The Straight Roommate
There was something about KCee. This I knew from the first moment I saw him. His charisma was just different from your typical first year student’s. Bearded, funky, overly confident (many freshers tend to have this air of self-consciousness and withdrawal about them, at first though), KCee was just totally different, weirdly so.
I remember my very first meeting with him. I was busily stirring my over-fried stew in a cup-like pot when he came into the room. He stared in my direction for an awkward thirty seconds; I don’t know if he was stunned by me or the intoxicating but choking aroma of my cooking. Then he said, “Ehn, sorry is this Room 218?”
I was going to be sarcastic, seeing as the room number was boldly written on the upper part of the doorpost, but the good spirits got the better of me and I nodded in affirmation and continued stirring, more intently. My first impression of him? Cute, but dumb.
“Anyway,” he continued, “I’m Kenechukwu or you can call me KCee. I was given a corner in this room, but I’ll be packing in fully by next tomorrow.” There was an infinitesimal pause, before he added, “And you?”
I was a little surprised at myself for not being the one chatting him up, which was quite unusual for me, because I love cute boys noticing me, especially when I’m clothed in just a tank-top and a short.
“I’m Delle and I guess I’ll be your roommate,” I said. “All the others went out but when they get back, I’ll be sure to tell them a new guy came in. Kelechi, right?” I was a little unsure; I hadn’t been listening when he carried on talking to me.
“No, Kenechukwu. Or abeg just call me KCee. I no get time.” He flashed a disarming smile at me.
Cute, dumb and razz, I thought, adding one more characteristic to my impression of him.
We said our goodbyes, and he started to leave. He stopped long enough to quip, “Nice cooking, by the way. We go see na.”
I rolled my eyes as the door shut behind him. Who was he trying to flatter? Me that knew very well that I was cooking rubbish.
Two days later, just as he said, he moved in. So boisterous, in a funky sort of way. He quickly made friends with my other roomies, and we merely exchanged handshakes. His personality had me curious about him, because he had the confidence of an MSc student and the swag of a hip-hop star. It was all so pushy, and I was more turned off than intrigued. All these hyperactive dudes don’t do it for me abeg.
As time went on, I quickly came to realize that he was the most generous person I’d ever met. KCee was ready to give you his breakfast and starve all in the name of benevolence. “Na guys things na,” he’d say after carrying out yet another feat of generosity that had those around him amazed.
Now, this guy was generous to all, but when it came to me, he was extravagantly openhanded. I’m not one to ask people for things, not because I’m too full of myself, but because I like to see myself as one who makes do with what he has. And yet, I always ended up getting things from KCee.
“Delle, see this body spray, you like am?” he’d say.
And I’d be like, “Yeah, it’s okay na. What happened to it?”
To which he’d say, “No, nothing o. I just feel like you should have it. I’m tired of using it.”
Tired of using something you just bought four days ago? I’d ask more to myself than to him.
That was how I got things from him; from body sprays, to his perfume, and then a singlet pack he hadn’t even opened to money. I later got to find out his mother was well-to-do. Not Dangote rich, but wealthy enough to erect a sizable duplex for herself and her two sons. His father had died when he was four years old.
Things were essentially good between us. I liked what we had: a close relationship with a straight guy.
Or was he?
Fast-forward three months later. It was nighttime, and we were all sleeping. In the room, our sleeping arrangement was about ten guys sharing five mattresses spread out on the floor. (Don’t ask me why this is so; direct your enquiries to the Federal Government). We sleep by joining the mattresses together and spreading out squeezed side by side. You could probably hear the dreams of the guy sleeping next to you if you listened carefully.
That night, I was stretched out next to KCee. I’m not a deep sleeper; I sleep pretty soundly but not in that dead-to-the-world manner. Some people ‘die’ once they put their heads down on a comfy bed; not me.
A few hours into our slumber, I felt a light touch on my thigh. It was heavy enough to jolt me out of my sleep, but so light I dismissed it as nothing consequential. Maybe a draft of air from the window? Besides, in this sardine-like sleeping arrangement of ours, sleeping bodies touching sleeping bodies was to be expected, no?
I returned to sleep, only to be woken by another touch. Actually this time it wasn’t a touch; it felt more like a grope. I drifted up from sleep to catch a whiff of the body smell that was uniquely his. KCee!
Is this guy actually touching me on purpose, or is this sleeping-body touch? I found myself wondering. There was only one way to find out. I drummed up a slight snore, like I was still asleep, and arched myself on the bed in such a way that my body would occupy a little more space than normal. Then I waited with a beating heart, waiting for the fish to jump at the wriggling worm. And jump it did.
He groped me again, this time more firmly, more assuredly. He was touching me. KCee was actually feeling me up. Issorait. I pretended like nothing was going on. I had to know where all this nocturnal antic was going to lead to. I just had to. So I kept ‘sleeping’.
I felt his hand linger on my thighs, his fingers grazing my body as they slowly made their way to my belly. I could not believe what was happening. The last time I had this experience was with a cousin of mine (story for another day). Questions battered at my mind: Hadn’t KCee said he had a girlfriend? Wasn’t this the same guy that said he would not have Sam Smith’s songs on his phone even if he was given 50K? This was hilarious. Here I was, gay AF, and getting felt up by a cute, good-hearted albeit antigay guy; I had to know what was next. It was only logical that I did. Of course I wasn’t going to sex him in a room where the next person is a finger-length away, but I had to know the extent this supposed straight, homophobic guy would get to with me.
His hand kept going up, and then stopped at my chest. Then he started a search session, his fingers tap-dancing searchingly about on my chest. He was apparently looking for my nipples. I shuddered when he found one. And he immediately began touching, pressing and lightly squeezing the nipple. Goose bumps raced themselves on my skin and it was all I could do not to moan out loud. God, how did he know that my nipples were one of my G-spots?
He continued the onslaught on my nipples. Apparently emboldened by the fact that I hadn’t reacted adversely to his invasion of my body, he proceeded to my ass region and started groping my cheeks. Ewoo! This na temptation! (*in PSquare’s voice*) What was stopping me from simply shucking my shorts right this minute (I usually wear only shorts to sleep) and letting him have his way with me? Apart from my natural self-discipline and the fact that I didn’t want anyone waking up to the sight of me panting under a guy’s dick up my ass, this was KCee! The annoyingly-homophobic, ‘straight’ friend of mine!
And really, I had never before met anyone with as much guts as this KCee had. He actually started pulling down my shorts, obviously wanting to free the globes of flesh he wanted to dive into. And with my heart beating faster than a frantic drummer accompanying the beat of Shakira’s dance, I stayed still and let him pull down my knickers. I was horny! Yes! I was already panting from the series of touching, groping and squeezing, and the fact that his hard-on was seriously poking my side – these and many more had contributed to turning me into jelly.
After my shorts were pulled down, he stopped touching me. I began to get alarmed. Why wasn’t he touching me anymore?! Had he suddenly lost interest? Did I do anything to scare him off? Had he suddenly realized he was straight? I was curious to know what was happening behind me. So I moved my head oh-so-slowly around to peep at him. And lo and behold, this dude was lubricating his finger with his saliva. Ehn?! Something about watching him dip his forefinger repeatedly into his mouth began to move me out of my entranced horniness. This guy was sha serious o! So he was looking to finger me, eh? And then what was next? A boinking session? On this bed right next to eight other guys?
This can’t happen! Not like this! If I that finger anywhere near my anal orifice, there’d be no stopping a headlong rush to sex. And that just couldn’t happen. Not in this hostel! And definitely not in this room, at this hour, on this bed!
So I stirred. I stirred and stretched, like I’d just woken up. I could feel him freeze up beside me, as I casually pulled my shorts back up. Then I moved about as far away as I could from him without ending up on the floor on my other side. He turned to his other side as well, away from me. And for the rest of the night, we didn’t so much as breathe in the same oxygen; not like I was able to get back to sleep anyway.
The next morning, away from the hearing of our roommates, I confronted him with what he’d done to me. And his response was: “You mean say na you I dey touch for night?” This was accompanied by a poor attempt at bewilderment on his face.
I didn’t know what I expected him to say to me, but it certainly wasn’t this Van Vicker act. I mean, seriously! A little annoyed, I snapped, “You’re asking me that after I just told you that you touched me?!”
“Ah, I think say na my babe. Sorry o. We do anything?”
Really?! You’re actually asking me that and expecting a reply?! I gave him an incredulous look.
And that was the end of our relationship as close friends. I really didn’t want things between us to end on the note it did, but since he was going to be a jackass about it, then I didn’t mind the writing-off of that chapter. We were cool with being the ‘hello-hi’ sort of roomies until he left the room, moving out to a lodge off-campus.
Written by Delle
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124 Comments
goldd1st
January 14, 06:24Wao….*sipping coffee*
Mandy
January 14, 06:28Damn! This KCee is one heck of a risk taker. So if to say you leave am, that’s how he’ll ‘sleep’-fuck you, eh?
Delle
January 14, 10:15The truth is I don’t know if I’d have had the will to stop him then…it’s a scary thought really and that’s cos our chances of getting caught, had we eventually copulated, were really high!
Marc Francis of Chelsea
January 14, 11:02Your story reminds me of my boarding house days lol. A guy sat on my bunk and started feeling me up and I waited for him to go far then turned and when I saw it was my SEXY room head, I said
“let’s go to the box room.” We had a swell time.
On another occasion same thing happened and when I saw it was a loser I had no interest in cos he bullied me, I said “if you don’t leave here now I will scream and disgrace you.” Never touched me again.
bruno
January 14, 06:41lol. this story is so familiar it’s something of a cliché. supposedly straight acquaintance spends the night and starts getting frisky. things naturally turn awkward in daylight and the relationship pretty much changes permanently. happened to me a couple of times in uni too.
these guys are poster boys for internalised homophobia.
…and ten of you in a room?! our government is really failing us.
Pink Panther
January 14, 06:46Aswearigod!
Kenny
January 14, 06:55Most federal universities are like that O Bruno. They care not about the welfare of the students.
ken
January 14, 06:47A certain tribe in nigeria is very well known for this sort of behaviour- deep internalized homophobia. The most annoying part is that they are often the cutest and well endowed. Smh
I love the way the story ended tho. It would have been so disappointing if the sex actually happened!
ambivalentone
January 14, 07:00Speak for urself. All those muted grunts and muffled moans and darting eyes would av bin d perfect conclusion.
And whats with u n being tribal eh kwa?
Mandy
January 14, 07:20Me sef taya. Ken, why do u get so hopped up on tribal issues when it comes to sexuality. Aren’t you too educated for these prejudices?
Henrie
January 14, 07:38Was that tribal dig actually necessary or you deliberately wanted to ruffle feathers?
ken
January 14, 07:42Ladies. Puh-leeeese…..
This is my opinion. I am speaking for mysef from personal experiences. So stop the nagging already!
Max 2.0
January 14, 08:23Yeah the “opinion flag” usually waved when people are making nonsensical comments.
Kenny
January 14, 06:54Guys like Kcee for whatever reason are always many on campus. Touching you inappropriately and sending mixed signals only to later throw their supposed ‘straightness’ in your face. I avoid them like the plague.
Henrie
January 14, 07:37I just don’t take them seriously. I had quite a number as pals in school. I think they all knew i wasn’t straight.
tarter
January 14, 07:04i couldn’t stay in the hostel, too much testosterone, and the bathroom is communal,i can’t begin my day by staring at gorgeous nude big pricks and firm asses,i won’t concentrate,so i jejely respected and got my own place, na who them won kill with hotness.
Henrie
January 14, 07:41I tire o. My three weeks in Nysc camp was hell. Continuously being plagued by hotness i couldn’t feel wasn’t an easy sontin o.
Jamie
January 14, 07:10You served him the rightful drink, and in the right container. If you’d let him have his way that night, who’s sure that he’d have been any different from what he turned out at day? You’re not a log of wood/sex toy na.
Henrie
January 14, 07:45??????
#TeamKizito
January 14, 07:11Hmmm.
THE ANONYMOUS NIGGA
January 14, 07:18Climax – anti climax. I know his kind. Eaten a few for breakfast myself. *firstComment*
Pink Panther
January 14, 07:35Welcome, Anonymous Nigga. 🙂
Teflondon
January 14, 07:27I know it’s early days in the year 2016 but I think this is a strong contender for lamest post of the year. Perhaps?
This story did nothing for me. It wasn’t interesting, I didn’t learn anything, I sure wasn’t aroused. And trust me it had nothing to do with the writer. It’s just the story. Poorly thought and served. You know one of those stories were the headline is catchy and you go on to read it and then half way through the read, you realize you have wasted some minutes of your life but just have to finish because of the time you have already invested in reading it up to that point. I couldn’t wait for the story to just end.
I get this is a kiddies rant but even at that it more or less felt like it was written by a ‘poor mans kizito’
#Chestnut
January 14, 07:32Why didn’t u enjoy d story Tef? Because there was no fucking at d end?
Mandy
January 14, 07:34Who is he kidding? Abeg he saw Delle’s name and decided, “Today, satan, today please.”
Henrie
January 14, 07:44Beesh please!! Make we hear word. If you’re looking for something to learn from go effing buy a school textbook!
#TeamKizito
January 14, 08:13Poor mans Kizito? Thief, was that shade? :s
It is shade. Yee! My eyes. Wharapun to my eyes! Thief, my eyes!
Teflondon
January 14, 10:24It was actually a compliment to you.
E.g Calling Sean Tizzle a ‘Poor Man’s Davido’ i.e looks like something or someone but not upto the standard of that thing or person.
comprendre?
But of course you wouldn’t believe the big bad Tef would ever compliment. trust me i understand the complex.
iamcoy
January 14, 13:46Thief?
ikhines
January 14, 08:49I agree Tef! This is the type of story you forget 30secs after reading…
Crea
January 14, 08:58the story was lame as your comment 🤔
keredim
January 14, 09:10Lame or not, at least it is HIS story…..?
Dennis Macaulay
January 14, 12:14HIS story!
#ShadeSpotted
#SayNoToPlagiarism
Max 2.0
January 14, 09:27You weren’t aroused? Seriously? Is that what you come here to look for? “Getting high on people’s stories”?
There are tons of erotic materials (novels, texts and articles) online. Try making use of google once in a while.
Keredim
January 14, 09:36Don’t you need to see your dick first, before you can tell you were aroused??
Max 2.0
January 14, 10:00Hahahahahahaha ???? its too early for this Na, chai. You people are not nice at all. Hell awaits you @Keredim
Teflondon
January 14, 10:08Max don’t be stupid.. there are tons of write ups people post on KD that get people’s ‘willy’ up. I’m not the one always drooling in the comment section of different peoples sexual tryst posted here. Go check for yourself and stop being a pretentious F**k.
Moreover some of us actually have awesome sexual life (something that might be foreign to you) i don’t need no Online publication or boring sexual stories to give me satisfaction.
“There are tons of erotic materials (novels, texts and articles) online. Try making use of google once in a while.” ??
I have always wondered; since you are #TeamNoSexWithoutDating (and we all know how hard it is to date you from your MUMU rules) how you have been able to survive your boring sexual life. Well No guesses you have engrossed yourself in years of research on online porn and erotic stories to survive. #Perv
Max 2.0
January 14, 11:46But seriously @RatchetMushin you really need to get tested.. Don’t even wanna imagine what they’re gonna find ???
Delle
January 14, 10:23Last I checked, I wrote no erotica. Is this how flimsy your libido is as to get turned on by even the least arousing post? So the only prerequisite to your enjoying a read is if your thumb-like pecker gets outstretched? Amazing how daft you always sound, proudly so. Well too bad the post didn’t do all those perverted things for you, I’d have slapped myself if you had said something positive, I hate Hippos and not just cos they are ugly and more deadly, they are fat and remind me of you all the time!
Get yourself a job real quick cos your reign here as DUMBEST KDIAN is not paying at all!
Bye now
lonz
January 16, 00:39Chimoo, what is it with tef. If it did nothing for you shutup and move on. Be making enemies up and down.
#Chestnut
January 14, 07:28Hilarious! His gf must be really-flated chested,if after playing with ur nipples,he still thought it was his gf he was stroking upandan like a banjo. Hahaha…I can’t deal biko. And he’s d kind of guy that would brag to anyone that cares to listen,that he can’t have sam smith’s songs on his fone? Who ask u? Shior!
Pink Panther
January 14, 07:30‘stroking nipples upandan like a banjo.’
Hahahahahahahahahahaa!!! Today, laff will kee me.
The Vhar-gency.
January 14, 07:40Keredim, do you have anything to say about Delle’s post?
Deola
January 14, 07:47The Vhar-Gency ke?
Vhar.
January 14, 08:31Excuse me The Vhar-gency, could you explain what is going on here, please?
Pink Panther
January 14, 08:43Hahahahahahahaa!!! Vhar, apparently you have a fan club. Revel in it, darling. Revel.
Vhar.
January 14, 08:51Fans ke? From where na?
Eros
January 14, 12:05Vhar-gency???
*clutches pearls*
Lothario
January 14, 13:13Would you rather the Eros-gency?
Dickson Clement
January 14, 08:08Why do I feel the location of this story is UNN, maybe because I was there. You are bold Delle. You even let him go far with you while trying to discover his intents. What if you had lost it… and the both of you went 50 shades of fuckery? I don’t think you should have cross examined him?
Delle
January 14, 10:12Hmm…Crystal ball someborri or maybe a lucky guess, no?
Chandler B.
January 14, 12:57Aswear I also tot it was UNN. The cooking in front of your room; room numberings on the top of the door; sleeping arrangement with the never ending squatters- are all pointers to UNN’s hostel living conditions.
Kenny
January 14, 19:52Doesn’t count. Most federal university hostels are like that.
michael
January 15, 11:02Me too.. That their hostel is a hell hole..?
Max 2.0
January 14, 08:09“Ah, I think say na my babe. Sorry o. We do anything?”
You think sey Na your babe abi? Oya chili ise!. What rubbish?. Straight(or are they?) men can lie for Africa and America combined. I’ve had experiences like this… They always pretend like nothing happened in the morning. But this your guy get mind oh, hmmm. He went too far with the attempted fingering.
Its a good thing you got rid of him in your life.
Tamara
January 14, 08:22‘ Stroking nipples up and down like a banjo’ damn! That got me. Thumbs up Delle, what a way to start off the day, #these *straigys* aint loyal, smh#
CG
January 14, 08:29Very typical of these sanctimonious hypocrite that call themselves straight
Francis
January 14, 08:30Delle congrats on your first post. It was beautiful and funny. ??? These encounters never end well. Me and my cousin don’t speak till date after he pulled this stunt as kids though i didn’t confront him sha.
P.S: Hope say nobdoy bin dey cough for that una room for more than 3 weeks? TB full Naija oh. Lol
Delle
January 14, 11:21Thank you dearie! I’d always hold you close 2 my heart! *kisses and smooches*
The Vhar-gency.
January 14, 09:05We’re a group of friends who, overtime, have come to admire His Royal Writer, Vhar.
His work.
His beautiful mind.
He’s a god.
We’re here to stay. And we’ll be on the lookout for trolls and the ignorant.
Vhar.
January 14, 09:51Whomever you guys are, I should be flattered. Really, I should be but I’m not. I find this creepy.
For the admiration and all, thank you but I’m no god. You have no perspicacious knowledge about me.
I don’t need fans.
I don’t need anyone fighting my “internet battles”.
Leave the trolls and ignorant alone. We all have a role to play.
If you’re looking for relevance and popularity, I don’t think your pseudonym should be affiliated with an already existing one.
Don’t be a bovine lummox.
Enjoy.
Absalom
January 14, 10:01Uhmmm…ouch (?) ?
Max 2.0
January 14, 10:01Omg ??
Brian Collins
January 14, 12:38I very much found this in bad taste. Simple, pls change your pseudo or I don’t like that it has something to do with mine woulda passed the message. Which one was now “if you are looking for popularity and bla bla bla” ? And then referring to them as Bovine Lummox?
Not cool at all.
Someone has been MM’s bae, another Delle’s bae, another Khaleesi’s King or so.
Keredim
January 14, 14:41…and just like that an unsolicited good intention is decimated. Shot down midway through take off…Just like that ??
Francis
January 14, 14:49Nna eh, I just siddon dey wonder which offense Vhar-gency commit.
Keredim
January 14, 16:04Francis nwanna, sometimes e no good to drink another person Panadol for a perceived headache.?
I beg shift small make I follow you siddon look?
posh6666
January 14, 16:10Yea sometimes having good intentions isnt just enough.Not too long ago you Keredim misunderstood an innocent comment i made which was so totally not about you for which i still apologised,what did you do?you were rude and gave me attitude after which i told you fuck you.Yes thats how it feels having ur good intentions turned into thrash
Keredim
January 14, 17:04I am really not sure I follow.?
Wayfaring Stranger
January 14, 16:18I don’t understand this kind of arrogance.
Brian Collins
January 14, 18:25I say ehn, I thought I was the only one who felt it.
posh6666
January 14, 09:33Delle are you the guy on facebook with an igbo name? Because I am very very sure I have read this same exact story on facebook so please cclarify.Also the guy that wrote the story is definitely older than 18yrs fair in complexion I just want to be sure this isnt the case of plagiarism.Thanks
#Chestnut
January 14, 09:51O seti go…#WorldPeople dem. *looks for comfortable spot and spreads mat*
Absalom
January 14, 10:06*eating icecream*
Max 2.0
January 14, 10:04@Deola, your barrow of pop corn is needed badly. @Chestnut, pass me the coffee mug.. This should be interesting.
Delle
January 14, 10:06Yes Posh, it’s the same me. Thanks for the concern…muah!
posh6666
January 14, 10:16Oh ok good but please how old are you exactly? Cos kdians think you are like 17-18 myself included but that guy on facebook looks grown atleast nothing less than 22-24
Delle
January 14, 10:26Lol, m 19 going on 20 and if I look that old, thanks.
Don’t worry, it’s the same me…PP can attest to that.
posh6666
January 14, 10:33Its all good just wanted to clarify tnx.I’m actually one of ur avid readers on facebook you write so well and very creative too.I have always wondered who the guy was and why he has never penned down any article on kd.
Delle
January 14, 11:26Aww thank you dearie. Apparently, I send only a few of them to PP, I’d try sending more.
OAN
I wish I could actually unravel the face behind Posh666…u could send me an inbox since you clearly know my fb ID…waddya say? *smirks*
Wayfaring Stranger
January 14, 11:29You know all the gay guys in Nigeria.
Brian Collins
January 14, 12:40He doesn’t know me…….yet.
Wayfaring Stranger
January 14, 14:11Lool. You can’t be too certain oh.
mirror in the sea
January 14, 13:33pls wats d name lemme goan check out ur page for more really love this
Keredim
January 14, 09:45@Vhar- gency, it was a funny story with well placed one liners.
Very entertaining.
I have two concerns though:
1) 10 people in a room in Uni?!! How big is this room? Like Francis said, ease of disease spreading.
2) Kcee wanting to finger a bum at night. How clean was this bum going to be? He could have dug up something. (But I guess it’s the writer’s prerogative)
Well done Delle??????
Delle
January 14, 10:10My dear, the dilapidated state of most federal schools in Nigeria is alarming. There are rooms with 16 occupants and only 5 mattresses but with a school that has only 2 male hostels, what do u expect? It’s terrible really
ArabianPrincess
January 15, 21:52thank God you said most…..Unilorin aint like that
Max 2.0
January 14, 10:12???Tufia GI.. You’re the worst on this blog . ??????. Even worse than chest nut.
#Chestnut
January 14, 11:09What haff I done nah? *innocent stare*
Keredim
January 14, 12:40@Max!! Ogini? Gini ka mere nau??????
Khaleesi
January 14, 10:43lool … memories, I remember my time in the hostel in Uni, at some point i also had a touchy – feely – gropy roommate who’s hands roamed all over me at night, but for some weird reason, I wasn’t all that into him so I put a stop to it … memories …
Alves
January 14, 10:56I have a friend like that, who loves to cuddle and call me some kind sweet-sweet names. Then ‘Cristiano might be gay’ comes up, and he remembers his straight cannons.
simba
January 14, 11:18Delle, I read this with rapt attention dear.. but hmmmm no sex, even at a later date?? Ohhhh sad… Posh dear, hmmmm ain’t u too harsh to ur fans… Nigeria Universities,luckily no epidemic outbreak it ‘ll kill hundreds in hours
posh6666
January 14, 11:24Lol simba like i said i was only trying to clarify things.He’s a very good writer from all his writeups on facebook which i always look forward to reading,just a pity he had to go for sciences.Teflondon was guilty of plagiarism one time and he shamelessly claimed credit.
Mandy
January 14, 11:31‘shamelessly claimed credit’. Lol. Some things can never be forgotten on KD.
Wayfaring Stranger
January 14, 11:27Posh or Vhar? Sure you read with rapt attention?
Mandy
January 14, 11:33LMAO. WS, you too? So you’ve been inducted into Keredim’s club of brutal sarcasm.
Wayfaring Stranger
January 14, 12:16I don’t think I have. I was only clarifying for him; I don’t encourage meanness. ?
Keredim
January 14, 14:01You dey craze o!! ???
Wayfaring Stranger
January 14, 11:24Is this something that happened recently? I didn’t know people still did this. Thought it ended at boarding houses in high schools.
Delle
January 14, 11:30Lol…it actually happened 2 years ago and like they say, old habits don’t die.
The boarders that do that would very well bring it into the tertiary institutions. I was never a boarder anyway…
Wayfaring Stranger
January 14, 12:10I get your point.
sinnex
January 14, 11:47This is nice. I missed a lot. I can’t believe I passed through Secondary School , University and NYSC without experimenting. Now, i am chasing after those guys who kept on asking me out in Secondary School, unfortunately they are straight as fuck and don’t remember anything.
Delle, i am looking forward to more of your stories.
kacee
January 14, 11:51I feel like cutting that dick’s finger, na God save him sha. Can u imagine someone touching my baby’s ass, sorry MM, Delle is my baby. mtchewww.
Delle
January 14, 12:28I see you, Mama!
Brian Collins
January 14, 18:27Ehn ehn Kacee, so only you was MM’s Bae and then Delle’s Bae? I don see you finish o.
Dickson Clement
January 14, 12:05Mehn! A lot of bitter souls in the world. They spill their bitterness in the comment section. How do you guys unveil pple here???
KingBey
January 14, 14:26Asineh ! It’s baffling. And I thought KD was an anonymous blog.
Brian Collins
January 14, 12:45Delle sweet, I see you oh. I was gonna tell you to take your ass over to his room off campus and make him beg you to let him fuck you. But two years is a long time sha.
Nice one.
Delle
January 14, 14:23So I wee now go and carri my sef and go and meet him in his room to seduce him into sexing me? Lol, Brian…ur imagination is HILARICAL!
Well, I like my dignity and he just doesn’t read on my meter anyway…*winks*
Lothario
January 14, 13:58Oh Delle, good one! An experience worth having since he was a hunk, albeit one filled with stupidity, still a hunk nonetheless.
Still, this will make good dinner party conversation someday. Just make sure you’re always on the safe side.
Delle
January 14, 14:24Looking forward to that dinner party conversation though
*resumes hair gelling*
posh6666
January 14, 18:48Pinky needs to stop this childish attitude who has the time to be going thru comments and deleting it? We are all adults here and should be able to receive it as much as we give it..Most of us are guilty of throwing jabs n shades at one another so not really a biggie people should just toughen up abeg life isnt fair afterall.
Pink Panther
January 14, 18:57You know, you can rave and rant from now till His Kingdom comes, you can lecture me about everything you think I should do or shouldn’t do, salting your reprimand with insults in between…
But at this stage in our acquaintanceship with each other here on KD, haven’t you learned that I’ll do what’s on my mind to do?
And kindly stop making this about you. My actions today weren’t about you or any other peeps who’ll no doubt come after me. It’s not. I simply realized (albeit too late) that the comment bearing Delle’s identity should not have been left here for the obnoxious KDians to delight in. Delle is not my friend, for those who are ready to pounce on the misconception that I’m all about my friends on KD. He is simply someone who made a mistake that I decided to correct. If your comments got in the way of that correction, too bad. Deal with it and move on.
ikhines
January 14, 21:19Na you sabi… sha do quick and post while we were yet kids part 6. Oniranu!
Brian Collins
January 15, 08:03Thank you Pinky, I would want those deletes too if I were Delle. Posh, take ya time o.
posh6666
January 15, 09:05Lol haba Brian my ore
Chizzie
January 14, 18:56Was going to lol at someone’s mean but extremely hilarious comment but appaz its been deleted. So you know, whatever ?
Wayfaring Stranger
January 14, 19:01Put your own Facebook id so we can start another “rate his looks” thread beneath it.
peaches
January 14, 23:40This tory tuff walai!… and to think he was pretending to be sleep fucking his babe… the baboon. chai, Delle, why do God so luv these pple by taking them off my way way, me d daughter of eight mad pple, wen i finish dia bnk acct, an empty peak tin wld make less noise compared to it. *bites lips*
TayBtm
January 15, 00:15Im so happy i found dis 2day, I luv stories dat show how gay str8 pple really are, reminds me of one story chimamanda put on olisa tv dat I really like about one str8 boy and his gay friend and how dey fell in love, it was so lovely
TayBtm
January 15, 00:20I cant post d link here dunno why, maybe u shud google it
TayBtm
January 15, 09:55http://www.olisa.tv/2015/08/15/special-literary-supplement-selected-and-edited-by-chimamanda-adichie-2/
STRAIGHT MEN DO UNTO US TOO – KitoDiaries
July 30, 10:29[…] KCee would one day molest me as the other roommates slept at night, oblivious to the happenings in the room. The next day, I would confront him about it and his response would trigger the end. The end to all the nonsense going on. (This much I talked about in the story, THE STRAIGHT ROOMMATE) […]