Dear KD: There Is A Man Who Wants My Man

Dear KD: There Is A Man Who Wants My Man

So I recently met this dude (let’s call him Ed). We got talking and things flowed easily between us. We had no problem hitting it off. From Grindr to WhatsApp video calls, the conversation was easy and smooth.

Then we agreed to meet and things went on from there. The chemistry was right. In terms of roles and emotional stance, we reached a working compromise and we agreed to date.

Then one day, while chilling at his place, Ed’s friend (who we’ll call Ahab) called. It seemed as though he wanted to come over. Ed told him of my presence, but he insisted on coming around. Ed acquiesced. He dropped in and it was cool. He was cool.

I wasn’t bothered by the surfacing of this Ahab, but I asked Ed about him, and he said they were simply friends and that there was nothing there.

But that ‘nothing’ changed when Ahab began sexting Ed. There were requests for them to get together and hook up, and when Ed declined, he requested for them to simply lie down together and cuddle. Ed remained insistent that it wouldn’t happen and began to avoid him. So then came the texts querying him on why he was avoiding him.

Then this dude went online to Twitter and began lamenting about how he’d been long-time friends with my guy and had been secretly crushing on him and taking his time to get to know him, and nyeh, nyeh, nyeh…

Through all this, Ed has remained resolutely opposed to his desire for anything intimate between them – because, well, me. But I am here, wondering just when I should get involved. At what point should I step in and fight for relationship? Because, as much as I would hate to admit it, I have some insecurities owing to the fact that Ahab lives closer to Ed than I do, and he has a tendency of showering Ed with gifts and nice things that I cannot afford for my man.

Honestly, I just need advice on how best to go about things because I don’t want any hassle and I also don’t want to be like this whole thing is not getting to me.

Submitted by Dan Phoenix

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  1. Johnny
    April 24, 07:35 Reply

    Fight for your man o. Show hm how much you care, these days hoes could still stay loyal.

  2. Queen Blue Fox
    April 24, 08:07 Reply

    Okay this is my opinion the time to intervene has come already. If this were my I would set the man snatcher straight the moment that he started the sexting my man!
    Sometimes you just can’t sit and wait foe your man to be faithful, make sure the temptation is out of his way.

  3. Francis
    April 24, 09:52 Reply

    Aren’t we over the fighting for love business? Biko the ball is the court of your boo to issue warnings/threats etc and block a muthafucka.

    • Black Dynasty
      April 25, 17:13 Reply

      Exactly. Smh, let other half handle it… but on the other hand you should talk with your other half and express your dislike of the situation.

  4. Canis VY Majoris
    April 24, 09:53 Reply

    Don’t engage him directly, no good would come out of it. Instead strengthen your resolve by focusing your attention on your man!

    Simply by letting him know you’re THERE!.

  5. Mandy
    April 24, 12:44 Reply

    Let your man be responsible for this. I know it’ll be hard, considering that this bitch is actively being all up in your business. But focus on loving your man and nurturing your relationship. Leave the drama of this guy for your boyfriend to handle.

  6. Omiete
    April 24, 13:34 Reply

    Straight up i agree, leave the hoe for your man to handle. Focus on your man and everyday remind him why he chose to be with you.

    April 24, 21:12 Reply

    Lmaooo. You called him Ahab. U must really hate him. Well, go the extra mile to be there for your man and give him no reason to look at Ahab

    • Dan Phoenix
      April 29, 08:54 Reply


      I didn’t choose the names o,

      buts it’s a freakingly perfect fit

  8. Swan King
    April 25, 05:58 Reply

    I have a very similar story. I was in love with A and then met B and my love took steroids. A story for another day.

  9. Kellies
    April 27, 10:34 Reply

    You will soon find out a lot has happened between them before you surfaced.Let your man guard himself and stay away from any temptation. No need to set anyone straight. If your guy is the faithful type,he won’t give in the other guy’s demand but if he’s the type that believes he can jump on any oshofree/giveaway sex without you knowing,if you like bring in warlords to set the other guy straight, your guy will still give in#mylittlepieceofadvise

  10. Lorde
    April 27, 16:25 Reply

    Is this ed collecting the gifts?

  11. Dickson Clement
    April 29, 04:19 Reply

    Why are you being so stingy, you kuku do not live close to your man,the gracious universe decided to provide a stand_by gen and you aint counting all your blessings? Do not let your insecurities ruin your blessings, learn to share – work with the ruffles and keep quiet- lols
    Now that was a joke-

    I think you should have a talk with both boo and the guy, its the easiest way to solve the problem.

    But learn to share sha???

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