FOR WANT OF AN IDENTITY
Writer’s Word: This poem was written a few years ago, when I was still struggling with identifying who I was and with self acceptance. It is published now in recognition of those still struggling to accept themselves and to remind us that we all take different lengths of time to accept ourselves.
*
His face a perfect guise for his secrets within
His life is a lie ‘cause he is living a sin
His sin – a label of the society in which he is in
His secret – a burden on his shoulders
With the weight of a million boulders
While it is day, he wears a smile
A disguise that lasts only a while
In the silent solitude of the night
He turns a somber sight
He shares his secret with no one, with no one but himself
Only to reshelf them at dawn on the cracked shelves of his broken mind
Smiles all through day light
Somber through the dark night
All because he is living a lie
*
As the days turn to night and the nights to day
He begins to lose himself
No longer able to separate who he is
From whom society wants him to be
And so begins his fight for an identity
The desires of self against the demands of society
His Yin, their Yang; His right, their wrong
His cry for help misconstrued a call for attention
For so long he has lived multiple lives
With no idea which is really his
He never could explain the why or how
Of whom he was: a deviation from the norm of society
And an explanation was all he ever wanted
He was what he wished he wasn’t
Now all he wants is to be himself
If only he knew himself.
Written by Chandler B.
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5 Comments
Mandy
August 02, 05:48Oftentimes I don’t even understand how gay people strive not to accept themselves. Like seriously, how can you bear to keep carrying the burden of self denial? Isn’t the thought of how light you’d feel within you when you just drop it and embrace yourself for who you are just the best option?
Oludayo A.
August 02, 16:27Sometimes, its not that easy. Bar sexuality, and consider other issues, some people have downright issues accepting some aspects of their lives.
Pink Panther
August 02, 16:33Those downright issues… Why though? Isn’t it just easier to not have them? #justasking
FOOFOO
August 02, 07:29Seems well worded, but equivocal in meaning…
Raj
August 02, 10:45Leaving in Denial is the greatest burden one can carry because not only does it reduce you, it will make you lose focus of who you’re and what your purpose is…
Some people who come to me for counseling tells me that they’re still in denial and have been in it for 5 years… Why will you not accept yourself and expect that you won’t face problems? what’s the essence of coming for counseling when you’re not yourself, when you still lie about your personality?
The Hallmark of this is, accept who you’re first, all other challenges attached to your sexuality will be solved in blink…
well,
#Just Passing by…??????