THE TRUTH ABOUT GAY MEN, SEX AND PENIS SIZE
Originally published on gaystarnews.com
We all know that penis size is one of men’s greatest obsessions, but most don’t know the surprising truth behind the size myths.
Did you know, for example, that humans are better endowed than all our primate cousins? You may expect a gorilla to be better hung than you, but you would be wrong, both in terms of absolute and relative size.
Awhile ago, we heard a penis transplant on a 21-year-old in South Africa had apparently been a success. He had lost his penis in a botched circumcision at age 18, but now has a fully functioning member, capable of urination, erection, orgasm and ejaculation.
It makes you wonder if one day, lab-grown or donated penises will be grafted on to men who have extreme concerns over size.
And at the start of March, we learned about a study of 15,000 penises, finally answering the question of average size. The typical penis is just 13.12cms (5.16ins) long and 11.66cms (4.6ins) around when erect.
The study also busted the myth that size varies with race. While scientists say the sample wasn’t quite big enough to reach a firm conclusion on this, they found no link between size and race.
Most people assume average size is much bigger. 6ins or even 7ins are commonly quoted figures.
Despite everyone wanting to be big, we tend to underestimate our own size too. The angle at which you look down on your penis leads you to think it’s smaller than it really is and if you have any fat on your belly, that only makes it worse.
There’s evidence gay men take all this particularly seriously. A study by Utrecht University in the Netherlands around a decade ago showed penis length had a big impact on gay men’s self esteem. In the worst cases, men – gay, bi and straight – can suffer from body dysmorphic disorder. This can even lead to anti-social behavior, depression and suicide.
No wonder newspaper and web advertising continuously push various methods to increase size. Of course, it is very well established none of them work. The fact we keep trying, however, is the clearest signal of all that most of us believe bigger is better.
But perhaps the biggest question of all is not about average size but about how important it is in sex.
Let’s start with the assumption you can’t dismiss, this notion of being ‘big’ as entirely worthless. After all, on the internet, there are rather more searches made for ‘world’s biggest dick’, but very few links for the shortest.
In my last article, I looked at the imbalance of power between tops and bottoms, provoking some very interesting comments from GSN readers. I have noticed in particular that bottoms tend to look for ‘more hung’ men and I often seen tops boasting about their size and capacity on dating sites.
I have often seen gay relationships fail after three or four sex meetings. After this, it seems everyone wants to put their hands in a new man’s underwear, wondering what new and big thing they will find there. Can this size worship be one reason gay romances are so fragile?
My first relationship was with someone I met online, a guy I met on Facebook. We chatted a lot on phone, including talking about sex and he boasted about his size a lot. So when we met in person, I was a little shocked to see his little master. Not shocked that it was anything unusual but only because of the mental picture he put in my mind.
Despite this, I have to say I really enjoyed myself with him and the smaller-than-advertised size of his penis made no difference at all. Frankly I can say we had some of the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.
I’ve met plenty of guys in my time, of all different sizes, but honestly as a bottom, I can’t agree that bigger is always better. I simply can’t say that I have had better experience with larger guys.
The law of averages means, of course, that most of the sex I’ve had has been with guys with an average penis. And from that, I’ve taken the very clear lesson that having sex is not just about the sex – it’s an important moment, which is only good when you feel safe with someone and your partner treats you well.
For me, the kisses and embraces are the most important part. The love and the quality of the time you give each other means more than size. Sex is not limited to physical intercourse. Mental satisfaction is what it’s all about. And I can promise you – if you are worried about your own size – that in bed, it’s not your partner’s length or girth but their performance that matters.
To me, the idea that size is important in gay sex is just a myth. If you are craving for a bigger penis for yourself, or for your lovers, remember that ‘bigger is better’ is not always true.
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14 Comments
Bain
December 03, 07:09i personally like guys with smaller dicks…iono why people think “bigger is better”… I guess now you know it isn’t.
ambivalentone
December 03, 07:53Well, a big dick can hurt like crazy, especially when all d owner wants to do is ‘wham, bam, I’m good, DAMMMMN!’. But I still love em. I have the best sex with a medium length one tho
Mandy
December 03, 08:10I always suspected you’re a size queen. lol
Mandy
December 03, 08:11A Big dick is only as enjoyable as the owner is good in bed. It is useless and hurtful when the owner thinks his dick is god’s gift to bottoms.
Canis VY Majoris
December 03, 08:14“And at the start of March, we learned about a study of 15,000 penises, finally answering the question of average size”
I’m clearly in the wrong profession?
aAyaaH
February 19, 18:24Lol. Oh you are.
bruno
December 03, 08:34gay men always quick to latch on to the idea of masculinity sold by the heteronomative society that rejects them. Anyone who has had sex with more than two people knows that penis size isn’t what determines whether you enjoy sex with someone or not. yet we generally cling to the idea that bigger is somehow better. why? because in the 21st century, a bigger dick is a symbol of masculinity. if there is anything we can learn from our “no fems” culture, it is that gay men desperately cling to the idea of masculinity as presented by the hostile society they live in. so wanting large penises is really just par for the course even when it really adds nothing to the sex.
Pink Panther
December 03, 17:44? ? ? ? ? ?
Mitch
December 03, 10:09Dick size means nothing if the owner isn’t skilled at using it.
Drone
December 03, 11:02“It seems everyone wants to put their hands in a new man’s underwear, wondering what new and big thing they will find there”
An observable trend.
Delle
December 03, 12:14Bless the soul of the author. I do not even get the fuss about big dicks. Personally, I don’t like huge schlongs. Overrated things ???
Gaya
December 03, 18:23The worst sex I’ve ever had in this life was from the mightiest dick I’ve ever seen tho…
virginSlut
December 05, 16:53The smaller, the better. I get turned off with big meats. Big meats are only good for the sight, gagging, ducking and licking.. Ain’t ready to start using diapers.. ..pun intended. First time commenteR heRe.
aAYaaH
February 19, 18:27Lol. You had me at diapers.