I Saw A Nigerian Man
I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. I knew he was Nigerian and a Yoruba man because he pronounced ‘eat’ as ‘heat’ and ‘walk’ as ‘work’. Just the way I speak. His body stretched out of a trunk of pure muscles rooted in black power. When he walked, he carried himself with measured chaos, as though he was holding a basketball between his thighs.
I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. Though I never spoke to him, I eavesdropped on his phone call and heard him call someone “my baby girl”.
“Baby girl,” he said, “tell Junior daddy loves him. I’m still at the office, and I doubt I will come home tonight.”
When he got off the call, his brows broke out a sweat as he balanced his shoulders under the squat bar. He scanned me with his large brown eyes; I clutched a dumbbell with a fist of disbelief and awe.
I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. He tied a white towel around his tapered waist as he shuffled around in the locker room, looking for something. I looked around and there was only one other person at the gym. The other person smiled and walked away from the Nigerian man and me.
I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. He was biting his nails as he approached the shower. When he turned and saw me looking at him, he widened his eyes, straightened his lips and stared at me longer than I could bear.
I saw a Nigerian man at my fitness center tonight. He lingered on in the shower stall and scrubbed his body endlessly. By 11:25 PM, I dried my body, poured some cocoa butter on my skin, laced my Adidas and walked away as fast as I could.
I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. And I couldn’t walk away from him. On my way out, the detective in me took over my dark soul and ordered me to go back. I climbed back up the stairs and tiptoed to the shower, holding my breath.
I saw a married Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. He was kneeling in the shower stall, sucking another man’s dick.
If you are his baby girl, quit trying to change him into a man you want him to be. This man has taken a knee, and the game is over.
I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. Lord, I’m on my knees right now praying that he has the courage to tell his baby girl what keeps him back at work this late. I pray, dear Lord, that he quits filling his emptiness with sex and that he embraces who he is because I used to be that guy who told my wife I was working late tonight.
Written by Kenny Brandmuse
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60 Comments
Ken George
November 19, 06:50Nice piece
This is a story of men on the downlow. While keeping secrets from your significant other is bad for a relationship, i dare say coming out and flashing your truth is not always as its craped up to be. This is bcos coming out can lead to disastrous consequences. Not everybody is rich or as connected as mr brandmuse to relocate out of the country when the heat gets too much. For most, living on the dl is their reality and nothing more.
Pink Panther
November 19, 06:56Well, this is oddly compassionate. Lol. Didn’t expect to see this from you, Ken.
Gad
November 19, 07:36And now that you have seen an expression of view from him that differs from what you expect,better accept the reality that as our faces differs ,so are our views,perspectives and situations.
Gad
November 19, 07:54One day,very soon,the real reason why this man got married and later abandoned the marriage will be out. This outdated excuse of “owning ones truth and embracing who you are” will never fly with me. Men are treacherous in nature and are always quick to cook up excuses to cover their betrayal but no matter what we do or say or how much we deceive the public, the truth remains the truth.
Conscience is like a bag,every man carries his own and the weight on each man depends on the amount of of load on the conscience
Wonda Buoy
November 19, 17:21I think it’s time for that palm wine. Welcome back.
Black Dynasty
November 19, 08:13I definitely understand societal pressures and wanting to meet expectations but if you can’t remain faithful in a rship be you gay, bi, straight etc, don’t enter into one.
Nothing is hidden under the sun forever, marrying to cover your tracks is a ticking time bomb that cannot be defused. Worse still, you’d have involved a woman, her family, their friends and even more people into the aftermath of the eventual explosion.
Omiete
November 20, 00:10Ah swear!!!! Why can’t gay men understand that they are hurting the woman not because of their sexuality but beacause when it gets out you’re simply telling her that her whole life is a lie and you never really loved her. It’s better we all just stay single
Gad
November 20, 05:23Now that you have addressed the issue of gay men,can you address bisexuals or are you one of the omniscients who tell bisexuals that they don’t exist?
Delle
November 19, 09:06There’s nothing more gratifying than owning one’s truth.
pete
November 19, 13:03Yes and we don’t get to determine what’s another’s truth.
Delle
November 19, 13:06No one’s determining nothing. Not when that’s a glaring situation. A married gay man is living a lie, pure and simple!
pete
November 19, 13:22So, if the man above didn’t marry & have his child(ren) and is living the quintessential gay life (having multiple partners and/or short-lived relationships; statistics bear this out before you come for me), it’ll be his truth as you want it. Read up depression and suicide rate among LGBT people and tell me again your version of truth.
Delle
November 19, 17:17You know what, Pete? You baffle me. Whenever you want to argue on this subject in particular, you lose all sense of rationality.
So the quintessential gay life is that which you bracketed? (making it seem like some kind of culture – lifestyle, if I dare). Sigh.
Listen, people suffer depression not when they hide from their truth but when they try to face their truth. Are you telling me that gay men get married to women in this society so as not to fall victims of depression? Or suicide? Cos that won’t make sense.
Your analogy was as wrong as it was unnecessary. We all know people in this community are the major sufferers of depression and a large amount fall victim to suicide, but Heterosexual Marriage is neither a cause nor a solution. One could very well decide not to get married at all. People do it. It’s still being done.
What then is your point?
Manach
November 20, 14:41“So the quintessential gay life is that which you bracketed? (making it seem like some kind of culture – lifestyle, if I dare).”
He’s right,and you know it.
I mean,look at you!
You’re a living,breathing example of what he enunciated
Delle
November 21, 08:54You must be well on your way to self-destruction. I don’t know who you are, apparently you’ve been stalking me, but seeing as life has already dealt you a big blow, I wouldn’t want to add to your misery.
You would never matter. Take your attention-seeking, scrawny self out of my thread.
Manach
November 21, 09:21You don’t know who I am,yet went ahead to type all that rubbish about me.
Shouldn’t you be taking your own advice about going over your comment before hitting the publish button?.
We know you’re too dense for ought,but once in a while show us some things get through.
That’s not too much to hope for from you now,is it?
Delle
November 21, 11:20Oh just shut your traphole up and quit obsessing. For once, engage yourself in things that do not have me as its focal point.
Creep.
Malik
November 19, 10:55Taking a minute to appreciate this piece of beautifully orgasmic poetic prose.
pete
November 19, 13:00Sigh! Story was going well until Mr Brandmuse decided to offer his personal opinion at the end.
Delle
November 19, 13:04Because it doesn’t go down well with you? Some people do not know how to live a lie all their lives. How you can handle such toxicity beats me.
pete
November 19, 13:10I couldn’t care a jot what people think of my life. If you are yet realise that people can be different from what you expect them to be, I don’t know what else to say. Call him out on the cheating and don’t expect him to be unmarried to be authentically gay.
Delle
November 19, 17:09Authentically gay? Whatever do you mean by this? I’m not even going to deal with this shallowness right now.
But if as a gay man, totally attracted to the same sex, you go to wed some unsuspecting woman all because you want please a few (who may or may not be relevant), you are an asshole. A lying, deceitful one.
Maybe you could extricate yourself from that web though by being truthful to her. Maybe, just maybe, you would be one with a difference. Until then, don’t come to tell me about variations of truth.
There are no different shades of truth. That’s just you clinging so hard to what’s left of your integrity.
pete
November 19, 19:03You weren’t going to deal with my shallowness but ended up doing so. Wedding unsuspecting woman is not only about pleasing people. Sometimes, it’s what the man wants.
Delle, I’m married and very happy. My wife is aware of my sexuality (I felt I owe it to her) and I haven’t acted on my feelings for any other person mainly cos I respect my wife and the vows I took mean something to me.
This reminds me of Chimamanda in her dangers of a single story TEDx talk saying she started imagining horrible things her parents did to her cos people assume authors must have had a terrible childhood.
So Delle, I don’t need to do anything you want to make you see diversity in people’s ways of handling issues. I would’ve asked if you’re out to your family but no, I understand choices and won’t hold it against you.
Delle
November 19, 20:14I seriously do not understand why this argument is being protracted seeing as you are BISEXUAL and as such can afford love for your wife. I’m talking gay men here.
That said, my being out or not to my family is quite different. YOU DON’T CHOOSE FAMILY.
If I’m out to my family, it’s me damning consequences (which may end up being grave or not). Consequences I can’t run away from.
For a man, a gay man with heterosexual marriage in mind, he can decide to get that woman who would accept him for who he is (seeing as marriage is his crown of achievement) so as not to live a lie filled with deceit, fear and lies.
And as for your being married and not cheating on your wife (yet), onye ka-anyi ga-aju? ????
pete
November 19, 20:45Like I need your virtual validation. And you’re sure no gay man can ever love a woman?
Delle, if you’re insisting gay men tell their intending spouse of their orientation, can I also insist you come out to your parents so that they can know the real you? And don’t try and hide behind not choosing them. You’re not living that truth you so much spew.
Delle
November 20, 08:35Please answer this question, Mr Pete, how can you be GAY and love a woman? And we aren’t talking best friend or platonic true love here, we are talking deep love that encompasses all.
If that’s possible, why is there such a thing as homosexuality?
Sigh.
pete
November 20, 09:39A gay man loving a woman won’t crumble your homosexual world. Your experience as a gay is not the template for everyone.
Delle
November 20, 10:15Do you at all read what you type before clicking on the “reply” icon? I’m done with you please.
pete
November 20, 10:38I do. There are no one authentic way of validating your sexuality. I sincerely hope you’re done.
himbo
November 19, 14:34Awkward writing.
Bloom
November 19, 17:10Beautiful write up
Foxydevil
November 19, 23:05Fake story.
Don’t ask me how but I can always tell.
Gad
November 20, 05:35Pete, you have actually said it all but the problem with some of us is the refusal to accept the truth simply because we want to win an argument no matter how myopic,narrow and illogical our points are.
Delle
November 20, 08:32You made absolutely no sense and it’s appalling that at your age, your brain seems to be lagging. You just come in and pronounce judgement like you are some beacon of intelligence. Pffts!
Not like I’m surprised. You would always want to defend that which you stand for, no matter how disgusting.
pete
November 20, 09:44Throw in an ageist comment if discussion ain’t going the way you want it.
Delle
November 20, 10:13But of course. Who else would have his back if not you?
pete
November 20, 10:25I don’t back people but opinions. You don’t want to see there’s a bigger world beyond yours.
Manach
November 20, 14:50He’s just dense,is all.
Stop bothering,nothing you say will sink in.
Its all about his perspective and nothing more.
Gad
November 21, 06:52You are quite right but most of the arguments you see here are not necessarily aimed at winning an argument. Its to put things in proper perspectives for the good of those who are struggling with one life,s question or the other. I’m sure that’s one of the aims of this site.
Delle
November 21, 08:56I’m sure your wife didn’t know the viral disease she was going down the aisle with before saying “I do” to you.
Such a sad thing.
pete
November 21, 09:31You realise you’re veering towards personal attacks in making your submissions.
Delle
November 21, 11:17I wasn’t referring to you. That was for Mr Menace
pete
November 21, 12:32I know it wasn’t for me. It’s still not cool to use personal attacks during discussions.
Delle
November 21, 18:30You should tell that to the intrusive Pitbull, Pete.
pete
November 21, 20:49Still doing same thing. Name calling during a discourse is low. Check our earlier exchanges, you called me shallow and attacked me personally. I overlooked it to focus on the subject at hand. You can learn it. Clapping back is not always cool.
Manach
November 21, 14:38It’s Manach,Dense.
Manach.
Not that I expect that to get through your thick skull.
Oh,I’m not married so your attack’s just water of a duck’s back
Delle
November 21, 18:29Manach? That doesn’t even make any sense (not that it surprises me). Reason I was generous enough to give you a name, one with meaning and that definitely qualifies your stupid self.
You should be glad, Mr Menace. You should be.
Oh and who cares if you are married or not? Good a thing you aren’t. I’m beginning to wonder how you even cope with yourself not to talk of having someone else have to deal with a liability such as you.
Manach
November 21, 20:40Haha haha
Stop making such a fool of yourself, as you’ve done so far in this thread,Dense.
It’s really not a pretty sight watching the wreckage that’s been your commentary so far.
Manach means monk in someone else’s language.
Seeing as your sojourn in UNN has been such a waste,you should sue them and get fees you paid back.I’m willing to represent you pro bono
Delle
November 22, 10:13Lol. Oh hey Bryce with the face of roughly chewed paper!
I should have known it was you all the while what with that singular vocabulary you throw about (shows just how much you relate to the word). That said, I’m done with you. Quit being obsessed cos only when you get a total plastic surgery and better brains would I even consider making your acquaintance. Two-timing rhino.
Bryce
November 22, 16:26Excuse me Delle,were you referring to my Bryce or another?.
What’s my business with your back-and-forth with some people here?.Please,watch it.
I’ll pretend I didn’t see the rest of the nonsense you posted.
Once again, don’t involve me/my pseudo in whatever spat you’re involved in with others here.You wouldn’t like how I react should you do so again.
Delle
November 22, 20:02You know what, Just shut up! I’m done with your toxic self.
as-I-am
November 20, 21:04There’s no bigger fuck of any fuck beyond any fuck abeg… mtscheww……
Gad
November 21, 06:47I would have felt ashamed if a myopic fool like you had found sense in my words. Its only foolish fools that have the one story narrative. Chimamanda has already prophesied about your likes years back.
Research has shown over the years that empty heads have one thing in common. They usually resort to attacks on persons leaving the issues to be addressed.
The fact that as a gay man you have no deep feelings towards women doesn’t mean all gays must feel same. Thinking so is the height of folly. Check your dictionary for the word,”bisexual “.
I noticed your idiotic reference to my age. I wonder why it irks you because I know your Dad was once my age and if you ascribe your ways unto wisdom,God will also bless you with my age and more.
That doesn’t mean that I’m not aware that some fools dread aging. Well, if you fall into that category, may God be gracious unto you by not allowing you to get old
Foxydevil
November 22, 17:15Damn!
This was deep!
(opens popcorn )
quinn
November 20, 23:35BTW Kenny you’re a Hero! If it’s really you. This is really nice.
Baddest
November 22, 01:20Well thank God that I can never have anything to do with anyone like delle,sound so toxic be sad, maybe he is still a kid that is yet to enjoy life. Stop replying this kid,he enjoys the attention
Delle
November 22, 10:11So many attention seeking mongrels on this blog. Have you met your pseudonym? Why on earth would I want to have anything to do with such a confused being?
You’re a waste of bandwidth. It’s PP I feel for after all. Sigh.
Gad
November 22, 13:50Seconded
Foxydevil
November 22, 17:25??????
Foxydevil
November 22, 18:02Sexuality is very complex.
Trying to summarize the basis of everyone else’s sexuality based on your very limited individual experience is wrong.
Enlighten your self with Stephen king’s “the body ”
Two straight boys fell in love after some tragic experience bonded them.
Even in the popular TV show, Empire, Jamal started developing feelings for Alicia Keys at some point.
A gay man is very capable of loving a woman deeply and desiring her sexually. It doesn’t make him less gay, neither does it make him bisexual. It’s just the complexity of sexuality.
Pete as long as your wife knows and she is OK with it, no one has any right to make you feel bad about your life’s decision. And I’m glad you’re not letting it bother you.
Pink panther ,mr upright, what do you have to say about this ?
You charged into my inbox like a bull about to be slaughtered by a matador, laying down all kinds of threats simply because I did a little psych reading on characters I’ve never even met.
But here is someone throwing jabs at people, using his knowledge about their personal lives to ugly shame and age shame them , yet you do nothing, simply because he is your friend.
Even Mugabe wouldn’t be so subjective.
?.
Oh wait!
This one doesn’t involve you, so I’m guessing you’ll sit this one out.
You only become a lion when it involves you.