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  1. maxonex
    September 24, 04:56 Reply

    Thats not pessimism, thats rational thinking… we are not gonna be alive to witness any change…
    Has it ever occurred to you that gay ppl have the most homophobic siblings…

    Better start making plans to leave this hell hole if you don’t have one already… Thats the only way ure gonna live a happy life…Without the whole “forcing a wife” on you thingy.. & constant scrutiny under miscroscope.

    • JustJames
      September 24, 05:20 Reply

      Oh please! Gay people have the most homophobic siblings? That’s too much of a generalisation. My brothers found out I was gay. They are largely nonchalant about it (only issue is it upsets my mother). I have straight friends who know I’m gay. And who is to say a change can’t happen soon. It’s because we have ugly old men in the seat of power and illiterate masses that nigeria seems intolerant. I’d rather be optimistic, thank you.

      • maxonex
        September 24, 05:33 Reply

        Honey, youre still young… I use to be an optimist too…The reality won’t set in till you hit 25-30…
        I’m still an optimist, but not a blind one..@least not in matters concerning LGBT ppl in Nigeria.. We’ve had different experiences in life & that shapes our views on things..
        I have straight friends too who I’ve come out to…but they’re the 0.5% of Nigerians who you could actually manage to convince that you’re not totally crazy… And mind you, it wasn’t easy .. They only overcame it because the love they had for me what more than the hate they had for homosexuality…

      • chestnut
        September 24, 06:12 Reply

        Lol, my dear James,u’re joking,yea? “Who is to say a change can’t happen soon”? C’mon! Such “changes” take hundreds of years! America hasn’t even completed their own change. Being gay was officially criminalised just this year in Nigeria,not a hundred years ago…THIS YEAR! So d journey to “freedom” just started this year. Give it another,say…*looks at wristwatch*…114 years.

  2. gad
    September 24, 05:12 Reply

    Americans =optimists. Nigerians= pessimists

    • daniel
      September 24, 05:46 Reply

      Well, u can’t blame us for being pessimists, the American government cares for her people, it gives them a feeling of hope, of positivity, and even boosts their confidence, so there is every tendency of them being optimistic about the future of the country, Nigeria on the other hand, *swallows words* need I say more?????

      • pinkpanthertb
        September 24, 05:54 Reply

        No you don’t, Dan. I mean, a law was enacted which endangers the lives of a minority of her citizens. That says a lot about just how much the government cares for its people

      • gad
        September 24, 06:18 Reply

        It’s important to recall that some of the pessimists amongs us has at one time or the other been honest enough to admit that America was once upon a time,worse than Nigeria.The task of nation building is a collective one.Not one man,s or a group,s duty.A people deserves the type of govt they have.If Nigerian citizens especially the “pessimists”, start today to live and act like the average American(putting the love of d fatherland above all else,shunning tribalism,nepotism,corruption,religious sentiments etc), I bet u the people at the corridors of power cannot but just fall in line because anyone that doesn’t will surely become irrelevant and the ultimate loser.I believe we will get there.

      • daniel
        September 24, 07:09 Reply

        Well Gad, u seriously think Nigeria will get better? *holds laff* our mentality is poor, it seems like a curse from one generation to another. Our religions have made the boiling matters worse.. The people that can really change Nigeria r on the streets, and I bet even if our generation gets to the corridor of power, I bet nothing will change, I don’t like when people say America was once worse, is Nigeria supposed to wait till the year America got better to be better too? I thought we should be learning from the past, I must say since I was born and now I’m getting old (well, I can still do youthful things) the only changes I’ve seen in this country are not in our mentality, our leadership or our goals as a nation but roads, new buildings and phones. Does that define Nation building?

        • pinkpanthertb
          September 24, 07:28 Reply

          OK Daniel, I’m realistic, but your pessimism is downright dark and depressing. Its not folly to have hope that this nation will eventually turn around. After all, the only thing constant in nature is change. Its gotten worse for gay Nigerians. It can only change for better, however slow the process.

        • gad
          September 24, 17:56 Reply

          Nigeria can be better. How long it takes depends on me and you. Its in our in your own small corner and I in mine.lets be the change we want to see. WE CAN!!!

  3. chestnut
    September 24, 06:02 Reply

    The “second-class citizens” and “equal rights” he’s talking about is pertaining to freedom of marriage,abi? Cos I think that’s d only law gay ppl can logically fight about. Other than that,u can’t carry placards or march to the capitol to make them force homophobes to love and understand gays. I may be wrong (becos I’ve never been to America),but from what I hear and see on tv, it seems to me like d only “second-classness” gay citizens are made to suffer is just that they aint allowed to get married (in some states)…it’s not like they can’t vote, or get on d same side of the bus with white ppl.
    Honestly,sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it,trying to turn a homophobe into a homophile(not in a sexual way); a homophobe will most likely,always remain a homophobe, no matter how many talks and explanations u give him. Just like I said yesterday,we still have racists who are world-wise, who have a high level of exposure to different sorts of people, from different races, from various works of life.I’m sure along d line,they must hav met lots of amazing black people,but did that change their prejudice?Not much.

  4. Dennis Macauley
    September 24, 07:44 Reply

    But progress is being made. There are a handful of Nigerians who understand these things and that number is increasing by the day in bits.

    I have quite a few straight friends who know and who hang with me and the gang and being gay doesn’t even come up.

    It took America 50years to get to this point, we will get there but slowly!

    • chestnut
      September 24, 08:42 Reply

      Just 50 years? I had no idea it was that short. I have no hard facts or data (maybe u do), but I would imagine homosexuality was still not accepted in d American mainstream, even decades b4 1964 (I mean,elton john is above 50 years, but he hid his sexuality when he was much younger,for obvious reasons)…so that would put the figures a bit (or a lot) longer than 50 years,yea? I stand to be corrected tho;like I said, I have no facts or data.

  5. daniel
    September 24, 09:37 Reply

    Lol, @ dark and depressing.. Pinky, I call it fact.. I worked in an LGBT community center, and I know that we r our no1 enemy, while some group of people hope tirelessly that things get better for us, some make it more difficult, we can’t keep blaming our leaders all the time, we have to take responsibilities and let the change begin with us.. Meanwhile, Nigeria can NEVER and will NEVER be America, some things r deep rooted and although I’ll like to see the light at the end of this tunnel, for now the tunnel seems endless.

    • pinkpanthertb
      September 24, 09:56 Reply

      Doesn’t mean you can’t still hope the the tunnel will end somewhere where there’s light. I’m not a fan of this country tbh. I’m not even all that patriotic. If I leave this place and go overseas, my return will probably be in a casket. Too much dystopia here for my liking.
      But for the sake of humanity, I cling to the hope that there’ll be a turnaround. I cling to the hope that there’ll be a flicker of light soon at the end of the tunnel. Whoever or wherever change will start from, whoever is responsible for the current state of affairs notwithstanding, I still hope. For the sake of humanity, not necessarily out of love for this country.

      • daniel
        September 24, 10:36 Reply

        Lmao, u had me at “my return will probably be in a casket”. I agree with u, well, let’s keep hoping.. Let the change start from us.

  6. Khaleesi
    September 24, 10:42 Reply

    I honestly totally agree with Max, its foolishness to be idealistically optimistic. its not pessimism, its facing the cold, hard and depressing truth. However you wish to look at it, the truth is that Nigerians (most, anyway), have this hard unbreakable steel – like core of homophobia deeply rooted in their hearts, combine it with false/fake religious bigotry and you have a cesspit of homophobia thats not going anywhere anytime soon! Yes, It took America and the rest of the West 50, 100, 200, 1000 years to get to their present levels, does it mean that we must also spend the exact same or an equivalent number of years to get to the same levels? what happened to learning from the mistakes others have made along their path to growth and in the process growing faster? a kitodiariesian once made a comment “if it takes me 2 weeks to clear a path through the bush to get to the stream, how long do you think it should take my neighbour to get to the same stream seeing as I have already cleared a trail to the stream? Countries like China, Malaysia, Singapore etc have proven that it can be done. China used to be a very backward and deeply conservative society (still is to some extent), yet they have recently made massive progress with regards to LGBT rights despite their other issues with human rights in general. Am sorry if I sound pessimistic, but i have long ago given up any hope of a Nigeria that is even remotely tolerant or accepting of gays – not in the next 70 – 100yrs at least. A close scrutiny of attitudes will show you that most Nigerians have a deeply ingrained (from the churches mostly) hatred and revulsion for gays, once you make any mention of anything gay, its like their brains shut down and they function automatically through an impenetrable haze of bigotry and homophobia. They simply are unable/unwilling to think or reason beyond a deep fear of questioning the doctrines and dogmas.
    If you think you can live past your 30s as a gay person in Nigeria (i.e without a wife/fiance/girlfriend) without falling victim to deep depression/psycho – emotional issues brought on by the homophobia that will grow all around you, then you are sadly and deeply mistaken. If you wish to brave the odds, i can only see 2 scenarios facing you:
    1. You succumb to pressure and enter into a fake hellish marriage thereby creating a unique type of misery for yourself, your “wife” and kid(s).
    2. You remain single (still in the closet) and battle the unrelenting contempt and vicious emotional/verbal/physical attacks from a society which views you as an abnormal freak undeserving of any iota of respect or humanity.
    No matter which scenario you select from above, the end result is the same, you will not be happy! and a life without happiness is really not worth it in my humble opinion!
    @Dennis, yes change is slowly happening, but at the present rate, its like trying to fill a large leaky bowl with water using a teaspoon, I dont want to be inches from the grave before i can live freely and without fear biko …
    My advise to everyone (myself inclusive) is simple … do whatever you can, start formulating an exit strategy … pack your bags without forgetting your long silky weavons and high heeled shoes and hop on the next jet.
    ok, now am depressed ***opens Ferragamo bag, pulls out pink bottle of Svedka Vodka and takes a long drag straight from the bottle, replaces bottle and staggers off unsteadily on 10 – inch heels*** damn, this vodka stroooongggg****

    • Dennis Macauley
      September 24, 11:27 Reply

      Khaleesi! What will I do without you!


      I don’t know about that your exit strategy tho, but we will see!!

      Can I have some of that Vodka please!

    • maxonex
      September 24, 22:34 Reply

      loving you by the day @Khaleesi…it’s like you just dove into my mind and said it all… Bravo…

    • R.A
      September 25, 07:46 Reply

      *in thickest Yoruba accent ever* Khaleeeeeeeeeeeeesiiiiii ooooooooooooooo!!!! *cleans your shoes* well said biko!

  7. ray
    September 24, 10:42 Reply

    Singing sam cooke’s song ‘a change is gonna come’.

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