are supposed to be a common and a natural phenomenon with mankind, with a remediation tool manifesting dispel information or knowledge.
Effeminacy and being stereotyped rank as some of the beat-up topics on Kito Diaries. A touchy subject that rings true and relatable to a lot of gay men managed to become a source of jocularity on a platform that is supposed to kick against it. It’s easy to see the humor in the said post, but my malcontent stems from such jokes coming from a pro LGBT platform as well as the promotion of the hyper masculine narrative and dictation that the world has hung on our shoulders.
It’s easy to wave it off as “not that serious” and it being a joke, which makes the idea of crowing when next our army of effeminate sympathizers gathers in solidarity of a yet unknown young man, and his story of being laughed at and bullied because he appears or is effeminate. How his masculinity and virility got called into question on the premise of his feminine qualities. Asking me to wave this as nothing is like asking me to cut bullies and homophobes a slack when they make a joke about gay people, effeminacy, or stereotype gay men and the gay culture.
A hurricane of cusswords usually follows any gay man with a more masculine disposition who dares to try tell an effeminate man how he is lacking as a man. But all seems fair and acceptable when an effeminate man is wielding the tools of emasculation. Same applies to role archetypes and its interplays. Talk down to a man who identifies as a bottom, and you are bottom-shaming him. But it is business as usual when a bottom denigrates another or calls the masculinity of another a front, for the crimes of welcoming the male member into his system. Let’s not forget the lesbianism slur too.
Homophobia does not have to manifest in black and white for it to be called so. The constant need for gay men to tag other men gay as a way of emasculating them is a reflection of how we have bought into the narrative that having homosexual attractions or tendencies and sex automates to being less than a man. Hence the constant need to hunt and out others as well as how they like “it”, all in the name of spilling tea. We have always advocated for privacy and the principle of “mind your business” to people who have intrusive and antithetic agendas regarding our lives, yet we can’t apply the same rule in our dealings with others.
In recent weeks, names of people have been unceremoniously tossed and outed without their permission or knowledge in the comment section. The generation and spread of speculation and rumors about people’s sexuality as well as where their body parts have been has become a comely and a glorified practice. When someone wants to remain in the closet, I think it’s a decision that should be lionized and not snatched out of their hands. We are slowly morphing into the intrusive character called the Linda Ikeji Blog. You might not see it now because you are too busy drowning in tea.
This then begs the question, whether you would find it so humorous if it were your business and personal life that is floating around on the wreckage of speculation and rumors.
This is not intended as a disparagement of the capabilities of the blog’s administration or an eliciting of a verbal spat with any commenter; it is rather an attempt to point out an oversight in its management. Personally speaking, the photo post is nothing short of a blue joke and not a representation of the blog or a direction it should venture into. It’s one thing to have and whisper these stories and suspicions in private corners and groups, but to join and hold courts with other homophobic platforms that have hurt our kind in the past, is a telltale sign of the mental space we have allowed ourselves to drift into. I don’t care for bashing anyone, which is why I chose to take a walk rather that have a slash party in the comments. The message is built on doing and being better, so KD can do better. Individual commitment to a group effort – that’s what makes a team work, a company, a society, a civilization work.
Written by Peak
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27 Comments
ambivalentone
November 25, 07:59nice header picture. Very explanatory.???
Dontdropthathun
November 25, 08:35Loud it for them pls ??
Chizzie
November 25, 09:06Actually this is the one thing that irks me and I believe will be this blog’s ultimate waterloo. The fact that commenters are chastised or reprimanded for their comments. Might also explain the dwindling comments of late.
Ive said this so many times, that what sets a blog apart is not so much it’s content but the interaction in its comment section. It is what draws ppl back, what goes viral, what ignites revolutions and what brings change; Also any adult with comprehension or common sense should know that just because something is said in the comments doesn’t mean it is fact or true.
People need to realize first and foremost that this is a blog, not a kumbaya gathering for the homeless or whatever.
Comments can be moderated if they are abusive or homophobic as it is the general rule of thumb. But dt should be where it ends. Don’t tell people what to comment or Mummy them over their comments!
Mandy
November 25, 09:34Lol. Chizzie, don’t look too hard into your crystal ball. Cos the more you look, the less you’ll see. As a failed (but former) blogger, you ought to know that commenting isn’t an automatic translation of a blog’s longevity. All you people insinuating KD’s failure everyday in your comments will wait a long long time for that to happen. 😛
#KD3YearsAndStillWinning #RideOnPP
Pink Panther
November 25, 09:39Lol @ Mandy. Well, people will say anything to get you to cave and leave the path you’ve ordered for your progress to do it their own way. I endeavour to not let their presumptions bother me. My role is keep doing what I’m doing and ignore the background noise.
Mandy
November 25, 09:44??? Stick to your own formular and it’ll pay off. Don’t mind hypocrites who’ll today preach against those bashing Bobrisky for being true to himself and tomorrow castigate Denola Grey for being too girly.
Mitch
November 25, 09:08Truer sentiments have not been shared to my knowledge this week!
We have a responsibility to build each other up, not tear down.
Mandy
November 25, 09:30I was kind of expecting this. The thing is, Peak, the joke that day wasn’t really about effeminacy. It was about celebrity. We weren’t setting an example for the taunting of femme guys. We were following the order of society where celebrities are a target for the humour and interest of the commoners. It’s not fair but that’s what it is. That’s why there are paparazzi and tabloids, to see how far the public can take down these stars who’ve climbed so high. It’s what everyone does, including you, when it comes to everything celebrity. Guess what: fashion police is exactly like this; speculating on celebrity relationships, weighing in on their breakups, bashing their stage performances, mocking their public antics… these all fall into this category. Because it crossed lines with effeminacy doesn’t mean it was an LGBT thing. It was simply a celebrity thing.
It’s just that simple. Not deep at all.
PS: If tomorrow, some ‘masculine’ jackass comes on KD to denigrate femme guys, I’ll still roast him and not feel like a hypocrite.
Canis VY Majoris
November 25, 09:51“We were following the order of society where celebrities are a target for the humour and interest of the commoners.”
That’s how Donald Trump won the election. Keep it up.
Mandy
November 25, 10:09Everything now has a Donald Trump parallel. Pretty soon, one will drink water and drop cup and yall will find a way to relate it to a Donald Trump win.
Canis VY Majoris
November 25, 12:18Well it is recent and astonishing, of course it will have its moment in the sun, until something else overshadows it; fact of life & the same principle applies….whatever we resist, persists.
Peak
November 25, 13:52@Mandy, your said joke could easily have been what you called it…”a celebrity thing”. Unfortunately, ur celebrity thing would have been just that if it wasn’t dependent on the variable of effeminacy. Effeminacy became the qualifier and what made a not issue, a viral gist. So rationalise ur involvement all you want, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that KD has no place poking and making fun of issues that are peculiar to it’s readership. KD is biggerthan all of us as should set an example because we are all watching and following.
@ PP I love love love ur picture of choice **clapping** what a show of class.
Delle
November 25, 10:32The thing is you think Peter was being taunted for his feminine posture in that picture post, but I doubt that’s what happened. If for anything, he was being appraised (from the lot I read) for his nonchalance and courage. Others made a joke about how the man with him could be his sugar daddy. That in itself isn’t denigrating. They are just plastic humour based comments.
No one castigated his physical disposition. Calm down already. I wouldn’t be caught dead throwing cuss words at a supposed feminine man(hows that even rational?).
I believe the true reason the post was put up was lost on you.
Well this drew out an entry from you, wasn’t all cons then.
Haiku
November 25, 10:50Too much noise
Chuck
November 25, 12:43People in the closet should be lionized because? What are they doing that is so brave? Hiding?
This is the peak of hypocrisy.
Mandy
November 25, 12:48Very clever ending to your comment. ????
Mandy
November 25, 12:50But Chuck, are you out of the closet? #justasking
Chuck
November 25, 21:03Yes I am. But even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t think being in the closet was brave.
Peak
November 25, 13:41“When someone wants to remain in the closet, I think it’s a DECISION that should be lionized and not snatched out of their hands.”
There Chuck! The actual quote.
It’s public knowledge that you struggle with comprehension, so I took the liberty to quote myself appropriately, seeing that you are upto ur old tricks of fabricating things.
And incase u are struggling with the meaning of “lionize”, “honour or respect ” are close alternatives.
Knowing you, you will find another blear angle to push. So I will do you a solid and break it down to the simplest example possible.
KD is pretty much a closeted blog, and every idea to take it from an underground to mainstream blog has been shut down by its administrator and commenters who are its stakeholder. Respecting, honouring, celebration their DECISION is what it means to lionize…their DECISION.
You are welcome.
Chuck
November 25, 21:08You’re mistaken about the meaning of lionized.
Here it is:
give a lot of public attention and approval to (someone); treat as a celebrity.
Your arguments are inconsistent, illogical and invalid.
Colossus
November 25, 14:05Make I go see the post wey make Oga peak write this epistle
z
November 25, 15:13at a point in my life some years back, I felt I was the only one who was attracted to guys. I knew nobody who was like me in that aspect. going online and reading about celebrities who were gay even though closeted made me believe that there were very successful actors, business men, doctors, lawyers, scientists etc who were also attracted to same sex and I knew I could become one of them someday. my point perhaps is that talking about such things actually has helped lots of us realise that we are not alone and there are others like us out there who are quite successful and apparently doing well with their lives.
on another note, I do not believe there is such a thing as bad publicity. these people are in the spotlight and thrive from their names being in the news every other minute. so trust me I do not believe the gossip might hurt them as much as you think.
whew! I didn’t know I could write a comment this long.
Francis
November 25, 17:23@Peak you do realize it’s major hypocritical to say this kain “bashing” is okay on personal groups but not on this platform. Doesn’t make any sense to me at all.
I just think you guys are making noise over nothing. Even effeminate peeps are laffing over the matter sef. Biko live a little.
If you don’t want to be publicly scrutinized, get a job outside TV. Simple. I find it annoying when celebs bitch about loss of privacy etc. Bitch you signed up for that ish. Thank God for the likes of Adele that doesn’t give a shit and comes and goes as she pleases.
Jide
November 25, 21:15But really, Peak, is all this necessary? You’ve succeeded in resurrecting a forgotten issue while reminding everyone that you’re a know-it-all and a bore.
How do your real life friends cope with this your “I must always be right” attitude? I used to respect you but with every irrelevant argument you take on, that respect has started to wane.
No one likes a know-it-all, not every time frown, sometimes smile.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself, Pal.
pankar
November 25, 21:32Snce when did effeminacy become a bad thing? And the post in question? Its comments were largely based on individual speculations, not facts as someone rightly said. It was clearly for fun.
Bryce
November 27, 13:07This blog used to be a serious one,where real life issues affecting people are discussed.
Now,it’s just a little bit above a gossip rag.
Such a shame
Bryce
November 27, 13:46And that header picture?.
Quite petty of you,admin