The Battle That’s Already Been Won
October 24 2018 is a day I won’t forget in a hurry.
It was the day I came face to face with a living, breathing paradox. A man I had had much hope on as the possibility of something good. A man I wondered if he would be the one to end my confusion when it comes to relationships.
A man who made me realise that you can be educated and seemingly enlightened, and yet so close-minded.
Emeka.
He’s a very fine man, with caramel-coloured skin and a height statistic of 6’3″. The fact that he is bald and bespectacled upped his charm somewhat, as it gave him that nerdy look that I have come to find irresistible. Top all that off with his impeccable chatting skills and I could imagine him becoming my spec – if I believed in such things. (I happen to think of “spec” or “type” as something that deludes you into thinking there’s a perfect person out there, while blinding you to great men passing you by.)
Emeka and I met on Tinder. A friend of mine had told me about the app and how distinct it is from Grindr (which in recent times, especially here in Abuja, I’ve grown tired of).
We began chatting almost immediately after I sent the first message. He was striking in his profile picture; I simply had to make the connect.
Although he was eloquent and steady in his chats, it was a bit of a drag. I did a lot of the leading in our chats and he was more on the responding side, and this quickly made me realise he must be the reserved type.
Let’s make do with this adjective for now – reserved.
Then he asked for my number. This was two days after we’d gotten acquainted online. For some reason, this made me ecstatic. It gave me some sort of buzz that this guy who I always seemed to be drawing out for our chats would be the first to ask to call.
So I concluded that he most likely is that kind of guy who would rather talk than type.
I gave him my digits and his call came through moments later. My heart gave a small leap of joy when Truecaller confirmed it was him calling. I clicked to answer and went on to melt as soon as his greeting thrummed into my ear.
His voice was sexy. But he sounded formal. Too prissy. This should have been a telling sign but I waved it off. Could it not be that he wasn’t romantic enough to use “Okay dear” but would rather say “Okay sir”? We could deal with the romance building much later on, I reasoned.
Although the phone call was a positive step for me, it was not particularly exciting. It was the usual all over again, only that this time, it was verbal. Just like with our chats, he was also taciturn on the phone, leaving me to lead with our phone conversations. He sha laughed at my jokes and always apologised every time I teased him about being too reserved.
The spark between Emeka and I would have died over time if he wasn’t consistent with his calls.
That’s the thing. He always called! Not like he hounded me with his calls; he simply always made sure we talked before I retired for the day.
I mean, what else screams INTEREST?
He may not be very good at taking control of a conversation, but I was positive we had something here.
Then he suggested we meet.
He did. Not me. It was always surprising the way things were working between us. Considering how guarded he was in our chats and phone conversations, one would expect me to be the one pushing for progress in our interactions.
But he did ask for my phone number. And he did ask for us to meet.
The first time, I stood him up. For good reasons anyway, which he claimed to understand after I explained.
We rescheduled to a more convenient time. He’d wanted me to come to his place but I declined. Kito comes in different packages. Someone can speak well and look ajebo-fine, and still be kito.
Then he suggested his workplace, which is close to where I have my CDS meetings. So then, this arrangement worked just fine.
The moment the date was set for our meet, it all began to seem surreal to me. Could this be it? Were these my final days as a single man? Could he be the one I have been mentally prepping for all these years? Could Emeka be the reason the Fates pushed me to Abuja to serve my country just so They can serve me my Mr. Right?
Oh yes, I asked myself these questions and more as I geared up for our meet the night before the day of the meet. The guy who was primping and preening before the mirror that night had no idea what lay waiting for him the following day.
TO BE CONTINUED HERE
Written by Delle
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25 Comments
Rubee
October 31, 07:05Delle!!!!!!
Don’t tug at my heartstrings this way and then leave me hanging… ???
Delle
October 31, 11:11I’m sorry B. But it’s always more sizzling this way, don’t you think??
Mandy
October 31, 08:40He’s okay-sir-ing you instead of okay-dear-ing you?
Lol.
I have a feeling about the kind of default setting we’ll read about this guy in the next episode. It’s his type who’d be terribly emotionally unavailable in a relationship.
Malik
October 31, 09:15Okay-sir-ing isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I used to okay-sir someone I was in love with, because he was 15 years older and well, Yoruba boy.
Francis
October 31, 16:05? ? ? ? ? ?
Delle
October 31, 11:13Lol.
“Okay sir” just screams bland to me. Lifeless greeting. Just like ‘bro’ especially when I’m having a crush on you.
Very heartbreaking?
Keredim
October 31, 09:43So wait!! How do guys hit up other guys on TINDER?!?
Is there a gay section or flag for profiles on the app?
Pink Panther
October 31, 09:46This I have to know too. Lemme know if I’m to move my market to Tinder.
Net
November 04, 21:13Lmao
Sworld
October 31, 09:58He might be!.
but how we come we have so much in common. I will be like to meet you some day!
Delle
October 31, 11:13We have already met.
Stein
October 31, 10:04Delle, let your ‘to be continued’ be tomorrow oh.
Also, as for tinder, there’s a section where you can choose to see just guys or just girls. If you like someone, you swipe right and if you don’t, you swipe left. For now, I’d like to think it’s kito-proof. Also, it’s not really a hook-up app. I met the almost-love-of-my-life there. It’s a really cool app.
Delle
October 31, 11:14Lol that’s left for PP to decide.
Keredim
October 31, 10:21Thanks Stein.
But how do you know that when you have chosen the option to see guys, the guys you see have done the same?
PP, I hope you are taking notes?
Manach
October 31, 10:57Here goes another tale by the moonlight.
Delle
October 31, 11:15Oh, look what the cat barfed out!
Tristan
October 31, 13:36Off to Tinder right now?
Carlos
October 31, 14:17Bitch you just broke my heart!
Delle
October 31, 16:19The app is a little annoying shaa but goodluck ?
Richiemichie
October 31, 14:45Delle Delle Delle!!!!!
I didn’t even read up to a minute before I saw “to be continued”
Don’t worry, u won’t smell a single prick in that abj till the end of ur service ?
Delle
October 31, 16:21????
Abeg I’m even tired sef. They should stop coming. I’m satisfied with the one I’ve got already (and more ?)
mikkiyfab
October 31, 17:29bet y na Delle this suspense did not help at all o
now sombori wee not be not be able to sleep well at night on top post
please let this “to be continued” be 2morrow o
Dan
October 31, 18:01Running ?♀️ into Tinder app. New market place.
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