WHAT WE WANT FOR CHRISTMAS: 10 Wishes KDians Wish 2017 Will Gift Us With
Merry Christmas.
Father Christmas, I hope you are listening. After the tumultuous year 2017 has been, I believe we all deserve something nice for staying good and enduring all year long.
So I asked around, and if wishes were horses, here are some rewards KDians want to see happen to mark the end of a year we’d all love to see the end of. Check on it below, Santa, and get cracking. 🙂
1 ALL I WANT for Christmas is just one uncomplicated dick that isn’t states away.
2 I DON’T WANT much for Christmas – just to move to my own place, get clients that actually know what the fuck it is that they want and for them agree with me when I call the price, and for GLO to get their shit together. I also want a cinema in Enugu, and to make enough money next year to be able to afford the expensive things I long for. That isn’t much now, is it?
3 I SAW MY mother today, and one thing came to mind after the hugs and the usual questions she posed at me.
Last night, in a tweet, I mentioned I was not seizing any bae and that there’ll be no rugrats… just yet, but seeing her this evening, I realised that she’s given me happiness over and again. Something a lot of us wish we could have right now.
Which brings me to what I want for Christmas: I want to give her much happiness like she’s given me – a partner, my own partner, someone other than me who she’d harass and love. Seeing as I’m the only one who’s heard her heartbeat from the inside, I want her joy to be full and complete and continuous.
So, future husband, if ya stuck somewhere, find ya way to me with alacrity. And Santa, kindly help him along.
4 NEXT YEAR IS Seize The Bae 2018. So for Christmas, I want a sexy bearded man, someone that’s as mushy and romantic and perverted and deranged and freaky as me. Someone that actually knows what it means to be with someone, and not in it for the title or as an experiment or something.
5 WHAT I WANT for Christmas?
I definitely want to settle with someone (not talking marriage) – but to be in that committed relationship I’ve been shying away from for reasons that make no sense (when you consider the sentiments I unknowingly attached to them). I just want a good man. I’m tired of having specs! That shit is driving me nuts because it’s causing me to chase them boys away.
I also want to come across more gay men and less “TBs”. What do I mean? I want to be acquainted with more men who are very confident in their sexuality, so confident that they do not just fuck men; they also have no qualms getting married to them.
Lastly, I want Santa to grace me with the strength to keep up my activism. There are times when doubts creep in (Would it eventually get better in this country? Are you sure you aren’t just pouring water on gravel? Those you are fighting for, do they even need it?). Even as sure as these questions pour in, I want the determination to continue fighting to never waver or die.
6 I WANT SOMEONE to explore sex with. Okay, here’s the gist. I crave sex. I do, like every other normal human being. It’s just… it’s just that it’s ended badly the countless times I’ve tried it, and sincerely, I fear that if this continues, I’ll stop enjoying everything sexual all together while still harbouring this burning craving. Hell, I’ve fucking prayed about it. Yes, as deranged and twisted as what you just read sounds, it’s true. My point is: God, please send a decent young man my way, someone who does not want to start loving up and down or does not want to turn me into a boy-toy or turn me into a sex slave, but just wants to hang out, and have fun, and make out with and grow sexually with.
What else? Oh yes, I want, I really, really want to meet more gay people in my university, round them up and form some sort of community like there is in UNN.
7 WHAT I WANT is for all the money I and the family are spending for my Masters application not be in vain, because I really need to leave this country, not only to work in a space where the homophobia and dysfunction aren’t so toxic, but also to meet a cute Brazilian guy like the one I met in London earlier this year and shook hands with and he smiled and seemed to want to linger but whose girlfriend was always there, clinging to his arms, telling us again and again that she’s his girlfriend. Okay, maybe she wasn’t so emphatic, but you get my drift, Santa.
I also want enough money to be able to make a someone special come visit me in my state so we can spend a week or two together. It’s been months and the more I know him, the more annoyingly vulnerable I become. This morning, my friend said, “You don dey fall oh. No fall oh, use your head”, in that beer-parlour straight-boy way of his. So, another wish: I hope this special person is falling as fast as I am.
8 THE THINGS I want for Christmas are things I’d probably eventually get myself. I’m not needy like that. But here it goes – Generals 22 charcoal pencil set, Conteparis charcoal pencil set, Tombow mono-zero erasers, Canon 70D, Nataraj pastel set, Prisma pencils, and White Gel pen.
And, oh, a man that I’d be exclusive to, without the distracting pressures of a relationship, love or catching nonsense feelings.
9 ALL I WANT for Christmas is to find a job that pays, so that I can move out of the house and get my own place and be able to afford stuff. I also want a best friend who’s gay that I can gossip with, confide in and check out hot guys with. That is all I want, Dear Santa.
10 I DESPERATELY WANT for Christmas for Nigerians to become a whole lot less homophobic and for this stupid anti-LGBT law that has made us targets for idiots to finally get repealed.
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20 Comments
I.F
December 24, 08:35All i want for Christmas is more money, happiness and a good man to shower all these on
Black
December 28, 15:36All I want for Christmas is to be the one you shower all the money and happiness on. #dasall ?
Michael
December 24, 09:06I want a bae biko.
Michael
December 24, 09:08PP, the video of that picture in No 6, where can I get it?
Shuga chocolata
December 24, 09:41Thirsty af.
????????
THE REVEREND
December 24, 17:13Oh My!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST.COMMENT.EVER!
Shuga chocolata
December 24, 09:42All I want dear Santa ?,
Money,happiness and for Francis to look my face in 2018.
Delle
December 24, 10:14And UNN makes the gay headlines!???
Tueh! ???
trystham
December 24, 10:37I want more funding for my farm projects and meeting and working with HONEST ppl and better farmer-appreciation. That’s a tall order, but I desperately wish it were so. That shii is back breaking and brain draining.
Maybe an on-call FB, a bus-ride away at most, without inherent drama
Gad
December 26, 07:17I love the fact that you are a farmer. Please can Pinky link us up?
cedar
December 29, 21:53pls how do we get connected? PP help
quinn
December 24, 14:02Love your christmas wish list. Hey i’m a bit of an artist too glad to be reading this from a fellow. I wish for you all the best. I wish alone to have the courage to take charge of my life and for my brain to keep having sense
Malik
December 24, 16:09This post was almost emotional for me. I want number 5, Lord! I mean Santa. I want to keep believing and to be brave enough to rise above normalcy and expectations; and be radical and loud not for Jesus this year (I’m sorry) but for equal human rights.
I don’t want regrets. I want to be happy.
son of freda
December 24, 23:02? santa just need someone who would sponsor me in school ,since I already have a gay bestie, I need that rich alpha to relate with and lose my virginity , literally tired of abstaining from sex , I want that alpha basketball athletic someone I could sleep with under a white clean duvet and cuddle
all I want from you Santa baba ?
Johnny
December 24, 23:39All I want for 2018 is more money , educational progress and a big dick I can call at anytime. Happiness inclusive
as-I-am
December 25, 13:45I just want to leave Nigeria
KingB
December 25, 16:30All I want for 2018 is to get an apartment of my own. I’ll clock 24 in 2018 and Ive always prayed not to exceed this age still living with my parents. I also pray I fall in love in 2018.im tired of searching. I need someone I could call mine. Someone I could cuddle with in bed, kiss all the time, quarrel with, go out with, bath with, pay bills with, gossip with, the list is just endless. Bae where art thou ? I’m waiting!
Eddie
December 26, 09:36If wishes were horses…..
WESSICK
December 26, 14:51All I want for Christmas is #10,000..to get stuffs needed for school??? Dear Santa, I didn’t ask for too much did I? ?
Kunle
December 27, 13:54Biko, I want a gay best friend. And I want lotta money and wantu be fine AF in 2018. And most importantly someone to share my life with.