Christian Mother Asks How To Keep Her Gay Teen Son Pure, Internet Tears Her A New One In Response
This mother’s screen name was the first tip-off that trouble was afoot: scaredcatholicmom posted a lengthy plea for advice in a Catholic forum.
Then there was her post’s title: “What else can I do to make sure my son with SSA (same sex attractions) remains on the right path? How can I stop being so afraid for him?”
She went on to explain that her youngest of four sons, just 17-years-old, came out when he was only 14.
“After we got over our initial shock (and I had taken some time to grieve the loss of my dreams of his one day having a family), we sat him down and told him we loved him, and that what he had told us wouldn’t change that in the slightest,” she wrote.
Except that for the last three years, she and her husband have been teaching their son that the only way for “people like him” to lead an honorable life is for him to remain celibate.
And here’s how she’s trying to make sure that happens:
“We also set up other defenses for his chastity: we pulled him off of the basketball team (the locker room would just be an unnecessary temptation, and his presence there would be inappropriate and unfair to the other boys in his situation). We took the door off of his bedroom since privacy would just tempt him to experiment in the ways teen boys tend to do, and we forbid him from having sleepovers or spending one-on-one time with any of his male friends unsupervised…we also forbid him from dating, or participating in activities like his high school prom…unlike our other sons, we never allowed him to have a cell phone, since he might use it to access inappropriate and confusing images.”
And what fruits has this parenting horror story yielded?
“Our son has often told my husband and me that he feels very lonely, and that it’s devastating that he’ll never be able to be in love or have a family. He went through a bout of depression after our oldest married, since he knows that’s something he’ll never be able to have, and that he’ll never be able to make us proud and happy that way. But we were always very firm in explaining that coping with loneliness and envy is always going to be a part of his life.”
Now he’s about to go to college, and scaredcatholicmom has made it clear that if he ever acts on his “SSA,” his financial support will be cut off immediately.
But how will she be able to be sure that he’s remaining pure?
Commenters flooded the page with disgust and accusations of abuse.
One self-identifying gay Catholic told her exactly how it is:
“Bring on the downvotes, whatever, this is too important to leave unsaid. Regardless of your view of homosexuality, what you are doing to your son is abusive. You are just teaching him that he’s inherently bad and dangerous by singling him out from his brothers the way you have; you’re alienating him and ruining his self-esteem. If your priest has signed off on all this, he needs better counsel – preferably from a legitimate, licensed mental health professional. Not for being gay, but for getting over having parents who decided to treat him like a dangerous criminal instead of a vulnerable child.”
Scaredcatholicmom’s response? “That was uncalled for.”
Her original post has since been deleted, likely due to the onslaught of harsh reality she was forced to confront. But you can still read all the comments, the most serious of which being:
“I had a friend in high school that was gay in a Christian family, although they didn’t go so far as to remove his bedroom door and take away his phone and friends as you have done.
I say “had” because he took his own life.
His suicide note said it was because he felt unnatural, unwelcome, unwanted, and he would never be able to live how his parents told him he was going to have to live.
Please don’t drive your son to this.”
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14 Comments
pete
August 09, 08:13Reorientation is the way forward but religion / traditions is a hindrance. Imagine doing all these cos your son came out! Why won’t he feel life ain’t worth living? And if you push your son to despair, you stand to lose a lot more than the people / society / religion you are trying not to disappoint
Tiercel de Claron
August 09, 09:20My reading of it,this had nothing to do with religion,tradition or even societal expectations,but the parents’ desire to live their son’s life for him.
#Chestnut
August 09, 08:54I don’t get it: she accepted her son’s sexuality,but doesn’t want him to EVER practise?or doesn’t want him to practise until a certain age?
Absalom
August 09, 09:04Stay on the line let me call her and ask. *dialling Scaredcatholicmom*
#Chestnut
August 09, 09:26Absie, u don call am? I’m still on d line o… #iNeedAnswers
Absalom
August 09, 10:04Her line is switched off. I think she and her husband are having sex. Something her gay son is forbidden to do. 🙂 Let us pray…
Pink Panther
August 10, 07:58LOL. Absalom sef.
james bruno
August 09, 09:06so how long long would they keep doing this? the kid is going to grow up and leave home and meet people who actually deserve him and see his parent for the psychopaths they are. hopefully he’s not too fucked up before that happens.
Pink Panther
August 10, 07:59Exactly, bruno. hopefully he’s not.
Django
August 09, 09:08Little wonder why Nigerian LGBT teens won’t comeout to their parents/guardians regardless of how much love shown and enlightenment their parents claim to have. Unless they find out for themselves, who wants to have their doors removed and education cut off or even disowned? Why would an African LGBT person who’s still financially dependent willingly comeout to their family knowing fully well how they’d possibly react?
Tiercel de Claron
August 09, 09:15“Regardless of your view of homosexuality, what you are doing to your son is abusive.You are just teaching him that he’s inherently bad
and dangerous by singling him out from his brothers the way you have; you’re alienating him and ruining his self-esteem.If your priest has signed off on all this,he needs better counsel – preferably from a legitimate,licensed mental health
professional.Not for being gay,but for getting over having parents who decided to treat him like a dangerous criminal instead of a vulnerable child.”
That says it all.
Mitch
August 09, 10:58Lord! And she actually believes she’s helping her son? Talk about twisted minds! I believe her problem comes from trying to accept her son’s sexuality within the confines of religion. A friend once told me that being gay is not sinful. Rather the sin was engaging in gay sexual activities. All he had to back his words up with was Matthew 19 verse 12 where Jesus said some people weren’t meant to marry because of some deformities. I believe that is what has over-riden this mom’s senses to the point where she feels she’s helping her son by trying to run his life for him.
KryxxX
August 09, 11:41I see my mum doing worst! At least d boy is going to college! With mine, u won’t go cha cha! Your life would become a living hell nd suicide would look as attractive as Trey Songz strip dancing in my bedroom!
I dont really think its about religion but more of her mindset nd fear! She thinks that doing this stuff to her son would make him change or curb those urges! But alas, she is wrong. Change comes from within. You dont force it on ppl!
And biko, I just keep painting pictures of d boy dropping out of college, running to Vegas nd joining the “Thunder from down under” men or worst, a gay stripper! The mother is about to get a shocker!
Max
August 11, 17:37The lady is sick. She should be made to face the gallows