Dear KD: Does The Gaydar Really Exist?

Dear KD: Does The Gaydar Really Exist?

I am a closeted gay man. And the only way I have been able to hook up has been online. But I am looking for more organic hookups, starting off friendships with men in real life. But my gaydar skills are terrible. I have no way of knowing which men surrounding me are gay or not. More so, it kind of feels mortifying to me whenever I’m amongst my friends and they randomly point out passersby who are queer while I wonder in silence how they are able to tell. It’s an enviable trait, I must admit.

When a friend of mine referred to his gaydar as him being blessed with the eye of the gods, I knew I just had to find out. From a bothered gay man, is gaydar a thing? And if so, how can I get mine to start working?

Submitted by Cupid

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20 Comments

  1. Absalom
    May 13, 07:02 Reply

    Just knack it on your palm three or four times then switch it on again. If that doesn’t work, it may be battery.

    Don’t mind me! ?

    • Francis
      May 13, 08:14 Reply

      Useless ????

      Poster, abeg gaydar is overrated and should not be tested in certain places especially Naija. No go kito ya sef oh

  2. Gad
    May 13, 07:21 Reply

    Very simple!. Fast for 3 days after which you go to the nearest cemetery and spend the night there. Identify a male grave and sit on it. Once it’s 1am, make whatever wishes you desire. In this case ability to identify a gay, tell the last person he slept with. NB: your wishes must not exceed 3. Once it’s 4am, you are free to go home.

  3. Bain
    May 13, 07:47 Reply

    Well, I was able to identify gay guys outside social media,when I started meeting more gay people in real life. Now I can practically enter a room and map out all the gay people there. Sometimes,I could get unsure.

    Trust me,gaydar is useless. Best way is to just ask.

  4. Johnny
    May 13, 08:07 Reply

    My gaydar is 90% effective. I can at first sight or seeing that person repeatedly for few days. Best is to ask but be careful.

  5. Delle
    May 13, 08:12 Reply

    I am a gay man. Probably the gayest of them all. And I have always been attracted to men since I could spell the word PENIS but one thing has eluded me.
    This gaydar of a thing.
    I can’t for the life of me tell a gay man just by looking at him except I conform to stereotypes. Now, if there’s anyone who should have the eye of the gay gods, it should be me.

    Reason I don’t believe there’s such a thing (more like I don’t want to believe *shrugs*). Some people, just like your friends and a couple of mine, are just very intuitive.

  6. Sense8
    May 13, 08:59 Reply

    It is overrated to be honest because it requires the use of stereotyping. Some guys may not trigger any response but are gayer than the rainbow. Others may tick all the boxes but are straighter than longitude and latitude. Play it by ear dear.

  7. Khaleesi
    May 13, 10:12 Reply

    The gaydar does exist, some of us are blessed with very strong ones while some of us, not so much. I find that as time goes by and I meet more gay men, my gaydar gets keener and more fine tuned. I guess it’s a tool you need to use frequently for it to calibrate better but then maybe you’re one of those who’s gaydar is irreparably broken. And yes, organic hookups are awesome! 1 organic hookup is worth 10 online ones for me. Use your gaydar more, pay close attention to your subject of interest particularly how he interacts with you, watch his eyes, body language etc, it’ll be a slow process at first but usually you’ll get better with the passing of time …

    • iAmNotAPerv
      May 14, 16:39 Reply

      I agree. I and most of the queer women i know have a fine tuned gaydar

  8. Façade
    May 13, 10:20 Reply

    The whole gaydar thing is just intuition, some are more intuitive than others. But this is flawed cos ur gaydar would fall flat on its face even if u have the eyes of Horus when u meet a meterosexual

    • Façade
      May 13, 10:25 Reply

      The gaydar works hand in hand with stereotypes so get ur hands on as much correct stereotypes on gay men as u could n check if the guy in question fits into some not necessarily all of em. That should give u a good insight to if he’s gay or open minded at most but this alone cannot be trusted. The next thing to do is tease subtly, you’d know if he’s gay from the way he responds to ur teasing

  9. OJ
    May 13, 16:52 Reply

    Gaydar? O di egwu! Mine is as dead as Nigerian Airways.. No hope of resurrection.

  10. cupid
    May 13, 21:11 Reply

    thanks everyone ,went through all the comments
    some were very informative and made me not feel alone while other were very funny to the extent I almost laughed my lungs out. thank you pink panther for taking your time out in rewriting and restructuring this post to make it flawless 🙂 .

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