In the beginning, he was just another member of the security at the gate of my street, one of the men I greeted every time I was headed out or back home. Sometimes, I’d be in the company of friends, who I’d be laughing and gisting with as we walked past him through the pedestrian side of the gate.

Then he began to gain my attention with his effusiveness around me whenever I walked past. His greetings were warm and exuberant, and he would get hyper, rushing to open the gate for me whenever he saw me approaching, on my way out. This would often draw a smile from me, as I figured he was just being extra in order to gain some financial favour from me. But however long I waited for it, he never attached “Anything for the boys?” to his greetings to me.

Then one evening, around 11 PM, I had just walked in, tired from my long day at work, when he called out a greeting to me. I greeted him back, and was still on my way when he said my name. I stopped, turned to him and asked him how he knew my name. He beamed a smile, as if he was about to tell me about a great accomplishment, before saying he’d heard one of my friends call me as we left the street sometime ago. He said he took it to heart because it was also his name. (And so, for the purpose of this story, we will call him Julius).

I asked him where he was from, and he said Kogi State. And just like that, we were standing there, idly chatting and exchanging pleasantries.

As we talked, Julius kept alternating between staring intently at me and then looking bashfully away. It was such an odd behaviour, especially because he repeatedly did it, like he couldn’t make up his mind between looking at me and looking away from me. My gaydar began to tingle and I glanced at his crotch. Under the wash of the streetlights, I could see the outline of a boner sitting pretty behind the sweatpants he was wearing. Occasionally, it would jerk, causing a stir on the fabric of the sweatpants covering his crotch.

I was immediately intrigued, and this time, when I looked back at his face, I found myself no longer looking at a security man, but at a man. Period!

There was something naïve and sweet about him as he stood there before me, looking flustered by whatever feelings he was battling with for me. He was continuously staring at me and then looking away, only to return his intense gaze to my face again.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” I asked.

He shuffled about on his feet before saying, “No – I mean, yes… I mean, it’s just that there’s something about you that makes me feel somehow.”

I smiled inwardly as I asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

He shrugged and said, “I don’t know how you will feel about it.”

“Just talk to me,” I encouraged. “I promise I’ll be fine.”

He hesitated. He opened his mouth and then shut it.

Oh, for godssakes! I thought with some exasperation. Aren’t servicemen supposed to have a rugged charm to their chyking skills?

I decided to help him out. “Do I make you feel like you’d like to fuck me?”

His eyes widened with shock as he flinched. The denial was automatic. “No! It’s not like that!”

“Okay then. You want me to fuck you?”

He stared at me, goggle-eyed, clearly not knowing what to make of this abrupt turn in our conversation. “No…” he said hesitantly, as though he was testing the waters of entering into this new conversational arena with me. “I can’t even take a dick.”

Bingo. So my gaydar was on point.

“OK,” I said. “So you want to fuck me then?”

He stayed quiet.

For some reason, his reticence began to irritate me. The flash of interest I’d earlier felt was starting to wane.

“OK then,” I said as I turned to walk away. “Since you don’t want to talk, it’s a goodnight.”

He grabbed my hand. I stopped and faced him again. There was an almost pleading expression on his face as he began, “It’s just that I don’t know how this will sound to you. It’s not what you’re thinking at all. I’m just a common security man. Me liking you… I don’t know how you’ll take it. I don’t even know if I have a right to like you.”

I paused, feeling immediately touched by the honesty of what he’d just said. It was a class issue, and he was very much aware of it. I wondered how many guys above his station who he’d felt sexually drawn to, if he had ever expressed his interest to any one of them, and how badly it may have gone to reinforce in his mind how he shouldn’t like anyone who was out of his league. It felt so Nollywood: the commoner who feels undeserving of the affections of the privileged love interest.

But this is not love biko! I thought sharply. It’s just konji, an itch that needs to be scratched, a handyman fantasy looking to be fulfilled. And for that to happen, I had to fix his insecurity.

“There’s nothing common about you, Julius,” I said soothingly. “You’re a human being with a heart and feelings, just like everyone else. You have to believe in yourself and believe that you are worthy of anyone you like. Other than that, I don’t know what I can do for you.”

“I don’t know too,” he said with a shrug. “It’s just that when I look at you, I know I’m not there.”

I figured that by “not there”, he meant he wasn’t in my league. Which, to be honest, he wasn’t. But sex is sex. No reason why a white-collar jobber can’t get it from a gateman.

I reached my hand forward and touched his chin, running my fingers lightly over his beard. “It’s all good.” Then with a coy smile, I added, “But do try to calm your junior down.” This with a pointed look at his crotch, where his eggplant was still being agitative.

He laughed as he self-consciously adjusted his sweatpants over his boner. “Ordinarily, I don’t do like this o. I don’t know what gave me the courage to approach you.”

“It’s fine.” I was entering seduction mode now. The hoe in me was seizing the moment. “So what if I want you to fuck me… Can you fuck me really hard?”

He didn’t react with his initial shock this time. He simply gave a self-conscious chuckle and said, “Give me a try.”

“OK. Let’s fix a date.”

He said he’d be off-duty the next day, so it would have to be when he gets back on duty. I was puzzled by this, and I asked why we couldn’t simply see when he was off-duty, why he couldn’t just come to my house. He explained that he wouldn’t be able to explain to the security men, his colleagues, who would be on duty why he was entering the street and whose house he was going to. Even as he was talking, I could see another reason why meeting at my place was probably not a good idea. My street is a small one, and beyond the high walls and heavy gates of some of the houses, my neighbours look into every other person’s business. A gateman entering my compound and not coming out immediately would raise questions that’d be asked at the next neighbourhood meeting.

“So how would we see when you’re on duty?”

“You can come here late at night like this,” he replied. “There are two rooms in the security house” – he pointed at the security post – “and you can come around by midnight.”

“Why midnight?” I asked.

“Because that’s when I’ll be sure no more people living on this street will be driving in.”

I said okay, and we set a date.

On the evening of the day we agreed to meet, I came home late, by some minutes past 11. The pedestrian gate was locked, and when I knocked, he opened the main gate. Upon seeing that it was me, he came close to me and pinched my nipples. I was pleasantly surprised and faintly aroused by that audacious move.

He smiled as he asked, “Will you be coming back?”

“Yes. Let me just go shower.” And then I went on home to get myself ready for some rough handling.

Except that wasn’t what I got. The sex was just there, very meh. He kept fumbling about behind me as we stood in a doggy position, and at some point, I just wanted it to be over. This was so not how I envisioned this fantasy playing out. The hookup that I thought was going to be a regular thing had disappointingly established itself as a one-time thing.

For me anyway – because Julius had other ideas about our “relationship”. He began acting possessive toward me. I’d be walking past the gate, on my way to work, and he’d grab at my hand, wanting me to stop and chat. I’d be returning home and he’d block my way and attempt to grab at my ass or feel me up. He got bolder with his advances. He was clearly angling for another hookup. But I was done. I didn’t have the heart to tell him though, so I tamped down on my irritation every time he took those liberties.

Then he began harassing my male visitors. It’s the duty of the security to ask any unfamiliar faces entering the street who they’re looking for; once they identify me as the person they’re here to see, and they’re male, Julius would get belligerent. He also acted this way toward those he already knew were my regular visitors. He would demand that they call me so he could speak to me to be sure they’re here to see me. And when I answer the call, he would say, “This is Julius speaking”, in that tone that tries to establish his presence in my life.

“He is smitten with you, you know?” a friend of mine, who I’d told the story of our hookup, once observed.

“Why do you say so?” I asked.

“Because the week I spent at your place, when you were away for work, every time I was at the gate, on my way out or in, he would keep asking me about you – when you are coming back, if you are okay, if I can extend his greetings to you.” My friend chuckled. “It was all so adorable.”

It was, I thought. But I simply am no longer interested. And because verbal rejection is something I’m uncomfortable with doing to me, I hope he’ll eventually read the bold handwriting on the wall and let it go.

Written by JBoy

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How many times have you pulled down the zipper of that shag you’d been wanting to have with the zeal of a trained whore and the determination of a politician?


  1. Delle
    May 25, 09:05 Reply

    JBoy, how do you always have the most daring sexperiences? ???

    And I think it’s time you let go of your sentiments towards him and just say things as they are especially as he’s taken to harass your male visitors (however subtle). If you leave shit, e go dey smell.

    You’ve been kind enough. You really don’t owe him that much civility (except you do as a human being but how long will you wait for him to read the words on the wall? Will he ever recognise them even if they’re shown to him?).

    Nip this in the bud. You can be firm with him without being condescending or brash.

    Meanwhile, lemme goan return the Vaseline I’d snatched from my wardrobe. That guy is a gbef abeg ?

    • Pink Panther
      May 25, 09:14 Reply

      ?????? You grabbed Vaseline expecting an explosive sex sequence, huh?

    • JBoy
      June 14, 09:08 Reply

      Just return the vaseline, Delle.

  2. Dickson Clement
    May 25, 09:56 Reply

    So basically you got uninterested because the sex was MEH??
    How shallow- it probably wasn’t a good day for him? The place too may not have been too convenient for him!
    I think the main reason is that you are not even into him in the first place and you shouldn’t have shagged him!

    • Ken
      May 25, 10:50 Reply

      I totally agree. I think jboy was simply curious about where the relationship would lead, and I dare say curiosity is about to kill that cat. Hell hath no fury like a gay security man scorned! Una go finally land for station …kontinuuu

      • Mandy
        May 25, 11:04 Reply

        “Hell hath no fury like a gay security man scorned!”??? Seriously? Lol. Aren’t you being a bit too dramatic here? The security man who couldn’t even pick up the guts to chyke JBoy is now the one you think will somehow initiate a police case? Come on. What’s he going to say? “Oh officer, I was minding my business and this oga living in my street came and fucked me”… Who do you imagine will get the raw end of the deal after such a “scandal”?

        Lol. You guys be so committed to villainizing others for simply being real about what they want.

    • Mandy
      May 25, 11:07 Reply

      Think of it like a Grindr hookup, Dickson. They met, they shagged, and one person simply wasn’t satisfied by the hookup and is now ready to move on. What is shallow about that? JBoy doesn’t owe the Julius anything. He didn’t treat him badly. He simply didn’t get what he bargained for. So if you go on a hookup that didn’t satisfy you, you’re supposed to keep going back just to prove you’re not a bad person?

      Come on.

    • Delle
      May 26, 10:32 Reply

      Sometimes, I don’t understand the way we see things. You’re villainizing someone who clearly bridged a class gap? But of course, you won’t see that.

      Did he at any point in the write up say he had feelings for this guy other than pure, unadulterated lust? So why should the guy feel entitled? Why should JBoy be made out to be bad for losing interest in a sex that turned out worse than some random amateur porn flick? People lose interest! If the sex is bad, I’ll not want a repeat especially if that’s the only basis for our being together in the first place. It’s purely physical, no more than that.

      Y’all are funny shaa.

    • JBoy
      June 14, 09:09 Reply

      But we already did. So, can we move on?

      • JBoy
        June 14, 09:14 Reply

        Hey Dick, the sex has happened. It is what it is. He was horrible and we’ve decided to move on.

  3. Mandy
    May 25, 11:12 Reply

    JBoy, I’m with Delle on this. You should do away with the niceties and just tell the guy you’re simply no longer interested in getting intimate with him. There’s a way to be polite about this rejection, that the guy will come out of it grateful that you even gave him your time and body at all.

    All this one he’s doing is puppy love. Maybe you’re the one who disvirgined him, gave him his first ass. Or you’re the first person out of his league who didn’t treat him like shit over his attraction for you. And so, he thinks you’re the one.

    I don’t believe for one second he’s a threat or will become a problem. You just need to nicely tell him to move on. He may not be bright enough to even know there’s handwriting on the wall to read.

    • JBoy
      June 14, 09:11 Reply

      Mandy Boo, I just feel sorry for him. He’s beginning to get it…and he’ll definitely be fine.

  4. Fred
    May 25, 11:22 Reply

    I think he’s the lovey-dovey relationship type which explains his unease at coming on to you the might he tried to pour his heart out.
    So let him know you’re not interested in having intimate moments with him in your own words. I hope he doesn’t overreact though.

    • Leo
      May 25, 11:41 Reply

      Lol I don’t think he’s lovey dovey. He seems possessive and is marking his territory.

  5. Leo
    May 25, 11:38 Reply

    This is so interesting. It’s one of the reasons I never hookup with anyone within my vicinity because once the boundaries are broken, it becomes difficult to reestablish them. If you succeed in getting him to stop harassing you, be prepared for a bout of passive aggression and maybe even badmouthing you to his colleagues and your neighbors. Do what you’ve got to do though, tell him and be stern about it.

  6. BimMan
    May 25, 12:45 Reply

    I live in Barbados and we have a saying which goes “You don’t shit where you does eat”. Enough said!

  7. Whisperer
    May 25, 16:27 Reply

    Lmao. I don’t even want to proffer any advice or suggestions because I honestly don’t think you need any. You did what you wanted to do and that’s that.

  8. Sadiq
    May 26, 00:27 Reply

    You really shouldn’t have given him such privilege of sleeping with you. Now this isn’t because he’s a mere security guard but for the sake that he works in your estate meaning you’d see all the time.

  9. Houston Scholar
    May 26, 07:58 Reply

    First, I must commend you for demystifying the class difference between you and Julius. It will help his self-esteem. Second, I implore you to communicate with him and let him know your dissatisfaction with his compulsive attachment. Third, even if you have lost the sexual appeal towards him, you can still develop good friendship with him.

  10. Audrey
    May 26, 14:38 Reply

    Away from the main gist.

    Please where is Higwe oh cos he was so sure of his Shrink’s revelation of the end of this Pandemic but alas we still dey here. It actually hurts me when people rubbish a religion they were born into just to sound Woke and in my opinion it’s BS.

    If the religion don tire you walk away peacefully and allow we that want to remain in it do so peacefully. And just so you know most of this online Atheist are strong church workers in real life so don’t let their online person deceive you.

    I’m still waiting for a new announcement from your Shrink oh.
    Daalu nu

  11. Peaches
    May 28, 18:25 Reply

    JBoy, you are just a wower (whatever that means)?. I never knew we were allowed to admit a sex ever went bad, (eyes PP blankmindedly).
    I ❤️❤️❤️.

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