THE HUSTLE OF A RAINBOW (Episode 7)
Have you ever been in love a second time? Have you ever been overwhelmed by a crushing feeling of affection towards someone? Have you ever just wanted to spend eternity looking into someone’s eyes? Have you ever seen eyes that hold galaxies – eyes that unraveled all of time and space? Have you ever looked at a face that holds destinies, where the past and present fight for a space in the future?
No? Well then let me introduce to Hadiza Cole.
She is beautiful. I must state that. She’s astoundingly beautiful. And her eyes…Damn, her eyes. They are amazing. They are what I fell in love with first. The second was her butt. That beautiful Calabar bum-bum. Yes, she’s from Cross Rivers. Don’t ask me why I named her Hadiza Cole. It’s the closest to her sexy name that I could come up with.
Hadiza is the one we were warned about in the manual titled Welcome to Rainbow Life. Did you guys get that manual after coming out to yourself? No? Yes? Oh well, page three states very clearly:
“Thou shall not trip, fall, stumble into the gutter of a straight woman/man in the name of love.”
Yes, Hadiza is that amazing straight person that you should NOT fall for. I really should take my own advice.
She’s twenty-six – old, right? I know, but in my defense, she was 25 when I met her. I think I have a thing for older women. She has smooth, lovely, fair skin. I love to hold her hand in mine just to laugh at how black I am. She doesn’t let me touch her a lot. Not that way, you dirty pigs. I mean, like, hold her hand, brush her cheeks, and touch her shoulders. We always have a certain distance between us whenever we sit. I wonder what she is scared of. I know what I am scared of. I am scared to let myself fall too deeply in love with her and I am scared because I know I have fallen so deeply and foolishly and completely in love with her.
She is quiet. She likes to listen. I love her voice. I could spend many long days just listening to her. She can sing but she says she can’t. Typical woman behavior. She can dance like mad though, you know those people that just hold your gaze with the way they shimmy. When she moves, I am lost in a portal. When she sways, my heart loses its way.
She’s my muse, you know, my source of inspiration. Speaking of muse, lemme tell you how I met her.
***
It was a warm Sunday afternoon. She was wearing a red dress. I’ll never forget that. I’d spotted her in the church, looking elegant and stunning. My head immediately started writing stories and poems in her honor from the first moment I set my eyes on her. This might seem inconsequential but here’s the thing: I had been having a mad-ass writer’s block for some months, and immediately I saw her, my imagination finally started to work again. I mean, talk about a sign from God. I felt in my heart that this right here, this bundle of hotness in front of me would be my new muse. (I will tell you what happened to my last muse later). So I decided to speak to her after a few Sundays of seeing her.
I was new in my sexuality, you know how it is. I was cocky and confident and certain every woman in this world wanted me. I felt like I exuded sexiness, and so in that spirit, I decided to go talk to her. I trailed her to outside the church building. Each time I moved to approach her, a ‘brother’ approached her. Like play like play, I spent thirty minutes waiting to talk to this babe o. I wanted to vex, and then it occurred to me that I should borrow myself some brain; I mean, look at how beautiful she is. Did I think I was the only one in the world that had eyes to see beautiful? Which virile heterosexual Lagos man will see her and want to carry last?
Eventually, she was finally alone. In my head, I shouted a loud ‘Praise the Lord’. I sharply gave myself a once over and then walked over to her to lean against her car. Red against black, simply beautiful. I lost my confidence immediately I looked into her eyes.
“Hello! Hi! Okay, so here’s the thing, I know you but you don’t know me. Hold up, let me change that. I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but here’s the thing: I see you every Sunday! You know, now that I say it out loud, it sounds stupid. But I do see you every Sunday and it is so creepy but good, I think.”
I rambled seemingly uncontrollably while her lips curved slowly into a smile.
“You do look a bit familiar but I can’t quite seem to place your name,” she said.
Hearing her speak is an experience on its own.
“Ife. My name is Ife and yours is apparently Colly,” I said with a little smile.
She leaned against her car without leaning on her car and laughed. Mehn, I had to force my knees to hold me up while my brain processed her sweet, sweet laughter.
“Colly is a nickname. My name is Hadiza. It’s nice to meet you, Ife.”
To be honest, in that moment, I couldn’t be sure if she’d said her name was Hadiza or Halimah. But them no born me well to ask her to say her name again. Plus she was already using sharp guy to tell me that she needed to go.
“The pleasure is all mine,” I said. “I do suppose you have to get going. I apologize for holding you up. Do have a good day.” I shot her my best ‘off-pant’ grin and then went back into the church to form good girl for my parents.
***
Well there you have it for today. The beautiful Hadiza Cole. The woman I am in love with. She is a constant 15% of my life. Do any of you have any version of a Hadiza Cole in your life? Tell me about her or him. Are they as hot as my Hadiza? Lol, see stupid question. Obviously not!
PS: The women on KD are FIRE! Like damn, all that hotness in one place should be illegal.
PPS: Who wants to buy art works? I will give you Christmas awoof.
PPPS: I will stop selling my market by 7th of January. So kindly indicate your interest and hit me up before the first of 2017. Thanks!
PPPPS: How many PS’s count as too many?
Written by iAmNotAPerv
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19 Comments
Mitch
December 28, 07:23Ife, your vivacity leaves me wonderland if you’re serious about your age. You sure grew well.
As for being in love, tell me not of that blasted emotion. I’m done with it.
Tiercel de Claron
December 28, 11:30You’re wrong.
You are not done.
iAmNotAPerv
December 28, 11:48Thank you. I wish it were as easy to be done as it is to say it. Thanks for reading
MagDiva
December 28, 07:24I’m interested ??…
In your artwork ?. Are they framed? Can I see samples please. Thanks
iAmNotAPerv
December 28, 14:05Lmao. You can get my email from Mr. Panther and. We’ll discuss there
Lorde
December 28, 07:40I must say, I love this series….its helping me appreciate all things “Lesbian” a lil bit more…
iAmNotAPerv
December 28, 14:07Thank you Lorde. Appreciation is always appreciated lol
ambivalentone
December 28, 09:36Bia nwokem, are u sure u r bisexual? You sound more and more lesbian and less bi…abi the boys that surround u are not representing?
Bain
December 28, 09:59you do know its a lady that writes this series,right?….
Delle
December 28, 10:02He knows it’s a lady.
“…you sound more and more lesbian and less bi…”
Only a girl can be lesbian.
iAmNotAPerv
December 28, 14:13Lmao I knew this day would come. I am bisexual oh. Stamped and cleared. Fear not I would never deny my identity if I were a lesbian. The boys are not representing well and the girls are over representing which is why I must speak on them and a fear that holds me from writing on the boys is that some readers will say I have turned KD to a heterosexual blog but oh well… Thanks for reading 🙂
Delle
December 28, 10:00??????. So organic as usual. Well, I have a Hadiza Cole in my class o but it’s a guy (of course, it has to be a guy) and he recently came out to me as bisexual! He is still in the works though and my factory isn’t going on any break for him.
And Uncle PP has refused to release your email to me o. He’s such a friend-block.
????
Pink Panther
December 28, 11:02Lol. Just lookatyew. When have you asked?
Delle
December 28, 15:46Lol. PP deny me in public o! ???
iAmNotAPerv
December 28, 14:16Osheyyy. Let him know that your factory works all year and all day round o 😀 Daddy Panther will answer you soon e hear, don’t worry
ILoveToReadSoKindle
January 11, 06:25My Hadiza Cole is hotter than your Hadiza Cole… She is the most beautiful, smartest, toughest, most hardworking woman that has graced the earth. She is kind, funny and has great teeth ( I have a thing for great teeth – no, I am not a dentist). Her skin is as silky as silk, her Southern accent surprisingly easy on my ears. Her booty has me begging her to consider wearing a burka (if I say make I bride price now-you all know my struggle) her teeny waist putting shame to plastic surgery.
Please stand up ladies and gentlemen, let’s give a standing ovation to my Hadiza Cole’s breast. They are so beautiful…my words can not describe. They stand proud and tall like bread sellers hawking their ware, they are nicely rounded as if they’ve been filled with silicone implants. To the touch they feel like that hot oasis, zone 4 bread ? of before before (ok I like bread). Her patience, honesty and wisdom are refreshing and belie her years.
She has the cutest walk, it’s a cross between a swagger and a cat walk it defies the laws of walking but it’s hers. I used to think her relatives must be related to Anini, there is no way my coconut (you know – bread and coconut) doesn’t have stars in her eyes.
I should stop now before I write an entire other article but yeah, that is my Hadiza Cole in a shell of coconut or empty bread bag. What do you think IAmNotAPerv?
iAmNotAPerv
January 12, 07:55Ah! Ewo! You have spoken an abomination. There is no better Hadiza Cole than my own. You have challenged me! The next episode will be on her thoroughly! She has given me the go ahead.
Shepherd
April 20, 07:36Wow! this series has made me enjoyed the joy of being Bi and most of all; I will no longer be irritated around lesbians not that I’ve met one sef o. Ewo!
iAmNotAPerv
April 21, 07:28I’m so glad you feel this way. Please don’t be irritated with lesbians. You haven’t met one? Wawu