The NYSC Diaries (Entry 7)

After the show I put on for Officer Yusuf and the camp commandant, I was something of the camp’s new rave. In a few hours after that display, I was sought out by Ricky, a dancer whose waist-whining had all of us screaming our hearts out at our welcome party on our fourth day in camp. Within a few minutes of us getting acquainted, we just knew we were both gay and relaxed into each other. The time we spent together that morning before lectures began was all about checking guys out and talking shit. We swapped videos and songs and stories, and when I told him I had the Beychella, he wasted no time in collecting it to watch during the lecture. Needless to say, it was the most fun I’d had in days.

When lectures were about to start, we were still outside chatting, when a lady from my platoon, Temi, walked up to us and engaged us in a discussion about the previous night’s social event (which I didn’t attend).

Then, she turned to me and asked, “Where your boyfriend dey sef?” At the look of confusion on my face, she laughed and said, “I mean James na.” Before I could respond, she added, “Wait oh! Don’t tell me you have a boyfriend at home and you’re here playing with James’s feelings like this.”

Ah! I was shook! I had to quickly check her on that, saying James and I were not romantically involved and that I didn’t have a relationship at home or anywhere else. As I was on the roll, my phone rang. And it was James calling to tell me that he’d gotten me a seat next to him in the hall and was waiting for me to come in and join him, a conversation that was, unfortunately, heard by both Ricky and Temi. After I ended the call, I couldn’t even look at their faces, which had in duplicates that smug “Mmhmm, so what were you saying about you and James again?” expression. I just quickly took my leave and walked into the hall to join James.

After the boring lecture we received on the customs and traditions of the people in the state (like any of us gave a flying fuck), we went to our various SAED classes. James and I had to split because we weren’t in the same class. I went to my class. Now, throughout the time we’d been carrying on in my class, I’d never contributed. I’d always been silent, at the back of the class, in my own space. My body language in that class had always been “Don’t come close. Stay the fuck away.”

However, on this day, the Orishas decided to push someone into my personal bubble.

I was seated all alone at the back of the class as usual, when he walked over, grabbed an empty seat, dropped it next to me and sat down. Then he turned and, stretching his hand out for a handshake, introduced himself to me. I shook his hand, and then had to listen as he told me his name was Akin before going on to tell me all the ways the camp wasn’t up to his expectations. I was one bite away from telling him to shut the fuck up and let me be, when he leaned in closer and whispered in my ear, “I loved watching you walk. It was very sexy.”

Wait, WHAT!

I had to reel my bitch back in to take a proper look at this individual. One glance turned to two, and within minutes, we were talking well. (Hey, don’t blame me. I like a good conversation just as well as the next guy.) By the time we were done with the SAED lecture, I’d gotten to know quite a bit about him, including the fact that he is an occasional reader of this blog. So, Akin, if you’re reading this, this is me saying “Hey, hey” to you.

***

The next couple of days were a blurry rush of activities in camp. From cooking, to dance, to drama – nothing was left out. The camp was treated to a magical act by one of James’s friends. And then the really insane vocal stylings of Kemi at the talent hunt. Onome’s crazy rap skills at the same event. And my mediocre cooking skills at the cooking competition where I snagged a place among the Top 3. Ricky and I dancing to J Balvin and Beyoncé’s Mi Gente at the same cooking competition. And Michael’s madness when he scrambled up a pole with his bare hands, hung from the beams and began to twerk in the air.

As events were taking place, alliances and friendships were being made and broken. The trio of Toyin, James and me had broken up and turned into a fivesome of James, Ciara, me, Tolu and his girlfriend, Beauty. The new mix was even more fun than the old one as we shared a common resentment for the SAED lectures, and a love for the same spot at Mami market, music and movies. We were constantly together, so much so that it was only natural that I did what I did with them.

It was on our Carnival Day. We’d all woken up after a heavy rain that ensured there was no parade that morning. I took my bath and went to James’s hostel to drag him out. On our way out, we met Tolu and we made our way to where our platoon’s kitchen was, helped out a bit and went on to where our canopies were. We helped to set things up and then called the girls, Beauty and Ciara, so we could go for breakfast at Mami. While we were waiting for them to come from their hostels, Akin walked past us. As soon as he saw me, he walked over, greeted James and Tolu and hugged me. As we unclasped from the hug, his hand lingered on my chest and I felt his thumb graze a nipple. I laughed and swatted his hand away. Just then, the girls arrived and we had to leave.

At the market, while we were having breakfast, our conversation turned towards what we were going to wear for the carnival. In all honesty, I hadn’t even given a thought to what I’d wear for the carnival. Besides, the only casual clothes I’d come with were a pair of jeans, the gray-black jean shorts I wore to camp, and two T-shirts. Because we’d gotten our polos from our various platoons, all I was left to wonder about was what to wear over my bottom. While we chatted, I contemplated wearing one of my white shorts (I have a passionate hatred for trousers. I have a very high body temperature and as such, I am usually uncomfortable in clothes. So even if I’m going to wear clothes, they have to be really short.) I couldn’t risk wearing the pair of shorts I had; they were just too off-colour for the pair of sneakers I’d worn to camp when matched with my platoon’s polo. However, when Ciara mentioned buying a pair of jean shorts from Mami, it dawned on me that I could buy shorts too. We went together to the clothes section where Beauty bought a headpiece, Tolu and James bought blue bandanas, and Ciara bought a pair of shorts. I couldn’t find any pair of shorts short enough for me to rock, so I finally settled on a pair of shorts that could pass as bum-shorts for conservatives. As soon as I picked it, the other four began to laugh, and Tolu said something about how I was out to seduce the entire camp. Flipping my imaginary weave in his face, I paid for it and the bandana I picked out. That done, we went back to our various hostels to get ready.

While I got ready in my room, none of my roommates commented on my shorts. We were all just too busy taking pictures with each other. When we were done, I stepped out of the hostel and my ears were immediately assailed with piercing catcalls and screams of both astonishment, disbelief, outrage and admiration. I ignored them all and sashayed my way down to the parade ground where we were supposed to have the carnival. As soon as my band members saw me, they too began to scream and we spent the next few minutes taking selfies. Almost everyone who passed by us had something to say about what I was wearing. Most thought it was great, some thought it daring, others were indifferent. Only very few people were openly antagonistic about my attire. And I couldn’t be bothered by them.

Just when I thought I’d seen it all, the camp commandant came up to the band, and as soon as he saw me in what I was wearing, he smiled and asked why I wasn’t carrying a drum. I told him I wanted to be free to dance. The man wouldn’t hear it and asked me to carry a drum and stand at the front of the group as we went to escort the State Coordinator from his apartment. I did that and still managed to get quite a bit of dancing done at the same time. The State Coordinator laughed out loud when he saw me and said, “This just might be the most interesting carnival we’ve had here.” Me, I couldn’t be any less happy with myself for pushing my homosexuality – that they claim to hate and support its criminalisation – in their faces. After we were done with our escort work and had played all the anthems, we departed to join our various platoons.

Upon my arrival at my platoon, my platoon officer told me that I was supposed to be one of the dancers in our cultural display and that they’d already hired clothes for me. I had to go and don a wrapper and a singlet and beads and other shii I don’t wear on a normal day in preparation for our display. After a quick rehearsal, we were ready. When it got to our turn, Nabila and I led the dance together. The pair of us leading the dance was insane as we both worked in perfect sync, hips shaking together, backs moving together, legs stamping together. After our display, I switched back to my carnival clothes while we were waiting for the results to be called. We made it to the Top 3.

Then, just as we were about to start the games segment, I did something that effectively shattered the glass walls I’d replaced my camp closet with.

While the layout for the games was being set, the DJ was playing various songs. As soon as he played Ciara’s Level Up, Beauty and I ran from the back of the canopies where we were to the place where the set up was being done. We turned, facing our platoon’s canopy and began twerking to the song. Almost immediately, the soldiers who were seated at the back and all around the place, ran up to us and began to cheer and clap. Before long, our camp commandant had joined them alongside our camp director and a couple of other camp officials. When the song ended, both of us walked back to our platoon’s canopy amidst loud laughter and cheers and everything.

At the back of the canopy, we joined Tolu, Ciara, Nabila and James, who were with a number of other platoon members. I asked James for my handkerchief which he produced from his waist bag. Then Temi, who was also there, said, “After now, you’ll tell me nothing is going on between the two of you. And James will be telling me Mitch is straight. Okay oh.”

As soon as she said this, something in me snapped. I turned to her and said, “Once again, Temi, James and I are not together. He’s right on that count. As for the opinion that I’m straight, sweetheart, I’m not. He doesn’t know because I’ve not told him. So, there you have it. Happy now?”

Nobody said anything for about ten seconds. Then, Nabila burst out laughing, before saying, “Sweetheart, we all know you’re not straight na. Was that ever up for debate? Abeg, what were we discussing again?”

And, just like that, the moment passed.

That was when it dawned on me that I had the most decent humans, irrespective of their individual quirks and idiosyncrasies, as platoon members.

***

Too soon, it was Monday, the penultimate day of our stay in camp. Unlike other camps where the last night is marked by a bonfire, our camp did nothing of the sort. Rather, we spent most of the whole day rehearsing for our Passing Out Parade. And as is usual with my camp, the entire rehearsal was marked with several people fainting from the heat or the dust or something else. It was an absolute brouhaha, which mercifully ended by 6 PM.

Immediately the rehearsals ended, almost the entire camp trooped to Mami either to eat, to drink, or to pick up clothes for the POP. Mami was all shades of lit that night as all the joints were full of rowdy, dancing, roving, insane people. My roommates had previously contributed cash for us to drink as a room, but this bitch could not be bothered to join. I mean, I drink alcohol. I don’t drink beer. That’s just messy.

The fivesome – Tolu, Beauty, James, Ciara and me – had dinner together, as usual. However, Ciara had to leave a bit early to help her roommate with something. Tolu, Beauty and James also had to go pick their laundry. I, on the other hand, went to plug my power bank and pick my already charged phone. That done, I walked away from the horrendously noisy scene that was Mami.

On my way to the hostel, I saw Officer Yusuf coming out of the soldiers’ quarters. As soon as he saw me, he called me and began to quiz me about general stuff. Seeing as I was bored and had nothing else to do in my hostel besides watch movies on my laptop, I decided to stay there with him and talk. From telling him about myself, we began to talk about other things. I got to know he was married, without any kids yet, that he had wanted to go to the university before entering the military but didn’t have the opportunity to do so, as well as quite a number of other really private stuff. We were strolling as we talked, and soon, we were at the pavilion near the flag stand. There, we sat in the darkness and chatted away for hours. When I noticed how late it was getting and that I had things to do hostel, I told him I needed to get back. We got up and moved towards the edge of the pavilion.

And that was where it happened.

Just as I was about to say goodnight to him, I felt him move forward. And the next thing I felt were his lips on my cheek.

It was a peck that lasted barely three seconds. But it was a peck that instantly filled me with a determination for more. So that, when he broke the peck and began moving his head back, I voluntarily turned my head and my lips brushed against his.

And just like that, we were kissing.

Our lips meshed, our bodies melded and held. And when he nibbled on my lower lip, gently coaxing my mouth open, I let it happen. Lips. Tongue. Sparks. A flame. Burning hot lust. Time ceased to exist for us, for me especially. I hadn’t touched a man in so long. I hadn’t been kissed in months. I hadn’t had sex in over a year. I hadn’t felt the faintest bit of desire in a very long time. Officer Yusuf’s lips changed all of that for me.

As we kissed, it took all of my self-control to ensure that it was only my hands that were roving his body. It took a lot of will power to not go limp in his arms and wrap myself around him. Still, it was the best kiss I’d had in years. And when we disentangled, we stood there, staring at each other. Breathing hard.

And then, we did the only natural thing that could come to us in that situation. We kissed. Again. And again.

Too soon, I had to leave him. But before I left, we exchanged numbers. And we promised to make out time to see each other, no matter where I was posted to. As I walked away from there, I couldn’t help the smile that lit up my face. Because I knew, without any iota of doubt, that my camp experience had come to a perfect end. And, for that, I couldn’t be any more grateful to the Orishas.

THE END

Written by Mitch