LETTER TO BASH
Hello Bash,
The last time I was in love was…
I can’t even remember.
Time has passed that I don’t even know what love feels like.
I have seen different versions of love over the years that I don’t even have expectations anymore. One guy said he loved me but slept with my friend. The other one said I am the best he ever had. I wonder why he settled for mediocre.
My first experience with love was surreal. He was perfect for me. Intelligent. Smart. Sexy in a laid back way. Drama free and a terrific kisser. I not only fell for his intellect but for his charm. Everyone loved him and I knew I had found the one.
Or at least I thought I had.
A year later and we broke up. He wasn’t true and lied over and over again. The one I gave my heart to had ripped it in two; leaving me with nothing but pain and heartache. My world shattered and my consolation was cereal and cheesy break-up songs. Somehow I found the courage to let go and move on. And I have been fine ever since.
Have I really?
Yes I have whored around a bit. But who hasn’t? Maybe I have broken a couple of hearts myself. We have all done that? I usually just blamed it on my first love but now I don’t think I should anymore.
There is something about you, Bash. I don’t know what it is and I can’t put my finger on it. Is it the way you smile? Or the way you hold my hand? Or the way you kiss me like your entire existence depends on it. Maybe it’s in our conversations. The way I tease you about your birthmark or the way your signature beans and dodo gives me life. Maybe it is the way you laugh at my dry jokes or how you are quick to apologize even when I am wrong. It is probably how you pay attention to detail or the way you say “I really don’t want to fight right now.” Maybe it’s the sacrifices you made and continue to make for me.
You make me feel a certain type of way, Bash. You make me want to commit. You make me want spend the rest of my life with you. You make me want to be vulnerable with you. You make me want to be a lot of things but I am most thankful that you make me want to be a better person.
I don’t know what love feels like anymore. But if this is love, then I don’t want it to stop.
You are my world. And I hope that I am your world too.
Totally yours,
Tony Odekunle-Brown
About author
You might also like
YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME
I attended a very religious private university, one that is in complete hatred of any form of amorous relationship. You could even get expelled for talking to your own sister
THE FIRST STEP IS TO TELL YOURSELF THE TRUTH
Last year, I was following the #HowIResist campaign, and I remember going through some of the declarations and seeing myself in the words of all these people who were contributing
A Review of the Recent Kenyan High Court Judgment Against Homosexuality
On 24th May, 2019, a High Court of Justice sitting in Nairobi, Kenya, shocked Kenyan LGBT activists and their supporters around the world when it refused to strike down the
52 Comments
Dennis Macauley
February 05, 04:47Biko who is this bash?
#AskingForChestnut’sPeace OfMind
Absalom
February 05, 05:17Bash. The nigga who makes Tony coy and bash-ful.
Dennis Macauley
February 05, 05:20Lol! I see what you did there
Tony Odekunle-Brown
February 05, 06:40LMAO! That was a good one
chestnut
February 05, 06:26Dennis,u’re truly a good friend,because my mind has been running amok over this mystery! #iNeedToKnow
Dennis Macauley
February 05, 06:27Chestnut you know i always look out for your interests and ass-ests! Im a good friend
Tony Odekunle-Brown
February 05, 06:40Awwww… you are such a great friend.iLike
Dennis Macauley
February 05, 06:51Do you want me to look out for your ass-ests too?
shuga chocolata
February 05, 05:21Bash, sounds somehow
pinkpanthertb
February 05, 06:22Like he’s the kind of dude that will go in strong and bash the bejesus out of a bujaina? 😀
Dennis Macauley
February 05, 06:31So much for old school elegance! Vulgar much!!!
chestnut
February 05, 06:31Pinkyyyyyy oooo!!!! Tufiakwa gi! Have u no decorum? Ajo nwa!
Tony Odekunle-Brown
February 05, 06:42Hehehe… He does it so well. You know this Pinky!
Mercury
February 05, 08:10Jeeezus Pinky……you ave spoilt an finish, I wee teh your mummy.
Lord II
February 05, 10:20Leave her after now she will be calling me the king of carnality…now who is the queen eh biko?
pinkpanthertb
February 05, 13:47Saying I’m like you, Lord, is like saying Angel Gabriel and Lucifer have something in common.
Gad
February 05, 18:17They were angels. That’s one thing they had in common
Lord II
February 05, 15:48Ahahahahhahhhahhhhhhaha oh ok…you are the lucifer and am Angel Gabriel..oh so sweet..thanx Pinky Lucy!
pinkpanthertb
February 05, 16:42Whatever. Just as long as you understand that you and i are nothing alike.
Gad
February 05, 18:25My heart wants to shout “no”.you do have some things in common. U visit KD.You do things with dicks and assETs
pinkpanthertb
February 05, 23:14Personalities, Gad. Think your heart can handle knowing that i was talking about our personalities?
Gad
February 06, 02:00Heart the ball is now in your court
Masked Man
February 05, 06:12Well, I hope your heart doesn’t get Bashed this time.
Tony Odekunle-Brown
February 05, 06:42Amen oh! That is the prayer
Absalom
February 05, 08:13Of course he can’t be. Who wants you to die of a heart attack this morning? 🙂
chestnut
February 05, 06:23Wait…is dis “THE” Bash,we’re talking about here?(d one that seems to melt everyone’s heart like butter; according to grapevine…I never met him tho,hehe).
Tony Odekunle-Brown
February 05, 06:43I dont think he is the one
KryxxX
February 05, 06:26#Np Di’ja – Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Mr Kassy
February 05, 06:47Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! It must be love.I tap from your blessings Brown.
Max
February 05, 07:50Hian.. Haven’t felt like that in 7 years…
***sips coffee***
Peak
February 05, 10:09*Coughing out ice cubes*
Mercury
February 05, 08:18Dunno if I could feel this way about anyone, I think I’m weird.
Lord II
February 05, 11:31No you’re not Mercury you just haven’t found him yet….when you two meet then….sparks!
Masked Man
February 05, 08:19Max?
Biko where is Chizzie
Max
February 05, 08:41I’m right here… Anything I can do you for??
Jigga
February 05, 08:40That word sha “I Love u”…..sounds like Good morning to me, what can I do than reply back……Good morning, even when the morning isn’t good,
Masked Man
February 05, 09:04Max, 7yrs right?
Max
February 05, 15:09Yeah..7. Haven’t felt anything this crazy since then. Been meeting average joes since.. Barely make my hair stand
tobby
February 05, 09:28Bash is cheating on you 😉 🙂
Lord II
February 05, 10:23Haba Toby spoilsport…instead of u to say Awww, sweet and wonderful u go ahead and wanna coz commotion….takyatime dere oo!
Gad
February 05, 12:03Why say that?
tobby
February 05, 15:55Fooling around
Gad
February 05, 18:22I see
Chizzie
February 05, 11:05right.
Anyways this reminded me of one of my favorite songs. Fleetwood Mac’s You Make Loving Fun.
Ace
February 05, 12:29Sweet.
JustJames
February 05, 13:57This is so sweet, I can feel my teeth rot
Khaleesi
February 05, 15:48Wow…. what a beautiful piece … its poignant and heartfelt …question is: do such strong emotions emotions stand the test of time esp in this choking stifling homophobic environment?
Tony Odekunle-Brown
February 05, 17:10That is actually my fear. I was just telling someone that one of the reasons why a lot of same sex relationships fail is because of the Homophobic Nigeria we live in.
Still, there comes that time when you make the decision to “settle down” with someone because you realise that you are not getting any younger and you don’t want to wake up to the knowledge that you’ve slept with everyone part of the Lagos Gay Community. I think at that point its best to be with someone you like/love.
My thoughts sha
Lothario
February 05, 18:00Being a huge romantic, I totally appreciate this….have fun TOB, we all deserve it
Kuzaku
February 05, 20:55Chai… I need me a lover too lol.
Beautiful piece, Tony.
Oluwadamilare Okoro
February 07, 18:03Hmmmmmm
Love Never Felt So Good! | Clearly Not Straight
February 14, 05:54[…] am in Love! In case you didn’t know, check out this post here. I am in love with the coolest guy on earth and I have never been […]