Dear KD: How Do I Ask My Closeted Colleague Out?
There is this cute dude in my workplace who is a closeted gay guy. I, well, accidentally read his chats with some guy he wanted to hook up with (he’d given me his phone to hold for him as he underwent a task; I don’t know if he did it deliberately though).
We have this chemistry between us. We talk on the phone all the time, about stuff that has nothing to do with work, and he occasionally flirts with me. And he is so hot.
But I do not know the first thing about approaching him, despite knowing what I now know about him. I am scared of taking the bold step to asking him out, lest the situation turns into a kito story.
I hear often about guys who get it on with other guys who they did not meet through the internet. And I wonder, how do they do it? Those who get their gaydar tingling about someone and then make a move to get down with such a guy – how do y’all do it?
Please, I need directions on what to do. I’m really attracted to this guy and I badly want to ask him out.
Submitted by Chuks
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10 Comments
Mandy
August 17, 07:39Well, you could start by bringing up LGBT discussions with him, just to feel him out, see how he reacts to topics about gay people. Him being agreeable with such topics will be a good sign. Because then you can simply just tell him that you want to confess something to him. Let that confession be that you saw his chats, and before he gets angry by that, quickly follow up with another confession: that you know what he knows.
Delle
August 18, 13:10He could be IH-ed.
That thing of coming up with LGBT topics to feel him out isn’t always effective in this clime.
Pete
August 17, 08:46How do you accidentally read a CHAT?
Kenny
August 17, 12:06Ask him to hangout with you na…. Spend time with him outside work. If he’s really queer he’ll see that you’re interested in him and things might fall into place.
bisi
August 17, 13:03Simple! Isolate him often and touch him often ( flirt) don’t talk about sex and watch his reaction. His reaction should dictate to you if you should escalate the tension or stop immediately. So long as you start from light touches.
Note: only do this when you both are alone!!!
With time he should start reciprocating your touches and gives you the i-want-to-fuck-you look.
Then you set! Invite him to yours again start from light touches, escalate sexual tension, he gives you the I-want-to-fuck-you look and you gradually touch your way to orals, then the rest is history.
After your escaped, avoid him. Give him time to process what happened and make sure he initiates the calling. Then if you like, you can take it from there.
Tried! Tested! It worked!
Delle
August 18, 13:13You people have time shaa. All these martial arts just to lay someone? Wawu.
Canis VY Majoris
August 17, 14:17Hear me loud and clear…
Hooking up with a Colleague is a bad idea.
Simple…
david agor
August 18, 04:45Maybe u should start with small gestures, like ask him out for coffee, late evening walk in the park. Then see how things progresses. Try to be in control of ur emotional, give urself plausible deniability, if u think u might be at risk.
Wytem
August 18, 04:49Office liason is a NO NO!!
Think about the possibility of missing the shot.
Even if you guys eventually get down and over with stuff, the awkwardness that follows the fact is a different level of awkward.
Bee
August 18, 10:22The pieces of advice are so divergent ?
Sorry, Chuks