FOREWORD: If you’ve read the three-chaptered Kito story – WE ARE HERE: THE ATTACK, THE HUNT, THE RETRIBUTION – then you would be familiar with who this next ally is. In the months since he was part of a gang that brutalized members of our community in Enugu, he has come a long way in turning his hate around to an appreciation of the humanity in the LGBT.

And this – an admonition to the heterosexual society – is what he has to say to commemorate the Ally Week. Check on it.


We are a very funny species indeed. We keep on fighting against different types of discrimination and infringements on human rights like racism, apartheid, gender inequality, lack of freedom of religion and that of speech, violence against women and the rest of them. And we feel good about ourselves when we engage in such activities.

But then, we, as individuals and as a society at large, discriminate passionately against a certain minority group – the homosexuals. Once we hear a fellow is gay, that’s the end. He’s seen as an outcast, just like the lepers in the biblical times. We don’t want to have anything to do with them. We don’t want to see them. In fact, some of us wish that all of them would just die.

The me of 7 – 8 months ago was a strong antigay homie, who saw homosexuality as a curse visited on those who claim it as their identity. Over the passing months however, I’ve come to realise how shallow-minded and messed-up I have been with respect to this issue. I used to wonder which planet gay people came from; I saw them as vermin and I sincerely wished that all of them would just die. (No offence, this is in the past).

Somewhere along the line, I came in contact with a gay guy. The day I met him, I was among a group of guys who nearly beat him to death. Thank God he didn’t die (And hey, Mitch, if you are reading this, I’m truly sorry for what I did. I truly am). They were two of them that day, two people I owe my deepest apologies to, but I don’t want to talk about that right now. The thing is, I went on to become friends with this guy, one of them who I visited such homophobic wrath on. And new every day, I find myself getting confronted with the reality that there is no much difference in the two of us. In fact, to an extent, he’s more human than a lot of heterosexual people I know, including myself. The only difference is that he’s sexually attracted to his fellow men. Even with that, why is that a big deal? Sure, it’s not the norm, but that doesn’t make him abnormal or a lesser human being than those of us guys who desire women.

He – they – deserve to be treated better. That’s the hardcore truth! That most of the human population is heterosexual doesn’t make someone like me better than them that make up the minority. We are all one! The same red blood that runs through me, through straight people, runs through gay people as well. So why on earth do we treat them like scum? It’s messed up.

I got to talk to this friend of mine about his sexuality, and the things he has revealed to me have had me marveling. Denying him and people like him their rights or making them feel subhuman because of their sexuality is somewhat worse than ethnic and racial discrimination, in my opinion, because we are denying them one of the fundamental qualities that differentiates man from lower animals – the ability to love. Yes! When we say to hell with gay rights and some such homophobic sentiments, we are saying that gay people should not fall in love, that they don’t deserve to love or be loved. This desire to love comes as natural to a gay person as it comes to a heterosexual person. If you cannot hold yourself responsible for who you love as a straight person, then how can you accuse a gay person of making that choice? If in fact you have to question anybody, then look up and ask God how far. He is responsible for all creation, is He not?

Gay people are not bad. We should stop with all the narratives that attempt to make them out to be anything less than human. After all, in the first book of the Bible, it was written that God looked upon all He had made and saw that it was good – including the homosexuals. In the New Testament, there’s the story of when an angel admonished an apostle for calling what God made unclean. The love and desires of a gay person is valid and natural. Punishing them for something that’s not their fault is unfair and the most inhumane thing to do to a person.

To anyone who is prejudiced reading this, please and please, change the way you regard homosexuals. They are not alien or lower animals. They are flesh and blood, like you and me. Personally speaking, that 14 years antigay law is a load of rubbish. The government should think of better policies that would better our lives, not such policies as this premised on nothing but a selfish pandering to a homophobic majority in our society. Whether religion, tradition or a sense of morality, whatever foundation led to that law getting signed into existence, nothing justifies the inhumanity of it. There are a great many dangers to the society for whom stricter laws should be made to put them away. Actual criminals whose excesses prove detrimental to lives and property.

All the gay person does is love and desire someone like him. Like her.

How can anyone call that a crime? How can anyone look to that as a reason to look down on his fellow human?

Written by Dee

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  1. Mitch
    October 16, 10:31 Reply

    I don’t cry!
    But there’s tears in my eyes from reading what you wrote, Dee.

    I’m proud of how far you’ve come.
    And I forgave you a long ass time ago.
    We wouldn’t be friends if I hadn’t.

    Having you, Femz, Ify and Boo on my side has been a really rewarding experience.

  2. Jason
    October 16, 11:48 Reply

    A silent but avid reader , I however really don’t know how I feel about this . After reading what they took you lads through. I really don’t know, can someone change after such an attack ? It takes a lot to injure someone yet alone injure not only one man but a host of others . If Mitch and the others have forgiven him however, I guess my opinion is irrelevant . I wish them well .

  3. Deola
    October 16, 11:56 Reply

    Okay I’m so gonna cry…. Oh!! I’m crying lol

  4. Patrick
    October 16, 19:31 Reply

    The one question that I’ll have all gay men answer is this: if I were straight, would I be homophobic? And if yes, what sort of homophobe would you be? Is it
    1. The fence-sitting, passive, I-don’t-care-who-you-sleep-with homophobe
    2. The vociferous, holier-than-thou twitter user who thinks the bible itself is compromised for broaching the subject of homosexuality
    3. The losers who beat-up and lynch gays
    Only in Nigeria, Africa, and the Middle East (poverty-stricken places) are you most likely to be beaten up for being gay. The problem is poverty. Nobody—no matter how homophobic—would leave his ivory tower and join ranks with a lynching mob. But when you’re destitute of possession and decent living, you begin to begrudge other people of love and happiness. You seek an outlet for your simmering misery. This why many Nigerians who travel overseas become less homophobic.
    I fear that until Nigeria’s economic fortunes change, our own fortunes won’t be changing anytime soon. But we can shield ourselves from some of the hate by creating a good, independent life for ourselves.

    Thanks Dee.

  5. Stretchy
    October 24, 09:33 Reply

    While I’m happy u came to the light Dee. I’m still not quite over the harm you brought to those guys – Mitch and the others. If someone had died, is this the same “i av seen the light” crap u will be spewing? Yes we r all for the straight people finally understanding us but at what cost. I am happy for u but I’m still very pissed. Only time will tell if u av really changed.

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