Straight Guy Confused By His Feelings For Best Friend
We’ll use the term “straight” loosely here, but perhaps it’s best to do away with labels entirely when considering how an anonymous Redditor came to crush hard on his male best friend.
In a plea for advice, this self-identifying “straight bro” shared his relationship issues — namely that his girlfriend isn’t keen on how close he is to his best bud “Shawn.”
Actually, it’s been a real source of contention.
‘What we seem to argue about most is my friendship with the other guy in our group. Ill call him Shawn. Shawn is someone I clicked with instantly, we have a ton of common interests and the same sense of humor and when were together we spend half of the time finishing each others sentences. Hes the type of person where I cant make eye contact with him sometimes because I know we’ll both end up laughing for ten minutes. My kinda girlfriend refers to him as “the other woman”.
‘She doesn’t like how close we are. She constantly complains that I talk to him more than her because we usually play video games online together in the evening even though we have both invited her to join. Shawn and I recently spent two weeks of out vacation together in Thailand ( GF didn’t have vacation days at the same time) and she was furious that I didn’t come stay in her apartment while she worked for my time off.’
Trouble in paradise.
But the plot thickens as he describes his friendship with Shawn further.
‘Shawn is openly gay and after our holiday I’ve realised that I might have some feelings for him. This is confusing the hell out of me. He’s pretty much my best friend in the world and I’m not entirely single but I can’t really deny t anymore. We spent half of our time on vacation just spooning in our room which is fairly normal for us but it felt different to me this time.
‘I’ve never been interested in a guy in this way before. I’ve always considered myself straight. I’ve dated a few girls and I’m pretty sure I was in love with one of them but this is making me question everything.’
Many wrote in with advice, mostly of the “break up with your girlfriend and explore your new feelings” variety.
In a follow-up post, he cleared up a few details.
On the physical side of things:
‘A [physical] relationship with Shawn is something that I have no idea about. Im not usually attracted to men, its never happened before but i do find myself attracted to him physically. I have found myself thinking about it from time to time not sure if I’d call it fantasizing though. I dont know if I’d be into it but I’m willing to at least try. I’d be a bit out of my comfort zone but I think I could do it if we went slowly.’
As for how he’s going to move forward:
‘I guess I’ll wait and see a bit longer with Shawn. I don’t want to be the guy who breaks up with one person then tries to start something with their friend the next day and if something is going to happen I dont want to rush it. Also I have no clue how to even approach it so this will give me some time to think about that. I’d like to be able to just talk it out with him but that also sounds a little terrifying. I think he’d go for it, i know he hasnt really dated anyone seriously since we arrived here and he once mentioned that he thought I was attractive when we first met and done the occasional joking “If you were just into dudes we’d be set for life” type thing when we’re out. I know its not much to go on and he’d had a few drinks but I’m taking that as a positive sign that he at least isnt repulsed by the idea.’
Well, this won’t come as a shock to anyone, but for what it’s worth — we say go for it!
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15 Comments
Magdiva
February 17, 06:08A clear case of Jiro’laria
Max 2.1
February 17, 07:08“We spent half of our time on vacation just spooning in our room which is fairly normal for us” ..
Ummm, spooning your best friend (since you’re supposed to be straight) isn’t normal. Maybe you’re just a bisexual waiting to bloom, or you’re just bi-curious.
Mr. Anonymous
February 17, 07:36What are you talking about? I’m gay and I spoon with my best friend, who is a girl btw, all the time. It’s like one of the most normal things we do.
Max 2.1
February 17, 08:03Are you sure we read the same piece?
The best friend is a man and that makes all the difference.
Francis
February 17, 15:34Lol. So Mr Anonymous is straight/bi for spooning with a chica?
Jamie
February 17, 08:29LOL… Dear whoever that is, you’re totally confused in the complete sense of the word ”Confused”. Stop thinking and worrying, cos noone knows what you’re really thinking. If you want it, get it; if you’re scared to try, leave it; all’s your choice to make. But don’t break a brotha’s heart please…
bruno
February 17, 09:53I don’t understand these bi curious/confused/late bloomer types… how blunt does your sense of self awareness have to be to not have figured out which gender(s) you are attached to by puberty.
I suppose we’ll be having stories as long heterosexuality is the norm and the default expectation of the society.
ambivalentone
February 17, 10:17While spooning with ur best friend isn’t acceptably straight around these parts, I have no idea whats obtainable where you are from.
Your GF is a nagging bitch and I got bored with ur narrative at some point so I cannot say if you love her or not. But I really suggest u devote more time to her. Plus, if its only Shawn u think your loving translates to your being gay, RELAX. Countless have been in your shoes and it didn’t change their orientation…well, until u start gushing over other men’s crotches and rippling muscles, I think u r still safe, snuggled and comfy in ur heterosexuality
Candy Man
February 17, 12:13Your lady needs to chill. As for the best friend part, just do it and quit fantasizing. Life is too short to wait.
grass
February 17, 15:40is there any gay guy that hasn’t had sex with their best friends?? if u haven’t then u are ….!!
ambivalentone
February 17, 16:01…u are…..? *raised eyebrow*
Max 2.1
February 17, 16:20I’m gay and I haven’t had sex with my best friend!!
grass
February 17, 18:01really max? well, with your anti-hoe ministry here,I’m not surprised! i have like 5 male besties and other male friends, and I’ve gotten naughty with all of them, just that they grow tired of it and go back to pussyville… sigh.
Max 2.1
February 17, 20:10Maybe you should focus your energy on getting a “gay” boyfriend instead of hunting your “straight” best friends at night.
michael
February 17, 18:54Me too. Oh, except I don’t have any best friend yet