Do You Know A Fuckboy?

Do You Know A Fuckboy?

Fuckboys are guys who are strictly into sexual relationships. They have sexual partners that want them even though they know all they want them for is the sex. There are different kinds of fuck boys, and in my dicktionary, they can be classed into three. Check on the categories below and let us know if you have met any one of them – or are one yourself.


The One With The Devil’s Dick

He has a secret weapon called the Devil’s Dick. The Devil’s Dick is a twice-upgraded version of a normal dick. It sometimes looks like every other dick but the major difference is in the taste. It’s the kind that makes you daydream after the sex till he becomes your addiction. This Dick has all the bulging veins and red encapsulated topping. The good thing about this Devil’s Dick is that it connects special neurons to the tongue, fingers, lips etc. When you are riding him, when you working your way up and down that Dick, he is triggered to hold your waist and fix it in a perfect position where you are made to feel his meat beating around every corner of you like a blender.

I believe it’s called the Devil’s Dick because it has everything you want. You know he is going to break down your garage with it, but you don’t mind leaving the gates permanently open. The fuckboys with this kind of Dick know they have it perfectly, so they don’t stress much after the first performance. They just offer their services to you and leave you dripping and panting on the bed like a whore.

Pros of being with such fuckboys: Their dicks.

Con of being with such fuckboys: They’re dicks.


The Siren

The good thing about ending up with playboys like this is that after the sex, you know you regret it. These ones use their mouth to touch the “hoe” or emotional part of your brain. Everybody wants to be around them but nobody wants to be with them. They are noticeably irresistible, in the sense that you know he wants to have sex with you, but he makes you feel like you want it too. Conversations with him go like this:

You: Do you have kids?

Him: None, except the ones you will be swallowing later.

He is rude, but in such a sensual way that gets your temperature up instead of your temper. He is the one that will smack your ass when you least expect it, and just when you begin with an indignant “Hey…”, he’ll say with a roguish smile, “Babe, you’ve got the best cakes I’ve ever seen. I’m glad they are mine.”

First, you are laughing at his joke. Then you are moaning to his strokes.

Pros: He makes you feel very good about yourself during the period you are together.

Con: He makes you feel not so good about yourself when you can’t shake off the feeling that he probably uses his lines on fifty other guys.


The Prince Charming

You know how when you see some guys, your legs start to shake, your voice fails you and your man-pussy begins an ovation? Yes, that guy that can get your entire system to react even before he has said “Hello” to you is the Prince Charming. Their charm oozes effortlessly from them, like it was encoded in their chromosomes. Most of these kinds of guys aren’t even born with the Fuckboy gene, but very, very thirsty bitches push them to become fuckboys. They are the type of guys whose pictures you save as your screensaver.

Pros: Being with him makes you the envy of everybody else who wants a bite out of him.

Con: You’d most likely grow tired of him after a while, especially when his sex is all he has to offer.

Written by Nonso Chukwu

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  1. Black Dynasty
    May 31, 06:57 Reply

    Lol in the early days, my naivete threw me into the trap of the Siren. I fell once, but learnt my lesson real quick.

  2. Rehoboth
    May 31, 07:08 Reply

    The fuckboys described above are all tops. Can’t bottoms be fuckboys? #AskingForMax

    • Delle
      May 31, 09:18 Reply

      I tire o.

      I shaa liked the pun splashed all over the post.

  3. Babyfwesh
    May 31, 07:30 Reply

    Lol. Thank God I’m nt a fuck boy, FYI d guy on d picture is 1 of my favorite breed it raw models, he knows how to do his job properly ?

  4. Bitchy YONCÉ
    May 31, 09:07 Reply

    Ha I’ve been a victim, wait a sex! Am I still a victim of the siren.. Well I actually don’t care about who he uses his words on.. Just treat me pussy well and go.. When I need recharging I’ll hit him up.. Life and times of a hoe. ??

  5. Nele
    May 31, 14:20 Reply

    Hmm let’s see… Ta..ti..ti.. Aha!!! The first one, I identify with the first one, (how apt!) And then I have been in a relationship with The Siren and there are still scars all over….

    Nicely written, Nonso is good at what he does.

  6. Dunder
    May 31, 14:34 Reply

    This was pun paradise. And very funny too. I am watching out for part 2.

  7. Mebi
    June 01, 20:45 Reply

    Lawd …I wouldn’t mind a siren and the one with the devil’s dick…

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