Still In Lust With The Man Who Kitoed Me

Still In Lust With The Man Who Kitoed Me

Growing up, I had a huge crush on Dubem.

Dubem was every definition of a beautiful man. Dark, muscular, athletic, with the most beautiful set of sparkling white teeth.

I came from a privileged background, and he and his gang were part of those street urchins your mum never wants you to associate with. They lounged around the borehole where we fetched water, smoking like chimneys.

Being an effeminate boy, I was often the object of their mockery. The would constantly scoff at me with different names like “omeka nwanyi” and “boy-girl”. Eventually though, I ceased to be so fascinating and they got bored or tired. Dubem however suddenly wanted to be my friend. He was feared in the area, so he used his influence to get me to fetch water before others and no one dared challenged him.

Eventually he proceeded to flirting with me, calling me his wife and using all sorts of endearment on me. I was half in love with him at this point.

And then, he invited me to his house. Upon getting the invitation, my mind came alive with endless possibilities of what his intentions were for me – for my virgin self. My sexual experience at this point was just a couple of hand jobs and sucking of nipples. So, imagine how elated I was that this hunk was going to deflower me.

I lied to my parents that evening, told them I was going for a crusade to pray for my admission. And then I set off for Dubem’s. soon, I got to his compound, and then into his flat. He welcomed me, clad in very white skimpy boxers which didn’t do much to hide his very visible, large penis. His chest was bare and ripped and glistened like a black porn star about to get into action.

He told me to have a seat and asked me what I wanted to drink. I declined the offer for a drink, suddenly feeling nervous and skeptical at this point. He left the place where he was seated and came and sat beside me. I could feel the heat of his body and was getting heady from inhaling the beautiful manly fragrance emanating from his incredibly hot body.

He held my face, like he was about to plant a kiss, then seconds later, an outburst of laughter broke out in the room. Startled, I jerked away from Dubem and looked around in horror.

The whole gang was in house.

The most menacing amongst them, who could pass as their unofficial leader, came forward and said to me, “You come fuck, abi? Oya, pay fuck money!”

They were all over me with their scorn the entire night; they didn’t beat me, but they roughed me up some, with Dubem intervening and asking them to take it easy on me. They stripped me naked and recorded me, claiming that they’d post it on Twitter and Facebook. That is, if I didn’t come up with something by the next day.

They took my phone and my wristwatch and tied me up by the door, when they had to retire for the night. Around 5 am, they released me, telling me to tell my parents I was robbed at the crusade centre.

Still petrified with the fear of being exposed through their threat of posting the recording of me on the social media, instead of going on home, I went straight to the bank to withdraw the last cash I had on me, which was 100 grand, a gift from an uncle. When I returned to them with the money, that leader protested; he had demanded for more. The others were just pleased I’d come back with this much money and prevailed on him. So, then he sent me off with the warning that he should ever catch me flirting with any guy, they would release the recording.

That was the last time I would see a Dubem in a long time.

There were conflicting details about his whereabouts as the days turned into months and into years. Some had it that he went to be an apprentice in Lagos. Others said he went to South Africa to do drugs. Whichever was the case, I was relieved he was out of my life.

I put the incident behind me, got an admission, graduated with top honors and through the help of my uncle, got employment with a respectable company.

Two years into my job, the company transferred me to their new branch at Awka. I was looking for a new apartment when I walked into this very beautiful compound. The compound had everything I needed but the rent for an apartment there was on the high side. I was negotiating with the caretaker when he informed me that the landlord, who lives abroad, was around. I asked to meet him and, lo and behold, it was Dubem. Even more handsome than I remembered. His body was still chiseled and ripped, but now with a bit of flesh.

He hugged me like I was some long-lost brother. This is the same person who had a knife to my throat the last time I saw him. He said I should stick around, that he’d like to have a drink with me. I don’t know what kept me, what made me override the resentment I was supposed to feel – and I stayed, waiting for him till he was done supervising what he’d come to the compound to check on. Then he came to me, placed one of his muscular arms around my shoulders and led me to his car, a Range Rover.

We went to a nearby hotel where some men – people who worked with him, by the looks of it – were already seated and drinking lavishly. He introduced me as his cousin and asked me to order anything I wanted. Champagnes were sparged, chickens were devoured. I quickly noticed that when they wanted to exclude me from whatever conversation was between them, they spoke with code, and only included me in the mundane parts of their conversations.

It was getting late and I made to leave. Dubem asked me to relax, that he had rented a suite and we could retire to it together for the night. I had to swallow hard at this invitation, trying hard not to remember the first time he’d invited me to his personal space.

Eventually, at about midnight, his company departed and we made our way to his palatial hotel room. Ensconced inside the room, he told me he needed to shower as he’d been running around since morning. I watched him casually undress before me like it was the most natural thing in the world, his taut, muscled ass jiggling as he strolled powerfully to the bathroom while humming to himself.

By this time, I was fighting hard to suppress my mounting erection. My throat was dry. And my heartbeat was escalating to a roar.

A few minutes later, he stepped out back into the room. He was drying himself with a towel. His enormously-large penis was bouncing casually in plain sight. After drying himself, he proceeded to wear a very skimpy brief that really left nothing to the imagination. And then he lay on the bed.

And thus ended the unintended striptease I’d just bene subjected to.

We started making small talk. He asked me about my parents, asked if I still kept in touch with anyone from our neighbourhood, asked me what I’d been doing so far, was impressed with my grades, said he’d always known I was intelligent.

I noticed he never asked me about my dating life, if I was seeing anyone or planning to get married.

After sometime, the conversation switched to him. Life hadn’t always been rosy for him, he said. He told me about how he was among the boys who hustled to survive, and how he went to prison. He left out major things from his narration, like what his hustle was. It was drugs. But he didn’t have to say it. He spoke with his eyes and he knew I understood everything, even the things he chose not to talk about.

We were spent. I made to lie on the coach, but he told me to come to the bed. That he used to share a bed with about twenty guys and had no issue sleeping on the same bed with a guy. And so, we slept.

In the morning, he was all dressed up. He told me he had to be in Enugu to supervise the house he was building there. Then he called the caretaker of his house and asked him to give me a favorable discount. Thereafter, he drove me to the fast food joint where I’d parked my car and bade me goodbye.

As I was drove back to my parents’ house that morning, I thought about the kid that held a knife to my throat and robbed me of my valuables. I thought about the scoundrel who joined his mates in stripping me of my dignity.

Then I thought about the man with a past. The incredibly attractive man with a tight, black ass, who walked about naked with utmost self-confidence. I thought about the arrogant bounce of his enormously large dick. I thought about his laughter that reverberated throughout the room and his beautiful smile hadn’t changed.

I hadn’t asked for his number. And he didn’t ask for mine either.

But as I drove to my parents’ house that morning to begin preparations to move into my new apartment, I knew one thing for sure: I was still very much in lust with the man who kitoed me. And maybe a little in love with him too.

Written by Song Taehee

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Ok so where do I start? I was about 13 when I was caught with a friend from church. This friend was gay and had come to see me, and


  1. sinnex
    November 23, 04:41 Reply


    Only few people can understand what you feel.

  2. Sharp
    November 23, 05:11 Reply

    They will soon use you for ritual… Be there falling in love… mitschewwww

    • Bhawscity
      November 23, 07:34 Reply

      This early morning? Haha naa!! If you haven’t been there, you won’t know!
      Almost the same as loving someone you know that won’t ever notice you sef.

    • Facade
      November 23, 11:24 Reply

      How can you equate crushing on someone to loving someone that hurt n blackmailed you in the past n never apologized for it?
      Assuming dubem apologized n now he’s having all these feeling, I would’ve understood what he’s feeling

    • Bebe
      November 25, 07:52 Reply

      Bless you. He has seen dick and fine body and has gotten confused again. Mere onwe gi ebere

  3. Bhawscity
    November 23, 07:37 Reply

    He might be gay or bi at least but did what he did because of peer pressure. He wouldn’t want to be the odd ball in his clique, so he had to improvise. If you haven’t gotten over the abuse, I suggest you get his number and talk to him about it, a scolding talk down if necessary.

    • Pink Panther
      November 23, 07:41 Reply

      The ending part of your comment, I agree with completely. Song Taehee needs to make that Dubem confront what he did to him. Unless he has no interest in furthering their friendship. But if there’s going to be any future where they’re still in each other’s lives, Dubem has got to apologize. They need to talk about what he did to Song.

      • Bhawscity
        November 23, 07:50 Reply

        Huny, even if they don’t want to have a friendship(they might because it would be weird if the landlord comes home and starts acting weird for one of his tenants), he should address it. I know first hand what such situations entails(story for another day shaa).

    • Facade
      November 23, 11:28 Reply

      Bhawscity How can you seriously have this assumption for someone who held a knife to ur neck, blackmailed you, robbed you n this was after he pretended to be your friend for quite sometime and NEVER apologized for what he did when you guys finally reconnected?

    • Patrick
      November 23, 16:38 Reply

      No Bhawscity.
      There’s not even the slightest indication that Dubem is gay or Bi. His rationale for inviting Song Taehee to bed was that he had shared bed with several guys. He didn’t even collect his number. He had not seen the author in years and he didn’t even collect his number. Not a good sign there Taehee.
      Whatever you do, make sure to confront him with what he did. And don’t be surprised if you don’t get an apology.

  4. Chiedozie
    November 23, 07:40 Reply

    See ehn, all man and his own. People thrive on and nourish dysfunction for their own reasons, or lack thereof.
    I can’t imagine staying the night at the hotel room of someone who’d hurt and betrayed me like this, except it’s to maul him in the middle of the night. Just hope for his sake he doesn’t get hurt again, or worse.

  5. Queen Blue Fox
    November 23, 08:46 Reply

    I totally understand this. Because not so long ago I’ve actually had sex with someone who blackmailed me for a while till I fought back when i was in my second year in Uni. We were classmates in secondary school. After the incident he begged for my forgiveness from 2012 till 2017 this year when we finally fucked. We have again sinc too.
    And guess what I made him confront what happened and I realized I was a means of survival at that time but he has come alomg way in recent times.

    So in essence this friendship or whatever you two are gonna have can only work if you confront the past and know where you two stand.

  6. Jinchuriki
    November 23, 09:27 Reply

    Song Teehee. It’s okay to still have those feelings. Don’t be ashamed that you still lust after Dubem. A lot of people won’t understand what it’s like, but I get it. Be careful though, he’s still capable of repeating another Kito incident.

  7. Arinze
    November 23, 09:55 Reply

    I can see how anger can dull after years but for it to entirely disappear? That’s something. I can also understand forgiveness, but this Dubem guy did not even act as though he remembers and is sorry for his violent past action and yet he boldly asks the dude to sleep over. That is the first sign of toxicity. The other sign is the intentional uncertainty that he threw this guy into, strutting naked and disappearing without making a move. That in itself is manipulative, tilts the power further to his side because you become confused in your desire and so he can do with it what he wants, even if he decides to fuck you. This is how abusive relationships begin, and by abusive I mean mental abuse (maybe physical too). The fact of their past makes this last point even more fraught.

  8. Keredim
    November 23, 10:18 Reply

    “He might be gay or bi at least…..”

    Or he could be straight & comfortable with his sexuality and has no qualms about waving his dick in front of other men.

    • Patrick
      November 23, 16:45 Reply

      Very True. This, I think, is the most probable situation.
      We all want the hot straight men in our lives to be gay or bi, but sooner or later we’ll have to come to terms with their straightness.

  9. DeadlyDarius
    November 23, 10:19 Reply

    There was a certain American man. His ideals were strong…his resolve was true.

    No country’s laws or potential health risk would hold him back.

    A volley of arrows would not make him relent. He would fulfill his goal on a remote Indian island.

    Dear Song Taehee, if you give in to the lust that you have, you will find what you are looking for. There is a thin line between bravery and idiocy. Do not cross it.

  10. realme
    November 23, 10:39 Reply

    he seriously didn’t apologise…see ehn I was going to say every man with his own taste and wants..and Waka ..but no… having feels for a man like these guy…is a huge NO and a clearly written stupidity

  11. Facade
    November 23, 11:15 Reply

    Did he talk about it? Did he seem remorseful? Did he apologize??? NO
    All he did was strip tease n passively seduce you. Boy he’s an ass, ditch him

  12. Canis VY Majoris
    November 23, 12:04 Reply

    Dubem strikes me as an expert carpet sweeper with selective amnesia. May be a fallout of his time in prison. People are capable of intentionally forgetting the dark times of their lives, so it’s possible he doesn’t remember that day.

    However if you intend to remain in contact with him, you’d need closure and an apology. But my advice is don’t…let it and him go altogether.

    No good would come out of this alliance.

  13. Ace
    November 23, 12:30 Reply

    Anyone capable of the arrogance Dubem has exhibited, to make all those requests after he did, has something deeply wrong with them. I’m almost a 100% sure that he remembers what he did to you, the fact that he remembered you enough to be comfortable asking you to his room, have you in the same bed with him, strip in front of you, that’s not run-of-the-mill sexual confidence unless he’s an exhibitionist (which in itself might be another sign of trouble).

    The scenario you have described seems to me like a classic case of power play, he held most if not all the power during your time together and acted like nothing was going on while you agonized silently. He had your time, your attention, your answers to his questions, your confusion, and now he is about to have your tenancy (done as a favour). This doesn’t ring right and looks to me like he’s messing with you.

    I suggest you take back some of that power by confronting him over what he did to you, provided you feel safe and ready that is. If he remembers, that’s a red flag and if he doesn’t, that’s a bad sign too; it takes a certain kind of person to selectively forget pulling a knife on another human being amongst other things.

    Please tread very carefully so you don’t get involved with a potential malignant narcissist.

    I can relate to feeling something for someone who’s hurt you terribly before, we’re human after all but sometimes we have to kick those pesky amygdala filtered neural impulses and make realistic judgement calls no matter how hard it may be.

    P.s the fact that he stripped in front of you doesn’t make any definitive conclusions about his sexual orientation, some people genuinely enjoy messing with other people and he’s toyed with your emotions before.

  14. Sisi
    November 23, 13:16 Reply

    This is a very brilliant one and I feel for u tho…

  15. Francis
    November 23, 13:26 Reply

    Na beating you chop last time. This time around na police cell or bush fit get you as unsuspecting mule or sacrifice ?‍♂️ ? ?

  16. Malik
    November 23, 14:28 Reply

    They’ve said it all. In summary, don’t do it.

  17. Dippo
    November 23, 14:40 Reply

    My take is….. this guy has exhibited that he is not a person to have around. Firstly he kitoed you, secondly he is into drugs, thirdly he isn’t remorseful and didn’t even apologize for his actions. Man, his ills are too many. It’s a fucking red Flag. Judging by the picture your writeup portrayed of you, you can’t mix up with such a person. Anyone who can do drugs can kill and die without flinching. I understand that ur lusting after his body, that’s so normal cos ur hormones don’t seek our permission to act. My advice is thus, don’t rent his house , stay away from him. Get a hunkier person who’s gay, have the sex u crave from his figure and kill this crush. Dude remains dangerous to the world and worse even to you .

  18. Dickson Clement
    November 23, 14:47 Reply

    There is no manual to life-
    Different things happen to different people differently – these are words my mother will repeatedly say when I narrate my struggles and fears about life to her!

    For the first part, You really cannot judge people completely from their past and you cannot as well forget the deeds of yester years. People change, they grow up, they mature. It is a common knowledge that most adolescent homophobes are gaymen who are fighting their demons.

    Secondly, people mature in their ruthless schemes. A more delicate plot that can totally encapsulate and destroy their target. A prison yard can change a man, and if he is into drugs as you suggest , why in the hell are you even developing an ounce of emotion for him?

    No one can tell you what is right here- there are countless possibilities. All I can say is be careful because its devastating when you make the same mistake twice.

  19. Law9
    November 23, 15:07 Reply

    Your best friend can be your warst foe nd love is pain becareful now.

  20. J
    November 23, 15:41 Reply

    Honey you have to stay in that house for free and enjoy that dick while it lasts you deserve it… I repeat do not pay for the rent. He should pay for his sins, no forgiveness. Make him suffer, drag him until he takes off on his heels

    • Keredim
      November 23, 18:41 Reply

      Ah ah,

      Ms J of the House of Moralista.

      Your self imposed exile, didn’t last long.

      Welcome back.

      • J
        November 23, 23:50 Reply

        Your case is in high court ???

  21. Bebe
    November 25, 07:59 Reply

    Run. Run would far. Do not stay in his house, do not sleep with him. Just run

  22. mike
    November 26, 13:59 Reply

    Lol, simply put, the thing way dey worry yhu, no get name.
    RUN !, yhu think drugs is the only thing nigerians hustle out there, the word is synonymous with alot of dangerous things niggas get there hands into, and pushing drugs is most polite n reasonable on that list.
    Yhur liver / kidney goes for about 1 million naira in dubai, 21st century human traffic , organ theft is still very active. If yhur lucky to be alive you’d be made into a modern day slave, sex slave if it suits yhur fancy.
    Real life close encounter long story.

    Pushing drugs is really very polite.
    keep yhur distance that thing way dey worry yhu,watch porn or go 4 deliverance.
    I prefer a mad person to a psychopath/sociopath anytym anyday,
    Cause a sociopath/psychopath is capable of normal everyday human interactions, hug, smile, sex they can pass for normal anytym, buh their minds, inhibitions and empathy is long gone, they wud/can do anything cause they’re no different than animals just reacting to base survival instincts.

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