6 Signs He’s Not Looking for Anything Serious
It’s tough breaking things off with someone. In fact, it’s so tough that most guys have absolutely no idea how to do it. Instead of being upfront, they “fade out.” He’ll take a long time to respond to texts, until finally, he’ll just stop responding. Or he’ll say he’s always busy. Or something else entirely.
There’s a bunch of non-direct ways to slowly ghost someone or to indirectly state, “I’m not looking for something as serious as you are right now.” Sometimes though, it’s difficult to tell if he’s actually busy or trying to slow down the pace of the relationship.
So here are some ways to tell that he’s not on the same page as you are regarding commitment.
1. He never initiates the “I miss you” or “I really like you”
It’s really, really difficult to not reciprocate when someone says they really like you. So, the vast majority of the time, if you say something to his face, like “I really like you,” he’s just going to say it back. You put him in this precarious position where the only way to be truthful if he doesn’t like you is to be blatant and hurtful in his response. So, odds are, he’s just going to say it, even if he doesn’t mean it.
So, a way to see if he really likes you, and in more than a casual way, is to see if after you say it once, he then says it some other time, without being prompted. If you’re always the first one saying how much you miss him, like him, and love spending time with him, that isn’t a great sign. Both you and he should be saying it.
2. He’s not initiating the hangout sessions
Just like reason one, this reason also has to do with who is initiating. If he’s never trying to hang out or invite you out to places, then he’s not looking for something more serious. Usually, it’s relatively split between who sends out the hangout invitation.
3. He’s not introducing you to his friends
When you like someone, and you think it may lead somewhere serious, you introduce the new guy you have a crush on to your friends. Everyone does this. Everyone wants to know what their friends think of the new guy they just started dating. So, if he’s not doing this, it’s a big red flag.
4. He only gives you booty calls
So, if the one time he does initiate something is at 7 PM on Friday night, especially after a week of rejecting your invites out because he was “too busy,” then it’s clear what he wants from you, and where you two stand.
5. You’re not hanging out in public
Do all of your dates consist of staying in bed, having sex, and watching TV? Then that’s probably all he’s looking for. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with this, but just make sure that you’re on the same page as he is. Because odds are, he doesn’t want a more serious relationship.
6. There’s no planning ahead
You: “Let’s plan a beach day next week! It’s supposed to be nice out then.”
Him: “I’ll have to wait and see what my schedule is next week, but that could be fun!”
That would be a nice example of polite deflecting. In fact, you may take this as positive affirmation that he wants to go, but that’s not what what’s happening. He didn’t commit with a yes. He simply said it will be fun, and he’ll have to “look at his schedule.” Now he may just be busy, but if he doesn’t get back to you with dates to hangout, and you have to keep reminding him, then it’s clear he doesn’t want to plan that far ahead with you.
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10 Comments
realme
February 05, 08:32o.m.g
this is helpful…
wahoo
Dimkpa
February 05, 10:25One question, does this scenario apply to Nigeria as well?
To be honest, I think the first point borders on emotional blackmail and manipulation. It is not right to force someone to say something he doesn’t want to. Reading this article gives me the impreasion that the writer is the head in the clouds, romantic, lalala type of person. They usually sabotage their own relationships hounding their partners to live up to their romantic ideals. This becomes tiresome and leads to the end of the relationship.
Notice how the expectations is that you police and monitor the actions of your partner rather than valuing the time you do spend together. Issues in relationships are better resolved by having difficult conversations rather than playing detective.
Keredim
February 05, 10:50In short you mean the writer sounds “needy”.
To add to your point, the article doesn’t take into consideration that the partner may not be good at communicating his feelings or could be laid back when it comes to relationships.
Pink Panther
February 05, 13:59No matter how bad a person is with communication or how laid-back he is in relationships, if he’s into the person he’s with, he would find a way to show it. That’s the ultimate point of the article: that if you’re with someone who’s into you or is into committing with you, you wouldn’t have to guess at his intentions. He’d let you know one way or another.
Justme
February 06, 03:27Spot on PP??
Canis VY Majoris
February 05, 11:50Oh don’t be fooled, Number 1 usually comes with Number 4.
Stay woke!.
Black Dynasty
February 05, 11:59I agree with most of the article.
When someone likes you and wants to be with you, they will show you. They will make an effort with you and will make time for you (vs only when they have free time).
Some men are terrible with communication but actions are always telling. If the actions don’t match up with the words, don’t waste your time… no matter how much you like the person. Some things can’t be forced.
An addition
7. “I like you too” or “I love you too” does not mean I want to be with you.
Jinchuriki
February 06, 08:33Number 5……
am not a public person at all, but I get the point of this piece.
D.
February 06, 20:18Pink Panther… you need to pay for sharing our trade secrets.. chai… I can see myself in these but it’s with the best of intentions… not cos I don’t take him seriously… I’m just not a people person…
Wishes
February 07, 09:11Quite truthful points…