Wife Speaks Up After Finding Husband On Grindr
A mother has asked for help on Mumsnet – after catching her husband using a gay hookup app.
The user of the parenting forum asked for help after finding her husband’s profile – complete with a picture of him posing in his underwear in their en suite bathroom.
“Today I found my DH on Grindr,” she wrote. “Without a doubt it is him. Posing in our en suite bathroom. Confronted him. Says it is not him but refuses to let me see his phone. He is refusing to talk to me. Two children. 7 and 10. I am 43. Don’t know what to do. Please some advice.”
When other mothers were unfamiliar with Grindr, she explained: “It is a gay pick up site… You can see some of his face. God, I even recognise his pants and moles on his chest. He went ashen when I showed him and then defensive and then silence.”
She continued later: “I downloaded the app. Lo and behold up he appears.
“His message was beyond crude – that he would be energetic for a nice ass and that he wants to learn new tricks. Feel sick. And why can’t he just admit it. Tried to take a photo but it didn’t work.
“His phone is always locked (no wonder) and he said he will never let me see it even though I am distressed…At the top of his pic it just read ‘hook-ups only’.”
She said: “We had sex on Saturday. We laugh. He tells me he loves me. I will have to go to GUM clinic. There have been signs over the years and he has always denied and made me feel paranoid.”
However, she eventually decided: “He’s been living with this huge burden and I have no intention of destroying him or his reputation so long as he plays fair.”
*sigh* Oh Grindr… Outing people since 1976.
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30 Comments
A-non
March 27, 03:59But why did she have to download the app in the first place?
What was she looking for in Grindr?
*scratches head in confusion*
trystham
March 27, 08:45ai tete m’ole…good qxn
Bane Salazar
March 27, 04:27Fucking learner. Is he the first married man on Grindr? Smh. He deserves whatever’s coming.
I know this dude. Married with 2 kids. Beautiful, masculine, muscled and very successful black man. Loves man pussy like a mo’fucker! (I know this cos I am a constant victim of his ass-eating that could go on and on for hours). Would talk with me for hours after we fuck good and we do shit together.
But the minute he steps through the gates of his house, he deletes all his apps – Grindr, Jackd, Scruff, Growlr, Hornet, BGClive – completely. He re-installs it allover after he kisses his wife goodbye in the morning and leaves home the next day.
Stressful yeah? I couldn’t possibly imagine. But if he can sacrifice that amount of time to protect his wife and kids from getting hurt at all, then you just know he is not even playing with his marriage at all!
Some men – like the guy in the blog post – don’t even care at all. Men aren’t that stupid, no, not at all. But cowards? Yes they can be! He was looking for a way out of that marriage but not bold enough to do shit about it. He just let fate decide for him.
Moral of the story: Grindr isn’t to blame here at all whether he or she downloaded it and what not. Protect your damn marriages or get the fuck out!
pinkpanthertb
March 27, 04:29Very passionately spoken, Bane. 😀 Are you sure you’ve shared everything with the class today? lol
A-non
March 27, 04:51As in ehn!
I could feel the heat from his written words.
Phew!
Bane Salazar
March 27, 06:54A whole lot more where that came from LOL!
A-non
March 27, 04:55I guess this could also be tied into deleting browsing history and saving all gay related activities in your phone in the most coded of folders if you don’t stay alone or cannot determine who just might have access to it.
Acting cautiously and playing safely are important nuggets of wisdom after all.
Peak
March 27, 05:27*** Nodding my head in total agreement with bane while taking notes as fast as I could***
Pinky!!! He dare no catch a scent of a juicy story, I can almost imagine him salivaiting for the rest of the gist.
Ringlana
March 27, 05:29The Wife is a freak,what was she looking on Grindr .Poor. Man. Desperate Housewife.GM
. Pete
March 27, 06:08So,you blaming the wife now.something must have happened for her to download the app
trystham
March 27, 08:47something like…? *raised eyebrow*
. Pete
March 27, 09:21I don’t know the entire story & I’m not clairvoyant. Do you think she just decided to download the app without a predisposing factor?
Dennis Macaulay
March 27, 06:35They are both victims here! I empathize with both of them! This is often the result of these marriages!
wazzosgrotto
March 27, 07:41LOL. It’s 2015 and people are still running around trying to keep up the happily married facade.smh.
One day sexuality will become inconsequential.
Until that day, we will just be sipping this tea hot while listening to Chaka Khan.
#tgif
Wazzos.
http://www.wazzos.wordpress.com
Sinnex
March 27, 07:59Wetin the wife dey find for Grindr? I don’t believe the story one bit. She says the man locks his phone, so, there is no way for her to have known that the guy uses the app. If she was suspicious of his sexuality, I don’t think Grindr would be the first place to search. The only explanation here is that maybe someone outted the man to his wife and told the woman what to do to find him.
The woman no sabi something sef, I don’t think she was right to have confronted him. Since she saw him on Grindr, that means she had an account and could have chatted him up, and planned a meeting; that way, the man won’t be able to deny it.
I am not really going to blame the man, the only blame I’d give him is due to the fact that he used his picture. Homosexuality is not a switch that can be turned off anytime. Even if one decides to get married, that doesn’t mean one would stop being gay.
It is obvious that the man satisfies her sexually and takes care of the family, what more does she want? The man even shows her he loves her. Please, what is the difference between a man cheating on his wife with a woman and a man cheating on his wife with a man?
There are some things you don’t need to bother yourself about…. She should just make sure that the man makes use of condoms….
Max
March 27, 08:23“It is obvious that the man satisfies her sexually and takes care of the family, what more does she want? ”
This sounds so Igbo ideology-like. Men cheat on their wives and buy them expensive cars… Then turn around and ask why they’re complaining…
I thought 21st century adults would’ve gotten rid of this line of thought. But I was wrong.
I made a promise to two people(Hello Peak &Dennis) that I’m willing to fulfill, Thats the reason for my subtle response. Your line of thought sickens me deeply.
MacArdry
March 27, 18:39Turning the new Chizzie,are you Max?
Sinnex
March 27, 20:46@Max You are free to say whatever you want…na you get your mouth, if you like, you fit use am chop shit…
Frank
March 27, 21:12“This sounds so Igbo ideology-like.” I’m amazed at the generalization of this sentence. Much as I do not agree with the view suggesting that once a wife is being taken care of by her husband, the said wife should only bother about the safety of her husband and her’s, by extension, I find it degrading and stereotyping when such view is termed “Igbo ideology-like”. This is veiled post-colonial mental slavery and a lack of believe in one’s tribe or a crude way of pushing one’s tribe into the trash-can. I’m Igbo and it is not my ideology. It is unfortunate if Max’s people hold such a view but he shouldn’t make it a general ideology of the Igbo race, that’s a fallacy.
***
Btw I’m a first time commenter. Been reading your articles and would say that you guys are a bunch of talents. Kudos
pinkpanthertb
March 28, 00:06Welcome Frank. 🙂
Max
March 27, 08:15Saw my colleague the other day on grindr. Wasnt that shocking, since he fit the bill of power B. News flash people- To all those grindr people, identifying people you know is very easy. The lips, jaw, beard, clothing, underwear, surrounding etc.
Well, the woman is a nice lady, I know some women who will go off the rails when they find their husband on grindr.
The damage that society does to us… Sighs
Façade
March 27, 08:54Sinnex u think it’s easy looking the other way when ur hobby is out there getting some ass?
pinkpanthertb
March 27, 09:44Do help me ask him.
Khaleesi
March 27, 10:29I can understand a Nigerian man having to get married to a woman in order to hide his sexuality, but when you live in a free and tolerant country and you still put up such a charade, i frankly dont know what to think! ! Luckily divorce laws in most western countries will favour this woman, I’d support her if she decides to sue his miserable, two-faced, deceitful ass – sue him for every penny and every last stitch of clothing he’s got – you can donate the clothing to charity … mtchwwww
Brian Collins
March 27, 14:11Khaleesi has spoken
keredim69
March 27, 20:37@Khaleesi, men getting married in order to hide their sexuality is still common place in the “free and tolerant world”.
In the UK there is a thin line between straight (married or single) and gay…and it is often blurred after a pint or two.
In Tel aviv, well anything kinda goes, very much to my delight 🙂
http://sagbachronicles.com/2013/12/21/shag-seeing-in-tel-aviv/
Sinnex
March 27, 22:29You just don’t get it. There are some who marry not because of the society, but because they want to. When will you guys understand. I for one would not marry a guy even if same sex marriage is legalised in Nigeria. I am sure there are many like me out there in the world.
Sinnex
March 27, 11:17….you guys are quick to pass judgement. You did not even sit down to think, maybe, just maybe someone is impersonating him….we all know this happens a lot in the world we live in…
Façade
March 28, 19:04@Sinnex yes he’s being impersonated so y is giving up his security code such a biggie?
Teflondon
March 27, 11:50Interesting read
**keeps sipping coffee**
(While calculating how many people I owe lunch now)
Bane Salazar i think owe you one.