1. If you sag your trousers, you are gay. (Why the hell are you advertising your ass?)
2. If you wear one pair of boxers for a hundred years in a bid to gather up musk and protect your ass, you are gay. (Why else do things going into your ass bother you?)
3. If you walk like a man, you are fucking gay. (Gay guys walk like men too, you know.)
4. If you walk around shirtless or with only boxers on, you issa bloody fag! (Advertising your assets to men, abi? We are watching you.)
5. If you don’t wear pink, well, you are gay. (Your fear of pink is the beginning of your homosexuality.)
6. If you womanize in public, you are just a homo. (Abi you don’t want us to suspect you, eh? You haf fail!)
7. If you are homophobic, you are as gay as Moonlight. (If homosexuality bothers you, check yourself, bruh…cuz we be checking you.)
8. If you are masculine, you are gay. (Stay there and be faking and over-hyping it o! We see you.)
9. If your means of public transport is okada, you are gay. (So you are comfortable with a man’s butt in front of you, abi? No wonder!)
10. If you watch football, you are gay. (Let us be real for a second. It’s literally just barely-covered hunks everywhere on that field that you are watching. Porn watcher much?)
11. If you go to the gym., bruh, you are gay. (Biko what’s gayer than huffing and puffing in a roomful of semi-clad men?)
12. If you love Jesus and you “kneel” (lol), staring at his half-naked form (lol), saying, “Jesus, cum into me”, brethren, you are gay AF!
Now, with these few points of mine, I hope I’ve been able to convince you on all the ways you can identify a gay man in Nigeria.
Written by Bain