Closeted Gay Teen Discovers Homophobic Dad Is On Grindr

Closeted Gay Teen Discovers Homophobic Dad Is On Grindr

As if being gay and in the throes of puberty weren’t difficult enough, a teenager claims he found his homophobic dad on Grindr.

Reddit user, decidinginbetween, posted the following thread online:

‘Found out that my “Homophobe” dad has Grindr on his iPhone when he asked me to go fetch it from the car. I am still closeted (denial/curious) so i know what Grindr is, even though i don’t have it myself. This makes it so much more confusing for me.’

The post has received over 100 responses, with other Reddit users offering a wide range of advice.

“My dad was extremely homophobic before I came out to him when I was 18,” atomicpunksf replied. “He ended up doing a total 180 after going to therapy and eventually became the president of our local PFLAG chapter for a while. He later told me that he was bisexual and admitted that his homophobia was due to his own self hatred around being bisexual.”

“A closeted married guy on Grindr might have some intense homophobia going on that he could take out on the queer kid in his care,” jaycatt7 warned. “Tread carefully.”

“Don’t tell your mother until you have had the chance to talk to him,” dipaolo said. “I know that family makes this predicament 10 times more complicated, but outing someone has repercussions.”

Other advice was slightly less helpful.

“You may have to make a fake profile and try to seduce him,” varianlogic said.

“Is your dad hot?” Jota769 asked.

“Don’t hook up with him,” NotAmused1001 advised.

A few weeks later, decidinginbetween posted the following update on the situation:

‘Hi all, appreciate all the kind words of help and encouragement. I don’t know how to explain it in details though, but TLDR: Dad stood in denial and went on the defensive, even tried to question my own sexuality. Mom still does not know and that pains me. I guess he would still be that closeted homophobe and I that closeted homo who is too shit to do more. Maybe all of this is just in my head. Maybe i am just thinking too much.’

Here’s hoping these two find peace in their complicated situation.

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41 Comments

  1. Gad
    March 09, 06:04 Reply

    Uncertainty, hypocrisy, self denial/hatred,confussion etc. All are common to man. Some lie to themselves all the days of their lives.

    • xpressivejboy
      March 09, 07:30 Reply

      Just like you’ve decided to…all the rest of your ‘life’.

      • Pete
        March 09, 08:05 Reply

        Jboy, what do you know about Gad except his online personality here? And what do you mean by he has decided to lie to himself. I demand you apologize to him

        • xpressivejboy
          March 09, 08:22 Reply

          Pete, you demand?
          Like seriously?! You learning to talk, or what?

          You better shush aside…or have yourself to blame for whatever you get ‘cos of this.

      • Colossus
        March 09, 08:10 Reply

        What wrong was said to warrant this jab? This was totally uncalled for

      • Pete
        March 09, 08:35 Reply

        It’s an online forum & you & I know there’s nothing you can do to me except spew insults. There should be a limit to what we say to each other here. And yes, I demand you apologize to Gad.

      • Dennis Macauley
        March 09, 08:38 Reply

        Pete I get your point, but worse things have been said to other people here! Why did you not demand an apology too?

      • MacArdry
        March 09, 10:42 Reply

        That was totally uncalled for,there’s nothing writ in that comment nor on any thread on KD thus far as warrant Gad being called a hypocrite or one in self-denial.If you both have issues,go resolve it,don’t bring it here Jboy.
        I stand with Pete,I demand you apologize to Gad.

      • MacArdry
        March 09, 10:46 Reply

        As for you Dennis,having favorites/those you easily flow with,does not mean you should stand in support of what’s not right.Call a spade by its name,not some farm implement.That excuse of what might have been in the past don’t hold water here.

        • xpressivejboy
          March 09, 11:40 Reply

          Diaris nothing I won’t see…Cockroaches Talking. *Laffin’ in Greek Tone*

          • pinkpanthertb
            March 09, 11:49 Reply

            Jboy, that’s enough please. You were quite out of line going after Gad unprovoked like that. But to apologise or not is your prerogative. Let’s not however derail into a larger spat.

      • Colossus
        March 09, 13:35 Reply

        You threw an insult at gad, unprovoked. You were told to apologise but What do you do? Throw more insults at others.
        To apologise is your perogative even though under this circumstances, it is the right thing to do. How we behave online is a reflection of how we are as flesh and bones, in the real world and in our interactions.
        You can’t continue to remain a bitter individual, you really do need to let it all out and embrace the joyous side of life. Gad did not attack anybody with his comment, he was not even his sometimes condescending self, he spoke of the demons that plague man and It’s portrayal by SOME.
        Do you have a personal axe to grind with him, take it outside.

      • Gad
        March 09, 13:53 Reply

        When one joins issues with an unidentified rent boy online it’s pardonable but glorifies a known patronage seeking rent boy with a response,nothing can be more disgusting and unforgivable.

      • Colossus
        March 09, 15:03 Reply

        And just like that, Gad has ruined it all. You really should know better than throwing your own insult. Calling him a rent boy? Oh I’m out, I really should have stayed out.

      • wytem
        March 10, 02:34 Reply

        Jboy… you just sounded like a doorpost.

        • xpressivejboy
          March 10, 04:43 Reply

          So Much Love…non-commenters now quacking…Gad, me glad you got the gist; that settles it all…Unappointed SAG (Senior Advocates of Gad), keep rimming.

          Pinkie, daalu so.
          DM, keep ignoring ’em.

          *blows kisses to All*

  2. Max
    March 09, 06:08 Reply

    Really weird situation.

  3. trystham
    March 09, 06:14 Reply

    looool. that varianlogic guy tho. How would he know if his dad were hot? Its his dad for Pete’s sake.
    I guess atomicpunksf had d right of it

  4. Deola
    March 09, 06:39 Reply

    ‘You may have to make a fake profile and try to seduce him’.

    That’s some twisted train of thought…if anyone has to even attempt that mission then it’s shouldn’t be the dude. Jeez.

    • Colossus
      March 09, 07:20 Reply

      Why? That’s What I’ll do. Seems like the sure fire way to get proof.

      • Dennis Macauley
        March 09, 07:58 Reply

        Thankyou Colossus I wanted someome else to say first before i am staked to death lol. I will set up another profile, chat him up and even arrange a hotel tryst. Get proof and blackmail him forever, my siblings wont know why he always buys me expensive stuff!

      • Deola
        March 09, 08:17 Reply

        Evil children…maybe the thought of seducing my father, fake profile or not just turns my stomach.
        Which is why I said another person should do it biko.

  5. Mikky
    March 09, 08:39 Reply

    seduce and finally blackmail him? that’s not fair. if you clarify your doubt, you can roll with him. lols

  6. Chizzie
    March 09, 09:13 Reply

    overtly homophobic ppl struggle with compressed gay tendencies. and this proves it yet again.

  7. MacArdry
    March 09, 09:40 Reply

    Why have all my comments thus far disappeared into the ether,Pinky?.What’s going on?.

    • MacArdry
      March 09, 09:46 Reply

      So,one is not allowed to reply to certain comments made by some personalities on here?.That’s how it’s looking right now,with my previous commentaries disappearing without a trace

      • pinkpanthertb
        March 09, 11:23 Reply

        MacArdry, your comments are either in the Spam folder or got thwarted by your network. Kindly refrain from insinuating things that are untrue.

      • pinkpanthertb
        March 09, 11:24 Reply

        I have no idea what your comments even looked like, let alone know what to do with their possible disappearance.

      • MacArdry
        March 09, 13:35 Reply

        Wasn’t my network,so I’ll go with your “Spam” folder.
        It’s no longer important,anyway.

      • Max
        March 09, 16:20 Reply

        ***walks by sipping coffee**

  8. Oluwadamilare Okoro
    March 09, 15:14 Reply

    Maybe he has Grindr on his phone for research purposes (pls Deola, help buttress my point)

    The father obviously has a lot of issues… *i will go now go through the comments and see what our professional psychologists have to say*

  9. Gerald
    March 10, 06:52 Reply

    Jboy if you want Gad, its not by force. You don’t have to display your lack of home training

    • xpressivejboy
      March 10, 07:33 Reply

      Hmmm!

      Home training? *thinking pensively* Home Training?!

      Home Trainer, how market? Can see you’ve got much…can really see, to have tho’t I’ll have a pinch of want for a fatty-flappy self-acclaimed man with smells of cereals on his mouth.

      Gerald, Colo-whatever and Others, for Pete’s sake *LOL* save us the bad breathe…I recommend Oral B.

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