‘The Bachelor’ Star, Colton Underwood, Comes Out as Gay

Colton Underwood, a star of The Bachelor and a former football player, came out as gay in an interview with Robin Roberts that aired Wednesday on Good Morning America.

The reality star, who led the 2019 season of the ABC reality dating franchise, described 2020 as a year of self reflection. “Obviously, this year has been a lot for a lot of people, and it’s probably made a lot of people look themselves in the mirror and figure out who they are and what they’ve been running from or what they’ve been putting off in their lives. For me, I’ve ran from myself for a long time; I’ve hated myself for a long time. And, I’m gay.”

He added that he “came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it. And the next step in all of this was sort of letting people know. I’m still nervous.”

He said that coming to understand his sexuality has been a “journey,” and now he is “the happiest and healthiest” he’s felt in his life. He had reached a low in 2020, he said, that led to thoughts of self-harm and suicide.

“I got to a place where I didn’t think I was ever going to share this,” he said. “I would have rather died than say, ‘I’m gay.’ And I think that was sort of my wake-up call.”

JUST IN: Former “Bachelor” star @Colton Underwood speaks his truth and comes out to @robinroberts: “I’m gay. And I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it… I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life.” https://t.co/PoYJUAPBpA pic.twitter.com/isP7SptUu7

— Good Morning America (@GMA) April 14, 2021

Underwood elaborated about previously having suicidal thoughts. “There was a moment in L.A. that I woke up and I didn’t think I was going to wake up. I didn’t have the intentions of waking up. And I did. And for me, I think that was my wake-up call of, ‘This is your life. Take back control.’” Of those thoughts, he now shared, “I don’t feel that anymore.”

As for his time on the Bachelor franchise, Roberts asked him to address people who will feel that he may have misled the women and the public by searching for a wife on television. “Do I regret being the Bachelor and do I regret handling it the way I did? I do. I do think I could have handled it better,” he said. “I just wish I wouldn’t have dragged people into my own mess of figuring out who I was. I genuinely mean that.”

He shared his recollections of how different he felt in the past, saying: “I’ve known that I’ve been different since the age of 6, and I couldn’t process it and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was until high school of my freshman year when I knew I was gay.” Growing up in the Catholic church, he said, “I learned in the Bible that gay is a sin”, and he recalled how, as an athlete, the word “gay” was used in a negative connotation. “There are a lot of things where I look back and say, ‘No wonder I held it in.’”

Since coming out to his friends and family, he said their responses made him feel that he wished he had had more faith in those people in his life. “The only reason I’m sitting down with you today is because I have the love and support of my friends and my family.”

In his 2020 memoir, The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking for Love on Reality TV, Underwood described being confronted by his parents about his sexuality as a teenager.

“‘You know, Colt, we’d still love you and support you if you were gay,’” he recalled his mother telling him.

His father was more confrontational; of his father, he wrote, “He’d pulled up the history of recent Google searches, which included gay porn sites and a variety of questions: ‘Am I gay? How do you know if you’re gay? Why don’t I like having sex with my girlfriend?’ At first, I denied responsibility. Then I owned up to having been curious. He asked if I wanted to talk about it. I said no, explaining that I’d figured things out on my own.”

Colton Underwood appeared on The Bachelorette in 2018 and quickly became a fan favorite on the reality dating show. Prior to his elimination, Underwood revealed to star Becca Kufrin and millions of viewers that he was a virgin, citing his Catholic values. Then in 2019, he became the star of The Bachelor, where a lot of focus was placed on his virginity, which he supported in hopes that it would help to destigmatize his choice. After the show ended, Underwood and Cassie Randolph, 25, the front-runner of his season, began dating, although they have since broken up.

During the GMA interview, he spoke directly to his ex, offering an apology. “I messed up. I made a lot of bad choices,” he said. “I loved everything about her. And that only made it harder and more confusing for me.” He added, “I’m sorry for the pain and emotional stress I caused. I wish it wouldn’t have happened the way it did. I wish that I would have been courageous enough to fix myself before I broke anybody else.”

Underwood and Randolph made headlines in 2020 over a tumultuous breakup. Shortly after Colton recovered from COVID-19 at the height of the pandemic, he and Randolph parted ways. The uncoupled pair would go on to share their sides on social media in the wake of the split, with Randolph filing a restraining order against Underwood over alleged harassment and stalking that she subsequently dropped in the fall of 2020. According to the police report, Randolph claimed Underwood put a tracking device on her car.

Reactions to Underwood’s coming out have ranged from support to calls for people not to forget that he harassed his ex-fiancée.

“Coming out” can be a terrifying, uncomfortable, and traumatizing experience because we still live in a world where we are made to fear the consequences of living freely. Let that sink in. So happy for @colton Underwood. His courage will undoubtably save lives today. ♥️ https://t.co/gAaYldPD9a

— dan levy (@danjlevy) April 14, 2021

Hey, just a reminder that if your response to Colton Underwood coming out is a condescending "We knew," you're scaring closeted people and dismissing what was almost certainly a hard journey. Be kind and non-snarky.

— Tom and Lorenzo (@tomandlorenzo) April 14, 2021

As a community of faith who believes in the teachings, life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we are so proud of you @colton. We support you and lift you up, and know that God loves you no matter what people might say. ❤️ #coltonunderwood https://t.co/cDkKf7i08l

— Harmony Toluca Lake (@Harmony_TLC) April 14, 2021

Crying in my kitchen bc Colton underwood just came out as gay 🥺 im so happy for him

— tabby (@TheDBSExpress) April 14, 2021

Say what you will about @colton’s actions in the last, but the bravery he’s publicly shown this week will save lives, will bring our society one step closer to not giving a shit who people love. If it doesn’t concern you, back off. Good job @colton. 🤘🏼#coltonunderwood

— Mike Manning (@mike_manning_) April 14, 2021

Coming out takes courage. The world can be shitty to LGBTQ+ folks. Colton stepping into his authentic life is terrific for him, and his willingness to do it publicly is very likely terrific for some kid watching GMA and struggling w/ his/her own sexuality/suicidal thoughts.

— Michael Slezak (@MichaelSlezakTV) April 14, 2021

A strapping former footballer allegedly inflicting psychological violence a woman is a far bigger deal than "misleading" Bachelor viewers/the fameosexuals who competed for an engagement ring on national TV. And yet Roberts only tackled the latter issue head-on.

— Michael Slezak (@MichaelSlezakTV) April 14, 2021

I think you can have empathy for what Colton Underwood went through on his path to self-acceptance while also not erasing/excusing the fact that his ex filed a restraining order against him after he harassed, stalked, and placed a tracking device on her car.

— Sarah Lerner (@SarahLerner) April 14, 2021

I’m happy Colton is out and living his truth. But let’s not forget he stalked and put a tracker on his ex fiancé’s car. And is now being given a reality show with Netflix.

— samantha bush (@takeyourzoloft) April 14, 2021

Underwood is currently filming a reality series for Netflix to document his coming out story. Regarding his romantic hopes, he shared, “I still haven’t had an emotional connection with a man. I’ve never allowed myself to and it’s never been, sort of, in my cards to let myself get there. And, I want to more than anything. I’m looking for someone who can push me and challenge me in all the great ways.”

In closing the interview, he offered a message to his younger self in hopes that he could reach others: “You’re going to get through it. Keep fighting for you. Keep choosing you, every morning. And, when the time is right and you’re ready, do it on your own time.”