Dear KD: Is Sex Really That Important?
I am 26, never been in a relationship or really felt what love is, although this is something I want to happen for me someday.
I’ve met some fellows, been around, but those didn’t really end well because there was no connection.
But the issue here is I don’t think sex is something I really want to do, even when I eventually get into a relationship, and I fear I might just be single for the rest of my life like this.
So I guess what I want to know is: Is sex really that important in a relationship?
Submitted by Mash Mellow
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27 Comments
beejay
August 06, 08:46Regardless of what the norm is, you’re not alone. Don’t push yourself so far to fit into someone else’s shoes, if you’re not into sex, you’re just not into it. Get rid of the fear and swim with the tides; the most interesting people, you’ll find, are interested in more than just your body.
Mash mellow
August 06, 17:15Thanks Beejay!
Good to know I’m not alone.
Colossus
August 06, 09:08It differs for different people so if sex is not important for you, find someone of like mind. That’s going to be hard sha
Francis
August 06, 09:13What he said
Mash mellow
August 06, 17:18Lol!
Well I really do hope I find someone of like mind and yes I know it’s going to be a struggle well it has been a struggle from the beginning anyway
Thanks
Lemuel
August 06, 09:12It’s important darling. Sex ties the bond and makes the ? stronger. You don’t totally love someone without constantly wanting to consume the person. It also prevents any of you from drifting.
Mash mellow
August 06, 17:22Would have loved to agree with you there!
But with people saying they actually do have sex with no strings attached makes me just think.
And then again I think moments shared and memories is enough to let two people in love not drift apart tho.
Absalom
August 06, 09:34Sex is just sex; there is no objective good or bad value placed on it that works for everyone. Some people like sex, others are indifferent about it, others like the feelings and other gestures surrounding the act, some prefer their sex dirty, others vanilla, still others don’t are disgusted by it.
We can’t all be the same. Else there would be no asexual people, for instance.
You’ve understood yourself. Just find someone who is like you. Or at least understands you enough to be with you.
Mash mellow
August 06, 17:23Thanks Absalom
Noted.
Kingbey
August 06, 09:52Sex is absolutely important in a relationship. Especially when you Bae up with someone you’re physically attracted to. There are times when you may consider drifting or breaking apart but then you remember the mind blowing sex and you make a quick U-turn. Makeup sex as a popular way to resolve issues is there for a reason.
Mash mellow
August 06, 17:25Lmao
Sex making one do U turn ok na
Even when the person is a loser?
I don’t think so
trystham
August 06, 10:48I like sex and frankly, I cannot imagine being in a relationship without collecting the D. I think you should also translate that into ur no-sex ish. Just find someone with a no-sex love thingy and viola!!!
Mash mellow
August 06, 17:26Thanks trystham
Rich
August 06, 12:04My dear sex is important.
Mash mellow
August 06, 17:27Lol
Ok noted
Thanks
Boytoy
August 06, 12:19Dear Mash Mellow,
I must say that your kind is unique and probably hard to come by but on the contrary, sex happens to be an integral part of any intimate relationship (whether gay or straight). However, this is relative primarily because someone could meet you for a quickie or longie or a one-night stand, ends up loving you thereafter and vice versa (may go both ways)
This is relative and differs from individual to individual. Kindly bear in mind that most guys are in for the sex and it would take a lot of influencing, patience and/or a charming personality to make a dude stay.
I hope this suffices.
Warm regards.
Boytoy.
Mash mellow
August 06, 20:12Hello Boytoy(nice pseudo tho!Lol)
Thanks I totally understand all you’ve said,but as a Demisexual there must be connection emotionally before closure can take place!so I might never get to meet a good guy through quickie,Longie or the like.Lol
Jane
August 06, 12:38No, sex is not important at all.
It is gross, messy and tacky.
Take that from a straight, but asexual lady who knows what relationship is all about.
Mash mellow
August 06, 17:28Ok mama Jane.
IBK
August 06, 13:29Sex is only as important as each individual makes it out to be. I know someone who isn’t very into sex.. A couple of people actually. Don’t worry you’re not alone. It’s a lonely road but you aren’t alone.
Develop yourself while you find someone you can make it work with. Perhaps learn to shift your boundaries too..
Mash mellow
August 06, 17:31This finding someone thing is tough, because meeting someone and word is put at there that I’m not interested in sex that’s just the beginning of the end!
But still I’m hopeful.
Thanks
Foxydevil
August 06, 14:58First of all, I need to know the reason you are not having sex.
Having gay sex is a cumbersome affair, the Anus is an unnatural place for penetration, it lacks the naturally moist of the vagina and at such sex in a homosexual relationship can either be a total disaster to very pleasurable depending on how it’s handled.
Are you avoiding sex because you are scared of contracting STDS ?if so there are many ways for you to reduce the risk of you getting them, while still enjoying healthy dosage of sex .
Is sex not something you want to do because you don’t just feel sexually attracted to anyone? In that case you might just be an a homosexual asexual, you crave the companionship of men but you can’t bring yourself to get physical with one…. That’s a difficult situation but most people have learnt to live with it, and learn how to be intimate, be it through hand job, blow job ,deep kisses and long deep embrace.
Perhaps psychological factors OR Sapiosexual? You did mention you felt no connection ,maybe you will open up to your partners more if you find that one person your heart truly embraces ,some people equate love to sex and it is completely OK.
Is sex really important?
Frequent sex might reduce your chances of developing prostrate cancer in the future.
Sex gives pleasure
It builds a bond between two people and oddly can make a relationship stronger
Sex allows for a heightened level of intimacy that might not necessarily be there if all you do is hold hands and read lady bird stories.
Not having sex though :
Might save you a trip to the lab every now and then .
You get to keep the twenty years of your life that might be shortened by frequent gay sex .
You reduce the risk of you ever having oral cancer..
You reduce the chances of you ever developing stomach viral infections that you can naturally get through rimming .
You reduce the chances of the wall of your asshole getting more susceptible to germs, infection, virus and bacterias through the wear and tear suffered during penetration.
You have less chance of contracting hPV, herpes, HIV ,hep B and C .
All in all….. Sex is all you make of it. I wouldn’t say it is important or not ,it all depends on what you make out of it. Some get their orgasms through creativity and productive affairs .You aren’t obligated to have sex with anyone if you don’t want to. ?
Mash mellow
August 06, 17:41Well tbh the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs sums it all up for me really!
I’ve heard of the work people put to it and also the pain that also comes with it,which I don’t think I want to put someone through that or go through it myself not even in the name of love.
I’m alright/good with other sexual activities but penetration is a NO NO!!!
Ken George
August 07, 06:002 most important things in any relationship are sex and money. If present, your relationship can survive almost anything
KÄNE
August 07, 11:15Memories made keeps the heart fonder… Sex is an intimate part of the memories and I’m hoping you’ll find the right one to trigger the sexual part of you someday soon.
Yazz Soltana
August 08, 15:43You might be Demisexual,, ,you might need an emotional connection with someone to even think to even of even having sex.. …
Francis
August 08, 15:56Hmmmm, I’m sexually attracted to every every but for the sex to happen, there has to be emotional connection of some sort.