Head In The Past, Feet In The Present

Head In The Past, Feet In The Present

We were boys. We were young and carefree.

And you were beautiful, the most beautiful boy I knew, and I was drawn to you. I didn’t know why and I didn’t care why.

Being around you was a feeling I wanted to last together. You didn’t seem not to like it either.

The times we would laugh. The times we would be mad at each other – was I even really mad at those time. The role plays – Oh the role plays. I looked forward to them and whenever you declined, I wanted to throw a fit and punch you somewhere it would hurt.

You would always play the dad and I the mom. It never did matter to me who played who. All that mattered was that I got to feel your lips on mine, its bare taste, never wanting to pull away from its touch. That I would lay beside you, skin to skin, under the dark of the blanket.

Whatever happened outside I didn’t care.

I moved, you moved, we grew apart. We lost contact.

Our memories still danced in my head as the years passed, as I wondered if we would ever happen.

Then I got your friend request on Facebook. A smile stretched across my face as I went through your pictures.

Later, we talked. It quickly became evident that we really did grow apart. I hated this.

My memories of us as little boys were rekindled, but I said nothing. I wasn’t sure about you.

But then you asked if I remembered. I said I did. Suddenly, inexplicably, I was angry and I was happy.

Good old times, you called them. And I laughed and downplayed it. “Maybe I just liked the kisses.” In another moment, I would have said, “I loved kissing you.”

But I did miss those times and I wanted you to know.

You said you’d call, and you haven’t. I would if I wasn’t so nervous.

I still wonder if we will ever happen.

I think I might never like anyone as much as I liked you – as much as I like you.

I wonder if we will ever happen.

I want to know.

Written by Charles

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3 Comments

  1. Mandy
    January 23, 10:05 Reply

    I remember a guy I used to runs things with in secondary school boarding house. We were so chummy, so close, so intimate. Then we graduated and ran into each other in the university and suddenly he was this straight dude who wouldn’t even acknowledge that me and him ever did anything in high school. As in, it was as though he left high school and wiped all that part of his past clean

    • Wonda Buoy
      January 24, 09:14 Reply

      Maybe it’s because you “ran things” with him and he doesn’t like the idea.

      When you perception of gay relations is likened to “playing games”…

  2. quinn
    January 23, 10:34 Reply

    Daaaamn. Such beautiful words!….oh I want to fall in love o. Father please this year!?

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