iStock_000008148325-love-letter_6Hello Bash,

The last time I was in love was…

I can’t even remember.

Time has passed that I don’t even know what love feels like.

I have seen different versions of love over the years that I don’t even have expectations anymore. One guy said he loved me but slept with my friend. The other one said I am the best he ever had. I wonder why he settled for mediocre.

My first experience with love was surreal. He was perfect for me. Intelligent. Smart. Sexy in a laid back way. Drama free and a terrific kisser. I not only fell for his intellect but for his charm. Everyone loved him and I knew I had found the one.

Or at least I thought I had.

A year later and we broke up. He wasn’t true and lied over and over again. The one I gave my heart to had ripped it in two; leaving me with nothing but pain and heartache. My world shattered and my consolation was cereal and cheesy break-up songs. Somehow I found the courage to let go and move on. And I have been fine ever since.

Have I really?

Yes I have whored around a bit. But who hasn’t? Maybe I have broken a couple of hearts myself. We have all done that? I usually just blamed it on my first love but now I don’t think I should anymore.

There is something about you, Bash. I don’t know what it is and I can’t put my finger on it. Is it the way you smile? Or the way you hold my hand? Or the way you kiss me like your entire existence depends on it. Maybe it’s in our conversations. The way I tease you about your birthmark or the way your signature beans and dodo gives me life. Maybe it is the way you laugh at my dry jokes or how you are quick to apologize even when I am wrong. It is probably how you pay attention to detail or the way you say “I really don’t want to fight right now.” Maybe it’s the sacrifices you made and continue to make for me.

You make me feel a certain type of way, Bash. You make me want to commit. You make me want spend the rest of my life with you. You make me want to be vulnerable with you. You make me want to be a lot of things but I am most thankful that you make me want to be a better person.

I don’t know what love feels like anymore. But if this is love, then I don’t want it to stop.

You are my world. And I hope that I am your world too.

Totally yours,

Tony Odekunle-Brown

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    • pinkpanthertb
      February 05, 06:22 Reply

      Like he’s the kind of dude that will go in strong and bash the bejesus out of a bujaina? 😀

      • chestnut
        February 05, 06:31 Reply

        Pinkyyyyyy oooo!!!! Tufiakwa gi! Have u no decorum? Ajo nwa!

      • Mercury
        February 05, 08:10 Reply

        Jeeezus Pinky……you ave spoilt an finish, I wee teh your mummy.

      • Lord II
        February 05, 10:20 Reply

        Leave her after now she will be calling me the king of carnality…now who is the queen eh biko?

        • pinkpanthertb
          February 05, 13:47 Reply

          Saying I’m like you, Lord, is like saying Angel Gabriel and Lucifer have something in common.

          • Gad
            February 05, 18:17 Reply

            They were angels. That’s one thing they had in common

      • Lord II
        February 05, 15:48 Reply

        Ahahahahhahhhahhhhhhaha oh ok…you are the lucifer and am Angel Gabriel..oh so sweet..thanx Pinky Lucy!

        • pinkpanthertb
          February 05, 16:42 Reply

          Whatever. Just as long as you understand that you and i are nothing alike.

          • Gad
            February 05, 18:25 Reply

            My heart wants to shout “no”.you do have some things in common. U visit KD.You do things with dicks and assETs

            • pinkpanthertb
              February 05, 23:14 Reply

              Personalities, Gad. Think your heart can handle knowing that i was talking about our personalities?

              • Gad
                February 06, 02:00 Reply

                Heart the ball is now in your court

  1. Masked Man
    February 05, 06:12 Reply

    Well, I hope your heart doesn’t get Bashed this time.

      • Absalom
        February 05, 08:13 Reply

        Of course he can’t be. Who wants you to die of a heart attack this morning? 🙂

  2. chestnut
    February 05, 06:23 Reply

    Wait…is dis “THE” Bash,we’re talking about here?(d one that seems to melt everyone’s heart like butter; according to grapevine…I never met him tho,hehe).

  3. KryxxX
    February 05, 06:26 Reply

    #Np Di’ja – Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

  4. Mr Kassy
    February 05, 06:47 Reply

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! It must be love.I tap from your blessings Brown.

  5. Max
    February 05, 07:50 Reply

    Hian.. Haven’t felt like that in 7 years…
    ***sips coffee***

    • Peak
      February 05, 10:09 Reply

      *Coughing out ice cubes*

  6. Mercury
    February 05, 08:18 Reply

    Dunno if I could feel this way about anyone, I think I’m weird.

    • Lord II
      February 05, 11:31 Reply

      No you’re not Mercury you just haven’t found him yet….when you two meet then….sparks!

    • Max
      February 05, 08:41 Reply

      I’m right here… Anything I can do you for??

  7. Jigga
    February 05, 08:40 Reply

    That word sha “I Love u”…..sounds like Good morning to me, what can I do than reply back……Good morning, even when the morning isn’t good,

    • Max
      February 05, 15:09 Reply

      Yeah..7. Haven’t felt anything this crazy since then. Been meeting average joes since.. Barely make my hair stand

  8. tobby
    February 05, 09:28 Reply

    Bash is cheating on you 😉 🙂

    • Lord II
      February 05, 10:23 Reply

      Haba Toby spoilsport…instead of u to say Awww, sweet and wonderful u go ahead and wanna coz commotion….takyatime dere oo!

  9. Chizzie
    February 05, 11:05 Reply


    Anyways this reminded me of one of my favorite songs. Fleetwood Mac’s You Make Loving Fun.

  10. JustJames
    February 05, 13:57 Reply

    This is so sweet, I can feel my teeth rot

  11. Khaleesi
    February 05, 15:48 Reply

    Wow…. what a beautiful piece … its poignant and heartfelt …question is: do such strong emotions emotions stand the test of time esp in this choking stifling homophobic environment?

    • Tony Odekunle-Brown
      February 05, 17:10 Reply

      That is actually my fear. I was just telling someone that one of the reasons why a lot of same sex relationships fail is because of the Homophobic Nigeria we live in.

      Still, there comes that time when you make the decision to “settle down” with someone because you realise that you are not getting any younger and you don’t want to wake up to the knowledge that you’ve slept with everyone part of the Lagos Gay Community. I think at that point its best to be with someone you like/love.

      My thoughts sha

  12. Lothario
    February 05, 18:00 Reply

    Being a huge romantic, I totally appreciate this….have fun TOB, we all deserve it

  13. Kuzaku
    February 05, 20:55 Reply

    Chai… I need me a lover too lol.

    Beautiful piece, Tony.

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