TWICE BEATEN, THREESOME SHY
So, I tried the threesome thing once again.
The first time I did was a total waste: ended up sharing condoms and ensuring the two active participants didn’t run out of lube. Generous, I know.
I really can’t explain how I went from being all eager to try to not being able to get my penis hard enough to do something productive, seeing as one of us was actively playing the bottom.
And so, when Deji, a friend whom I had once hooked up with, suggested a threesome to me when I got to his place at Yaba, I didn’t react per se. I just kept staring into my phone. I was torn between the fear of a repeat incident and the earnestness to correct a past fuck-up.
Well, Deji took my silence to mean agreement, and was soon on the phone with the other guy.
The third guy, who I knew simply as Brume, was a looker. And from his IG page, was someone who had good content. So, as far as I was concerned, he was already very interesting.
He was also going to be the bottom, and that was just perfect. For a while now, I’d been having a hard time taking dick when it’s just me and the other guy. Having to take two at intervals (or perhaps at once, if kinky gets in the way) would be suicidal for me.
I started looking forward to his coming and would intermittently ask Deji when he would get here. I’d mentioned my epic fail at my first threesome to Deji, so he knew. My sudden eagerness to try again must have had him so psyched, he grabbed me and we made out with so much intensity that at one point, I had to push him off. Brume wasn’t even here yet and this dude was trying to make me peak.
Brume soon arrived, and the man was just as delicious-looking as his IG page suggested, if not more. My dick sprang into attention and I smiled within as I felt a frisson of hope course through me.
This might just work.
The initial period of awkwardness that usually comes with meeting someone new – especially when the meet is centred upon sexual gratification involving yet another man – wasn’t there. Brume is an OAP, and as such, is naturally outgoing. And me, well, having something to say had never been a problem for me.
I could still feel my dick throbbing with anticipation and I sighed contentedly.
This might just work!
I was still feeling replete with contentment when Brume and Deji started making out. The three of us were naked on the bed, and they just started going at it. And for some reason, I didn’t want to look at them. The bed wasn’t a big one, so I could feel the waves of their throbbing passion as they kissed and writhed against each other, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at them. I was starting to feel the faint stirrings of nerves.
They were moaning and groaning, and whilst those sounds would get me all horned up when I’m watching porn, for some reason, it was distracting to me now. I started counting down in my head. I knew they would soon realise that this was supposed to be a threesome and turn their attention to me, and that eventuality had me feeling a little panicked, so much so that I began to cherish every second they were engrossed with each other.
And then, they stopped and turned to me.
The moment was upon me to become a part of what was going on. And suddenly, I began to feel very vulnerable. The erection that had been sitting so snugly between my legs deflated faster than a pricked balloon and my heart started racing.
I was going to hold a hand out to ask for a breather, a little more time to relax and allow my mind settle into the moment, but Brume soon claimed my lips in a kiss, and I felt, little-by-little, the bricks I had unknowingly installed crumble. When Deji started at my neck, my dick firmly rejoined the party.
This can work, I kept reiterating in my head. I won’t share condoms! I won’t give out lube, I’ll motherfucking use them!
Deji left my neck and went behind Brume to dig into his ass with his mouth and tongue, leaving Brume and I to keep making out.
And Brume was good. I mean, kissing has never appealed to me, but that man knows how to use his mouth, and what he did to me, words can’t describe.
Deji wasn’t here to waste time though, as he soon started pounding at Brume’s ass, who in turn had taken my dick into his mouth, blowing me with such skill, it was all I could do to swear out loud.
However, watching Deji fuck Brume and occasionally reaching forward for us to kiss, with Brume sucking my dick whilst moaning from the pounding he was getting began to get a little too overwhelming for me. And, to my horror, I started to feel my dick fall.
Brume, of course, noticed and stopped. He looked up at me with an arched brow, and I shrugged and smiled wanly in return, fighting the wave of mortification that was threatening to drown me. Being the enthusiast I’ve come to know him to be, Brume resumed blowing me until I felt my dick begin to rise again.
That was until Deji brought a condom to wrap my dick with. Then it bowed out once again. Very humble something.
Oh God, I wanted to die.
“What’s wrong?” Brume asked.
Nothing’s wrong! I just was not born with the threesome algorithm! I wanted to scream.
“I don’t know. It’s not the first time it’s happening. I really don’t know…” I said, tugging at my dick, willing it to rise from this show of shame and show them what it’s got.
But the damn dick stayed obstinately flaccid.
There were many other attempts to get it to rise to the occasion, but as soon as I got in the position to enter Brume, it would drop down into its nap.
Then I gave up and told them to finish off without me. I don’t know if it’s a good thing they were saying supportive things like “This happens” and “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it” and “Maybe I am not attractive enough to you”, and so on.
I think I know what my issue is, and it’s not anything they said.
It’s my head. My small head with its complicated insides that doesn’t know when to take a break.
Anyway, I’m taking a break. I’m taking a break from threesomes and even from watching threesome porn (those guys are just the worst. Rubbing it all in my face like that. No conscience).
On the bright side, I didn’t share condoms or give out lube this time. A little selfishness helped me regain some of my withered dignity.
Written by Delle
About author
You might also like
14: An Anthology of Queer Art | Vol. 1: We are Flowers
The 13th of January is an unfortunate day in Nigeria’s history. It marks one of the nation’s greatest human rights failures. On that day in 2014, Nigeria gave homophobia full
Gay Law Student Puts Ex-gay Therapist In His Place
This, you guys have to read. Stories don’t usually start with, “Harvard University outed me.” This one does. When Scott Blair took the LSATs and checked a box on his Harvard application
DANGEROUS LIAISONS
I got the text on a Saturday, by midnight. It read: Please, I’m in Pedro Station, Shomolu, in a case related to queer. Please help. The sender identified himself as
16 Comments
Mikey?
January 07, 08:35Oh delle I feel your pain, please stick to what works for you. You were made for one man, unlike some of us here, who are preparing ourselves for marriage lol??
Delle
January 07, 21:14Like a throuple? Y’all are strong ?
Façade
January 07, 09:26Delle I think you should be the one to start the ball rolling next time instead of watching them start then joining half way. Because one thing the two scenarios had in common was that you watched them start then you got lost in your head
Delle
January 07, 21:20I see a point here.
I’ll just drag one by the collar and smother him with a kiss so passionate, he’ll choke. Then I’ll wrap my legs tightly around the other’s neck, he’ll most likely have to wear a neck brace for one week afterwards. That’s like the only way I will feel in control ?.
Kamsi
January 07, 09:51Delle I think it is a thing of the mind, you need to open your mind when next you tried.
Delle
January 07, 21:22Why did I see ‘next time, open your legs’??
Beau-classic
January 07, 12:05I can remember the first time i had a threesome. My ex wanted to give me a birthday gift and he introduced it to me, and I told him as long as he is cool with it then am cool. My ex nd I re both vers. Ave never done it b4 but I just went with the flow and it was gr8.
Delle, maybe u re over thinking it, u re thinking of what cud go wrong but u didn’t think of how much fun u re having or how well u might enjoy it. Next time, just flow with them and shut those voices in ur head, don’t worry abt ur lubes and condoms, have ur dick sucked well, kiss, have ur ass rimmed, just get occupied, dnt be idle. Don’t wait to b invited, u join, its a threesome afterall ????
Delle
January 07, 21:23Thanks Beau. You sure sound very experienced.
?!@#_+
January 07, 12:54Try again at night or with lights turned way low. Put some music on and if possible, play porn. The mood jus wasnt properly set.
You’re welcome
Delle
January 07, 21:24It’s your pseudonym I’m in love with?
Mitch
January 07, 15:46????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Ozwai that has ADD wants to enter threesome? Lemme laugh again…
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Oga, goan find man and settle down. I kaala nka. I kariela ahu. Leave threesomes for umuaka.
Delle
January 07, 21:27*steps over comment with my recently acquired Denrele’s heels*
Mitch
January 08, 10:11Where did you acquire them? Under bridge???
Delle
January 08, 20:21Well what matters is that you’ll never tell the difference ??
Bee
January 08, 12:04Very humble something.
I’m dyinggg ?
I have to say, stories of Delle’s sexcapades are my favorite.
Delle
January 08, 20:17Oh Bee, this comment got my finger-tongue tied.
Trust me, it’s not so interesting in the moment of it but I like that I can make it fun for you to read. Thanks B ❤