K’osidim n’obi

K’osidim n’obi

I happened on Kito Diaries roughly a year and half ago. I was just eighteen, in the closet, and trying to focus on starting a career. I was in my first year in school, and was confused about my sexuality.

I won’t say I grew up in a strict family. No. On the contrary, mum and dad were pretty liberal. At a point, they stopped going to church entirely because they felt the messages were getting mixed, and they weren’t getting what they wanted. “I’d rather pray in my own home over a plate of eba and egusi soup and drench my sorrows in white wine,” my mother would joke. I was eleven at the time.

Well back to my discovery of KD, I had just met Zilayefa, and I happened to ask him one morning: What are you up to this morning?

Eating breakfast and going through Kito Diaries, he typed back.

Those were the words that changed my life for good. Before then, I’d never heard of Kito Diaries.

I looked up the blog and I came upon the posts of the day. After going through these updates, I shut the site down, not believing anything so “vulgar” could exist. I mean, I was a walking, talking, breathing sin. I was gay! We were all destined to burn in hell, weren’t we? Why brandish our sinful lives and stories before the world? I was filled with guilt at what I’d seen and read, and I vowed never to go through that vile blog again.

Toward evening, my fingers found their way back to my phone. I’d heard of single moments defining people’s lives, but I’d never believed it till then. I felt this strong confidence growing, this deep pride, this hope. It was like an instant crossover. I’d spent my life looking at the world through a screen; finally I could step out. I could breathe. I could unapologetically be ME!

I’ve never looked back since that day. I wanted to have a voice. I wanted to reach out, to peel the blindfold off, to scratch and bite till we were all free. The idea of this series has always been on my mind since then; I guess I just never felt ready enough.

My solution to every gay man seeking freedom has always been Kito Diaries, and the best part of it is that this ‘medication’ of mine usually works for them as it did for me.

Every one of you is a piece of work. Lol! But I’d like to say how much you all contribute to getting me where I am now. Especially my dear Zilayefa, you have been an awesome friend.

I have seen and had my own share of LGBT experiences. I was helped by the sharing of yours, every KDian, and hopefully I can help others by sharing mine. K’osidim n’obi is my opportunity to let it all out, to strip (figuratively).

My name is Kainene. I will be turning twenty in three months time. And I am a homosexual man.

YES! *swelling with pride*

Finally I have conquered the “homo” word. *giggles*

See y’all next week.

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19 Comments

  1. doe eyed monster
    October 10, 06:46 Reply

    Awww…we await you dear.. Paint those rainbow colours in all their glory #anticipate

  2. Mandy
    October 10, 07:36 Reply

    This episode/pilot entry is just a testament of survival. 😀 Good one, Kainene.
    Vile blog, eh? ?????? You tried it.

  3. Jo
    October 10, 08:02 Reply

    Ride on bro… (no pun intended). Some of us may just find the courage to confront our fears

  4. McGray
    October 10, 08:14 Reply

    That name Kainene reminds me of my crush in Half of a Yellow Sun. Nwanne m jisie ike, we await u. Pinky hs really done more than enough to earn himself a VIP apartment in Heaven

  5. Whitney
    October 10, 08:50 Reply

    Kainene___let’s be watching.
    Nice piece. Here has been my home. When I’m weary I’d just come in to have rest.

  6. posh6666
    October 10, 09:09 Reply

    And wat does this igbo word mean exactly pls?

  7. Delle
    October 10, 11:03 Reply

    Yasss! I’d just have to order cartons of Pink Lady to go with this.

  8. zilayefa
    October 10, 11:57 Reply

    (in slow movement) Well Manicured nails covered in metallic Grey Polish, picks up wine glass, sips gently, turns head slightly, points jaw in the air, smiles and swells with pride….. see you darling….. Always remember to BE…..sprinkles glam dust of Kainene. Je’bili!

  9. Mister Em
    October 10, 15:18 Reply

    Kainene. You are preaching to the choir. Kdies opened my eyes to new things and self acceptance. When I discovered I was Hiv+. I was scared I was reacting too easy but I guess bcos Kdies educated me enough. Pinky sure does deserve a price for this. Preferably a Nobel peace price.

  10. swanky
    October 11, 16:50 Reply

    The positive impact of kd can never be over empasised . I’m more than elated to be here. Any day I didn’t log on to KD, I feel like I got hit by a truck. Keep up the good work guys. PP I’m proud of you n DM nnmmm “I comment my reserve” you’re awesome.

  11. .•*Sugaar.•*
    October 11, 18:33 Reply

    Ha ha ha oh blood of God! Ah, Jesus…
    I just want to give a shout out to all members, of this blog and the entire administration….
    Allah ya albarkace ku. (God bless ya)
    Long live KITODIARIES
    ✋? My allegiance to ya’

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