Dear KD: What Do I Do About The Man I Love From Afar?

Dear KD: What Do I Do About The Man I Love From Afar?

Sometime last year, I met this guy on Grindr. It was supposed to be a hookup, no strings attached, because he doesn’t live in Nigeria. But one thing led to another, and I was at his place the weekend after our hookup and the one after that and on and on for about 5 months before he left. It was a very emotional departure, oh Lord, I cried. And I don’t cry, like, I am quite the hard-hearted bitch.

We shared something deep. We fell in love. The distance thing is killing me. We talk, chat and video-call every day, but I can’t help but want more. Breaking up with him is not an option I can envisage because I’m insanely in love with him. He really tries his best though with constant communication and stuff. With the different time zones and work shifts, I don’t get enough of him, but we chat and do all our regulars every day.

What do I do? I want more of him but he isn’t here and I love him so much and I can’t let distance fuck things up. This is the first real relationship I’ve been in.

Submitted by Tristan

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16 Comments

  1. Rayjay
    November 14, 04:29 Reply

    Tell him to invite u to where he is.
    Make plans towards visiting him

  2. Canis VY Majoris
    November 14, 06:40 Reply

    Aww. Loving from a distance can be a bitch.

    But he’s not in Mars, so you don’t need NASA’s help to get to him.

    Get on a plane and go receive the doze of love you both deserve.

    Breaking up due to long distance just means you don’t have what it takes to endure. Especially because the ones closer ain’t shit and worth the chance of ending something good.

    Virtual love is a THING and exists!

  3. Gad
    November 14, 06:47 Reply

    Meticulously plan a relocation but always bear the word “caution” in mind

    • Tristan
      November 15, 10:44 Reply

      I can’t relocate, not right now, I got important stuff going on here: school being the most important atm.

  4. trystham
    November 14, 07:37 Reply

    Emotional on whose part? You both or just yours? If it were both of u, it’s still good. Chances are the feelings are mutual and something might grow. Bur uncle, if its just on ur part, beta stay in ur bootycall lane and tryna delete dem deleterious emotions. Those shii can like to give headache

  5. Francis
    November 14, 07:38 Reply

    You first real relationship just had to be a long distance one. Na who you offend oh to deserve this kain stress?

    • Tristan
      November 15, 10:49 Reply

      I know it’s crazy. I didn’t even believe there was love at out there. When I accepted this, I knew what I wanted but then through the years, everyone I came across didn’t want the same thing as me and that just made me give up but then meeting him and realizing love is possible. I can’t just give that up. Who knows when next I’ll find it?

      • Francis
        November 15, 11:29 Reply

        You have a point sha. Best of luck. I really do hope it works out for you ??

  6. Ken George
    November 14, 09:57 Reply

    Stop wasting your time and call it off. You guys shld remain friends but forget the relationship thing. That thing u think is “love”, u will experience it with many more guys. More importantly i am sure subconciously u know this thing you guys have is already over. U are just having a hard time coming to terms with. Try to move on asap

    • Tristan
      November 15, 10:55 Reply

      This is a different kind of love. It’s just beginning.

  7. Delle
    November 14, 22:05 Reply

    I wish Tristan replies the comments at least we would know more of what he wants. We don’t even know if there are restrictions or reservations he feels towards the comments people are giving here.?

  8. Tristan
    November 15, 10:58 Reply

    So my question isn’t really about wanting to continue or end this relationship.
    I want to continue and I will continue.
    So I need help, what do I do?
    Already got the visiting thing and we’re working on that already.
    What else please?

    • Mash
      November 15, 18:48 Reply

      My dear go with the flow, if it works out fine and if it doesn’t all well and good you’d move on.
      Honestly I feel you’re just overthinking everything right now…calm down and see where all this leads!To me you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

  9. Sapphire
    November 17, 18:34 Reply

    Am so sorry bro, distance love can be a bitch,u ghat to move on…..okay?

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