STRAIGHT TALK ON GAY SEX

The following is a Facebook post by Bill Flavell where he interrogates the issue of why gay sex (that is, the sexual intimacy between two men) causes so much discomfort amongst straight men.

Check on it.

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There’s a recurring theme when I discuss gay rights with my religious African friends. They cannot see gay rights as an issue of human rights and fairness because they cannot get past the hurdle of gay sex. They are disgusted and horrified at the thought of men having sex with men (strangely, they are not quite so bothered by the thought of women having sex with women).

These friends will not be able to progress in their thinking until they get past this issue, so I will devote this post to that topic.

But before I start, I would like to make it crystal clear. Gay sex should not be an issue for anyone (except gay people). I really do not care what consenting adults do in privacy of their own bedrooms. It’s none of my business and it should be none of yours.

Nor do I have much truck with liberals who say, “It’s natural, hundreds of species of animals have gay sex.” That is the naturalistic fallacy; we don’t permit gay sex because other animals have gay sex.

Nor do I argue that people should be allowed gay sex because they are born that way. First of all, it’s much more complicated than that. People experience degrees of same-sex attraction on a continuum; there are probably more bisexual people than there are homosexual people. We should not permit gay sex and gay marriage because “that’s the way they were born”. We should permit gay sex and gay marriage because that is what makes some consenting adults happy and fulfilled.

Just as it is none of my business what people do in their bedrooms, it is none of my business WHO makes you happy or why. I won’t dictate their age (subject to minimum age of consent), their race, their colour or their sexual orientation. It is a basic human freedom to be free to make your own choice of a life partner or a sex partner.

Bill Flavell

Now back to the issue male gay sex. Let’s start by listing what gay sex may involve: caressing, kissing, mutual masturbation, fellatio and anal sex. I’d like my African friends to look at this list carefully and tell me if they see anything here that heterosexual couples don’t do. There isn’t, is there? Not every heterosexual couple does all those things but every one of those things is done by some couples.

Now look at the list again, and ask: “Is there anything there that should be illegal for heterosexual couples? Is there anything that, if practiced by heterosexual couples, should make it illegal for them to marry?”

If you answer “No” to both those questions, you should give the same answer for gay couples. What is OK for Joseph and Mary is OK for Peter and James.

Please, allow your reason to overcome your prejudices. When you do that, these things become simpler, clearer and fairer, and it will help make the world a happier place. Even YOU will be happier with one less thing to be angry and disgusted about.