RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 68)
Nearly every gay man I meet these days is an atheist, or at least claims to be one (many of them still shout Jesus Christ when we have a near collision in the car anyway lol). It is often portrayed that the people who don’t believe in God are the smart intellectuals with superiority over the vast majority of the populace who still move around in the opium daze of Christianity. There’s no far-fetched reason why more and more gay people are becoming atheist or at least agnostic; Christianity and Islam which are the main religions in this part of the world exclude them and the adherents often look at us as people firmly in the grip of Satan (or shaitan, if I may). In other climes, some denominations are moving towards acceptance of homosexuality, with even the Holy Father calling for some acceptance in the Catholic Church. (I do believe that the stance of Pope Francis is just posturing anyway, seeing as he welcomes the gay people into the church but won’t let them have matrimony [which we know is a sacrament] or grant them the allowance to be in the clergy. It’s almost like the church is saying to gay people: We are nice enough to let you in, so just sit down quietly and be grateful for the crumbs we give you. Don’t you dare ask for more.)
Before I get carried away, I’d like to point out that it is not the intent of this article to bash religion or proclaim (in the words of my darling Khaleesi) how people are religidiots and religitards. I just want to share some thoughts from my perspective as a Christian.
Quite a lot of my friends ask me if I am atheist and I tell them no. For starters, I am too lazy to be an atheist because there is so much reading to do before I am convinced that God does not exist. Ain’t nobody got that time. I currently have 32 books on my TBR (to be read) shelf, and I would much rather spend my time reading fiction than researching the non-existence of God. I believe in God last-last, but I have a problem with organized religion. I heard of a label recently which I had adopted — Cafeteria Catholic, which refers to someone who still believes in the Catholic Church but disagrees with some of its doctrines. I remember when Mummy Dearest gave them my number at our local parish and they added me to the CYON (Catholic Youth Organization of Nigeria) WhatsApp group. I left the group twice and I was added back twice; then I stayed mute until the day they were discussing doctrines, and I told them I support abortion, gay marriage, contraception, ordination of women and that I am against celibacy of the clergy. The administrator of the group removed me instantly. So much for free speech, LOL.
I still go to mass whenever I feel like, which really is not often. My last boyfriend was a choir boy, so he made me go a few times. But since we broke up, I can’t even be bothered to go to mass.
So anyway, I was doing some reading on homosexuality and Christianity and I came across a study of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. See eh, I don’t mean to offend anyone’s sensibilities, but there are so many stories in the bible that don’t add up, starting with that funny tale about Noah and his ark. I also think there were holes in this Sodom and Gomorrah story; on that matter, I came across this verse, Ezekiel 16:49 (NIV), which goes:
Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.
My first thought when I saw this was: Hmmmm! Sister Euphrasia who taught me catechism obviously lied to me. She made it clear that Sodom was destroyed because of homosexuality, which gave birth to the labeling of anal sex as sodomy. Could it be that the people who wrote the bible had their own narrative that they wanted to push?
However, before you shout “Aha!”, let me take you to Jude 1: 7:
And don’t forget Sodom and Gomorrah and their neighboring towns which were filled with immorality and every kind of sexual perversion. Those cities were destroyed by fire and serve as a warning of the eternal fire of God’s judgment.
Now notice that this passage says sexual perversion, but never really clarifies what sexual perversion is. For all we know, it could be bestiality, necrophilia or pedophilia. Could it be then that the people who wrote the bible took the liberty to embellish the facts? Some theologians argue that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for the same reasons Nineveh was destroyed, but curiously homosexuality was not mentioned in Nineveh. Some other theologians argue that there was no proof that the angels were even male, and that if the people of Sodom truly liked only men, Lot would not have offered his daughters to them (I won’t even debate the fact that rape was permissible from that passage).
Now again, before we shout “I knew it!”, remember that Leviticus 18: 22 expressly said that homosexuality is an abomination. However that part of the bible advocated so many horrible things which we ignore; for instance, unruly children ought to be put to death, a woman who loses her virginity before marriage ought to be stoned etc.
Where am I going with all of this? Patience please.
Now let’s skip to the new testament for a bit and jump to Romans 1: 25-27:
They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the creator who is forever praised amen. Because of this, God gave them over to their shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.
Now essentially this scripture tells us that because people dabbled into idolatry and materialism, they were punished with homosexuality, lol. The church people often do not read verse 25; they skip right to verse 26, because they know it makes no sense. So those of us who were born homosexual, at what point did we commit this transgression that we were sentenced to be liking preeq and nyash? Did we transgress in a former life? LOL! I am not angry that I was born gay o, I just detest that I am both gay and Nigerian; I mean, I could have been gay and British living on a farm in Nottingham with my 42-year-old husband, raising horses, LOL.
I do think that many parts of the bible were of course made up with the stories embellished. I also think that a lot that is in there is metaphorical, which is why when you read some of it and try to apply it literally, it makes no sense (I strongly recommend that you guys read Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta, that book dealt with some of these issues). We can see very obvious contradictions all over the bible; in one place for instance, the bible says before God, there was neither male nor female (paraphrasing now), but in another section, Paul (the famous misogynist) tells women not to talk in church. Remember that the same David who desired a woman and had her husband killed (at least as they told us) was the same person God referred to as a man after my own heart. Clearly the way Christians paint this God is not how He (or She) is.
I didn’t intend this to be a long piece, but I believe that it is okay to be a firm believer in Christianity or any other religion (while being gay) and it is also okay not to care. At the end of the day, I believe it all comes down to being a good person and not intentionally bringing harm to another human being. These two things are not relative. My friends have called me agnostic, some say I am an irreligious theist. You people know me, I don’t much care for labels, but my heart is always guided by John 13: 34:
A new commandment I give to you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
Please I don’t want to make this into another huge argument on religion, but on whatever side you stand, you surely can agree with me that we need more love in the world.
XOXO
DM
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47 Comments
Mandy
February 23, 08:04Your ending is everything. ?????
At the end of the day, all that matters, that should matter, is LOVE!
omiete
February 23, 08:29I am christian and I am Gay. sodom and gommorah was destroyed for their wickedness and pervasion on strangers. The part of romans that talk about unatural desires were talking about heteros who decided to experiment and its well known that paul was biased, he told women not to speak in church and to cover their hair…
osas
February 23, 09:04so oga DM, beautiful argument but you lacked depth or even knowledge of the scripture, because you can read does not make the scripture like any other text book, meanwhile this is not a law class, like you am Catholic and you need to go and understand how the scripture is to be read, have you not heard people go to Rome, Egypt, Jerusalem and some other places to study scripture. so I I thinking you are a decent fellow, but until you said you supported abortion I had to recheck what it meant to be decent, you should next time try to research better and make your argument without making your opponent look stupid, and so you know the church has been very supportive of the gay race and even ordained men who had come out as gay, so oga when you talk next time do well to be sure you are in order, meanwhile hope you slept well
IBK
February 23, 11:21This here is why I get headaches from arguments that involve religion..
Dennis Macaulay
February 23, 11:34My Dear Osas
I have no problems with people disagreeing with me however I would have preferred it if you put forward your own argument. I can’t seem to find any bearing or narrative in what you are saying and I don’t mean to be disrespectful. You saying I should travel to those places to study the scripture in other to have an opinion doesn’t make any sense. I like how despite all you said, you did not respond to the scriptures I quoted.
Anyway I slept well, thanks for asking
Mandy
February 23, 11:42‘…but until you said you supported abortion I had to recheck what it meant to be decent…’
I just want to understand that bit.
Delle
February 23, 11:54What are you saying? If after reading this post, you think it’s shallow and lacks depth (seeing as your argument was haphazard, I’m wondering if you know what depth is), then that’s your problem.
He was being objective but of course, you’d jump in without proper understanding because your faith has been threatened. I can’t deal abeg
Michael
February 23, 09:16“A new commandment I give to you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
The only commandment I try everyday to uphold.
Mandy
February 23, 11:49Something even most Christians seem not to be capable of. Everyone’s just too intolerant to love these days. Smh
ambivalentone
February 23, 09:24I remember telling my friend about my near crash and how I had yelled ‘Jesus’. He had the perfect answer. Years of indoctrination cannot simply be undone. Hymns are still my most preferred classicals for relaxation. Better than those symphonies and wordless compositions and Celtic meaninglessness New Age ppl seem to favor
Pjay
February 25, 16:15I also think that DM is a closet atheist and that there is such a thing as an atheist living in denial. Christian that tries to find holes in the Bible, the infallible word of God, is that one a Christian?
Gad
February 23, 09:58Aof scripture is inspired… “I have no doubt in my mind that the Bible is faultless. Im also convinced that the problems we have with understanding the scripture is because we try to interpret it literally. To say the least, a proffessor of theology or languages cannot understand scripture except with the guidance of the holy spirit. The reason why homosexuals claim atheism is known just as the unspoken reasons why atheists became atheists are no longer secret.
Delle
February 23, 11:57Huh?
Gaya
February 23, 10:07They have come again… so those of us without Holy Spirit shouldn’t read the Bible again because we’ll ķeep seeing Untold Facts abi??? Oya those of you with Holy Spirit, go and read those verses he quoted and comman tell us your own understanding…. #RollingEyes
Khaleesi
February 23, 10:52Wow, Dennis, this was beautifully put together. I have neither the time nor the energy to bash people’s religion .. I’ve simply got too much on my plate. I am not an atheist, I just can’t be, I have experienced God’s kindness and love too often to doubt that he exists. However, religion (which is different and distinct from God) as propounded by the religidiots/religitards (the vast majority of Nigeria) is mostly made up bullcrap. Spirituality is everything the rest is refined and refried bullcrap that’s been recycled for centuries yet largely fails to move with reality and is propped up and supported by an old book of Jewish folktales written in such vague language that it can be interpreted in dozens of ways to suit many purposes …
Dennis Macaulay
February 23, 11:29??? Mother of dragons, what ever shall I do without you
Mandy
February 23, 11:45What? No ‘opium’ in this comment? How is that possible? 😀
Francis
February 23, 13:09????
Francis
February 23, 13:02I was waiting for someone to come with that retarded as fuck line that one needs the guidance of the Holy Spirit to understand the bible and they didn’t disappoint at all.
Make una keep una holy spirit. We sha continue to read and interpret the bible however we see fit as the book of fairy tales that it is
.•*Sugaar.•*
February 23, 15:41Sombori sai baba…
????
Xoxo sannu da kokari. (Weldone)
phendee
February 23, 16:39Indeed we need more love here on earth
Chuck
February 23, 16:42In the past I’ve wondered why Chizzie attacked DM so much for “fakery”. Now I think it’s because DM is as much of a “willing participant” as the homophobes he keeps calling out here. He won’t examine atheism because it’s too much work, but he excoriates homophobes for not being informed or open minded. His “spirituality” not organized religion thing is also a fakeout. Christianity, the God it presents in the Bible etc. are all part of the Christian organized religion.
This is related to his position on MGM – it’s fine, don’t judge, etc. – but DM also wants everyone to love everyone and respect them. Inconsistency at best and hypocrisy at worst.
P.S. Remember when I pointed out that the Bible was clearly a collection of Jewish myths (like Sango and co) and Gad/TLC came for me? A bunch of folks here were on the “Bible is true” side.
Francis
February 23, 16:54Please how does not having time to explore atheism hurt anybody compared to not taking time to study LGBT issues and thereby hurting those affected?
Dennis Macaulay
February 23, 17:04??? Save your breath Francis, its no use. You only debate arguments that make sense
Chuck
February 23, 18:06Doesn’t religion, by grounding homophobia in its members, actually hurt people?
Y’all will keep defending these things sha
Francis
February 23, 18:08Bros your argument isn’t connecting today. No force am you hear
Chuck
February 23, 18:47when has any of my arguments “connected” with you?
My words speak for themselves. I notice you were unable to actually counter any of my points.
Francis
February 23, 19:54Just as you were unable to counter the one I raised ??? ??
DarkSide
February 24, 08:40Chuck, so after reading the article, all you could come up with is a comment that was ad hominem from beginning to and? Why did’t you just fault his position using logic? My God, I hope you are not this way in real life. I pity those who would have to endure you.
Duke
February 23, 17:29” I am not angry that I was born gay o, I just detest that I am both gay and Nigerian; I mean, I could have been gay and British living on a farm in Nottingham with my 42-year-old husband, raising horses, LOL.”
Me too, DM. Me too.
Duke
February 23, 17:44Any religion or parts of my religion that preaches any form of hate, i am taking time to remove from my life. It is a slow and difficult process, considering the length of time that these messages have been repeated and indoctrinated in my heart but i will break through.
Love is all we need.
Dimkpa
February 23, 19:50First of all, I don’t care what the ‘Holy Father’ thinks. If he does not say clearly what he thinks is right, then he has not helped anybody.
It does not take a lot of reading to be an atheist. The logic is really simple. Most of us profess the religion of our parents. How do we know that based on the accident of birth, our religion is the true one and all the others are fake. Do we actually believe we are that lucky? What justification do you have to tell someone of another faith that his/ hers is wrong when you both came about your beliefs the same way. What right has whatever God to judge anyone for not abandoning the religion of his birth. By numbers alone, the adherents of a particular religion are in the minority when compared to all others combined. Mathematically speaking the probability that that one religion is the true one is less than that of one of the others being the true one.
I find it confusing. when people start justifying anything based on religion as I consider the basis of such justification to be weak. It has to be proven first that the religion is real before basing anything on it. Most of the religions are based on books whose origins are questionable and which contain errors that make their claim to truth laughable. I challenge anyone to recreate the events described about Elijah and the prophets of Baal, though in our context we may make it God vs Amadioha or Sango or whatever. If fire truly comes from the sky to consume the offering of God, then I willl believe.
“I do think that many parts of the bible were of course made up with the stories embellished”… if this be the case how do we know which is embellishment and which is real. Is it not possible that all the scriptures quoted in this piece to justify whatever view point could be embellishments?
I understand that it is difficult to shake off things we have been told since we were young however when an organisation calls you fundamentally disordered (like the catholic church has), I would think the thing to do would be to examine those beliefs. However here we welcome such insults in the name of belief. Christianity and other religions have been responsible for sorrow and grief anongst the LGBTIQ…etc community and it has driven many to suicide. Yet instead of showing solidarity with our fellow community members we champion religion and for what? To go to a heaven where you can’t even have sex (the muslim heaven got something right at least except gay sex is not allowed).
Mandy
February 23, 20:42No, Dimkpa, don’t do that. It’s not an either-or situation. Championing religion and showing solidarity for the LGBT community… They are not mutually exclusive. Believe it or not, it is entirely possible for one to be a bible believing gay man and still rep the gay community genuinely. Christendum is afterall well versed in cherry-picking through its scriptures to survive, to carry along. So the gay Christian may as well cherry-pick through the verses that condemn him and focus on the love of Christ. He should not be denied his need for that belief.
See, I’m not religious myself, but I believe that everyone has something they believe in, something that centres them. God. Love. Family. Career. A soul mate. You pick yours. I pick mine. And as long as you’re not messing me up with yours, then why can’t we all live and let live.
You are being militantly disparaging of the gay Christian. How does that not make you a hypocrite when you preach these words: “…What justification do you have to tell someone of another faith that his/ hers is wrong when you both came about your beliefs the same way…”
Well? I’m asking you now: What justification have YOU?
Francis
February 23, 20:44This right here. Thanks Mandy though I found some of dimkpa’s statements hilarious ??
Pink Panther
February 23, 20:48?????
Dimkpa
February 23, 22:07Firstly in writing about justification, I was trying to point out all religions are the same and that no one can claim superiority of his religion because he, like everyone else, acquired his religion just by accident of birth. As for being able to call people out on religion, I am not a hypocrite and my justification is this: There is no objective evidence for the existence of God or the supernatural. Even the religious know this and that is why they fall back on ‘faith’ which is no evidence at all. I can defend this anywhere and I know it is true. I do not hold these beliefs based on faith but from applying logic and sound arguments and if tomorrow I come across a convincing argument as to the existence of God, like with the prophets of Baal, I will believe. Our forefathers accepted it because it was tied to education and development and not because it had superior arguments.
I am not disparaging anyone or any argument. I believe that on this blog I have defended the right of gay men to be priests just like straight men in the interest of equality. (I remember that some on this blog sided with the church on considering gay men unfit to be priests). However if we are going to embark on a quest for understanding, we ought to start from the beginning. You cannot prove something using an argument that is questionable. To make a valid argument the premise for the arguments must be true and coherent. Assuming the bible is fact is wrong and therefore whatever argument based on it is not valid. The bible says there was light before the sun and moon was created. Cain married a wife that no one knows where she came from. It also claims the earth is flat and has corners. Is a book that makes such obviously wrong statements worth basing an argument on? Moreso when such book both asserts and proves at the same time.
Secondly religion and its influence has caused a lot of problems for the LGBT. They are not addressing this issue. They close their eyes to it and choose not to acknowledge the evil they perpetrate. I will make no apologies for arguing that it is not a force for good where we are concerned. A great deal of homophobia has its origin in religion and no one here needs to be reminded of the effects of homophobia. This blog is named after one such effect. Therefore I will be unabashed in making my views known. An Igbo proverb says “ita m aru n’isi ezeghi uburu, m taa gi n’ike, agaghi m eze nsi” (if you bite my head without considering my brain, if i bite you in the ass, i won’t care about shit… you get the idea). I will not sugar coat my views so as not to hurt anyone’s religious sensibilities especially if the person in question will not go back to his church and tell them that their homophobia is killing people.
One of the greatest tragedies I see is when people are so fixed on the supernatural/ spiritual that it hinders their ability to live the life they have to the full.
Chuck
February 24, 01:32Well said, Dimkpa.
To add to your comment: Atheism is not a religion.
MagDiva
February 24, 07:49Every damn thing he said ??????
DarkSide
February 24, 08:58The fact that there is no evidence that God exists is not sufficient proof that he does not exist. Speaking about “evidence” when it comes to God makes it seem like this is an experimental set-up, where tests have been conducted and “no evidence” was found. “There is God” is not a testable hypothesis and falls outside the scope of science, which deals with testable hypothesis. A thing that is real, if not proven, is still real. You can of course say that you don’t believe in God, and as a man of science who believes in the scientific method, you are justified. But you simply DONT KNOW for a fact if God exists or not. The earth remained round all those years man believed it was flat. The ignorance of a human being cannot alter reality. And it’s funny when we act like theists are stupid because they believe fictions, when the fact is that human society is loaded with fictions it has created and believes in them more than its theists believe in God. I give you an example. Borders of countries. Purely fictional. They have no existence anywhere in the actual world, only inside the human mind. And we go to wars and die in droves because of them. We all believe one fiction or another. and that’s what it is
Chuck
February 24, 23:201. Why should the starting assumption be that God exists? There is no evidence for it, which is evidence that God doesn’t do anything either way.
2. Spherical earth is not a good analogy for your “God is real but we can’t prove it” position. The Greeks and Phoenicians of antiquity observed phenomena consistent with a spherical earth. It was not a widely held opinion – thanks in part to religion, by the way. Does the situation where a few people hold a belief consistent with observable phenomena ( position of the sun and stars at different locations, etc) while the majority insist that a belief trumps those phenomena ring any bells for you? Hmm.
3. National borders are not fictional. WTF? That’s like saying that longitudes and latitudes are not real because we can’t see them, or that the word “family” is fake because there’s no stamp on your skin saying what family you are a member of. You do know things can exist without being tangible, right? I don’t think you know what fictional means.
Mandevillium
February 23, 21:34No matter how many times religion/faith teaching is brought up in a conversation between believers and those who do not/partially believe, they will always be at loggerheads. Why? Because everything written in all the religious texts is and will always be subject to personal interpretation. Using the bible as a reference, as it is the one I’m most familiar with, for the first 1800+ years of Christianity, the bible justified slavery. Two hundred years later, it abhors it in strict terms. For 1900+ years, most of its adherents justified misogyny and female disenfranchisement (possibly still going on) based on its teachings. Now it, in most places, supports women’s rights. It seems it’s interpretation is determined by the times. It was used to condemn gay relationships for two millennia. Now it’s an advocate for it (depending on which countries you look at it from). Even works of fiction, movies, lyrics and plays are interpreted differently by different people. Only the novelist, playwrite or lyricist knows the true intent of what was penned down and the context in which it was written. Those claiming that you need the Holy Spirit to interprete the scriptures should realise that the interpretation which said Spirit gives to Adele isn’t the same which was shown to Lionel Richie but we know both sang a song titled ‘Hello’. So, quit trying to force feed people your interpretation because in two minutes, the same words would change meaning even to you. Like DM said, love is the most important thing but note that the only thing that is constant is change as even love can be interpreted differently.
PS, it’s better to be a humane atheist than a hypocritical Christian. Afterall, the same bible said Christ died for those who believed and those who don’t and, you will be judged by your actions not your beliefs. So, give it a rest and do unto your fellow man what you want done to you.
Pink Panther
February 23, 21:43??
Bain
February 23, 21:36DM,being an athiest doesn’t really need intellect.. your post already says your well on your way to atheism….
it all starts with ‘questions’,and when you don’t get answers,or you get answers that don’t make sense,you’ll start seeking views of like minds on the bases of religiosity….when you realise it all just don’t make no sense… you’ll become an atheist without realizing it.
it all starts with ‘questions’, like the beautiful ones on your post.
p.s,keep reading the bible till you see its true nonsenseikality.
osas
February 24, 00:42Well so much said by plenty people, the thing is i insist that most persons talk the way they do because they are under informed, and DM, you sound grossly informed about the bible and the catholic church, if the custodian of sacred scriptures has said this is how you read the scripture, but no because you have a bsc and msc from a nigerian school, you want to still be heard, you want to make the other feel stupid, then you will do that to thosewho have time to argue, today i have come to tell you that me i believe in God, i have evidence not to doubt, again i believe because that is the way i was brought up. you should know now that the catholic church is going through a full blown civil war on doctrine and some pertains to the LGBT community and its championed by men of upright records, DM dont you feel you are just venting your anger because you can get your way on this, you have to accept what obtains, the church cannot cave for you. i guess good morning is in order”.
DarkSide
February 24, 09:03Dear friend, what you must realise is that people have a right to think inside their heads (believe) whatever they like. You can argue with them but don’t take it personal. People will criticize your religion. Make your peace with it.
cedar
February 26, 01:26dis just cleared some cobwebs in my fuzzy head but mind u, am still goyin 2 drag my black ass 2 church 2moro 2 sing in d choir 2 my God.
deVries
March 04, 17:44These gay guys are so knowledgeable and articulate. All the ones I know,just want to fuck me. I’m sad now!