Open Letter To KDians: Expectations Versus Reality

Open Letter To KDians: Expectations Versus Reality

Dear KDians

I have always admired what Kito Diaries stands for and the sense of community it has fostered among the gays in this part of the world.

That said, I happened on a post from a couple of days ago, the ‘public announcement’ post where a guy declared his search for a roommate and gave certain requirements a lot of readers did not agree with. And these many, many readers went in on the comments section and they were very painfully rude and verbally lacerating. I was disappointed because, if these people understood the reality of what it means to be gay or bisexual in Nigeria, I doubt their comments would have been as decidedly mean.

I understood this fellow’s standpoint perfectly because I live alone and as far as it goes, I am a HUGE introvert. So far, only seven people have ever visited me and I’ve fucked just three guys here. However, even at that, my neighbors have started questioning me and scrutinizing my every move and anyone who knocks on my door.

That is not something I have the energy to deal with. And with all this, if I were to require a flat mate, what sort of guy would you expect I’d go for?

Guys, maybe his requirements were a tad extreme but he is coming from somewhere. This is a country where people are arrested and disgraced, blackmailed and tortured for being gay. I would know, it has all happened to me before. Not everyone is here to be a gay rights activist. Some people just want a quiet life where we can just be free to live without looking over our shoulders all the time.

If that means living in the closet, then let us live comfortably in our closets. Bearing this in mind, let us try our utmost best not to spew vile words at those of us who do so.

Written by Chuk Bass

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144 Comments

  1. pete
    May 29, 06:07 Reply

    “So far, only seven people have ever visited me and I’ve fucked just three guys here.”

    Hmmmmm

  2. Griffin
    May 29, 06:35 Reply

    Nobody had a problem with his requirements, I dunno if you read those comments properly,it was his presentation or rather amusing vocabulary that people mocked…… Una sabi take panadol for person headache ehn!!!, Although that little tidbit of info about how many guys you’ve fucked in your house tho, you just had to. *RMFE*

  3. Peak
    May 29, 06:48 Reply

    Mr Bassey, I am willing to admit that you have a point in ur assessment, just as I will also point out that ur assessment isn’t analytical enough. There are 2 sides to this story. One wants 2 stay in the closet and be comfortable in it, but in his quest to do so, he threw a couple of other people under the bus. Among the many things KD “stands” for, is a place where we can all come and be seen, heard, not discriminated against, have a sense of inclusiveness. Basically it’s a place we can call home. Not just home, but a home where we are wanted.

    Personally, I didn’t find it offensive, but I can’t fold my hands and say ” it doesn’t affect me”, and be willing to speak up only when an issue afffects me. No one here needs a reminder that being gay/Bi is no joke, that is the reality we all face everyday. Hence why we implore each other to be a little nicer, understanding and accommodating. I could have add no femmes with a lil reason to back it up. A god fearing person but not a fanatics and during meets/interviews, select who best fits the level of religiousness that I am looking for. Instead of “of eye for chichs or whatever, I’d say a bisexual. I’d still get flanks for it (I mean its KD and ppl are always looking for who to direct their rage at) but it woukd be less offensive. Its hard on all of us and extra hard on those who are starring at the big 30 or crossed over it. But that is no excuse to say unflattering things and expect people who have been discriminated against all their lives to take it while lying down. It hurt to be discriminated against by an outsider, and hurts even more if its coming from an insider who ought to know better. I am not advocating for uncouth behaviour and vile expressions. I just want us to show more CONSIDERATION in our dealings with one another. It’s a simple mistake that anyone of us could have made or can make, lets all just see it as a form of correction and not a hate filled backlash. KD is a learning ground, lets be guided accordingly.

    Good morning everyone.

    • Santa Diaba
      May 29, 07:46 Reply

      Thank you Peak, for that nicely worded contribution. Your comments are always so even handed and rational ?

  4. Francis
    May 29, 06:51 Reply

    Hmmmm. Not so subtle “I’m not a slut” advertisement? ????

    We understand where he’s coming from but his manner of presentation was somewhat disgusting. It’s like going on Grindr to jam no blacks, no Asians, no Indians, no white boys, no fems, i don’t eat rice and what have you.

    • Keredim
      May 29, 07:48 Reply

      @Francis, regarding the Grindr profile, how does “Only Prefer white men” come across?

      • Keredim
        May 29, 08:02 Reply

        Exactly @Francis, it has the same effect as “No blacks or Asians”

        No matter how politely or “Politically Correct” you state your preference, the excluded party will feel offended.

        • Francis
          May 29, 08:16 Reply

          Well awon frequent users and app developers should sit down and work on figuring out a better choice of words so no one gets “unnecessarily” offended.

  5. Wiffey
    May 29, 07:17 Reply

    I actually found that advert very annoying and offensive but the only reason I didn’t comment was that as Joan Rivers would say “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say nothing at all”. I concore with everything Peak has said above, he had no right to come in here of all places to start discriminating against gays (guys who do not have eyes for chicks) I mean KD is for gays and we are barely tolerating Bisexual as part of the community. We get you want someone responsible but over emphasizing the “working class” adjective was very disrespectful to me because working or not a slut will always be a slut even if he works for the presidency.

    Oh and by the way honey, we are all going to keep looking over a shoulders for a very long time because of people like you.

    • Chuk Bass
      May 29, 13:57 Reply

      Because of people like who exactly?

      And what on earth do you mean by “we barely even tolerate bisexuals”?

      What sort of a double standard is that? You’re looking for society’s acceptance and you’re barely tolerating others because they don’t share your views.

  6. Dennis Macaulay
    May 29, 07:18 Reply

    Today is not the day, and I am not the one!

    *Returns to the sheets*

    • Pink Panther
      May 29, 07:24 Reply

      My friend, gerrout of those sheets and let the devil use you for once!

  7. Mandy
    May 29, 07:29 Reply

    Your neighbors are questioning you and scrutinizing your every move and anyone who knocks on your door? And you’re giving room for these liberties because?
    I don’t understand people who let the audacities of neighbours get out of hand. As long as you’re carrying on with your life discreetly and carefully, I don’t give a fuck for what my neighbour thinks o. And if he comes near me with his questions (not like I’d ever give room for such closeness), I’d shut him down so fast, he’d think twice before being a busybody with my affairs to my face. I can’t control what you say about me to yourselves. But I can damn well keep you and your tatafo out of my bloody way.

    • Santa Diaba
      May 29, 07:51 Reply

      Oh my God, Mandy, you took the comment right out of my keypad!
      What dirty neighbours????
      One of my neighbours TRIED to poke into my life, and I read him his mothereffing rights! You are the one allowing room for nonsense.

    • Francis
      May 29, 07:57 Reply

      ??????????

      I don’t even give them the chance to feel too familiar and be asking stupid questions. Good morning, good morning. Bye bye unless there’s a pressing matter in the compound or i need you to help me fix something.

      Everybody stay on ya lane

      I don’t intrude in your business, you don’t intrude in mine.

  8. bryannnn
    May 29, 07:32 Reply

    MY OPINION:

    Can we cut this young man some slacks already???? Can we just spare him the waspish remarks already??? He rented the house, I just feel he should be able to enjoy that exclusive rights of choosing whoever he wants. What happened to reading a statement and allowing it slide, if u not really digging it.Let’s just respect his opinion coz when it starts happening, we are not the ones that will get mobbed. My dear, stick to your search, till u find him…neva compromise.tnx

      • Francis
        May 29, 08:00 Reply

        If only you had the force of the Holy Spirit in you to ignore the nonsense you come across on Grindr???????

        • Keredim
          May 29, 08:14 Reply

          Dude…. You need a reality check…Seriously????

          • Francis
            May 29, 08:18 Reply

            Which dirty reality check? Abegi…..

    • Francis
      May 29, 08:09 Reply

      @Bryannnn He would be accorded that slack when he admits to poor selection of words. Na everyday person dey learn and from personal experience, if no one comes for you, you’ll just continue to stew in your mess thinking all is well when it’s really not.

      It’s like Caitlyn making some stupid remarks about the movement and awon LGBT people looking away like nothing stupid was said.

  9. Chizzie
    May 29, 08:25 Reply

    Chuks Bassey maybe you should have dropped your ‘open letter’ in the comment section like the rest of us did, because at the end of the day it’s really just your opinion. An opinion, nothing more, nothing less. It also doesn’t change the fact that the vast majority of people found that ad condescending and offensive. Just because you happen to live alone and have decided to be paranoid and care over the opinions of your neighbours doesn’t give your opinion higher prestige over others.

    There are many gay readers that live alone. I believe PP is one of them, so far he hasn’t been lynched or had cause to worry about his safety or been thrown in jail.

    Nigerian gays are so paranoid, it’s actually irritating. I strongly believe that your neighbour’s scrutiny or what not, is something you’ve made up in your head, or either that the only other explanation would be that you reside in a low cost settlement /compound. Cause I honestly cannot fathom why anyone residing in a civilized area will have such neighbours.

    I stay in a place where sometimes I don’t even see my neighbours for days.

    When the chips are down, stop being paranoid and don’t live in Face Me – I Face You compounds. Also keep your opinions in the comment section, tainz and have a nice Sunday

    • bruno
      May 29, 08:32 Reply

      well this pretty much sums it up.

    • Max 10
      May 29, 08:46 Reply

      Touché @Chizzie..

      Lemme add- if you cannot afford a decent apartment, then werk werk werk werk werk werk for it!!. Since you guys are good at having random sex, you could learn from one of our blog old hags and turn it into a business. I heard its quite lucrative.

      • Keredim
        May 29, 09:05 Reply

        Ermmm, that would be me folks. Get my e-mail from KDadmin/PP, or hit me up on facebook.

        Rather on “old hag” than a “young dry looking” one

        • posh6666
          May 29, 12:51 Reply

          Looooooool drama for days! Savages everywhere on this blog jeez! How can such little comments have so much bloodbath n poison in them?#BitchGoals#

          I laughed so hard at the old hag shade and the epic unashamed comeback.What was life like before kd sef???BORING!

  10. KennedyI
    May 29, 08:39 Reply

    Sum1 just said KD is 4 gays and they r trying to tolorate bisexuals…. Abeg, can d Admin kindly explain further? *lost*

    • Henrie
      May 29, 08:45 Reply

      I thought i alone saw that. Some clarification will go a long way.

      • Pink Panther
        May 29, 10:51 Reply

        I’ve clarified this before. The blog is an LGBT blog. Unfortunately, I cannot control what other people take away from the blog.

  11. bruno
    May 29, 08:42 Reply

    here’s a reality check for you

    – as an active gay/bisexual man living in nigeria, it is in your own best interest to stop allowing homophobic strangers so much access into your life to the point where they are free to questioning your choice of friendship and association.

    – also if you need to edit your personal life so much so as to please these strangers who are openly living theirs, it only shows where your priorities lie and what kind of person you are.

    – like chizzie said, nothing that was said here requires a fresh post. kindly drop it in the comments section next time.

  12. Max 10
    May 29, 08:43 Reply

    Dear Mr Bassey,

    I regret to inform you that you’re a paranoid fuck and also have the same problem with the whacko Dude who made that disgusting post few days ago. “Your neighbors are questioning your every move”? Seriously do you live in a face me I face you?(for the #Anti-povertyshaming KDians, argue with your corpse once you’re dead after reading this).

    The problem with Nigerian gay community is that we spend too much time making friends and mingling with the wrong people all in a bid to be accepted. Tell me why you canoodle with your neighbors? The same people who would burn you at the stake once they find out you’re gay. If you stay on your own without being a silly busy body looking to mingle with #Yard people, nobody will have the audacity to ask you anything. **stretches out hand** receive some #Respeck for yourself.

    Coming here to make excuses for some annoying asshole who lives in Ikeja is an insult to us all. All gay people should know this- trying to state your silly preferences while low-key shaming other gay people in respect of certain aspects of their gayness is a very douche-move and won’t/shouldn’t be tolerated by anyone and there’s no amount of excuse that can save you, preferences be damned.

    I cannot accept your narrow-mindedness and fear induced paranoia steeped in a very potent internalized homophobia. No No No No.

    Before you press that button to send silly arguments like this next time, please read it again, at least twice. Sadly, the Nigerian gay community is filled with people like you.

    #DontToneTheGayDown
    #FuckAssholeFriends
    #FuckLosers
    #FuckIH
    #BeYourSelf
    #FuckCheapRent
    #ReceiveBrain
    #FixHimLawd
    #FuckParanoia

    • Keredim
      May 29, 09:08 Reply

      The hypocrisy in this comment is alarming!

      You the tried / tired & tested patient zero of IH?!? ???

      • Dennis Macaulay
        May 29, 09:27 Reply

        Nna no matter how much you hold up a mirror, some people will never look into it, cos they fear their reflection!

        Tsk Tsk

      • Max 10
        May 29, 09:39 Reply

        @OldHag, the level of discrimination you show here on a daily basis is alarming. @Dennis, the person you’re licking his butt is a self proclaimed #Ultra-Straight-Acting-Top-Quality-Top, so I don’t think your ass-licking effort would be highly appreciated.

        He loves them muscular with bubble butt and Straight-Acting(#NoFemmesPlease) and I don’t think you fit the profile.

        • Dennis Macaulay
          May 29, 10:06 Reply

          And you slut shame, complexion shame, age shame, bi shame and marriage shame (is that even a phrase?).

          Only you is filled with so many different types of prejudice! And you think you have the moral compass to call someone out on discrimination?

          Is it Osogbo weed you are smoking? Or Fayose’s own?

        • Pink Panther
          May 29, 10:58 Reply

          Max, they didn’t say they want to shag each other, so I don’t see how its relevant stating whether Dennis fits Keredim’s profile or not.
          And honestly, are u now about to carry over the ass-licking horn from Tefmushin? Every two people that now agree,simply becos they are disagreeing with u, must be ass-licking each other? Do you not remember when you thought it ridiculous coming from the original commenter of the ass-licking remarks?

    • Peak
      May 29, 12:11 Reply

      Max you need to go have several seat on that part of Bayels’ s creeks labelled hole-and-corner right next to Patient Jonathan. Rolling up to recite the appropriation of word usage and vices of discrimination when the entire garbage you typed above is dripping with high handedness and discrimination.

      As someone who is in the business of managing people’s finances, with knowledge of the economy, one would expect you to have sound judgement on financial disparities and how it works. I guess that is too much to expect from a so called “learnered and exposed” Nigerian these days.
      The demands we place at the door of society, yet we can’t give ourselves the tiniest of regard. So cos they can’t afford to live in a ” mansion” in a highbrow area of town that you are always quick to imply to us in ur comments, they aren’t fit to be regarded as human and have right to sex or be considered gay? Away with you and ur overinflated sense of importance. The nerve of it all!

      • Deola
        May 29, 12:20 Reply

        Lol. Peak milk ti binu ???

        Comments are lit as usual. ????

    • Max 10
      May 29, 12:22 Reply

      Like I said before, to all the anti-povertyshaming mafia here, how ever you wanna interpret what I wrote or what ever you take away from this, I don’t care. You can argue with your dead corpse once you’re dead after reading. @Peak, @Dennis, I’d take my time to reply you both, but today is not the day.

      I’ll just be here relaxing on my perfectly perched white high horse, watching you both tumble in the muddy smelly gutters where you’ve both shamelessly descended.

  13. IBK
    May 29, 08:43 Reply

    Bouahahahahahahahahaahhaha

    Quiet life and your neighbours are already questioning you. Quiet indeed..

    Like a friend of mine says “why do people feel like homophobia will look at whether you’re in the closet, loud, quiet or whatever”

    hunnay, we know what it means to be gay in Nigeria cause we are nigerian. As much as our struggles are unique they are also the same.

    And no one is stopping you from living in the closet or shunning activism.. Just don’t come with your smelly IH and put it under our noses and expect us to not react. It’s also amusing that you believe you being in your closet frees you from looking over your shoulder.. As if that’s not when you have to constantly look and ensure that you’re trapped in there.

    I don vex seff.

    • Max 10
      May 29, 08:53 Reply

      Funny enough, if you work in any office in Nigeria, at least 90% of your colleagues already know you’re gay. All the #Ultra-Straight acting persona you put up is nonsense. They know already, so stop stressing yourself too much about conducting yourself around them.

  14. Henrie
    May 29, 08:54 Reply

    Only seven people have visited you out of which you’ve shagged only four. Yet, your neighbors are raising eyebrows. You might as well place a ban on visitations and go full celibate to please these neighbors you’ve chosen to live for. It is okay not to be gay rights activist, but know this: your silence will not protect you. The 14years law in place does not discriminate between the loud and the downlow. When homophobia comes for you, it won’t be asking how much you hate or love yourself for being gay. Neither will it bother how closeted or open you’ve been about your sexuality. You’re not safer than anyone else here.

    • Max 10
      May 29, 09:41 Reply

      “It is okay not to be gay rights activist, but know this: your silence will not protect you. The 14years law in place does not discriminate between the loud and the downlow. When homophobia comes for you, it won’t be asking how much you hate or love yourself for being gay. Neither will it bother how closeted or open you’ve been about your sexuality. You’re not safer than anyone else here.”

      ???

  15. KennedyI
    May 29, 08:56 Reply

    I also think it will go along way if poeple learn to respect oda people’s opinion… Just becos sum1 dosnt think like u dosnt make d person any less dan you…. We r all 4rm different backgrounds with different perspective to life. I just feel we shud make out points without attacking ones person. After all, their is no truth in life….. It is all about perspective!
    Abeg, admin u never answer my question…. And how can one send in writeups?

  16. Kenny
    May 29, 09:23 Reply

    What Peak said, what Mandy said, What Francis said, what Chizzie said!!!
    ? ? ?

  17. Dennis Macaulay
    May 29, 09:31 Reply

    I have about 6 flats in my compound and our interaction doesn’t pass good morning and occasional gra gra that some people display as if they patented parking space.

    I cannot pay rent and still kill myself on top of it, make any assumptions you like but you won’t have the opportunity to ask me stupid questions.

    All this paranoia is not healthy!

    Please enough of the “face me I face you” digs, not everybody can afford a flat or a studio space.

    • Pink Panther
      May 29, 11:00 Reply

      Thank you, DM. I don’t understand how living in Face-me-I-Face-You has now become a crime. In you people’s condescension of this guy’s use of words while choosing a flat mate, slamming him for discriminating against some, remember not to mind the words you use in discriminating against others over economic standing.

      • Max 10
        May 29, 12:27 Reply

        #RmE..

        Perfect case of broken/faulty political correctness.

        So Its ok to shame and discriminate Mugabe for being old and sick in the head, but when some douche bag makes an entire post filled with discriminatory remarks, we’re supposed to let him off the hook?

        Just because face me I face you is involved?

        **rolling eyes from Atakama to Sahara desert and back**

  18. sensei
    May 29, 10:22 Reply

    I think we missed what this guy was saying. First, he expressed his disappointment at the rudeness of the comments. His expectation was that we should be NICER to each other. Please I find no fault with that. Yet we came here and gave him rudeness times ten. Many came to know all they know from reading this blog for years. Some people have not even started this journey, many still have fears (now old and defeated to you) to deal with. We could hold their hand and educate them gently OR gang up and insult them. And what would that achieve? Our leaders of thought on kitodiaries happen to be people never miss an opportunity to insult, shame, mock and shred anyone who is something or does something they don’t agree with. Where will this sort of leadership take us? The writer was simply saying, don’t insult the advert guy and also saying he understood where the other guy is coming from. Absolutely nothing wrong with his position. Doesn’t mean you cannot disagree with him. If you must, do so respectfully. He comes complaining about how we treat each other and we pick him up and slam him on the floor. This right here is testimony to the sort of community we have allowed ourselves to become. From a place where people can learn and grow, it has become an abattoir.

    @chuks bassey: I’m sorry about all this, and I do understand you perfectly.

    • KennedyI
      May 29, 10:31 Reply

      Nice on…. I tot suddenly here was getting too “crazy”.

  19. chuck
    May 29, 10:52 Reply

    Abeg do you think living a quiet life is free? You don’t want to be discriminated against but you want activists to do the work for you. Baboon wanT chop after monkey work.

    IH or not, what does the fact that you want homophobes to accept you really say about your priorities?

    This is why Metuh, Dasuki etc robbed this country blind. The Avengers are destroying the livelihood of several thousand civil servants but pim from most Niger Deltans. No one wants to say uncomfortable truths. After y’all will say cheating on your wife is just a lifestyle choice. Ranka Dede!

    • Pink Panther
      May 29, 11:03 Reply

      And somehow, this opinion teetered from one issue to another.

      • Max 10
        May 29, 12:32 Reply

        All issues are interconnected whether you like it or not and thats the fact that all of you (whoremongers, Mgmists, IH-apologists etc)miss on this blog.

        You think they’re all mutually exclusive and thats where you miss it.

        • Pink Panther
          May 29, 13:01 Reply

          And somehow, you want to claim a moral high ground with comments like this? It’s laughable really. How you don’t see it is beyond me.

      • Chuck
        May 29, 12:35 Reply

        I didn’t teeter – I drew a connection between them. That connection is the inability to confront truth/fact in both cases.

        It’s also notable how often members of KD are implored to be kind to cheaters/closet cases/ homophobes. No homophobia is too egregious.

        • Peak
          May 29, 13:52 Reply

          Egregious you say? Please advice, what separates the “exclusively gay elites” and their dictatorial views from the homophobes and their homogeneous order? Be nicer to cheaters? Closet cases? Do you have receipts to back up ur trumped-up claim? Like receipts showing someone “expletely encouraging cheats? While you are at it, can you shed more light on closet cases ? Are you saying people shouldn’t be allowed the time and space to make the journey towards acceptance however long it takes? Fall out of the closet screaming “I am gay” is that what you are saying? Please i need answers cos I am quite confused and don’t want to be making assumptions. Mind you, before you answer, all this noise is because we are advocating for a much nicer and considerate relations with fellow effeminate bbrothers here. The floor is all urs Mr Chuck.

          • Chuck
            May 29, 14:33 Reply

            1. Here is my receipt:
            http://kitodiaries.com/rantings-of-a-random-gay-nigerian-entry-50/
            That thread is one piece of evidence that KD membership and PP are sensitive to criticism of MGM, including those that cheat.

            2. You ( or someone commenting as Peak) also advocated not dictating to cheaters on how to live their lives, because it brings them pain and sorrow. The evidence is in the link.

            3. Define exclusively gay elites. No idea what that is.

            4. Closet cases are those who turn the fear of being outed into homophobia, and blame other gays for that fear, instead of the intolerant homophobes in society at large.

            As always, glad to inform and share ideas/ rational arguments.

            • Peak
              May 29, 15:42 Reply

              Chuck, I just visited the link you graciously made available. I will crave ur indulgence again. Are you calling ALL MGM cheats? Because all ur link did, is take me to an MGM bashing post where I argued for understanding and consideration. At no point did I blatantly ask for kinder gesture towards “cheats”. Unless you have proof of me blantantly encouraging cheats (actual copy anf paste words with time stamps) you might want to show some decency when next you quote people and not resort to distortion of words.

              • Chuck
                May 29, 16:09 Reply

                Yes, MGMs are married to women and sleeping with men.

                • Chuck
                  May 29, 16:16 Reply

                  And Peak, on May 11th 2016 at 12.27 pm you commented on Dennis’s article that
                  ” how many of the marriages you know, have this (100%) “honesty and sincerity” you speak of?”

                  At 1.31 you said:
                  So I ask, is there such a thing as TOTAL honesty and sincerity in marriage? If you there is none, then I digress.

                  Those were defending MGMs from Delle, who was criticising the dishonesty and insincerity.

                  Next time stand behind your words. Don’t try to distract us by throwing up strawmen and playing victim of distorted words.

                  Anyone who is curious should reread Post 50 of Dennis’s series.

                  • Peak
                    May 29, 16:30 Reply

                    Oh they need not bother sir. I don’t trust shady people to play fair, so I took the liberty of bringing the entire thread of exchange here. The readership of the blog shouldn’t be left to the guidance of ur likes. That why we are where we are in the 1st place.

                    sensei
                    May 11, 2016
                    I am bisexual. The the love of my life is a woman.
                    So in order to avoid being labelled “traitor” and in order to please the LGBT community I should dump the female love of my life and look for her male version.
                    Anything else means I sold out. Interesting.

                    It’s fine. Maybe I will just do this since your happiness as always, is more important than mine. I will live your truth and not mine, since yours is a higher truth.
                    Oh now I know a new type of pressure that pressure you when you want to live your truth. First, LGBT societal pressure. And in intend to conform…fully.

                    Reply

                    Max 10
                    May 11, 2016
                    Finally…. You came out to us… Bravo. Oh and congrats on your journey to pussyville.

                    Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?

                    Reply

                    Francis
                    May 11, 2016
                    Mi amor, this one you’re very vocal today. I hope all is well. Biko enter your shell before dem damage you for me.

                    Reply

                    Khaleesi
                    May 11, 2016
                    Quick question Sensei; this love of your life who is a female, does she know that you are also attracted to males? Would you still be the loves of each other’s lives if she found out? Or did you conveniently keep this from her? #JustAsking

                    Reply

                    You-Know-Who
                    May 11, 2016
                    Khaleesi Somethings are better left unsaid. she doesn’t have to know who am attracted to or not. what is important is that she is happy and i am not two timing on her.
                    #Shikena

                    Reply

                    Max 10
                    May 11, 2016
                    . Gay people would say anything just to cover their ass.

                    Reply

                    Delle
                    May 11, 2016
                    Somethings are better left unsaid?! What happened to honesty and sincerity in marriage? And you honestly, honestly think you’re going to be faithful to her all through marriage cos I don’t see how marriage kills that gay part of you. Smh

                    Reply

                    Peak
                    May 11, 2016
                    @ Delle, how many of the marriages you know, have this (100%) “honesty and sincerity” you speak of?

                    Reply

                    Delle
                    May 11, 2016
                    No human is 100% honest or sincere lest alone marriages, but the minute you take advantage of that fact, there’s a problem. You shouldn’t go into marriage with the mindset that there’s no total honesty or sincerity, nature takes care of its business. Let it.

                    Reply

                    Peak
                    May 11, 2016
                    The 100% part may have sounded like me reaching, until you gave me a footing with “You shouldn’t go into marriage with the mindset that there’s no total honesty or sincerity, nature takes care of its business. Let it.”

                    So I ask, is there such a thing as TOTAL honesty and sincerity in marriage? If you there is none, then I digress.

                    Reply

                    Delle
                    May 11, 2016
                    And that’s a justification for him not telling his wife who and what he is?

                    Reply

                    ambivalentone
                    May 11, 2016
                    Not two-timing is good enough for me…as vague as it sounds, believing that it means you won’t cheat on her with women OR MEN.

                    Reply

                    I still cant find where, when and how I asked for “nicer” gesture towards “cheaters”…Bros Chuck, abeg comhan epp, I stee haffunt see hit.

                    • Chuck
                      May 29, 16:45

                      Thanks for posting the whole thread, you’re much more willing to type than I am.

                      As the thread shows, you’re making an excuse in defense of cheating MGMs by arguing that no one is 100% honest or sincere in marriage. If you do not understand how dishonesty and cheating are sides of the same coin, it’s not today that your eyes will open.

                    • Peak
                      May 29, 17:32

                      Thank you for thinking me .

                      You know how they say ” comprehension is key”? With a WHOLE line of conversion stretched out in front of you, you are still sticking with ur falsified version of events?

                      Well allow me work you through the conversation again.

                      The thread shows a KDian coming forward to formally announce his bisexuality and explaining how he intends to marry the love of his life, who happens to be a woman to the blog. A question was asked if the supposed love of is life, woukd be brought into the know of the gay side of his sexuality.
                      -At no point was the said person married
                      -He is an intending MBM and not one yet. Emphasis on “intending”
                      – At no point was the issue of cheating on his “intended” wife raised. So all that ” being nicer to cheaters” must have happened somewhere in ur head
                      – Subject of honesty was tied to disclosure (his gay/bisexual PAST) not on cheating.

                      In view of these, it quite evident that you either have thing mixed up and lost in ur head or you just have a tendency to pervert evidence, just to make urself feel good about urself.

                      And as for the typing, you need not worry ur pretty head about that. I am happy doing it so long as it helps unmask prophets with perverting fingers on the blog.

                      Do enjoy the rest of ur evening sir.

                    • Santa Diaba
                      May 29, 17:36

                      I’m sorry, but you are mixing things up. Peak was in no way advocating cheating, and IMO and in many other sane ones, < 100% honesty is not equivalent to cheating. Spouses hide non sexual information from each other also, and quite often as well, yet fidelity isn't broken.

    • Peak
      May 29, 16:19 Reply

      And you have it on record where I or anyone, “expletely” asked for nicer treatment of…what did you call them again…”MGMs are married to women and sleeping with men.” ?

      If so, I’d appreciate a copy anf paste with time stamp. And thank you in anticipation of ur concrete response.

      • Chuck
        May 29, 19:35 Reply

        I can’t respond above so I’ll respond here.

        1. Your interpretation of the thread is wrong.
        Khaleesi asks about disclosure. He was not answered. Delle asks about honesty (“and you honestly, honestly think you’re going to be faithful to her all through marriage cos I don’t see how marriage kills that gay part of you. Smh”)
        That is the point at which you jumped in and replied to Delle (the cheating question) with the defence of 100% honesty being impossible. Your reply was addressed specifically to Delle (@ Delle, how many of the marriages you know, have this (100%) “honesty and sincerity” you speak of?)
        I would expect an apology since you’re clearly in the wrong. But you won’t do it, I’m sure.

        You’re the one misrepresenting your earlier position.Your “walk” through the conversation does not represent the issues raised. I won’t respond to the insults you threw. Our arguments speak for themselves.

  20. Drone
    May 29, 11:06 Reply

    Isn’t this the same chuks bass that wrote a story about a “neighbor” who sneaked into his house to suck him off while he slept? ??

    It seems you have nothing to worry about ?

    • Mandy
      May 29, 11:08 Reply

      Lol. You have a good memory. I remember that story too. Seems Bassey’s neighbours are way more intrusive than we thought. lol

    • Chizzie
      May 29, 13:15 Reply

      He clearly doesn’t live under normal circumstances. ?

  21. dabo
    May 29, 11:20 Reply

    that post was disgusting, insulting and condescending to me,I’m effeminate, have no eyes for chicks, i don’t do religion, I’m not a Christian.. i mean,he’s everything i stand against and I’m not,how do you think i felt? and now this ekpuke is coming to say he’s living a quiet life, his neighbours are questioning his life and we should cut d other guy some slack? is it my fault your IH has blinded you and stopped you from living your life even if you’re in the closet? both of you are the reason lgbt rights in Nigeria don’t move forward, cause you’ve already condemned your kind . and there’s nothing wrong with staying in a face me i face you house,not everyone is rich or can afford 400k rent annually. y’all cry so much about being hated on by straight people but you still do same to others in the community. Poverty shaming,no condition is permanent.

    • Kainene
      May 29, 16:09 Reply

      “I’m effeminate, I don’t do religion, I’m not a christian” I need more friends like youuuu! I’m sick of meeting religion in every issue dat should be discussed or handled rationally.

  22. Kamal
    May 29, 12:06 Reply

    I joined this Noble family barely two weeks ago. I v laughed, I v learnt and I love it!… But smthg hurts; The VENOM guys! Its sickening! I know we all coming from different places. All I ask of us is ‘Can we be a lil’ mur not so un-nice in and a bit mur constructive in our criticism?’ Pls?

    • Max 10
      May 29, 12:47 Reply

      Started as subtle shades, now we’re here.

      Back in 2014, things were much better, the shades were much fun to read. These days we all nit-pcik comments to find some bullet to use against one another. Even outside KD bad blood and drama is ported to this place. For instance I know several people who are beefing each other in real life who come here to take it out on one another.

      Friends have been made and broken, the bonds are more or less tight.

      In our collective bid to try and move forward and cultivate “acceptance”, we’ve come to accept ” everything ” which I think is bad.

      KD use to be a beacon of hope, a place to learn and to grow, but these days, I’m filled with disgust, disappointment and contempt for what it has turned into. Now all we do is fight, pull each other’s hair and achieve nothing.

      • Francis
        May 29, 13:02 Reply

        ??????????????????????????????

        Nna eh. Spend your money well oh. Get help.

      • Pink Panther
        May 29, 13:07 Reply

        You don’t have a right to speak this language of an Olivia Pope in a white hat. In many ways, YOU contributed to this. Filled with disgust? Disappointment? Contempt? Look around you, honey. This place is full of people who feel these things for you. You are not some sinless prophet sent to save Nigeria’s LGBT. You are part of the problem. It’s bewildering how you don’t see it. It’s gotten so bad that KDians are now of the impression that Chizzie has gotten better than you.
        On a normal day, I’d overlook your vicious comments. But when you take on this saintliness that seeks to condemn the rest of us, it creates a resentment in me that makes me want to speak.
        Change you. And watch the world around you change. That’s all.

      • Peak
        May 29, 13:17 Reply

        Of course you are perfectly perched on ur cassava throne of ignorance. It’s funny how you always morph into people you have condemned in the past. 1st it was Chizzie, now you have successfully taken up the seat that Teflondon vacated by boisterously enlightening us how well off you and singing the “ass licking” mantra of his, like it’s the key to happiness. Big shoes i must say, never thought anyone could fill them. You sure know how to surprise us all.

        As for ” descended”, don’t even get me started cos you don’t want to know what I have to say about that word.

      • Max 10
        May 29, 15:25 Reply

        @Peak and @PP, your comments made me ??????..

        I thrive by garnering hatred from anywhere I can. I’m not a fan of #BeingLovedByAll. People who are loved by all are loved by all for a reason, they constantly mould themselves to make other people like and appreciate them because their sense of self worth is measured by that.

        People hate hearing the truth and I’ll keep dishing it out whenever I can/want.

        Wake up from your slumber and smell the coffee.

        You guys lost me when you started making excuses for flaming gay men marrying women and also apologizing for internalized homophobia and also promoting mindless frequent casual sex(akwuna 10kobo>>prostitution).

        If you check all my previous comments on KD, it has always been constant, my stand about everything hasn’t changed unlike some people here who can say 10 different things to 10 different microphones placed before him and also be a hoe while looking for fresh off the run way dudes to mingle with.
        So Mr peak milk, get your facts right before coming here to make senseless arguments. That thing wey dey pepper you for body since, I’ve told u to resolve it in your head so you can have peace.. It’s quite unbecoming of you.

        • Santa Diaba
          May 29, 17:45 Reply

          To be quite honest, you, Max10, seem like a very dark angry and venomous person. Whenever there is drama on this blog, you are never far behind. It’s quite unbecoming.

      • Peak
        May 29, 16:11 Reply

        Max what truth do you speak of? Hijacking the IH mantra from Khalessi and made it into the motto of ur movement, only to single handedly expose ur well hidden brand of internalised homophobia by saying Derenle amd Onyx are not eligible gay men fit to represent you (a gay man, hiding in his well padded closet)? I have found myself wondering if it because the are outrightly anf fearlessly effeminate and flamboyant? But then that would put you in a defensive position like Keredim was forced to be in and defend himself. All of which would put ur advocacy for effete guys into question. A closer look would show u are quite effeminate. And we would not just call u into questioning on ur IH alone, but you would also be facing charges of femiphobia. So remind me again, what truth do u speak of my good sir?

        As far as consistency goes, the only thing u ve been consistent with is ur fat and slut shaming. Even the slut shaming is questionable. With all the slut shaming crusade you carry on here, one would think purity is ur middle name, but the streets says otherwise. So lets not go there. You have flipped flopped on the issues of Bisexuality and MGM and cited being “happy, new and better understanding on the subject” as ur turn of new leaf. Only to relapse into ur angry bitter ways a couple of weeks later. So dear sir, if you want to talk about consistency, don’t attach it to ur grey name, cos you have flipped flopped harder than a Ukrainian gymnast gunning for a gold medal at the Olympics.

        FYI, nothing de “pepper” me. You need a reality check. You are not better than anyone here, and definitely not above getting cautioned for ur uncouth anf excessive outrageousness. You can’t talk down on people as you please, like KD is ur personal play ground, where u can show up vomit all over people and waltz away like the queen of a pig farm. That my friend, is what this is about

        • Max 10
          May 29, 17:13 Reply

          You’re quite bitter aren’t you? Rejection really does take its toll doesnt it? Go for therapy so you can heal and put some #Respeck on your name. Whoever said he has seen Max’s pants can come out and say it now, your silly #WordOnThestreet holds no water. I’m quite surprised that you’d descend so low as to make false accusations all in a bid to win some war you’ve been fighting in your head.
          Oh and also you think you’re all hidden and macho? Think again. You didn’t get rid of the hip swaying in your bid to look all street and hip. You failed. I have said it here severally that all gay men are effeminate (in varying percentages) so I wonder why you had to bring it up to buttress your silly argument.

          Go and heal!!!
          Go and receive some respeck
          And Stay out of Max’s case, forget you ever met me as I’ve already done the same.

          If you’re so pissed with the way I’m #FeelingMyself, then look away, or goan hang (honestly, I don’t care.) Your vendata against Max will keep dragging your leg outta the road here if you don’t stop.

          And unlike you, I have nothing to prove to anyone, I’m not a daddy pleaser like you.

        • Keredim
          May 29, 18:10 Reply

          “Defensive position” which YOU put in.

          But its aiiright, please continue, i am enjoying your flow..???

      • Peak
        May 29, 17:46 Reply

        Rejection? LMAO. Don’t play urself dear child. I chose not to call you out for so long time cos I know this is the 1st card you would clinch to in a bid to save face. Like the predictable man you are, you dove straight for it at the slightest discomfort. I am never the one to wash my dirty laundry in public, so I would let the endless receipts you have shamelessly scattered all over the blog speak for itself. So you have my blessing to ride that crest of self importance to the moon and back.

        No one is bitter about and ur toxic ways. Accord people the same respect you want them to accord you. Practice what you preach and demand from the world. Stop being a walking warm bag of hypocrisy while calling others by the name tag you shamelessly wear.

        • Max 10
          May 29, 18:02 Reply

          I don’t demand anything respect from anyone. You cannot demand anything from people who you don’t give a shit about.

          The receipt is scattered on the blog really? So my brief encounter with you has multiplied to “sleeping with KDians” ?
          And you call yourself a truthful person.

          Look, I have a whole lot to say, but I’m afraid we’re heading to the point of no return(where I’m gonna say some unforgivable things), so I’m just going to pretend that I didn’t just read the last balderdash you wrote up there and ignore you.

          Bye.

          • Peak
            May 29, 18:26 Reply

            At no point did I say or imply you sleeping around with KDians, but you are welcome to interpret whatever I have said anyhow you please in that overinflated head of urs. I have enough zero fucks to give in that regard. You have chosen to roll around in mud all because you can’t stand the thought of someone reprimanding you, yet that is what you do here on a daily.
            People might think it wise to avoid you like a plague, unfortunately, I have never been a fan bullies and taking them down is all in a days work for me. So if you think this is personal, then you are either high or sipping that thing that wayne is on
            All that vendetta talk? Really? Like for real? Max grow up. It would do you a world of good.

            Daddy pleaser? *sigh* How shallow, petty and childish can you get beyond that? Don’t speak about point of no return when you don’t have the slightest clue of what it truly means. If hauling things that was said and discussed with you in confidance at the slightest discomfort, all in the name of scoring some cheap internet points, then maybe its time you re-evaluate who you really are and how you affect people in the now and the future.

            • Max 10
              May 29, 18:54 Reply

              I don’t actually need anyone new in my life, the ones I have are already enough for me. You can ask PP about my refusal to meet people (so people are welcome to avoid me), #LessDrama.

              And about scoring cheap points- read ur entire reply to me and you’ll see who the score counter is.

              And also I’m not like you- who sit with uncouth people sharing cheap gossip and spreading lie about the entire gaybourhood.

              Again (since you believe in- the older you get, the wiser), have some Respeck for yourself.
              I’m not a bully, I’m just intolerant of people who are deeply rooted in self-loathing, or people who support gay men marrying women and also people whose body is a biological eptiome of shoprite (cheap and for everyone).

              You’re welcome to try and stop me, you’re going to fail woefully.

    • Max 10
      May 29, 15:25 Reply

      Wipe the dirty poo off your fugly face.. ??

      • The Vhar-gency.
        May 29, 16:33 Reply

        You, Max.. are one to call us fugly? You again, are one to slut shame? After sleeping with KDians? And blowing another? And then boasting about your jaw exercise?

        You fat-shame, yet you’re friends with fat people?

        LOL! weLaugh.

        You better take care with the words you speak/type, it’s best to keep them sweet… because you never know when you might have to eat them!

        • posh6666
          May 29, 16:47 Reply

          Vhar stop it! Seriously classy Max slept with a kdian?hahahahahhahaahah and I thot I was a hoe…

        • ambivalentone
          May 29, 17:09 Reply

          Wait o! I thot at the inception of this…support group, Max was of the square-jawed beauty fame??? At which point did he become ugly? Does ‘fat ppl need to get off their fat arses and work their butts off’ translate to mean “I hate fat ppl and can NEVER have a fat friend”? Though this tea on blowing off another KDian is one I have never heard b4 o. Pray, tell

        • Max 10
          May 29, 17:20 Reply

          @Vhar-gency, in case you don’t know, I sleep with a KDian on a weekly basis.. Yes I’ve been dating one for a long time noe, so the information you got is right, but distorted. I have fat friends too Yes!!.

          You have homophobes as friends and family too right? But you come here daily to decry homophobia.

          Receive some brain and choose a different monicker, the person you’re licking his ass has already told you he doesn’t like that kind of rough play, so #Respeck yourself and quit.

          All these jobless Shildren will not allow someone rest.

          • The Vhar-gency.
            May 29, 17:49 Reply

            LOL! Jobless you say? Because you have some job?

            Honey, You’re starting to sound like one of those songs that DJs play when they wanna clear out the dance floor. Just come sit with us. there’s an empty seat next to us in the ‘intensely aggravating’ section… and it’s got your name on it. You “Job-full” man.

            • Max 10
              May 29, 17:54 Reply

              Its clear you’re just a silly sick hater.

              Piss off.

  23. KennedyI
    May 29, 13:15 Reply

    This kind Max self…. D high spector himself…. Abeg, open ya own assembly and gather ya fellow non-sinners…. Na u b d main problem 4 this blog incase u 4got!

    • Max 10
      May 29, 15:26 Reply

      And I guess you’re the solution, wonder why I’m yet to see it.

      • KennedyI
        May 29, 15:49 Reply

        Am no solution man…. Just wondering 4rm ur tone y u left d right hand of d gods to come and interact with d sons of men…. Bt den, mayb u were also to perfect to exist among dem.
        Just respect people’s opinion… Dats how to live simple!

  24. Chuck
    May 29, 13:22 Reply

    Wait, this guy got raped by his neighbor? O di egwu

  25. Dennis Macaulay
    May 29, 13:45 Reply

    I will always say, its very funny how Max does not realize he represents everything he thinks he stands against. He is prejudice and discrimination personified.

    I said to you the other day that you have created the gay republic and appointed yourself its attorney general; you therefore decide the rules of citizenship and wrote the constitution for the people. Anybody that dares act differently from your code of conduct is branded different names and read his rights.

    I thank god that Max is not straight, if not he will be a psychopath who kills gay people as he will not be able to wrap his head around how people can be attracted to the same gender.

    Heck he has even threatened to kill other gay people here because they disagree with him, so need I say more?

    Before you ride in and play saint, remember you are the epitome of everything you just outlined and that is wrong with this community

    • Max 10
      May 29, 15:29 Reply

      Mr Hydra(7 heads and mouth), I hail oh.

      Weh done!

  26. ambivalentone
    May 29, 15:45 Reply

    Frankly, I find it amusing a sensible person would go about thinking a femme’s life’s purpose is to out his gay comrades by association. Being one myself, I can only laugh at the absurdity of it all. But it is obvious that quite a lot of ppl are senseless, from senseless lists drafted by senseless IH-ridden ppl to the senseless supporters backing them. Both gay and straight. But hey, it is their preference. But just as someone has pointed out already, the day u r fucking that ultra-straight acting dude is d day yawa gases more often than not. The nosy ‘neighbour’ parkers in patnership with the mob forgets that the fucker and fuckee were super straight-acting and all that matters is one’s prick found its abominable prick into another’s bum. I don’t even know why I am commenting sef. Dii Okpara already has his flat-mate.

  27. posh6666
    May 29, 16:34 Reply

    Who needs the real housewives franchise when there is kd lool..Have had a really good laugh today sha which is helping me out of my illness I mean after mistakenly overdosing on a medication and being weak as hell all I needed was drama to bring me out of the funk.

    Ermm so I guess its official Max 0.1 is the new most hated in house bitch and has been read for filth and called every name on earth but a child of God on this cloudy sunday.

    • Keredim
      May 29, 18:07 Reply

      Dude, you know better than to mention that you “mistakenly overdosed ” on here. Even if its a joke.

      Before the end of the week, it will mean you tried to “top yourself” on KD.

      And by weekend, they will say you couldn’t even do it properly….??????

      • posh6666
        May 29, 18:30 Reply

        Tnx for your care but me saying I overdosed was as a result of a wrong prescription given to me by some careless person who I thought was qualified pharmacist in a pharmacy only to eventually discover that I was taking the wrong dosage…Nigeria for you where anything goes.

        Tho we eventually went there with some officers just to check the real owner of the pharmacy and caution him about the kind of overzealous persons he employs.

        Am too strong to even ever contemplate deliberately trying to harm myself.I didnt do that when I was much younger and fragile talk more of now that am all grown and gone thru the worst.

        • KennedyI
          May 29, 20:04 Reply

          Thats wat you get wen u go to a drug store rather than a hospital…. It is nt d fault of Nigeria.

        • Keredim
          May 29, 20:26 Reply

          Well I am happy you cleared that up and happier you are a stronger person.

          I had to say something or else the moralistas perched on (daddy’s) white horse will embelish your story and it will become something else.

          Look at me. Jejely minding my own business, with my healthy sex life, i became a slut in 2 days. Before i could say “please pass me the lube” I became an international harlot.

          As if its my fault they look (and feel) like ice -cold panla?!??

          Anyway, My God is good… Like they said, business is lucrative.??????

          • posh6666
            May 29, 20:34 Reply

            Lool atleast some of us dont deny being hoes.Imagine some major tea that has just been spilled about Max sleeping with various members of Kd while all the while sitting on his throne all in white judging every and anybody.

            So quick to call everyone a slut yet the bitch bussy mileage be working on overtime from various random kdian hookups…Tufia! Max you are a shameless hypocrite a real S.O.B like you fondly call people.

  28. ambivalentone
    May 29, 20:05 Reply

    So Max and Peak met at some point in KD history and things ended in disaster #TakingNotes

      • ambivalentone
        May 29, 20:21 Reply

        Nma, we shud av these kinda arguments more o. Until someone will reveal where they hide their life’s savings and KD seems to be right on that path. I have bin having Fresher and Refresher courses on details since comment 1. Chai!!! KDians, una memory looooooong die.

    • posh6666
      May 29, 20:44 Reply

      Hahahahaha well I guess the sex was horrible judging from all that has happened today.

      • ambivalentone
        May 29, 21:08 Reply

        Abi. I am seriously playing out the short cummings in my mind. Perhaps it was an inability to get up to standards…or there was no show and someone was very disgruntled. #sigh Speculations, speculations.

  29. Mike Daemon
    May 29, 20:21 Reply

    This is serious here. So many problems, I wonder where we are headed, I am so worried for the future.

    • Truth
      May 29, 21:05 Reply

      More shameful than getting married to a woman who is unaware of your sexual proclivities?

      • sensei
        May 30, 07:49 Reply

        Don’t say what you don’t know, sir.

  30. Chizzie
    May 29, 21:52 Reply

    Alright so the comments were really entertaining and every one played their parts very well.

    Alright so exit stage left, we continue tomorrow. No hard feelings

  31. bryannnn
    May 29, 22:13 Reply

    I rarely comment here, I thought I was dramatic, getting here made me nothing less than a junior apprentice, in the drama queen’s industry…..You all should inhale more of oxygen and exhale bitterness, grief, scorn and the likes….

  32. Khaleesi
    May 29, 22:57 Reply

    Chaiiiii, pple of KD, I am entertained oooo, life would be so empty without KD …

  33. KingBey
    May 30, 07:11 Reply

    #DayMade. Make more breeze blow make we see more fowl nyash. ?????

  34. Terra
    May 30, 10:51 Reply

    Holy crap. Equal parts entertaining, enlightening and terrifying.

  35. Mr. Fingers
    May 30, 11:45 Reply

    How can u people say u find this mess entertaining? Geez.

    It was shameful and wish we all move on. Things like these shouldn’t be fun to minorities. The who struggle for LGBT rights is anchored on the principle of live and let live.

    Let us learn to tolerate our differences as a community.

    Enough said.

  36. Brian Collins
    May 31, 18:45 Reply

    Kai, where was I when all of this was going on. All the deliciously brewed tea spilled and I wasnt here to lap it up while it was hot.
    ION: Chuck goan sidon

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