Once Upon A Heterosexual Time

Once Upon A Heterosexual Time

“Hey, good afternoon.”

I turned, caught the eye of the guy who had just spoken to me from across the counter at work, and instantly fell in lust. He was still talking, and so naturally, my stare drifted down to the most gorgeous thing God had ever created – his lips. They were full, a slightly darker hue than his skin colour, and carved so sensuously, you just know that God made them especially for the pleasure of a kiss.

It was with some effort that I pulled my attention from that centre of attraction to the words that were asking for service. He was not a happy customer, and his displeasure was etched on a face that was much too beautiful to be surly. I turned on a smile, ever so solicitous, wanting to be helpful in any way I could, wanting to make an impression. In that moment, I wished I possessed the flirtatious skills of one or two friends of mine, who can be wickedly humorous in the face of company, straight or gay, new or old. With this beautiful young man, I had nothing to say, no quick wit to offer, no scintillating quip to render. We were doomed that afternoon to be the customer and the service provider, nothing more.

But I came out of that encounter with one bit of success; I had his name (Akan Essien, for the purpose of this writeup). So, when he was on his way away from me, I quickly went to the one place where all thirsty people go to quench their thirst – the social media, specifically Facebook. I typed in the name, clicked Search, and a microsecond later, Zuckerberg handed over my beautiful stranger’s online persona to me. I got busy, clicking open his profile and perusing his pictures, soaking in the bright beam of his smile and envying all those males and females in those pictures who were basking in the warmth of his company.

I wanted to be them. I wanted to be in their place. I wanted to be with him. With Akan.

So I sent him a friend request.

Now what?

Wait fest na, let him accept the request.

I logged off Facebook and returned to work.

A couple of days passed, a couple of days filled with wistful thoughts of Akan, the owner of those lips that simply begs to be kissed and skin the colour of smooth cocoa that beckons the adventure of your tongue. I wanted him! But by God, how could I get him?

Then he came back.

“Good evening,” he said as he drew up to my work station.”I need some service.”

“I’d love nothing more,” I quipped oh-so-salaciously.

The innuendo bounced off him, because of course, male customers do not expect male service providers to flirt with them. He was all-business, brisk and straight to the point, although he responded to my solicitous smile with one of his own.

Oh sweet heavens!

Oh let thy living waters flow!

As we rounded up our business, I wanted o ask him about Facebook. So hey, did you happen to see any friend request from a so-and-so with a cheeky grin on his profile picture?

But I didn’t. I was too tongue-tied to cross that line. And he was too fine for me to gather that liver.

He left again, and I returned to my daydreaming. Of Akan. Of me. Of me and Akan. Skin against skin, sliding through sheets, intermingled cries of satisfaction. In my dreams, I orgasmed several times over, and Akan took me on every one of those journeys.

Then a few more days passed. And a Facebook notification dropped in. Akan Essien has accepted your friend request.


Okay, now what?


I navigated to his inbox. Hello, I typed.

Now, we wait.

I waited and waited, until time passed, and sex happened with other people, and other beautiful people came and passed through my work station, while my ‘Hello’ remained Sent but not Seen.

The day came when I uploaded a particularly hilarious meme on Instagram, one which pulled in a hefty number of Likes and comments. And then, right there, a notification dropped in: Akan Essien liked your photo.


I clicked on the name. The profile opened with a new page. And there he was. It was truly him!

I quickly followed him, liked a few pictures, asked for a follow-back. He followed back. And moments later, over in Facebook, his reply pinged into my inbox: Hi, what’s up?

I was elated. Oh my God! He’s here! He’s saying hi! It’s all happening so fast!

I responded. He replied. And there followed a light-hearted conversation that eventually veered off into Whatsapp.

I was attracted to Akan, too attracted to hold back on being forthright with him. I didn’t even know if he was gay or straight, but over time, he’d shown what a good heart he had. So I figured I’d out myself to him, complete with my desire for him, and either get turned down but retain his friendship or be received as a lover. I refused to consider that he might turn me down and turn his back on our friendship.

So I took in a deep breath and ripped off the band-aid.

He was flattered, but “…I’m sorry but I’m straight.” He was gracious about it. And he was intrigued with me, this gay friend he suddenly realized he had. He encouraged our friendship, encouraged me to be real with him, and never once judged. With him, there was no prejudice, just humour and a frank interest in my life and journey as a gay Nigerian. I provided education and he learned. I introduced him to Kito Diaries and he could not believe such a world existed. I talked about love and heartbreak, and he was astounded by the parallels we shared in our relationships, gay and straight. I slipped into darkness and he shed some light. I looked to laugh, and he was ready with the humour.

Somehow, this stranger I’d started out desiring became the straight friend I’d honestly never had.

Several months passed, and peppering our conversations was this intention to meet again, to spend some time in each other’s company. He lived in Ibadan, and for the longest time, the right weekend for a visit just couldn’t happen.

Eventually it did, and he asked me over. I travelled light, sat in the front passenger seat of a cab that seemed to fly over the road with an urgency I felt. About three hours later, I was walking into the fastfood where Akan said he’d be waiting for me. I stood at the entrance and looked around, seeking the familiar face. And then, there he was, rising while flashing a smile at me. As I walked over to him, I took him in, molecule after molecule. I had almost forgotten how tall he was. I had almost forgotten what a bright beam his smile was. And I had almost forgotten how, in spite of the steady hum of our friendship, he was the beautiful man I’d fallen in lust with.

Be still, my beating heart.

Several moments later, we were in his abode. He was a delightful host, very considerate, almost surprised that I wasn’t high maintenance. We bantered a lot, our laughter and teasing more unrestrained without the inhibitions of phone calls and chat messages.

He worked out, and panting, he dropped the dumbbells and gasped, “Fuck me.”

To which I deadpanned, “Anytime.”

He laughed hard at that. The chemistry of our friendship was just right.

When the sun sank in the West that day and the darkness rose over the sky, we huddled together on the bed to watch another beautiful man, Omari Hardwick, do his thing on the TV series, Power.

My fatigue took over soon, and I turned away from the laptop and slipped into slumber. It was a deep, undisturbed sleep, but I drifted ashore at separate times – when he turned off the laptop, when the night got cold, and when he moved his lying position from being half on the bed and half on the floor to fully stretched out beside me on the bed.

And still I slept.

The chill heightened when it began raining, and the shivers running through my body woke me up and caused me to instinctively seek the comfort of the nearest warmth – Akan’s body. He was lying with his back to me, and so I curled into a ball behind him. But I wasn’t wearing any top and the cold was assaulting my bare back and legs. Emboldened by my desperation for warmth, I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He didn’t resist; he moved, turning so he was now lying on his back, and giving me the opening to burrow against him. His right arm lay uselessly under my head as I engaged my legs with his.

“Hold me,” I growled impatiently, tugging at the useless right hand.

His laughter rumbled through the chest beneath my head. “I’ve never held a guy before,” he said.

“Well, it’s the same as holding a girl,” I muttered, dropping the hand over my shoulder.

The hand stayed in place. He remained unresisting beside me, not even recoiling when I snaked my hand over his midriff to clutch him close to me.

“You’re cold,” he observed. “Do you want me o get you a wrapper?” He was fully clothed.

“No,” I demurred and held him closer.

“I should get you a wrapper,” he said when I shivered again.

“Don’t worry. This is fine.”

And so we laid there, bodies mashed together, limbs entangled, no sleeping. I noticed that his left hand was placed over his crotch, and his heart beat was a rapid tattoo beneath me.

Now what?

Now…I don’t know.

A lot of things flashed through my mind, emotions that were tugging this way and that, feelings and reason clashing for supremacy. I wanted him so much; in those moments, my entire nerve endings were fired up with need for this man lying this close to me. I had an erection, full and throbbing, and I wondered if he could feel my dick’s spasms through our clothes. I wanted to know if he had an erection, to know if I’d given him one, if I could give him one. All I had to do was slide my hand down, displace his hand and grab at his crotch.

But I couldn’t. I felt both desirous and afraid. I feared that I might damage something irreparably if I invaded him that way. I feared that he might put a stop to my amorousness, that he would say no, that he would push me away back into the cold. I feared that he would say yes and yield to the lust that would kill our friendship the morning after. I feared the risk of the unknown.

So now what?

Now…I still don’t know.

I thought about all those gutsy gay men with their outrageous stories of boldly seducing straight men. I wondered why I didn’t have such gumption. I wondered what was more important to me, forcing his passion now and damning the consequences, or letting him be and preserving what already is.

Lying there, cuddled up next to him, the beat of his heart serving as a rhythm to my ear, I made my decision when I murmured, “You’re not asleep, are you?”

“No,” he murmured back.

“Can we talk – you know, just talk about stuff?”

“Sure,” he answered.

And for the rest of the night till the bleary wink of dawn, all we did was talk.

Written by Pink Panther

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  1. Lemuel
    June 16, 04:51 Reply

    Pink Panther This is a wicked suspense filled story. I could relate to all that. I dared to pull out the di*k and as I planted my mouth into it. Dude said ‘Lemuel what’s that?’ to which I replied BJ and he said “Leave me joor”

    • Pink Panther
      June 16, 04:55 Reply

      Mehn, I didn’t want to risk that kind of rejection. The fear was real.

    • dabo
      June 16, 05:58 Reply

      I dared to pull out the di*k and as I planted
      my mouth into it. Dude said ‘Lemuel what’s that?’ to which I
      replied BJ and he said “Leave me joor”

      kikikikikiki! how did u even manage to get the dick out ?? pinky see tea! biko spill!

      • Lemuel
        June 16, 06:54 Reply

        Yes I did. Dude allows me to play with his tower rod dick.

    • Drone
      June 16, 08:17 Reply

      I grabbed his hard crotch.
      He grabbed my hand.
      “Drone, what do you want ”
      ” BJ. Nothing serious ”
      ” why ”
      ” you’re attractive ”
      BJ starts. He cums without warning in less than 5 seconds. I’m shocked at how fast that was and I make a joke about not swallowing. He doesn’t laugh but goes to his laptop to watch whatever (I woke him up in the dead of night). He comes back to bed after and I want to give another go.
      “I’m not going to stop you, but I don’t want this ”
      ” why”
      ” it’s like you being bothered by a girl ”
      ” huh”
      I get pissed, roll off to sleep and leave the next day.
      He avoids me for a while. I tell him that I know he’s avoiding me
      He’s back to being free with me now, but it’s not like before.

      I would not have done all that if he didn’t flirt with me after coming out to him. He was surprised when I did because I’ve never bothered him when we’ve shared beds many times before, or given any signs except my sexual apathy towards girls.
      Maybe it would have been better if that didn’t happen. I don’t know ?

    • Delle
      June 16, 10:10 Reply

      Lmfao @leave me jor. Leave me jor? Like saying, ” I know it’s the most natural thing for a you Lemuel to want to suck my dick in the middle of the night but I’m just not in the mood tonight. Maybe tomorrow, Lemuel. Leave me jor.”

  2. bruno
    June 16, 06:34 Reply

    lol. the amount of inappropriateness in a single story.

  3. Kainene
    June 16, 06:38 Reply

    Pinky! Warrisit? And dat is how u had me rushing tru d story to see the ending and all you did was TALK! *looks around for sharp object to throw at you*

    • Pink Panther
      June 16, 07:37 Reply

      Hahahahaa!!! Eesit my fault you didn’t let your mind rest one place, eh Kainene?

    • Shuga chocolata
      June 16, 07:47 Reply

      Biko Don’t throw the China’s ooooo.
      They are highly pricey.
      You can use ogi and custard.
      Throw biscuits at him, which kin high tension biko?

  4. Ueze
    June 16, 07:08 Reply

    See talkative naa! *insert quick hiss*

    • Mandy
      June 16, 08:48 Reply

      Lmao I follow you hiss too o. Who talk epp abeg?

    • Ueze
      June 16, 15:06 Reply

      Shaa Pinks, may I get a step-by-step recipe for ripping off band-aids of this kind? Preferably, the exact recipe you used here?

      • Pink Panther
        June 16, 19:01 Reply

        Hahahahaa. I’ll send Professor Snape to you. He brewed the exact portion I used to rip off the band-aid.

      • Pink Panther
        June 16, 19:04 Reply

        On a more serious note though, before I took that step, I attained a fatalistic view of our friendship. I told myself I was ready for any reaction. And I’d be decisive in my response to his reaction. If he was accepting, awesome. If he was patronizing, you know, acting accepting and still trying to guilt me, I’d shut him down. If he was revolting, then I’d let him go. If there’s a friend you want to come out to, you have to prepare yourself for any reaction he might have, and brace yourself to not be tolerant if the reaction is negative.

  5. miztadiol
    June 16, 07:29 Reply

    I thought I was the only looking for some good action at the end. Only to see TALK at the end.. #eyespinky#

  6. Queen Blue Fox
    June 16, 08:01 Reply

    Wait you too talked! YOU TALKED?! *bangs head on the wall*
    Pinky Dearest, we need to talk. Apparently you didn’t get the seductive part of the family gene

  7. MagDiva
    June 16, 08:02 Reply

    Oh Pinky! This story had me all the way. Holding my breath, keeping my fingers crossed that boundaries were respected and what seems like a good friendship not ruined due to a raging boner.

    Kudos to you. Takes discipline

    Ps- are you guys still friends?

  8. JBoy
    June 16, 08:58 Reply

    In as much as I respect the lane you tolled, but that night would have been bliss for both of us; he would have cum and come back. We wouldn’t have been lovers but a friend that gets him in tune to swèet pleasure.

    His hand on his crotch and the rapid heartbeats are signs that he was battling a powerful hard-on.

    Worry less, it will happen someday, he’ll be the one to make the move when it will; I know his type.

    Thanks for sharing.

  9. Mandy
    June 16, 08:58 Reply

    I was wishing, so wishing for a salacious ‘and then the straight guy shagged the bejesus outta me’ ending.

  10. Silver Cat
    June 16, 09:19 Reply

    Ajo umuaka, that’s what y’all are. I’ve cuddled up next to quite a lot of straight folks and all we ever did was talk. Pinky I can relate mbok. Some friends are worth more than a shag no matter how joyful the ride.

  11. Delle
    June 16, 09:55 Reply

    Awww. This isn’t how it was supposed to end. All you needed was two pieces of liver and a touch PP. Two pieces of liver and a fucking touch!

    Had I been the one, his straight dick is mine. Even if it’s a bj. You’d make him want you during the day and snag him at night. Straight men always have a weakness. They always do and it’s my duty to capitalise on such weak points *snickers*.

  12. Masked Man
    June 16, 10:04 Reply

    I wouldn’t have the strength to overcome this kinda temptation. It all ends the moment my head rests on his chest. That one don pass be careful.

  13. IBK
    June 16, 10:31 Reply

    I’m honestly glad all you did was talk.

  14. Handle
    June 16, 11:29 Reply

    Safe to assume he is going to read this and realize how badly you wanted / still want him. When is the next sleep over again?

    • Pink Panther
      June 16, 19:06 Reply

      I’m sure there’s loads of tricks you could teach me, so much seduction wisdom you could impart. 😀

  15. Griffin
    June 16, 13:20 Reply

    Chai, LMAO, ndi mills and boons erotica, ndi Harlequin romance, see all of them.

  16. Terra
    June 16, 15:40 Reply

    Not every time erotica abeg. Sometimes talk. Talk is good

    • Duke
      June 16, 18:46 Reply

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa! I swear i laughed so hard at this comment for some reason. LMFAO! Talk is good sometimes, not every time fuck fuck.

  17. Khaleesi
    June 16, 17:01 Reply

    Its good you didn’t push him into anything he doesn’t want Pinky, let him guide the pace and in his own terms, if a shag happen, fine, if it doesn’t, at least you’ll have one nore accepting and open-minded friend in your corner …

  18. Duke
    June 16, 18:53 Reply

    Amazing suspenseful story PP! Trust me, i have been in this situation more time than i can remember. I have realized taking the high road is the best way to go. you preserve your friendship and save yourselves some awkwardness. Of course, sometimes it works and you guys have a good time but in the end the friendship may not be as before.

    • Pink Panther
      June 16, 18:59 Reply

      True. But mehn, my heart aches, still aches, with frustrated desire when I think of, chat with or talk to him.

  19. Delle
    June 16, 20:43 Reply

    Hoe! Biko that chance aff pass. Onto the next one osiso!

  20. Dickson Clement
    June 18, 14:05 Reply

    This is good. Pink Panther is a good writer! It’s always a good read and I have had these moments too. Perfect description… but how did it end?

  21. Daddy Yo!
    January 05, 12:58 Reply

    And i was just beginning to grab some lubes and wank to him shagging the fuck off your Bussy.
    PP why na? Why now? Why talk?
    Just, Why?

  22. Net
    January 05, 15:12 Reply

    Lool experienced something similar but didn’t dare to cross that boundary after many other fucks I’ve moved on ??

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