FOR WANT OF AN IDENTITY

FOR WANT OF AN IDENTITY

Writer’s Word: This poem was written a few years ago, when I was still struggling with identifying who I was and with self acceptance. It is published now in recognition of those still struggling to accept themselves and to remind us that we all take different lengths of time to accept ourselves.

*

His face a perfect guise for his secrets within

His life is a lie ‘cause he is living a sin

His sin – a label of the society in which he is in

His secret – a burden on his shoulders

With the weight of a million boulders

While it is day, he wears a smile

A disguise that lasts only a while

In the silent solitude of the night

He turns a somber sight

He shares his secret with no one, with no one but himself

Only to reshelf them at dawn on the cracked shelves of his broken mind

Smiles all through day light

Somber through the dark night

All because he is living a lie

*

As the days turn to night and the nights to day

He begins to lose himself

No longer able to separate who he is

From whom society wants him to be

And so begins his fight for an identity

The desires of self against the demands of society

His Yin, their Yang; His right, their wrong

His cry for help misconstrued a call for attention

For so long he has lived multiple lives

With no idea which is really his

He never could explain the why or how

Of whom he was: a deviation from the norm of society

And an explanation was all he ever wanted

He was what he wished he wasn’t

Now all he wants is to be himself

If only he knew himself.

Written by Chandler B.

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5 Comments

  1. Mandy
    August 02, 05:48 Reply

    Oftentimes I don’t even understand how gay people strive not to accept themselves. Like seriously, how can you bear to keep carrying the burden of self denial? Isn’t the thought of how light you’d feel within you when you just drop it and embrace yourself for who you are just the best option?

    • Oludayo A.
      August 02, 16:27 Reply

      Sometimes, its not that easy. Bar sexuality, and consider other issues, some people have downright issues accepting some aspects of their lives.

      • Pink Panther
        August 02, 16:33 Reply

        Those downright issues… Why though? Isn’t it just easier to not have them? #justasking

  2. FOOFOO
    August 02, 07:29 Reply

    Seems well worded, but equivocal in meaning…

  3. Raj
    August 02, 10:45 Reply

    Leaving in Denial is the greatest burden one can carry because not only does it reduce you, it will make you lose focus of who you’re and what your purpose is…
    Some people who come to me for counseling tells me that they’re still in denial and have been in it for 5 years… Why will you not accept yourself and expect that you won’t face problems? what’s the essence of coming for counseling when you’re not yourself, when you still lie about your personality?

    The Hallmark of this is, accept who you’re first, all other challenges attached to your sexuality will be solved in blink…

    well,

    #Just Passing by…??????

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