Coming From America: A Kito Story
This is the kind of experience that you realize should’ve never happened when you’re in hindsight, recounting the story.
He sent me a friend request on Facebook as Frank Sandra, and I accepted. We started chatting, and it wasn’t very long before we established the fact that we were both into guys and might be interested in a hookup. And so we moved over to WhatsApp, and his number was a foreign one, +1 (267) 277-6512. He said he was based in America and would be coming in the following Wednesday. We exchanged pictures and his were those of a very gorgeous light-skinned man – which matched the few he had on his Facebook profile. He said he was versatile, and I told him I am Top. We chatted a bit on WhatsApp and exchanged a few nude pictures. But because it seemed he wanted someone he’d fuck, I connected him to my friend (let’s call him Amara).
Frank and Amara carried on chatting, with me learning the progress of their interaction from Amara. Amara saw his pictures and was instantly smitten. During their communication, he (Amara) also sent Frank nude pictures and videos of him wanking. Amara tried to get the both of them to do video calls, but Frank always declined, claiming he was too busy. That was supposed to be the first red flag that this Frank Sandra was not all that he purported to be.
The Wednesday that Frank was supposed to come to Nigeria came, and he and Amara began to plan in earnest for Amara to come visit him in Abuja from Aba. Per their arrangement that he’d pay Amara’s fare to Abuja, he sent my friend a GIGM online booked bus ticket. Amara was scheduled to leave Aba for Abuja on Thursday morning. Frank had also told Amara that when he gets to Abuja, a friend of his would come and pick him up from the terminal. However, when he got to the terminal in Aba and provided the booking number for the GIGM terminal attendant, he was told that it was an old booking number that had been used by someone who traveled from Enugu to Abuja.
When Amara buzzed Frank to inform him of what had happened, he was profuse with his apologies, claiming that it was his friend who purchased the ticket and that he must have made a mistake. Then he urged Amara to pay for the fare, promising to pay him back double when he gets to Abuja. All Amara had in his account at the time was 8 grand; the fare to Abuja was 7200, and so he paid and set off for Abuja.
He got to Abuja by 7pm. Some minutes after alerting Frank to his arrival, he was located by the ‘friend’ – a slightly tattered-looking, dark-complexioned young man, bald-headed with a Rick Ross beard, who came to pick him up with a private car. He drove him to a house that appeared to be a family house and quietly snuck Amara in through the back door to a small parlour-and-one-bedroom flat downstairs. The place was barely furnished; according to Amara, it looked like some of the furniture had been moved out, except for a bed, a small plasma television and a near-empty wardrobe.
Amara was hungry and asked for some food. This friend, whose name Amara didn’t bother to ask seeing as he wasn’t the one he was there to see, said he’d get his dinner for him, asking him to relax and wait. Amara waited endlessly. No one came back with any food, and eventually, by 1am, he fell into an exhausted sleep.
Around 3am, he was woken up by this ‘friend’. He hadn’t come with food – oh no. he’d instead come with a boner. He wanted to have sex with Amara. Filled with affront and still very hungry and tired, Amara shut him down. The guy didn’t attempt to force himself on him and left the room immediately after. Very early in the morning, around 5am, he came back again, wanting to have sex with Amara. This time, Amara acquiesced and they shagged. After the sex, he gave Amara bread to eat, saying he should have that while he prepared breakfast for him.
All this time, Amara had been trying to reach Frank on WhatsApp to no avail. He didn’t have a number to call him with because Frank had told him he was yet to purchase a Nigerian number. So all they had was WhatsApp, and Frank didn’t respond until the next day, after Amara had found himself waiting and waiting again for the food his ‘friend’ promised. Frank reassured him that he couldn’t wait to see him and that he should be patient, that his ‘friend’ would bring him to his hotel in the evening.
Eventually, by 8pm, the ‘friend’ came to see Amara and told him to get dressed, that he’d be taking him to go see Frank in his hotel room. Andin the same way he was brought in, the guy snuck him out of the house quietly. They got into the car and drove off. For about 40 minutes, the guy drove and drove, taking turn after turn in such a way that Amara began to suspect that this was a ruse intended for him not to remember the way back to the house they left.
Eventually, they got to the hotel, and the guy began fussing, like he had a phone call to answer. He told Amara to go on up to the restaurant, that Frank would be there waiting for him. Amara went up, located the restaurant, and saw no one remotely resembling Frank Sandra in there. He waited for about twenty minutes, messaging Frank on WhatsApp as he waited. And even though his messages were read, Frank didn’t reply. Then he tried calling the ‘friend’ and his calls kept getting cut off.
At this point, he began to realize what a mess of a situation he was in. And so he called me and told me what was happening. He was hysterical. I calmed him down some, and then sent him 6grand. He took a cab to bus terminal and got into a night bus bound for Aba.
He got back to Aba and we got together. After doing some digging and piecing our findings together with some things Amara was able to recollect from his brief stay in Abuja, we began to get a picture that was more accurate than what we had before: there was no Frank Sandra coming from America; Frank was the same person as the ‘friend’, who was both driver and manservant to the household where he took Amara to; he’d travelled once to the USA with his boss, and while he was there, obtained a US number, with which he opened a WhatsApp account. The pictures he used to drum up interest in him very possibly belonged to someone who didn’t even know his pictures were being used to catfish gay men in Nigeria.
Now, we were preparing to write the entire episode off as a lesson learned, when the guy texted me and then Amara on WhatsApp with blackmail. He asked for 30 grand from each of us, threatening to post our nude pictures and Amara’s wank videos online if we didn’t comply. Then he gave us a week to raise the money and there ended the message. I didn’t feel threatened by any exposure because the only remotely identifying factor on the one nude photo I sent him was my chin and the ends of my dreadlocks hanging down across my shoulder. Amara was the one who was in trouble, because the videos had him full-faced and masturbating.
But he also knew enough to call the guy’s bluff. He could recall the directions to the house in Abuja and when he responded to the guy, told him that if he backed him to the wall, he would gladly come back to Abuja to his employer’s house and expose his treachery. There was a tense exchange as the guy lashed back, and Amara counter-threatened him some more.
The chatversation ended on an open-ended note, with the guy neither conceding defeat nor pushing ahead with his threat. However, he sent the blackmail messages on Sunday, and we have a week. So we are waiting to see him do his worst.
Written by Dreads
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24 Comments
Mandy
December 14, 08:32Some gay Nigerians go through kito and you nod your head and say yes, they deserved it. What the fuck is this! You are sending nudes to someone you’ve not met, and you added videos too? All the way to Abuja from Aba, and you hadn’t even spoken to him on the phone? Or heard his voice? Basically all that was making you go to Abuja are pictures and whatsapp messages! Who is this stupid in the Nigerian gay clime of 2017?! ?? And when your ticket turned out to be bad, you didn’t pause to suspect and shut down the whole thing! You got to Abuja and was made to stay 24 hours and without food before you could see the person you thought you came for, and nothing told you you were being played? Jeezuz! This story could have played out anyway bad, you could have walked into a violent situation in Abuja for fuckssakes! If this Amara is reading this, you better wise up fast and stop letting your dick rob you of your senses. This is just stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!
Rehoboth
December 14, 08:41While I understand your anger, nobody deserves kitoing
Mandy
December 14, 08:48Some people do. That’s the only way they’ll learn. Some people won’t have sense until experience has taught them a lesson.
Delle
December 14, 09:04Yes, Mandy love, you’re totally right to be angry. It’s okay to vent but you forget that when something bad wants to happen, there’s this energy that seems to rob even the wisest of his senses. At that point, you’re not thinking rationally (so many personal experiences (not kito) and stories from friends have taught me this).
So while you are justified for being totally irritated at Amara, let’s not forget he is human and can very well slip. I mean, his friend, Dreads, is involved. There’s a very huge possibility he kinda relaxed on his chin knowing there’s no way his friend would link him up with someone snide.
That said, please, DO NOT SEND NUDES WITH YOUR FACE SHOWING! This should already be routine. If they want to see your face, a well-taken clothed photo can very well do that and more.
Rehoboth
December 14, 08:39Extents people can go for a hookup *shudders*
Delle
December 14, 08:59Please, keep us posted. This blackmail thing is becoming a norm these days.
And this may come off as cheesy but I’m so glad Amara wasn’t so hurt. I understand no one should go through what he did but I was genuinely scared it was going to be worse than it turned out.
It sure is going to be a long wait.
Canis VY Majoris
December 14, 10:57While it’s unfair to laugh at your misfortunes it is also fair to say you shouldn’t be this silly considering the country we live in. Adapt to your environment and act accordingly.
So because of ‘sex’ o! You subjected yourself to this type of ordeal. Lord pls save us from this type of Kongi that will make us travel half way across the country for prick and ass!.
?
wonder buoy
December 14, 15:57…and waste 7200 on top.
Tristan
December 14, 11:12All I can say is, TRAVELING to meet someone you don’t really know for a hook up is, in my opinion, very stupid.
If he is so interested, let him get on a bus or something and come to you. That one sef is dangerous, but at least, you have the home advantage.
The shii that happen without traveling sef is crazy enough.
7pm is a very late to be meeting someone for the first time. If he’s busy during the week and won’t get home on time, go during the weekend and get there, say 2pm latest.
This thing where you are to meet up with A and A sends B to pick you up sef is a red flag, if we both agreed on when and where to meet and suddenly you can’t show up, you have to send someone, bye bye.
I don’t understand why and how you would go meet up with someone for the first time and not go with enough money to cover your tfare to and fro and other expenses that may arise, even if he promises to cover that, still go prepared.
This is the 21st century o.
It’s better to be paranoid.
Do not send nudes with your face.
After sex, don’t sleep naked. Get into your briefs and a t-shirt or something.
In conclusion, what you went through isn’t right and shouldn’t happen to anyone.
Be careful next time.
Francis
December 14, 18:13So much protocols/hoops on top say I wan dey fuck variety when I can just find one that is trustworthy with plenty sense and put him on speed dial.
I cannot coman let my paranoia give me HBP biko
Tristan
December 14, 19:01That’s the best o.
Stick to one person ya can totally trust.
trystham
December 16, 19:43Amen!!!!
Cleo
December 14, 13:11the name alone gan, Frank Sandra. really?
Tristan
December 14, 19:02I thought I was the only one.
wonder buoy
December 14, 16:05When some gays decide that sex is more important than friendship, things would be happening. If Amara had at least tried to “find the friend” in Frank, this story might have come here, but under a different heading.
Frank Sandra… From where is he? Facebook names Sha.
There were too many red lights but were all ignored.
Nnanna ndo o.
flame
December 30, 10:23FIND THE FRIEND first! Your intuition serves supreme purpose here! Never be in a hurry to go shagg someone. Kindly wank and blow off the steam if it’s that bad!
It’s utterly disheartening how people would exploit the unfortunate circumstances their sexuality puts them, in a country like this.
The dominant behaviour and psychology on grindr has convinced me that abuse is a matter of power. Homophobes are not demons simply because of it. It’s a more fundamental issue. A lack of humanity. One which I very well recognise amongst countless LGBT folks also.
quinn
December 14, 16:08Mmmh that line…*do your worse *???. This is interesting
Francis
December 14, 18:14How old is Amara oh?
Black Dynasty
December 14, 19:22Complete and utter stupidity on Amara’s part, far too many red flags to have ignored.
What kind of ignorance makes you spend all your money to meet someone you don’t know and be completely at their mercy financially and other wise?
This could very well have been worse than kito even, could have been a kidnapping situation or worse a ritual type situation.
People, be wise. Only got one life to live, listen to that inner voice when it warns you. No man is too fine and no dick/ass is that good to risk your life for.
BRYAN PETERS
December 14, 20:36Wasted my time reading this. The attitude shown here defies logic abeg
DeadlyDarius
December 15, 06:58I just….I can’t deal. So glad it didn’t turn out worse.
This is why closely known f buddies are the best if I’m not in a relationship.
I sincerely hope that the Amara was naive/immature/inexperienced and maybe just getting the hang of gay hookups in Nigeria. Because if otherwise, it begs the question of how lonely/horny/desperate for love would someone be to ignore ALL the signs he was being played. Big, flashing, explicit signs. To the point of sending nude videos with face while not seeing any in return?! *shudders*
dale
December 15, 07:32oh well!.. a cream at hand is way better than meeting an unknown dude.btw,foxydevil where art thou?!
Yazz Soltana
December 16, 14:16Everything here is a product of greed .
American dollars..
Believing he would get more money in return for the one he spent..
I’m not judging you tho…
Dan
December 17, 21:19This so called Amara can’t he just wank and have his brain reset to default mode?.