FINE BOYS COME WITH A LOT OF BAGGAGE
Let me tell you about Mo.
Mo is that kind of guy you walk past and can’t help but look back so you can check him out some more. This isn’t because he is overly gorgeous. He is. Gorgeous, I mean. It’s just…there’s something about him that begs to be looked at during a double take, just so you are sure you saw what you saw. He has an appeal about him that is undeniable.
When we got acquainted, Mo was about 20 years old. Average height, light-skinned and very handsome. I think he is Igbo, although I’d never confirmed that. He understands and speaks the language but his last name isn’t Igbo.
The story of Mo and I began on one horny afternoon a few years ago. I was scrolling through instagram, looking for something fine and tasty to feast my eyes on. Don’t judge. It was the middle of summer and I was bored at home; the British weather wasn’t making things easy either.
I basically went through the profiles of all my gay friends, searching for a distraction. I didn’t find any worth my time. I was about to give up when I saw a picture to which a friend had tagged Mo. I clicked over to his profile to check him out. As I skimmed through his photos, I could see he was really cute, what with the way he posed with some swagger, even though the choice of selfie faces he made was very questionable – one of those cheesy “I know I am fine, so I will squint my eyes to make me look finer” expressions. Not cute at all.
But he was cute.
And my gaydar was buzzing, letting me know I had just spotted a brother.
His number was on his profile, so of course, I hit the call button. I don’t like to waste time in matters of thirst. However, once the phone started ringing, I began to have mixed feelings about what I was doing. I was thinking: So, he picks, then what? What would I say? Who do I say I am? What reason would I give for calling him?
Before I could arrive at a conclusion to the conversation raging in my head, he answered the call.
And I was like, hey.
He was like, good afternoon, who’s this. He had a soft baritone for a voice.
I was like, Oh I am Rai, a friend of a friend of Alex who is your friend.
Whether my introduction made sense to him or not, he didn’t let on. He simply asked why I was calling him.
I said I thought he was cute, that I’d just been going through his profile on instagram and I decided to say hi.
And he was like, oh ok, I should chat him up on WhatsApp.
I will not bore you with the subsequent chatversations we had, but we were having a nice time getting to know each other. And then, things got personal and he was telling me about his boyfriend, a 35-year-old man he was living with in Lagos. Apparently, the man was abusive, constantly maltreating him and had basically diminished him to the role of houseboy and sex slave in his house. According to him, it was no longer the relationship the man promised him when he made him leave Port Harcourt, where he was staying with his family, to relocate to his house in Lagos. He was now basically there to service the man’s needs.
I felt bad for him when he told me these stories. I said what I could to comfort him. Even suggested that he leave the man and return to his home in PH. That he was too young to be enduring this kind of hardship. He said he couldn’t because his mother was aware that he was staying with the man, even though she wasn’t aware of the exact nature of their relationship. That she simply figured the man was her son’s benefactor, who was creating a better life for him in Lagos. Besides, the man was in frequent touch with his mother, often calling her to complain about how her son was lazy and disrespectful. After which she would call him to reprimand him harshly on what she felt was his ingratitude to the man who was helping him.
At this point, my relationship with Mo was no longer with any sexual intent, at least on my part. I simply regarded him as a friend. A friend whose awful situation I wanted him out of. Plus, I’d started to develop a massive crush on his best friend, Steven, who was an upcoming artiste – or maybe he had already arrived, I don’t know. But yeah, Steven was nice. I got to know him through Mo.
So, the day came when I was busy, and when I eventually got around to checking my phone, it was to see that Mo had been ringing me nonstop. There were several missed calls from him and several messages on WhatsApp saying he was in trouble. I immediately called him, thinking the worst had happened. Maybe he had finally killed that sonofabitch.
When I got through to him, he said his boyfriend had kicked him out of his house and that he was on the street with all his things inside a trash bag. I was furious. What sort of man was this, who would lure this young man to a faraway city, abuse him so completely, and then throw him out when he was done with him, especially in a place like Lagos? I told him to call his mother. He said he already did and that she’d been on the phone, begging the man to take him back. Her efforts so far were proving futile. I told him to head over to his best friend, Steven’s house. But he said Steven lived far away and didn’t even live alone, and he didn’t want to inconvenience him. I was irritated by this. Steven was his best friend, for chrissakes! He was stranded and should be able to outrightly count on his bestie to have his back without worrying about inconveniences.
I was shaking with anger and frustration at the entire situation. If I was in Nigeria, I wouldn’t have thought twice about asking him over to mine. I told him I would get back to him. And then, I started calling my friends who live in Lagos; even though I knew it would be a stretch to expect any of them to simply take in someone they didn’t know simply because I was asking, I was hoping I could convince someone to shelter Mo, even if it was for a few days. I kept getting negative responses, until I talked to a family friend, my best friend’s mother. I called her and told her my cousin had just been kicked out of the place he was staying. She and her family live in a very opulent place in VGC, and I was hoping she would let Mo stay in their guesthouse for some time. She told me she was out of town, but I should tell my “cousin” to head to their house and that she would leave instructions with the security to let him in and show him to the accommodations.
I relayed this good news to Mo, but he said he didn’t have any money to go there. Turns out though, he’d made a headway himself. He said he was waiting on a friend who had offered to come and pick him up to stay at his place. I told him that was fine and that I would send him some money that evening or the next day. The next day, I sent him a 100 pounds. He expressed his gratitude and it seemed he had found his footing and was doing okay. Weeks passed and we were still chatting and all that.
However, Mo seemed to think I was now a replacement for his former benefactor. He began plaguing me with requests for my assistance regarding his intent to go to tailoring classes. It seemed he had a desire to be a fashion designer. I sent him money for that. Then he wanted to go National Open University where he’d secured admission, and needed help with that as well. I contributed to that.
It began to get ridiculous. Not just his regular demands, but the fact that he didn’t seem to have a definite direction he was taking his life to. If it wasn’t one thing he wanted to do, it was another. Almost as though he was trying out different options of a lifestyle to know which one he would eventually get comfortable in. And nothing appeared to be working for long with him. I advised him to return to Port Harcourt, seeing as things weren’t working for him in Lagos. And he objected, saying that the only thing waiting for him in Port Harcourt was a job at his aunt’s shop, and that he couldn’t do that, knowing he had younger siblings to take care of. I understood that. I felt sorry for his situation. But I reasoned that doing that job, however unfulfilling it may be, would at least steadily put something in his account, as opposed to being broke all the time in Lagos. You know, half bread being better than none.
I knew my generosity contributed to his complacency. I can’t say exactly how much I’d given him at this point, none of which I expected to be paid back. But realizing that he was content with simply coasting through life as a Lagos Boy made me decide to stop. I stopped sending him money when he asked and I told him, “If you want to talk, I am here for you. But as for money, that I can no longer give.”
This expectedly upset him. It didn’t help that I was getting increasingly close to his best friend, Steven. He began to get very sulky whenever we interacted, sometimes snapping at me to stop talking to him about Steven whenever I called him and idly asked about his friend.
But I cared for Mo. I even had a fight with Steven one time when I tried to talk to him about Mo, trying to get him to be more concerned about his friend’s situation and why he seemed perpetually broke and without any direction. Steven had given me a response that made it seem like he was staying out of Mo’s financial troubles and his hustle in general. That didn’t sound like a very best-friendly thing to say, and when I called him out on that, we had a row. Steven had a house that was paid for by his record label, and I wondered why at the very least, he couldn’t let Mo stay with him.
And this was another thing I found puzzling about the life of Mo. Apart from Steven, he appeared to have a lot of friends in the entertainment industry. I didn’t understand why he was always so broke when he was often pictured at red carpet events, hobnobbing with celebrities. Like, how the hell does he need me to send him 5 grand for his transport or top off his phone with airtime, when he’s busy taking selfies with actors and musicians at exclusive events.
Someone, please help me make that make sense!
Then the next bizarre thing happened when he began talking about us being in a relationship. Addressing me with sweet endearments and calling me his boyfriend. I was like, WHAT! It didn’t matter that I got to know him by being thirsty for him. We were way past that now – at least, I was. I had to check this bizarre new behaviour of his by letting him know that while I liked him a lot, it wasn’t the kind of feeling that was romantic in nature. I cared for him as a friend. Simple. And even if I wanted to be in a relationship with him, that could never work because I wasn’t in Nigeria. I am not a fan of long-distance relationships.
I couldn’t even talk to Steven about this, because we were still miffed at each other over Mo. Not like Mo had any regard for that friendship either. As if he wanted to sour things between Steven and I, he began talking a lot of negative things about Steven to me, things I simply couldn’t believe Steven was capable of. I was struggling with taking Mo seriously at this point. I began to wonder if I had it twisted all along. If the reason Mo was so unlucky with his connections, like things not working out with his boyfriend and Steven not being invested in him the way a friend should be – if the reason for all this was Mo himself, instead of a world that was simply unjustly unfair to him.
I like Mo. I really do. I want the best for him, even if it’s unclear sometimes if he takes me for a friend or a fool. And knowing him, and knowing Papi, and knowing all the men I have in my life, I can’t help but wonder why fine boys have so much baggage.
Written by Rai
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28 Comments
Cocent
March 03, 06:47You have energy sha… but hay, we love whom we love. Deep breaths.
Orobo Hunter
March 03, 07:38I think he’s just being a kid. At 20, I didn’t have a whole lot figured out too..
Pink Panther
March 03, 08:14Orobo Hunter, he said Mo was 20 when he met him. Not that he has been 20 throughout the duration of the story. Just saying.
Bee
March 04, 07:42There are lots of “kids” below 20 who have a significant part of their lives figured out, some much more than today’s millennials. And I mean no shade to those “kids” who don’t. I just think we shouldn’t blame immaturity solely on age once the person in question is remarkably above 18 (is an adult). And I also think eighteen years is a lot of time to figure your shit out. By the way, we like preaching that age is a number, don’t we?
KryxxX
March 03, 07:53And what if Mo is just a yahoo guy trying to scam you into constantly giving him money?
What if?
Like I don’t get!
Black Dynasty
March 03, 09:03Sighs*.. I know people like this @ Mo (not necessarily the looks part)and been in a similar situation of helping out but they always seem to have one problem or the other requiring assistance.
Interestingly once you stop, they still seem to live on just fine.
Lol as for fine boys, especially the ones that know they’re fine and people throw themselves @ them etc… I just run the other way o, I don’t like stress in my life :).
keredim
March 03, 09:35???????????????
I died when he said he was horny in London and called a guy in Nigeria to say he was cute!!! From London???? ??♂️??♂️
And the “Fine boy” in Nigeria fleeced you AND somehow he is the one with Baggage????
Boy, you need Jesus. And I don’t just mean the son of God, but the ones of latin extract littered all over grindr.?
McDuke
March 03, 11:20Exactly my sentiments…well the writer seem very naive. For someone that has his phone number (not for business) on his IG profile, what were you expecting. It seems you’ve been a way for a long time to realise a lot of guys esp the “so called upcoming artistes” are not very different from Mo…
Rai❤️
March 03, 21:52Yeah lol steven is an upcoming artist with a proper label and everything, I’m sure some of yall know him. I can’t say his name now, can i ? and he never asked me for a dime not even 100 naira he’s a sweet boy x
Uzor
March 03, 16:12Swears! ??? I mean wtf! How do you, all the way from Britain call a dude in Nigeria cause you needed a quick romp? Well I guess some people prefer cyber sex to the real deal.
Calling mo was probably equivalent to putting blood in the water with leecherous sharks hovering.
Rai❤️
March 03, 21:55Dead ? , leave me ?
Uzor
March 03, 22:53No offense man! It’s all love ??❤❤❤
Chizzie
March 03, 13:17Mo basically embodies the life of so many Lagos Instagram boys that are essentially all package with absolutely nothing going for them… They are everywhere these days
The moment you saw his number was on his Instagram personal page, which is something only up and coming runs boys do, you should have backed the eff up
Rainbow Nova
March 03, 15:05“Someone, please help me make that make sense!”
It will never…and I’m not ‘just saying’ okay, not in a billion millennia or the afterlife.
I really can’t relate honestly (to either of you) so Imma tell you to laugh it off like a bad joke or some stupid mistake everyone makes now and then in this crazy timezone called life and “build a relationship” with a “fine-r” boy, you know one that actually makes complete and utter even perfect sense or better yet have fun being single baby! It’s a thrill I’ll tell you that?and it comes with a side dish of no unnecessary bullshit or heartbreaks plus stop being so naively nice, it’s dangerous and not worth it (now that I can totally relate to).
P. S. I did read the “Papi” story before commenting to get my facts right so really just have fun and be happy dear, I love your name too (might name my first child that, now if Goggle would just tell me what it means).
Net
March 03, 15:42Fine girls come with a lot of baggage too ?
Pink Panther
March 03, 15:44Lol. They do, huh?
Higwe
March 03, 20:07Lagos is basically fake it till you make it….
Going through my instagram handle ,you’d think I have a billion bucks stocked away somewhere ,you wouldn’t even know I probably used my friend’s iPhone to take the picture.
I understand guys like Mo a lot.
My take- there was no abusive ex – did you for once get a glimpse of the so called ex?
The timing of the relationship and it’s convenient ending- timed perfectly when you started showing concern is very questionable.
Mo is not unambitious – he’s just not letting you know what his true ambitions are.
The red carpet pictures , the snapping with celebrities, he certainly has an agenda.
You were just a tool, a Yankee mugu… he told you his pity stories and you swallowed it hook line and sinker.
Don’t be surprised that his family is well to do.
Someone apparently concerned about his family and the welfare of his younger siblings, never misses an opportunity to glam up for a photo up, just for instagram clout.
My last take : fine boys don’t come with a lot of baggage ;they merely exploit people with lots of baggage.
***
There is only one constant in this story of yours and all the previous and current situations outlined, and it’s not Mo.
Rai❤️
March 03, 21:47Higwe, kudos to you. not all us are hell bent on looking the part ?. What bloody relationship are u talking about? Mo and i never had a relationship man check your facts at the door before you come knocking. I do hope his family is well to do ??♂️ It takes nothing off my back. every penny i gave to him i gave because i could and still end up eating good. I’m talking seven courses and still be living an awesome life. Now if the stories were false, which I highly doubt, then hey all well well and good. i didn’t starve myself trying to help him. Lol if it so happens that he thought a few hundred pounds was him making a MUGU out of me, then i laugh at his game cause its weak, so please, porfavor don’t come here calling me names. It makes me sad for u brother x
Higwe
March 04, 05:30Searching for where I said you were in a relationship ?
Money could always be used for something else.
Never asked about your financial status, neither did I call you names.
A few hundred pounds *—- he was a 20 year old guy, he had to start from somewhere ??
You’re sad for me?
Oh Okay ?
RichieMichie
March 04, 01:43U said it all????
J
March 04, 06:22There’s something about dependency that turns people off. The moment you start demanding money from a man, he won’t take you seriously.
Delle
March 04, 09:31My own is the title of this post. Very annoying biko.
“Most fine boys come with a lot of baggage”…there, better.
That said, I think it’s all a learning process and from what I got, you’re a nice mean, generous enough to help someone you’ve never seen. That’s commendable.
Money given from the heart is never a waste. Whatever his motives are for collecting all that from you is his business and not yours.
And please, IG isn’t a place to find an authentic partner (especially when you’re all for physical appearance).
You’re alright.
Kvng
March 04, 12:53What i think is, mo is only playing u. I mean, wen u walk around Nigeria u will hear sad stories and some even do well to act the role properly, don’t be deceived by words. U did well by giving him what u gave him and helping him as a frnd, that’s what frnds do even if he was cheating u which shows how bad a frnd he is, and one of the reason why his frnds refuse to help him. He might be a lazy ass nigga who wants everything to come on a platter of gold and never have to sweat for anything. I think u shud talk to Steven more and see if he can open up to u as to why he or any of their frnds refuse to help mo, nd don’t go attacking him while doing this and if he refuse to tell u, back down cos i believe he doesn’t want to soil the image of his frnd, trying to uphold the good image of him in ur mind. Don’t send any money to Steven again biko, if he doesn’t take ur advise or work for his money as his frnds do den he shud starve as his story suggests. But in case ur acc is too full nd u nid someone to send money to, biko tell me lemme send u my acc no??
Eddie
March 04, 18:53So apparently one of us (not me, obviously) is an embittered, fake wannabe ???
Pink Panther
March 05, 02:17???? Eddie. Stahp.
kristo
March 05, 04:48why am I not mo in this story…….saddled with the task of keeping a Yankee bobo …….it is really sad tho…….being boyfriendless and all and somone gets the luck ….and misuses it!…well..tor ..
Mash
March 05, 23:43Rai, simply say the fine boys you’ve been meeting come with lot of baggage!
Not all Fine boys.
Tenkz
ChristianGayBoy
January 01, 22:52Another comment of mine coming maybe a little too late but…
The reality of things is that you are a good, generous man Rai. Do not let anyone take that from you.
When people say “how can you help him, what if he is lying? Abeg the guy dey scam you” I find this as a rather myopic reason to not help someone your guts deeply urge you to render an assisting hand.
For truly, before you allow one sided assumptions stop you from helping a fellow in need, you should think of the other side of such negative premonitions such as “what if this fellow does need this money? Would I be turning a blind eye to an individual in an actual unfortunate situation?”
At the end, helping people doesn’t take away from your being irrespective of their true motive and mindset.
Rai in my opinion you did good and your open-minded long-suffering actions and reactions as relayed in your story is absolutely beautiful.